CH 220

–Why did I fall in love with him?

Kururi Kurumizawa pondered.

”   “

However, what was created was a ‘blank’.

When Shiho Shimotsuki asked her why, she immediately tried to answer, but nothing came out in the end.

“… See, that’s just the extent of it. You don’t even know why, yet you love someone, you’re only playing along.”

Kururi Kurumizawa, however, could not say anything back to those words that were hurled at her with a mocking sneer.

（Why did I fall in love with Nakayama?)

Desperately, she scrambled through her memories.

Searching through her past emotions, she sought answers to her questions.

But nothing came up.

(What was the reason I fell in love with Nakayama?)

Kururi Kurumizawa had lost sight of her feelings for Kotaro Nakayama.

… No, perhaps that expression is not accurate.

She did not lose sight of them. She had never had those feelings from the very beginning.

(As I recall, I saw Nakayama right after I transferred to a new school, and then … somehow, I got interested in him…)

Looking back, the feelings were always vague from the beginning.

She became interested in him somehow, wanted to get to know him somehow, and somehow “liked” him somehow.

It was a love that all started “somehow,” and she couldn’t find a clear reason for it.

(I know Nakayama is a wonderful person…)

She understands his charm.

He was calm, friendly, and not at all nervous when he was next to her, just like when one is with a close family member.

But he also had a shadowy expression on his face sometimes, and that was the part that stuck in her mind. … He was a boy with such a mysterious charm.

But all of this is just an afterthought.

The one thing Shiho Shimotsuki wants to know is the “reason” she fell in love with him.

Since there is no such thing, Kururi Kurumizawa could only keep her mouth shut.

“Some people might say, ‘You don’t need a reason to love someone’. But I don’t think so.”

Shiho Shimotsuki knows that there are real and fake feelings of love.

Because she has seen a girl poisoned by her childhood friend, the protagonist, embracing and suffering from false love.

Well, there are occasional exceptions to the pattern where the fake replaces the real. … But this time, Kururi Kurumizawa did not fit that pattern.

“It’s not fair that you just sort of fall in love with him, and then sort of end that love … and you don’t get hurt much in the end.”

“But even if … I confess my feelings to him and he rejects me, I’m the only one who will be hurt, right? What’s wrong with that?”

“…No, it isn’t like that.”

Only those who confess and are rejected are hurt – those who are lightly affected by such feelings do not face the feelings of “love”.

“Kotaro-kun is a kind boy, so he took your feelings seriously. He was troubled, he suffered, and he still faced his feelings. So even if he only rejects you, how can he think nothing of it?”

Kotaro Nakayama is not a lighthearted person.

Shiho Shimotsuki knows this well.

Shiho has fallen in love with him because of that.

“Even refusing your confession hurts Kotaro-kun, you know? It can’t be helped, but he feels ‘sorry’ for you.”

“Love” is an act of hurting and being hurt.

Therefore, Shiho believes that this is an area that should not be touched half-heartedly.

At the very least, she does not want her to make a careless confession based on false feelings.

Because while Kururi, who would be rejected, would not be hurt much, Kotaro Nakayama, who rejected her, would be hurt more.

There was no way she could allow that to happen…