CH 258

–Is there any way to save her?

She had a fight with Ryuzaki. There was something unforgivable. Because of that, Yuzuki was hurt to the point of not being able to be normal.

I want to know how to save her from that.

As a childhood friend, I don’t think it’s only…

Both Yuzuki and I have low self-esteem and can only confirm our own value by being recognized by others. As a kindred spirit, I see myself in her.

I wanted to see her saved.

Otherwise, I am afraid that I will become rotten like her.

This is not for Yuzuki’s sake.

I want to save Yuzuki for my sake.

But what can I do to save her?

“Yuzuki… this is not right.”

There is no clear answer.

I’m not sure how to play this kind of ‘role’.

“I think it’s strange that Yuzuki would go so crazy over something as trivial as ‘love’.”

I chose to play the role of a “hateful person”.

The same way, I scoffed at Kirari and urged her to get up the courage.

This time, too, I tried to regenerate Yuzuki’s heart in the same way.

In the furnace of her heart, which was on the verge of dying out, she kindled the fire of anger. By doing so, Kirari stood up once again.

I decided on this option in the hope that Yuzuki would do the same.

“You and Ryuzaki had a bit of a fight, didn’t you? Disagreements are nothing unusual. It’s normal, so why are you being so desperate? Your dirty clothes, your filthy living environment, … this kind of thing is not normal.”

I wonder if this kind of thing could possibly be described as ‘rough treatment’?

I know this is a terrible thing to say. I’m sure Yuzuki understands that I don’t need to tell her every little thing.

But I dared to put it into words because I wanted to shake Yuzuki’s heart.

“…………”

But she said nothing.

She seemed to have heard me and was looking straight at me, but her … expression didn’t move the slightest bit.

I can’t tell if she is angry or sad.

Are the words still weak? If so,… I’m disheartened, but I’ll have to say something a little stronger.

“You keep falling down, and your body is covered in scars, but … that’s like self-injury. Are you trying to say that your mind is hurting so much that you physically hurt yourself? Please don’t do that kind of… act. It makes me sick to look at you.”

After saying that, I again looked for Yuzuki’s reaction.

I wanted her to be angry.

I wanted her to slap me on the cheek like Kirari did.

“What do you know about me!?”

I was waiting for those words.

I wanted her to show me that much passion.

“Ahaha… Certainly, yes.”

But Yuzuki just smiled bitterly, as if she had given up…

“It’s really strange to get so hurt over something as trivial as love. Moreover, it’s not that we had a fight, … it’s just that I was disappointed. Ryoma-san didn’t do anything wrong…”

–Not true.

Such ‘affirmation’ was not what I was looking for.

But Yuzuki was still a very good listening girl.

For better or worse, she really is a “convenient” girl for men.

She easily gives in, humbles herself, and reflects vehemently that she was wrong to be so lowly.

She expresses my superiority with her attitude, tickles my self-esteem, and encourages my pride.

Those are the things that are wrong.

Yuzuki… We fail because we are always passive like that.

Why can’t you see that?

Why can’t I make you … aware of that?

“I’m sorry I made you feel uncomfortable. When I saw Kotaro-san’s face, I felt nostalgic … and remembered memories of when my mother was alive a long time ago. That’s why I called out to you.”

–I couldn’t reach her.

My words and thoughts still don’t resonate with Yuzuki.

It’s not that I wanted words of apology.

I didn’t want her to care about me.

I wanted her to think more about herself since she was hurting so much.

But I guess Yuzuki can’t do that.

I know this because I am a coward just like her. The most difficult thing for people like us to do is to “protect” ourselves.

Yuzuki is again despising herself.

And I can’t change her, can I?

After all, I can’t save Yuzuki.

Because I am not the protagonist.

For Yuzuki, Kotaro Nakayama is a childhood friend, but I’m is just a … “mob character.

There is only one person who can change her… and save her.　

The name of that person is Ryoma Ryuzaki…