CH 61

Chapter 61 Hidden Pain

Many things were suspicious.

If it were usual, Liu Zhongming would definitely want to go home and find someone to discuss, but the situation of the person in the family was terrible.

He was in a hurry to go home, but because he wanted to inform Bai Shiyan of the events in the palace, he had to leave the city first.

Bai Shiyan, who hadn’t come home for a few days, had tanned a lot, and was dragged by him into the tent with a grumbling stomach. He couldn’t drink alcohol, so he could only drink two pots of tea, indignantly.

“It’s good to be an idler, why don’t you report to Dali Temple! Why hang around here every day?”

“Why? Don’t you want to see me? Also, how am I idle?” Liu Zhongming looked tired and showed him the gray on his boots: “I’ve been busy.”

Bai Shiyan sneered and asked, “Is it over?”

He was an insider, and even knew the ins and outs of Qu Chenzhou. Liu Zhongming naturally didn’t hide it from him, or it should be said that Bai Shiyan used to be a layer of protection, but now he felt it was not necessary.

“Not yet.” Liu Zhongming was so tired in his chair. He looked up at the light cast from above his head: “We will almost see what’s going on at Qi Wang’s side. When I came out, I saw Liao Guangming being called to the palace.”

“Jinxiu Ying being sent to the gates?” Bai Shiyan was surprised: “It seems that the Emperor is very angry this time.”

“Who knows.”

Every time a few Wang Ye’s get into trouble, the Emperor’s temper does not seem to be small, but the result is nothing more than heavy thunder and light rain. The calamity is just like a gourd floating lightly in the waves.

“This time, both Huai Wang and Ning Wang have sunk and Qi Wang’s side is in the limelight. It is 80% true that only one Jiang Xingzhi can end it. What does Little Brother Qu say?

To Bai Shiyan, who was so busy that he was beaten black and blue, the matter was still a little far away. Although he was shocked when Liu Zhongming said it, what really convinced him of Qu Chenzhou was the movement regarding his younger brother.

Everything was as Qu Chenzhou said. Qi Wang’s people got the handle of Ren Rui and whether Ren Rui dragged out the others or not, it would be credit to Qi Wang.

The three of them should take turns to stand out and the Emperor will not spoil the scenery at this time.

“He…” Liu Zhongming smiled bitterly in his heart: “He didn’t say anything.”

“Still don’t like to talk? Isn’t he very good at speaking when he comes up with ideas?” Bai Shiyan glanced at him with a side eye: “Stupid Liu, how long have you kept the person in circles and you still don’t know how to be soft and hard?”

“You!” Liu Zhongming thought about the chaos in the room, and was particularly angry at this.

“Okay, okay,” Bai Shiyan patted his chest and volunteered: “You take him to my place. Don’t say I didn’t remind you, but Little Brother Qu is a treasure if you use him well. If he has a different heart, you need to be careful…”

He put his hand on his neck, bared his teeth and gestured: “If you really discover that there is a little trouble, you must remember to strike first.”

“What?”

“What? You didn’t see what happened to Pan He?

Speaking to this, Liu Zhongming remembered and asked: “How is Pan He now, is he still alive?”

“What else can be done, the people’s grievances are boiling. The Emperor can’t slap himself for the face of a eunuch. He said that he wants to clean up the top and bottom, but looking at it, 80% he means to kill Pan He, and then send someone down for a walk, and come back when the pot is full.”

“Maybe it’s not that bad, there has to be some people who are not greedy.”

“It is easy to offend people who are not greedy. Even if it is their turn, they will go down to offend people, it’s the same,” Bai Shiyan reminded, “You forgot Rong Jiuan that year?”

Of course Liu Zhongming remembered Rong Jiuan.

At that time, someone pointed it out to him – the one wearing the blue cloth was the famous criminal justice deputy of Dali Temple, Ling He, who was stinky and tough.

He had heard of Ling He’s name and he saw Ling He standing with another person from a distance watching the announcement.

The people on the street were busy running around, only those two people were like unmoving rocks in the river, then he asked a person—who is next to Linghe?

Someone went out to inquire, and came back after a while and said that it was a successful candidate who took the exam this year, whose name was Rong Jiuan.

That year, the champion and the second place were already decided by default, and they were not worth mentioning, but the new talent, Rong Jiuan, who received third was the one with outstanding literary talent and there was no one else comparable.

It’s a pity that this third place scholar was released after less than a year.

“Actually… entering officialdom is also good.” He muttered to himself.

But he also understood in his heart that he was still naive, thinking that he can make a big difference when he becomes an official.

Just look at his father, he only hopes that one day he will not be so disheartened.

“You also need to be vigilant.” Bai Shiyan didn’t know what he was thinking about for so long, so he poked him.

He came back to his senses, and for a moment forgot what topic they had just talked about: “Be alert?”

“How old are you, are you stupid? I said Little Brother Qu,” Bai Shiyan was shocked: “Look at Pan He, think about Du Quan again, he is a cold-hearted murderer, don’t be too careless.”

Liu Zhongming felt uncomfortable and didn’t speak.

“The more capable he is, the more uneasy I am. Have you discovered anything new during this time? Who is he?”

For the first half of the sentence, Liu Zhongming had seven points of agreement and three points of denial.

He’s capable?

It was true, but the flames burned so vigorously and violently that he felt that the flames would go out quickly in the next moment.

He should have noticed earlier that Qu Chenzhou was obviously overreacting to many people and many things, yet he still had a clear line between madness and rationality. That should not be done, nor can a normal person do it.

In fact, that calm was so fragile that it seemed like a hollowed-out eggshell; the will inside had long been shattered and was filled with hysteria.

Maybe Qu Chenzhou didn’t want to go on this path alone, but he didn’t have time to take care of him. He was just looking forward, taking one more step forward before burning himself to ashes.

He should have found out long ago.

“Shi Yan, I used to always want to know who he is, but now, I don’t think it matters who he is.”

“Why not.”

“Because… more important than ‘who he used to be’, I want to understand who he is now.”

Bai Shiyan was confused by this string of strange words, and after thinking for a long time, he wondered: “Who is he now… what does that mean?”

Liu Zhongming lifted his sleeves, there were scratches on his arms and his collar was pulled open, and the neck was bitten blue and purple.

Bai Shiyan stared in disbelief: “Zhongming…you, you didn’t force yourself on that person did you?”

“Nonsense!” Liu Zhongming uttered foul language and turned back to the topic just now.

“It means that if he can’t escape the memory of ‘Qu Chenzhou’ and the nightmares of his previous life, he may die real soon.”

Liu Zhongming led someone into the study, motioned the person to close the door, and pointed to the side chair: “Sit.”

The man didn’t dare to sit, he just stood not far from the desk and when he saw that he didn’t seem to be angry, he dared to whisper: “Lord Shizi, Little Brother Qu is young and ignorant, if he has offended you, you can scold and beat him, but can you…”

He only hated himself for being stupid and having a bad tongue. For many years, he could only beg people like this, but the shopkeeper in the past would never, because of his ask for mercy, show a little pity. So now he doesn’t even have the confidence to speak.

Liu Zhongming waved his hand to interrupt Steward Lin’s words.

“I have my own plans for him, you don’t have to worry. I called you here today to ask about his past.” 

Over the past few days, he has been carefully pondering one thing – Qu Chenzhou’s life experience compared with the experience of his previous life, which one was closer to the source of the collapse of the little fox.

After thinking about it again and again, and considering the little fox’s reaction in the past few days, he was sure that it was the former.

This is also understandable. No matter what happened in his previous life, it was the little fox who went through it step by step.

Since he didn’t go mad in his previous life, still stayed awake after being reborn, and could even advise him; this showed that the tenacity of the little fox’s will far exceeded that of ordinary people.

Although he lost his mind for a while when he saw Huai Wang and Liao Guangming, the little fox only took one night to return to normal.

The trials and tribulations that have been experienced have not crushed the person, and he will not be crushed now, at least not to the same extent.

And the situation and memory of being a slave for more than ten years is probably not something that a person living in the palace can easily bear. It’s like pushing someone out of the clouds and into a quagmire.

In particular, Qu Chenzhou was said to have escaped countless times, every time wanting to escape back home.

Home was Qu Chenzhou’s obsession engraved in his bones, so the little fox drowned Changshui Town cruelly to avoid future troubles. However, Qu Chenzhou can’t accept this reality.

One body, two souls, intertwined with each other; if one of them collapsed, the other cannot bear it.

The cause is Changshui Town.

Moreover, when he fell asleep with that person in his arms these days, he could always hear a few words murmured repeatedly. When he leaned over, he couldn’t hear it clearly, but it was as if he was saying- “This child has…”

A heart problem requires heart medicine. Even if he didn’t want to face it, he decided that he would set his hands on Qu Chenzhou’s past bitter experiences. 

Fortunately, Qu Chenzhou’s life experience was far easier to inquire about than the other.

“How old did you meet him?” Liu Zhongming asked while holding a pen. There might be many details that were of great importance and he was afraid that he would miss it, so he decided to write it down.

Steward Lin sensed his kindness and gradually relaxed.

“Replying to Shizi, since Little Brother Qu was sold to the building, it was me who took care of him. He was about three years old. I left for a while when I was going to the funeral for my mother. Later, I saw that Little Brother Qu had lost a lot of weight, so I came back again.”

Liu Zhongming’s heart tightened, and he suddenly understood the little fox’s emotions.

He was just an bystander, so he didn’t dare to think about the scene of that year, but the little fox had to go through it all. It could almost be said that he and Qu Chenzhou were one, no wonder…

“He… What was he like in the past?”

Steward Lin acted as if the words had been held in for too long of a time. His eyes were red, and once he spoke, he couldn’t stop.

“When Little Brother Qu first came, he only cried and refused to eat. In the end, he cried until his voice became hoarse. Then, suddenly one day he went silent.”

“Everybody thought that he had admitted defeat, so we didn’t expect this small child to have the idea of hiding in the water jars before dark, and then running out at night. In the end, he couldn’t even find the gate and was brought back.”

“Afterwards, the shopkeeper asked someone to beat him. He would get beat if he ran, if he cried, if he didn’t eat, then finally he stopped crying and didn’t talk to others. Some people said he was crazy at that time.”

“Actually, I know he is a good boy and will say a few more words to me. He was very sensible.”

Ten years have been too long, and he naturally did not remember many things clearly. All his ramblings were trivial things, and in these stories, the former Qu Chenzhou was not yet so silent.

He didn’t know what the Shizi wanted to know. He saw Liu Zhongming lightly pressing his forehead. He stopped a little nervously, and asked carefully, “What Shizi wants to hear…is this it…”

“It’s okay.”

Liu Zhongming was a little confused. Hearing Steward Lin talking about this, he couldn’t help but think more about it, but he also remembered the indifference of that person when he talked about the past.

Even if he had grown into a teenager, there was always that little child in this memory, happily waiting to go home with candy, but what awaited him was his fall from the clouds to purgatory in the blink of an eye.

Even if the person said that he couldn’t remember his family’s appearance, the reaction of not being able to eat sweets couldn’t fool anyone. His attempts one after another to return home couldn’t deceive anyone—there was always a desire to go home.

He was afraid that in addition to desire, there was even more irreconciliation.

Not willing to be abandoned.

“Go ahead and say whatever you want.”

Steward Lin responded and his heart resting in his stomach was more at ease.

He hadn’t been able to see the child the past few days and he heard that he was locked up in the east wing, guarded. Although he couldn’t go in to take a look, it could be seen that the daily soup, medicine and meals were delivered regularly, so he was not as worried as before.

“He was beautiful back then. Some people couldn’t help but spoil him, and some people hated him. Sometimes I couldn’t take care of him and he would come back with injuries.”

“I told him to stay away from those people and he told me that he did not get injured in vain, he saved a person. He is also a weird kid, I don’t know how he thinks.”

“I asked him to do less weird things, and he never told me about those things again.”

“After that, the shopkeeper put a sign on him for divination. I didn’t see anything special, but the shopkeeper was happy and if he can have a good life for a few days, I would be relieved.”

Liu Zhongming’s heart was gloomy. When the little fox helped stabilize things for himself, had he ever considered that Qu Chenzhou’s obsession with home would make him collapse.

Probably… After all, that person has always done things thoroughly.

He sighed and asked, “I heard that he ran away after he was listed, didn’t he?”

Speaking of this, Steward Lin was heartbroken: “Even if you run away, nothing will be changed. I once asked him this. Chenzhou, what did you want to do when you ran out? He said he wanted to go home and he dreamed that his mother was holding him.”

“When he cried, I cried too. I knew he was upset, so I persuaded him. I said that if you run like this again, your parents will be beaten to death before they see you, are you willing?”

“He was not reconciled,” Steward Lin suddenly pulled up his sleeves and wiped his eyes: “He said that if he didn’t go back, he would forget what his parents were called. I told him to call me first to try it out.”

“He called me Dad, I answered. He called out Mother, and I answered again. He recovered from his injury and he did not run again for more than half a year.”

“Later he asked me if I could tell his family that if he did something wrong, he would change. “

“How can I bear to tell him that his parents don’t want him anymore, so I just persuaded him that living well is more important than anything else. When his parents can support the children at home, they will definitely take him back.”

“I thought he was a smart boy, but I didn’t expect my words to completely stun him. I still regret it now. If I hadn’t spoken so much, he wouldn’t be what he is now.”

Liu Zhongming stopped his pen for a while. 

He faintly felt that the scar in Qu Chenzhou’s heart that he didn’t want to be opened was right in front of him.