Chapter 134 - Dark Past

Author's warning : this chapter might make you uncomfortable please , please , please I'm really serious when I say if you have qualms don't read . Hint : includes Lin Yan 's dark past 

" are you alright ?" Su Wan looked at Lin Yan who was now flushed like a boiled lobster , because Lin Yan's complexion was really pale compared to his brothers , the red blush of his body was even more prominent , if Su Wan didn't know it better , she might have thought that Lin Yan was some pretty woman on the verge of getting molested . 

Lin Yan actually wanted to confess but the experience was too shameful for him to speak about it , except his family no one knew about it and though he knew that  Su Wan could be trusted , Lin Yan was still ashamed , he didn't want to speak so he could only grit his teeth and smile which looked worse than crying "

Its alright , come you might be tired - I will "

Before Lin Yan could finish his sentence , Su Wan walked forward there was a subtle change in her aura , as she looked down at him - she leaned forward and with a smile that wasn't a smile , she spoke up " do you want to continue with that statement or would you like to amend it , hubby ?" Lin Yan flinched ever so slightly upon hearing that word, and he knew it didn't escaped Su Wan's sharp eyes as she sneered " I'm done playing this game , my darling , you better come out with the truth because the next lie that comes out of your mouth , will earn you a punishment "

Lin Yan didn't know what Su Wan was trying to do or why she was acting as such but before he could think about anything else , he watched in both horror and stupefaction as Su Wan raised her right leg and her pointy toes came to rest at his chest , instinctively Lin Yan leaned but the more he leaned back the more Su Wan 's toes got closer to his chest . 

" wanna speak the truth , hubby or would you like a punishment ?" Since Su Wan knew that Lin Yan mostly had some major trust issues because of some past trauma that most probably was linked to a woman , she was exceptionally gentle and patient , she spoke in a harsh and cold voice but at the same time kept a close check of Lin Yan 's expression , the second he acted as if he was uncomfortable , she will stop pushing his boundaries but right now , it was important for Lin Yan to slowly submit to her and understand that he can trust her , that she will never hurt him even if she has the power over him . That was why , even though her toe was hanging this close to touching Lin Yan , she didn't plant her toe flush against his skin , not until she knew he was ready for her touch . 

" I don't want a punishment and I don't think I like the sound of it " Liar . Lin Yan loved that dominating tone in Su Wan's voice , he loved that chilling edge in her tone , when that woman said the word ' punishment ' ,Lin Yan felt his scalp tingle with fear but now that it was  Su Wan's who was speaking that word , his heart was pounding so loudly that he was sure even Su Wan could hear it . His gaze drifted to Su Wan 's toe that was hovering inches above his chest and beneath his fear he knew that Su Wan will never try to force him into something that he didn't want to . 

Su Wan smiled then used her toes to tip his chin and tilt his head until he was looking at her " why don't we start from the very beginning of the story Ah Yan ? You know I won't judge you , hurt you or condemn you , right "

He knew it , but he didn't know if he really trusted himself with that truth . Su Wan retracted her feet , however she crossed her arms once again in front of her chest , it must be a miracle or maybe his own illusion but somehow Su Wan looked like the judge that sat behind that long table in the Yamen , the one who decided whether to decapitate or give liberation to the accused . 

" did a woman , touched you involuntarily, other than me of course ?" Since Lin Yan wasn't speaking Su Wan decided to use another technique . 

The silky soft slide of her voice didn't fool Lin Yan he knew that Su Wan was pissed off . And she was just the thought of someone else touching her man was almost impossible for Su Wan to accept , she wished she could tear off the woman who did this to her little husband - no worries , once she finds out who it was , she will surely make that woman rue the day she was born but firstly - Su Wan glared at Lin Yan with a talk soon glare . 

Lin Yan gulped maybe it was time for him to come clean , he raised his hands in surrender and sighed " yes "

Su Wan huffed as if she wanted to charge at the culprit like an angry bull . Then she looked at Lin Yan and said " continue " it wasn't that she was asking, she was practically commanding him . 

Lin Yan sighed , he knew there was no point hiding , even if he did , his body might react in a way that his secret will come out sooner or later , so Lin Yan simply decided to tell Su Wan the entire thing maybe it might help " It happened when I was twelve , my grandmother sent me away to become a male servant at a rich household - at first every thing was alright , and nothing happened but then - after some time I don't know how but I caught the eye of the madam of the household , she was a widow and had no children- she would occasionally call me to eat some candies and deserts together with her , I didn't realise anything at that moment but later on the madam started touching me a bit inappropriately , as a child I didn't understand but then slowly and gradually I became uncomfortable , she would ask me to touch her chest saying that she was suffering from chest pain , or sometimes ask me to wash her , which included cleaning almost everything -I didn't like it not even in the least , I told my family that I wanted to quit but my grandmother didn't agree , she said that I was throwing a tantrum , I wasn't - later on when the madam realised that I had no background , she started asking me to insert my man thing inside her " Lin Yan broke away , swallowing a huge gulp of cold air as his eyes turned red , as for Su Wan she has already lost her fierceness and was hugging Lin Yan tightly , after a short pause Lin Yan continued " it wasn't remotely sexy and I refused at once , so she started punishing me sometimes she would lock me up , or sometimes she would let me go hungry for days and every-time she took me out , she would ask the same thing from me , after a short while I couldn't hold on and agreed , I told her I would do what she wanted but I wanted to take a bath before that , since she thought that I was only a child , I couldn't do much so she agreed - and then I took advantage of her little slip up and ran away , once I reached my house I told my family about it and they immediately purchased me back - of course my grandmother threw a tantrum right then and there but eldest brother told her that if she dared to send me to a paedophile again, he would kill the entire family and himself only then my grandmother stopped "

Lin Yan forced himself to calm down then leaned against Su Wan 's neck inhaling her scent , surprisingly that worked like magic and he calmed down " so there you are - that's why I couldn't trust you at first because all predators act nice before they rip off their masks "

Author's note : involuntarily touches are uncalled for whether man or woman , and I understand that - you can take this as my personal experience as I was fourteen and a grown up man touched me inappropriately when I was travelling with my family alone at night in a train , he actually tried to undo my jeans while I was asleep  and - it wasn't nice , and it was one of the most awful thing that happened to me , I had nightmares , I couldn't do anything at the time because I was too young and it still haunts me that I should have screamed for help then staring at the man in shock to give him a chance to scamper , so if you are molested ( I wish it never ever happens to anyone ) speak , shout and do whatever you can . On a light hearted side please do remember to comment and give your suggestion what you want to see next and if possible send a gift