CH 29

It turned out that the money was really for him. 

Xin Yi was stunned, and didn’t return to his senses for a while. 

But Zhou MuHui was still talking, Xin Yi saw his mouth open and close, seeming to be saying a lot of things, but Xin Yi couldn’t hear any of it. 

His mind was only on that thin card, seeming to hold his mind captive, scalding to the point it made people tremble. 

It was really scalding, Xin Yi even felt that he was about to burn up, just like grass that has been stained with fire sparks, one roll was enough to burn it until his body was torn and bones were crushed.

“Xin Yi?”

Zhou MuHui approached him, propping his forehead against his, before, Xin Yi loved to stick to Zhou MuHui the most, but now Xin Yi was a bit afraid.

“Xiao Yi?”

His eyes were pinched by Zhou MuHui, Xin Yi hurriedly lifted his head, and this time he heard it, it was Zhou MuHui who was calling him.

“Ah…?”

Xin Yi blankly opened his mouth, he felt exhausted, and he didn’t even want to ask Zhou MuHui what he said, Xin Yi thought, he only wanted to hide and cry for a moment, not even wanting to see Zhou MuHui anymore.

He was feeling very sad, it was a sourness spreading from his palm, that small delicate card was about to defeat him, Xin Yi even felt that he was about to be out of breath, he obviously was only looking at Zhou MuHui, even his teeth were chattering. 

What was happening.

Xin Yi was thinking.

He was about to ask Zhou MuHui why, he almost had the courage to ask him about the divorce agreement, Xin Yi even made a rough preparation, it was completely different from what he had expected, just that Zhou MuHui said that he was going to be together with him.

That’s why Xin Yi… 

“Why are you spacing out?”

The warmth on his forehead retreated, Xin Yi saw him furrow his brows, Zhou MuHui’s expression was a bit strange, Xin Yi’s mind had turned into a paste, thus coming down to the conclusion that his expression was ugly.

“… Nothing.”

Xin Yi did his best to squeeze out these two words, then used force to retrieve his hand.

The hard surface made of plastic material grazed harshly against his palm, but Xin Yi didn’t cry out of pain, he only lowered his head blankly, looking at his curled-up hand, and at the fragment of blue color that showed between the gap of his fingers. 

“Tomorrow I have to go to B city, you be obedient and stay at home.”

Zhou MuHui also seemed to have something on his mind, Xin Yi could perceive the strangeness in his behavior.

Not very steady, even seeming to be a bit impatient, even his voice wasn’t as cold as usual. 

But Xin Yi didn’t dare to think about it, only nodded perfunctorily, and said, “Understood.”

There was a layer of fog in front of his eyes, the person he glanced at out of the corner of his eyes also became a lump of dark, Xin Yi almost lost his spirit, whispering at him, “You go take a shower first.”

Xin Yi didn’t dare to look at him, Xin Yi only wanted to stay alone for a moment.

But Zhou MuHui didn’t move, even holding his breath and leaning over.

“Xiao Yin, we are quits now, aren’t we?” 

In the beginning, Xin Yi’s fingers twitched, then became sore, then an astringent feeling came from the depths of his heart, in the end, his four limbs were hurting, Xin Yi did his best to contain his tears, he thought, it turned out Zhou MuHui was lying to him all this time, it only took one night.

He already wants to be quits with Xin Yi.

He wanted to shake his head, but his body didn’t listen to him, as if something invisible was pressing the back of his neck, Xin Yi seemed to have an out-of-body experience, watching the Xin Yi under him nod, clumsily and slowly nod.

Xin Yi wanted to stop him, he was shouting on one side, don’t nod, don’t agree to it, he felt that he was about to shout until his voice was broken, but Xin Yi couldn’t hear him.

How could he be so useless.

Xin Yi thought. 

Too useless, truly a coward.

Yet Zhou MuHui smiled, it was a relieved smile, he caressed Xin Yi’s head like usual, then stood up.

Xin Yi had a reset at this moment.

Zhou MuHui went into the bathroom, the frosted sliding door and the gap produced a light collision sound, Xin Yi opened his mouth with difficulty, his voice sounded like sharpened gravel, doing his best and struggling to speak.

“…Don’t want to.” 

He threw away that card, saying dully, “I don’t want that, I don’t want to be quits with you!”

His eyes rims turned red, big droplets of tears hung on his eyelashes but didn’t fall, the little kid was trembling from the tips of his fingers, then hurriedly got off the bed, then used force to break that bank card. 

The sharp edges scratched the back of his hand, but Xin Yi couldn’t care less, he was solely feeling aggrieved, and angry, angry that Zhou MuHui kept his words, angry that he wanted to part with him.

He even wanted to go to B city, Xin Yi thought while gripping that broken card, his new job was also in B city.

So does that mean that Zhou MuHui was going to leave tomorrow, that’s why he took him out to play today, and even stayed by his side at home for so long.

Xin Yi thought, it was actually like this.

He wasn’t going on a business trip, he just simply, simply wanted to leave Xin Yi. 

“I don’t like you anymore…”

Xin Yi said in a small voice, “Zhou MuHui, I don’t like you anymore.”

His tears fell in big droplets, dripping on the back of his hand that just got scratched, burning Xin Yi to the point he trembled.

He felt that it was as if he was about to die, and his throat was tightly clutched by someone, Xin Yi did his best to breathe, wanting to struggle, but couldn’t move no matter what, his tread of thoughts was broken because of the chaos, countless fragments squeezed in his body, fiercely chewing him into pieces, then mocked him in a loud voice.

Idiot.

Coward.

He is going to leave isn’t he, doesn’t want you anymore does he!

They were saying in a loud voice.

Xin Yi was covering his ears, curling up in front of the bathroom door, like an evil dragon guarding his treasure, but couldn’t help but cry sluggishly.

Zhou MuHui was stupefied when he came out, he hurriedly crouched down, wanting to hug his family’s little kid, but just when he stretched out a hand, Xin Yi pushed him away forcefully.

“Don’t want to be hugged by you!”

Xin Yi threw the handful of broken bits of the card at him, like a big-tempered bad child, fierce and crying violently, “I don’t want your hug!”

He was wearing the same pajamas as Zhou MuHui, it was Zhou MuHui who just helped him wear that, Xin Yi saw the clothes on his body, his teeth chattering, unknowingly turned angry, and forcefully pulled his jacket.

“Don’t allow you to wear that.”

He cried while saying it.

The kid sat on the ground curled into a ball, not knowing how the back of his hand was scratched with blood marks, Zhou MuHui’s face turned ugly in an instant, not caring about his refusal, unyieldingly hugged him.

“Don’t move!”

Zhou MuHui locked his arms, hugging him tightly in his arms.

Yet the little kid cried while kicking him, he never used that much force, abruptly struggled out from Zhou MuHui’s embrace, then crashed on the floor with a bang, Zhou MuHui was astonished, helped him up in a panic, but got fiercely bitten in the next second. 

The kid’s teeth were very sharp, and the strength he used to bite down was also very strong, when he retreated he even left a bloody tooth mark on the back of his hand, but Zhou MuHui didn’t care about that.

Xin Yi was crying too fiercely, even his body was trembling, he was blocking the door and not letting Zhou MuHui go outside, Zhou MuHui was stranded in the small space behind the frosted glass door, watching him with red eyes, with traces of mottled tears and opened hands, blocking in front of him.

The rotten red bloodstain was torn open during his struggle, winding down his wrist, mixed with the tears that, who knows when, the little kid has wiped on it, creating a big halo of red, Zhou MuHui’s heart was suffocated, shouting in a severe voice.

“Xin Yi!”

He didn’t know what was wrong with Xin Yi, and why was he crying, but Xin Yi was hurt, how could Zhou MuHui let him mess around.

Zhou MuHui’s voice was very frightening, Xin Yi got frightened, he looked up, and even his tears momentarily stopped. 

Zhou MuHui was very angry, his face was livid, Xin Yi’s sight slowly landed on the back of his hand, it was sunken and protruding unevenly, it was the print made by Xin Yi’s teeth. 

“I, I…”

Xin Yi was scared now, also unable to speak, his body’s instinct was to cower, pressing him to lower his hands, stop his tears, and better wipe his face clean like an obedient kid, then obediently hug Zhou MuHui, and apologize to Zhou MuHui.

Then muddle-headlessly reveal this matter.

But he couldn’t bring himself to do that…

Xin Yi tried many times, wanting to laugh, not wanting to cry, but he failed every time.

Because he didn’t want Zhou MuHui to leave, no matter if he is going to B city, or leaving Xin Yi. 

Xin Yi didn’t want any of it.

He broke free from Zhou MuHui, and before Zhou MuHui had the time to react, then rolled over, hiding under the quilt. 

He was just like a pitiful sad egg that nobody wanted, hiding in the dark to cry, he was anxious and frightened at the same time, because he was too stupid, not knowing how to deal with this chaos.

He didn’t want to be quits with Zhou MuHui, and didn’t want Zhou MuHui to be angry at him.

“… Xiao Yi.”

Zhou MuHui followed, Xin Yi could feel the mattress sink on one side, he let out a shiver, and moved back while sobbing to avoid it.

But Zhou MuHui hugged him. 

Pulling the person along with the quilt in his embrace, Zhou MuHui’s voice was hoarse, caressing his head through the quilt, asking, “Why are you crying?”

His voice was different from the cruel tone earlier, Xin Yi could hear the sound of his breathing, in that chaotic atmosphere, it was sensitive and heavy, so even if Xin Yi was crying, he could hear it all.

“Alright, alright, not crying anymore.”

Zhou MuHui coaxed him, clumsily kissing him through the quilt. 

But his not crying wasn’t useful at all, and Xin Yi didn’t feel his kiss at all, Xin Yi was scared soulless by his being quits, who would be afraid if their partner wanted to disentangle from their relationship, Xin Yi thought, he was bound to be frightened, he was originally (already) frightened.

He still remembers those things Qi Fang told him, he said that Zhou MuHui was doing his best to pay back his debt, so once he finished paying it back, it meant that he was going to leave.

Xin Yi’s tears couldn’t be stopped no matter what, the dampness blocked him, and the stickiness from the midsummer air tightly choked his throat. 

Zhou MuHui hardly felt this flustered, he didn’t why the time he took to just to take a shower, the kid became like this, but Xin Yi cried really too fiercely, his sobbing voice shocked Zhou MuHui, Zhou MuHui was burning with anxiety, but the little kid refused to speak.

“Xiao Yi…”

“I don’t want you to leave…”

Xi Yi gripped his hand with force, as if it was a weird tone that he forced out from the depth of his throat, forcing himself to speak.

Xin Yi thought, he was indeed very stupid, and also had little guts, just like what his family said, always being dull-witted in front of Zhou MuHui, letting him bully him, even if he was told off by Zhou MuHui, and only daring to purse his lips feeling wronged, saying a yes. 

Never really be angry at Zhou MuHui.

But Xin Yi didn’t want to say yes on this matter. 

He came out from under the quilt, with a face full of messy tears, looking at Zhou MuHui, forcing, and doing his best to contain his fear, saying.

“Zhou MuHui, don’t think about leaving.” 

You cannot take back your words, and not allowed to take back the love you gave out, Xin Yi decided to be unreasonable, and be a very very bad child.

Only this once.