PUBLISHED ON 18 July 2022

“I really like you.”

The memories from the past and the present were gradually overlapping together, Xin Yi randomly wiped off his tears, desperately mustering up the courage, and turned around.

He took a long breath in and smiled at Zhou MuHui.

“Xin Yi?”

Zhou MuHui saw that the corners of his eyes were red, and got stunned, “How come you’ve cried?”

Xin Yi shook his head, held the hand he stretched out, and called him softly, “Zhou MuHui…”

He was afraid he was being too obvious, Zhou MuHui furrowed his brows, hugged him to sit in his embrace, lowered his head, and approached him.

“I’m here.”

“Lately… I am being a coward, this isn’t good.”

“… Xiao Yi?”

Xin Yi pursed his lips, doing his best to hide his timidity, “I have something… very very important, that I cannot understand no matter what, but I am a bit afraid.”

“… Is it very serious?”

Xin Yi paused for a while, then looked at him very seriously, and nodded.

“Very serious.”

Zhou MuHui frowned, “Is it related to me…”

“Zhou MuHui.”

Xin Yi cut him off, “Can you wait for me?”

He carefully moved over, nestled up next to the man’s ear, and said with a hoarse voice, “Wait until I become a bit more courageous, I will come to ask you, is it ok?”

Xin Yi knew, he cannot always avoid it, no matter if Zhou MuHui wanted to leave, or wanted to divorce him, Xin Yi wanted the reason for it.

Because…

Xin Yi did not want to let him go, Xin Yi still wanted to be together with him.

“You still have to go to work tomorrow.” Xin Yi used that same position to pull him down, and nestle in his arms, “I will be waiting at home for you, I won’t go anywhere.”

He didn’t speak anymore, seemingly not willing to mention that serious matter, Zhou MuHui lowered his head to look at him, he thought about his anxious confession the other day, then thought about his serious expression just now, but in the end, he also didn’t speak, only hugging him closer, and made a sound in agreement.

“I will come back early.”

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When Xin Yi woke up, there was only a cat left at home, Qi Fang left a long note in the living room, saying that he will go first, Xin Yi picked up the note to take a look, then quietly took out his phone. 

Qi Fang was probably afraid that he couldn’t find him, below the note was also a  string of phone numbers written in small, Xin Yi added it, Qi Fang accepted it very quickly, and the first thing he left was a very long vocal message, Xin Yi clicked on it to listen to it, Qi Fang called him, “Little kid, you’re finally awake.”

Xin Yi slowly typed yes, sat on the sofa, and started to exchange texts with him.

The fan banners that were half signed last night also lay on the sofa, Xin Yi collected them in passing and paused.

“Brother Xiao Fang… Did you sign the fan banners last night?”

“Signed, but only signed half of them.” There was a lingering fear in Qi Fang’s voice, “Isn’t it because brother Zhou came after that, I saw his eyes and was scared to death, so I didn’t continue.”

Xin Yi poke the brand new one, the fan banner without any writing, counting them one by one, then asked him in a small voice, “Then did you take any?”

The other party sent him a questioning emoji over, and said with some doubt, “Which main lord would take their fan’s autograph, I left them all there, what’s wrong?”

Xin Yi dug the palm of his hands, looked at the stack of fan banners confused, and slowly shook his head, “nothing.”

His voice was very soft, carrying a soft and sticky tone of someone who’s not really awake, Qi Fang then sent another long vocal message, Xin Yi was listening to it and was also looking for the missing fan banners, and suddenly heard a familiar voice, hurriedly clicked on pause, typed to ask him, “Zhou MuHui is together with you.”

The other party didn’t answer for a long time, Xin Yi didn’t dare to move again, only hugging the fan banners and huddling on the sofa well-behaved, waiting for his reply.

“Fudge, scared me to death, I didn’t even know when brother Zhou came in!”

Qi Fang switched to typing, Xin Yi saw that on the screen that he was typing, was stunned, and couldn’t help but laugh.

“Don’t worry, I’ll put a word for you.”

The other party let out an ‘oh’, then laughed out loud. “That’s right, I have an accomplice!”

“Ai, not talking anymore, not talking anymore, I have to go to a meeting, little kid, I’ll come to find you to play after it ends!”

Xin Yi answered ok, and saw that his WeChat notification showed a ‘1’, and clicked on it again.

Zhou MuHui: Warm the food in the fridge, don’t eat snacks, and remember to eat the medicine.

Xin Yi didn’t reply to him, because Zhou MuHui was editing his next message, Xin Yi waited, then couldn’t help but ask him.

“What are you writing?”

“…Nothing.”

The other party replied very quickly, then added another sentence, “Don’t run around.”

“…….”

Xin Yi changed his position, sat on the sofa, and sent him a vocal message, “I won’t run around, I am very obedient, I am waiting for you at home.” 

He sent a kissing cat emoji over and pursed his lips into a smile.

Probably because he has shared some of the fear in his heart, Xin Yi seemed to let a sigh of relief, an ease that he cannot explain.

“Right, did you see the fan banners on the sofa last night?”

“…..”

Just as he spoke that sentence, a vocal message was sent at the same moment, but because Xin Yi got the time to click on it, Zhou MuHui withdrew it, then quickly replied with another sentence.

“No.”

Xin Yi was stunned, then sat up straight, and hastily asked him, “What did you just withdraw?”

Zhou MuHui replied very quickly as if evading something, “I’m going to the meeting.”

Xin Yi asked him again, but he didn’t reply again, the feature showing that someone was typing appeared and disappeared on the screen, but he didn’t get a new text for half a day, Xin Yi blinked, and looked at the phone in his hand with doubt.

“Hey!” 

Mao Mao who was on one side suddenly jumped on, burying himself in the nook of his neck and throwing him down, Xin Yi fell on the sofa due to the inertia, and caught the falling phone in a hurry. 

The phone’s screen was still on the original screen page, but after a while, another text appeared, Xin Yi looked distractedly at “I didn’t see them.” below Zhou MuHui’s profile photo, finally reacted, and tardily blinked.

At noon, he was even more well-behaved than usual, he warmed up the dishes in the fridge, even sent a photo to Zhou MuHui, but Zhou MuHui didn’t reply, Xin Yi thought that he was probably busy, so he carried the banners and went in the bedroom.

He walked very slowly, and was also a bit fidgety because he wanted to find back something, it was something Zhou MuHui left a long time ago.

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Or it could be said, the certificate that Zhou MuHui “had borrowed from him”.

But he couldn’t find it.

The box in which he and Zhou MuHui put their delicate items was turned over, Xin Yi’s fingers searched carefully along the inside and bottom of the cabinet, but he couldn’t find that piece of paper.

Xin Yi lowered his head in confusion, held the box, and sat on the ground, thinking, could it be that he threw it out?

Qi Fang said, Zhou MuHui only went into this industry because of his debt, Xin Yi was actually a bit confused because he never knew that Zhou MuHui owed someone money, but toward the one million1 he heard from Qi Fang’s mouth, he had a vague impression of it.

Because in Xin Yi’s memories…many years ago, he seemed to have given one million to Zhou MuHui. 

But that…

How could it be counted as a debt?

Zhou MuHui needed money, that was something Xin Yi noticed after that night.

He confessed to the man with difficulty, the man looked at him dumbfounded for half a day, then told him while frowning, “Don’t mess around.”

Xin Yi felt wronged, his body still hurt, but Zhou MuHui heard his confession and just wanted to leave, Xin Yi caught up, and said pitifully that he wasn’t messing around, as a result, the other party glared at him.

Zhou MuHui told him to get lost, but Xin Yi weirdly wasn’t afraid of him anymore, on the contrary, carried his backpack and followed behind him, and asked him where he was going.

Zhou MuHui’s mood was probably not good, because he totally ignored him, it was actually very late that day, but Xin Yi still didn’t leave, he wasn’t very clever, but he could sensibly feel that night was different from others, Xin Yi couldn’t leave, not when the man threw out such a big bomb.

Or else, he probably won’t be able to see Zhou MuHui anymore.

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And it proved to him that it was indeed like that, Zhou MuHui changed for another job, when Xin Yi was looking at him with anxiety in a corner, he was dragged out by Zhou MuHui.

“Go back.”

“… Not, not going back!”

Zhou MuHui furrowed his brows, and looked at him with a cold expression, “What do you exactly want to do?” 

Xin Yi’s face turned beet red, and expressed the confession from before one again with embarrassment. 

“Pursue you…”

Zhou MuHui’s expression was very ugly, Xin Yi couldn’t think of the reason, but he didn’t want to make Zhou MuHui unhappy, hence he slowly let go, letting go of the corners of the man’s clothes that he was secretly grabbing on.

“… Don’t be unhappy, then I’ll go back.”

Xin Yi whispered.

Zhou MuHui didn’t reply to him, thus Xin Yi turned around with disappointment, but he only took a few steps, then he suddenly turned his head around and pursed his lips at Zhou MuHui who was at the end of the alley.

“I am not messing around… I really do like you.”

Xin Yi didn’t know if Zhou MuHui heard him, but Zhou MuHui was still there when he came on the second day, Xin Yi carefully looked at him, when he confirmed that Zhou MuHui wasn’t going to drive him away, turned to look back repeatedly at every step at the cat which entered the alley.

That job of Zhou MuHui’s ended earlier than the previous one, Xin Yi hurriedly followed when he saw him walk out, he knew that Zhou MuHui had to go to another job, Zhou MuHui was very busy, from morning to night he had endless jobs, Xin Yi roughly knew that he needed money, but didn’t understand why.

After Xin Yi followed him for most of the month, Zhou MuHui changed his night job again, this time it was at a bar, Xin Yi just arrived at the door around eight o’clock, when he was stopped. The other party told him to show his identity card, Xin Yi didn’t dare to take it out, because he wasn’t eighteen yet.

“Little kid, this is not a place where you should come.”

Xin Yi pursed his lips and nodded, sneakily looking behind him, Zhou MuHui had already gone in for a while, Xin Yi couldn’t see him no matter how he looked, but Xin Yi couldn’t wait for too long, because he had yet to finish his homework.

“… This, can I go in?”

Xin Yi anxiously took out a stack of money, and whispered, “I’ll just go in for half an hour, is that ok?”

Xin Yi didn’t even get to stay for half an hour, that he got dragged out by Zhou MuHui, the man’s expression was very cold, Xin Yi put his hands behind his back anxiously, and whispered, “I didn’t want to follow you…”

Zhou MuHui didn’t speak, just irritably looking at him, with obvious implication.

Xin Yi was pricked by his stare, and only said after a while, “I wanted to say that… I am going to exams…” 

“Next week… I won’t be able to come.” 

Because he didn’t know when Zhou MuHui was going to be able to come out, and he was also afraid that the other party would be anxious if he suddenly disappeared, that’s why just like a fartknocker, he sneakily went in to find him, wanting to tell him.

I am leaving, you don’t have to worry.

“En.”

But the man only let out a hum, Xin Yi looked at him dumbfounded, then slowly nodded, and turned around disappointed. 

“Xin Yi.”

Zhou MuHui called his name for the first time, his voice was cold, but Xin Yi’s heart skipped a beat, hastily turned his head around, “I’m here!”

Zhou MuHui walked over, lowered his head looking weary, and said, “Don’t come again, I am very busy, don’t have time to play with you.”

“I’m not playing…” Xin Yi grabbed the straps of his backpack, and said anxiously, “Did I disturb you, then I…” 

“I don’t like men.”

Zhou MuHui cut him off, “Xin Yi, did you understand that?”

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