CH 2.1

Li Chengxiu is actually surnamed Li.

Few people in the school knew this.

“Cheng” is his mother. Maybe because his teacher called him Cheng Xiu from the beginning, everyone thought his name was Cheng Xiu.

No one at school cares about Li Chengxiu’s surname or how his first name is spelt, even though everyone from junior high school to high school knows him.

Whenever the students mentioned him, they all used the nickname of his image that everyone recognized, “sissy”.

Everyone must have encountered such people in their school life.

Although they are all male from looks, certain actions, intonations, and ways of being in the world make people feel feminine.

Li Chengxiu is such a person, whether it is the action, tone of voice, or the way he deals with people, is very unmanly.

Li Chengxiu actually does not look ugly, with fair skin, well-defined eyebrows, clear contours, and good grades. If he doesn’t give off that kind of feeling, he would definitely be liked by girls.

Even if he is a sissy, as long as the other person is open-minded, cheerful and doesn’t care about his first impression that makes people uncomfortable, most people will accept him after getting along.

But because of his unbearable smell, he makes others uncomfortable. It’s either the strong smell of wine or the greasy smell of food in the kitchen, or a mixture of the two. He hadn’t changed his clothes several times throughout the semester, and even the old teacher with excellent concentration and cultivation couldn’t help frowning and detouring when he met him.

He is always gloomy when he talks to people. This thirteen or fourteen-year-old half-elder is thinner than a girl, and he walks slowly with his head hung down. He has a weak and frustrated look, which makes people upset to look at.

It is said that he was not so bad in the beginning. Although his family was not well-off and he is so thin, he still dressed clean and did not look like he was malnourished. Later, it is said that his father ran away with other women and took away all the money except for a broken house. His mother drank every day and didn’t care about him.

He was able to attend the best key middle school in the city because of his own hard work. He is said to be one of the few people admitted to this school in their county, so the county gave him money. Otherwise, how can he get into a school like this where the children of high-ranking officials or wealthy businessmen study.

His life experience is not a secret at school. It is all about the conversation after class. Sometimes there are so few who sympathize with him. Whenever they see him, they all shake their heads and sigh.

He is a person with his head hung low. He does not argue. Even if he is ridiculed till his face is flushed, he will not say a word. Even if he is pushed and shoved, he will only tremble and walk away with his shoulders bowed and his head hung low. Him being so weak and easy to bully let the spoiled children vent their youthful arrogance and stubbornness on him.

When the class is over, Li Chengxiu is always the first to rush out of the classroom.

Generally, no one would stop him, because as long as anyone sees him, they will exaggeratingly pinch their noses and automatically back off several steps.

He has become accustomed to this kind of treatment and contempt, and his young self-esteem is beaten to pieces even before it can take shape, and then gradually became numb.

Since his dad left, the trajectory of his life for the past three years, if depicted as a diagram, will be a triangle.

Home, restaurant, school.

For every distance between two places, he has to take a bus for almost an hour.

The bus ride is the most relaxing time of his day when he can just sit and not work, and it’s when he thinks a lot.

The family’s forty-five square meter house was the only property he and his mother had. The rest of his expenses were earned by working in a restaurant owned by a distant relative’s family with all the time he had except for classes and studies, so he could barely maintain the minimum living security.

Now it’s more difficult than before.

In the past, when his mother was awake, she would sell vegetables, so she could get some money back every day. But with alcoholism all year round, her body is over long ago, and the time when she is sober becomes less and less. When she is drunk, throwing things and beating people is common. There are no electrical appliances in the house except the light bulbs, and they are all broken by her and there is no money to buy them, which saves electricity. The only good thing is that now he has grown up, so does less of cleaning the dishes and floor. After following the master for a few years, he now cooks a few dishes, so his salary is higher than before.

That’s how his life is maintained.

At that time, the only way he had to comfort himself was to fantasize about his future.

He wanted him to study hard, and the county promised to provide him with money if he could get into a provincial key high school. Go to a key high school and work hard, then he can go to a good university, and can find a good job after graduation. It is best to be in a strange city where no one knows him, he can start a new life, and his life will change from then on.

When he got home in the evening, it was already past ten o’clock.

Many neighbours in the neighbourhood had their lights off. He walked along the wall to his house, and when he touched the doorknob, the door was not closed.

This has happened several times, and there is nothing worth stealing in his house anyway.

As soon as he entered the door, he stepped on something and slid out a big step. Fortunately, he stabilized using the door frame, or he might have fallen on the ground. Looking at it in the moonlight, it was another translucent plastic bag of the kind that was dripping with a lot of liquid.

This is the wine that his mother drank often.

He remembers that when he was in chemistry class, the teacher said that a lot of such cheap bagged wine contain industrial alcohol. He went home and told his mother, then he was slapped a few times for no reason, and never dared to mention it again.

He touched the wall to find the cord of the electric light, and the moment the room was lit, he heard a vague curse.

With a sigh, he walked over to help the middle-aged woman who was drunk on the ground again, to bed and covered her with a quilt. It was strenuous.

His mom was okay with him when he was sober, what he felt was okay was almost treating him like air, but at least she wouldn’t scold and would cook for him.

It’s a pity that she is less and less sober now and her mouth kept muttering discontent and resentment, which he had long been accustomed to hearing.

After taking care of his mother, he began to clean up the mess.

His former home was always very clean. His mother was actually a capable woman, and she had a good face. She would kneel on the ground and wipe the floor if she saw anything unpleasant, so he followed her good hygiene habits.

He didn’t want to go to school with a bad smell every day, but the water fee was too expensive, and he couldn’t wash it every day. There were only two or three clothes that he could wear. They were all sent by the people in the restaurant, daily washing and changing is not good.

At first, the eyes of the classmates and teachers around really stabbed him, and then he became numb. He just thinks that if he makes money in the future, he can clean himself up and make friends. Now… It would be nice to be able to eat and wear clothes.

Li Chengxiu’s only hope is his future. The driving force that can support his rest time, which adds up to less than five hours, is still the future. He thinks about his efforts, his desperation and believes that he will have a bright and beautiful future.

Just as everyone in this school knows Li Chengxiu, Li Chengxiu also knows Shao Qun like everyone in this school.

Although they are worlds apart.

Because of the long-term ridicule and indifference, Li Chengxiu seldom looks up at the people and things around him. There are very few people in school whose faces he can remember.

But this person, Shao Qun, is obviously different.

He is just too dazzling.

He is elegant, arrogant and beautiful and is always surrounded by an aura that people can not ignore.

Li Chengxiu is not interested in anything other than studying and making money. From the beginning of school, he’s been watching a young master who got out of a black car, wearing a school uniform with a straight suit and had impeccable facial features. His face is as tender and white as milk, obviously older than him, but his arrogance and dominance, somehow he can’t forget it all at once.

At that time, the innocent youngster realized that he was different from the boys that were of the same age. Although he was originally different, but having these secret thoughts made him really, really different.

Although no one would initiate a conversation with him, when he usually sat quietly in the classroom, he could hear clearly when the boys in the class would gather to discuss which girl was pretty and which girl had big breasts. But strangely, he wasn’t interested, he prefers to watch boys pushing and shoving on the basketball court rather than delicate and pretty girls, the sweat and youth splashed in the sun, the messy hair, the rich facial expressions, the quick movements and cool-looking body language, all of which he found worth watching. But he didn’t dare look more than a glance.

As he gets older, he felt something different.

But at that time he was an innocent and silly boy and wasn’t sure what was different about himself.

For this, Shao Qun gave him the answer.

The sun at noon was as malicious as if it was going to steam people dry, even if you stand still, you would sweat in a short while.

The school at noon was very quiet and empty. Many students were picked up by cars sent by their families at noon. Those who did not go home, rent a house nearby for the lunch break. Only his home was too far and renting a house was too expensive, so he had to stay at school at noon.

Originally, the school wouldn’t allow him, but everyone knows his situation. Because he always ranks among the best in his grades and is the key top student at school, the school also turned a blind eye to it. But he can’t stay in the classroom, otherwise, you won’t be able to tell what you have lost.

He usually goes to the roof of his school building. It is not easy for the school police to find him there. Although the school police have reached a consensus on his affairs, if they see him, they still have to shoo him away. The rooftop is safe and well-lit, he can rest and also study at times.

In his barren life, he thought that having a space just for himself was enough to make him happy.

That day, as usual, he sat in the shadow of the huge water tank and took a nap.

In the rare tranquillity of the campus, sitting in the shade, a cool breeze blowing through, closing his eyes, and resting is the most pleasant time of Li Chengxiu’s day. He can temporarily forget a lot of things that bother him and concentrate on enjoying his peaceful and comfortable time.

“What are you doing here?”

Suddenly, a clear voice rang overhead, startling Li Chengxiu. The moment he opened his eyes, he couldn’t adapt to the bright sunlight and felt dizzy. A golden afterimage appeared in his momentarily closed eyes. The outline of the person’s entire body was gilded with a dazzling golden light by the sun. He has a white face, gleaming black hair, and bright eyes.

When he opened his eyes again, the boy was still looking at him condescendingly.

Li Chengxiu felt his face burn all of a sudden, and in an instant, the heat blazed up to the top of his head, and he knew his face must be red.

The young man standing calmly and idly was obviously surprised by his sudden red face and helpless spirit. He raised one eyebrow and looked at him suspiciously.

“I ……” Li Chengxiu scrambled up from the ground, patted the clothes behind him, looked at him a little nervously and gulped, “You……Hello.”

One can’t blame him for being so nervous, it’s just that it’s been a long time since anyone has taken the initiative to talk to him, and someone so good looking and famous at school.

He remembered the scene when he first saw Shao Qun, who looked like a noble and elegant prince at that time. Only later did he realise that apart from that deceptive skin, Shao Qun was in fact an uncompromising hooligan who was involved in fighting, assaulting, gathering crowds, making trouble and bullying teachers and classmates.

The moment he stood up, Shao Qun took a step back, frowning at his wrinkled, grease-stained clothes, his eyes showing the slightest hint of undisguised disgust.

Li Chengxiu had a moment of loss at the sight of that familiar expression but immediately regained his composure. After all, it was a familiar reaction to him and he knew how to react to it familiarly, silence would be the right thing to do. Preferring to be silent in the face of others’ disgust is right as everyone will stop caring about him.

Li Chengxiu lowered his head and slowly turned his body sideways, looking at a square brick in front of him.

“Hey, I’m asking you, what are you doing here?” Young master Shao Qun was very dissatisfied with the others’ ignorance.

“Lunch break.”.

Shao Qun didn’t hear his mosquito-like voice at all, he leaned down a little “What?”

Li Chengxiu lifted his head to look at him, “Lunch break.” After saying that and being a little dazed, a thin voice in his heart said, how could someone look so good? The long eyelashes flickered and flickered, making his heart flutter.

“Isn’t it forbidden to stay in school at noon? Who told you to be here.”

Li Chengxiu couldn’t answer for a while, and said: “You…you are also not here…”

“Are you the same as me?” Shao Qun His tone was full of disdain. He was so bored at the thought of playing hide-and-seek in this school building. He thought he could find a place to take a nap and didn’t expect it to be taken up early by this disgusting sissy.

Li Chengxiu bit his lip and lowered his head.

“Take your things and get out immediately. The air around you stinks.”

Li Chengxiu stuffed the book into his school bag, grabbed them with one hand, got up from the ground, and ran for the door without looking back.

“Wait! Come back!”

Li Chengxiu stopped obediently, turned around and lowered his head.

Shao Qun thought about the fact that there were still people looking for him downstairs, if this sissy went down like this his cover would be blown. Although he doesn’t care about this game, he hates losing.

“You stay here, you can’t go until I go.”

Li Chengxiu didn’t want to stay with him, but he thought about the group of people led by Shao Qun, who would beat people if they were not pleasing to the eye, the whole trick is endless. In school, he(SQ) has always been unscrupulous in school to do whatever he wants, but he(LC) just wanted to graduate safely and didn’t dare to offend him.

So he took his book bag and tried to move back into the shadows cautiously.

“Stand there and don’t move! Who the hell asked you to come here, want to anger Laozi to death ah!” The white and slender boy sat on the ground in a prosperous manner, vomiting a vulgar curse that was inconsistent with his beautiful appearance, squinting at Li Chengxiu.

He thought it would be good to have him as a company to pass the boring time at noon. In the past, when he came across this sissy, he used to go around and found him too dirty to even bully him.

Li Chengxiu could only stand there helplessly, looking at him in a daze.

“Yes, you just stand there, let the sun kill all the germs and sterilize you, you are about to get mouldy, right?”

Li Chengxiu stood there blankly, holding the hand of the schoolbag strap so tight that it hurt. Within a few minutes, the sweat on his body was dripping down like a stream, which is not an exaggeration. Standing under the big sun at noon of more than 30 degrees, even adults can’t bear it, let alone a child who has been malnourished for a long time.

Shao Qun wanted to squint for a while, but as he got used to the air-conditioned room, he felt it was too hot here. Closing his eyes, the hot air made him feel uneasy, so he opened his eyes, looking evilly at the person standing under the sun.

“Hey, come here a bit and stand here.” Shao Qun pointed to the ground in front of him.

After standing for nearly half an hour, Li Chengxiu was already dizzy from the sun, and his throat was so dry that even swallowing his saliva hurt. As soon as he heard his(SQ) voice. He was like an amnesty, he quickly moved to the shade of the water tank and wiped the sweat on his head and face with his arm.

Shao Qun stood up from the ground, circled him twice, and finally stopped in front of him.

Li Chengxiu looked up at him nervously. Shao Qun’s development is obviously much better than his(LC). Although he is two years older than him, he’s a head taller than him.

Shao Qun pointed at him unceremoniously: “Why are you acting like a woman being a guy? Is your underneath grown yet?” He wasn’t sure what to expect when the bottom was all grown up, it was just that they hooligans always ask about each other’s p**** and laugh at each other’s lack of hair, even though none of them was full-grown.

Li Chengxiu’s face flushed.

He didn’t need to be reminded again and again that he was very unmanly. That’s what everyone around him was telling him. He didn’t know why he was like this. Maybe it was because he always played with girls? Because if he played with boys, he would get his clothes dirty and torn and his mother hated it when he went home dirty, and would definitely suffer when he went home. Also, the boys are too rough to play and look scary, so he likes to play with the gentle girls, and over time, he often mixes with girls.

As he grew up, the distinction between men and women became clearer. When he has realized that he is not like a man, he has deliberately regulated his words and actions, trying to make himself less unusual. But there was something in his bones that seemed to bubble up unconsciously no matter how much he tried to hide it, and now he found that the safer course was to do nothing. As long as he didn’t talk and didn’t make any unnecessary movements, he felt he could look normal.

“Why do you act like a rag-picker all day long and deliberately disgust people?”

Li Chengxiu pursed his lips and said nothing.

Shao Qun kicked him: “Dumb.”

Li Chengxiu didn’t stand firm and was kicked to the ground by Shao Qun. Although he tried his best to endure it, he was still a child after all and couldn’t help but look up at him with some indignation when treated like this.

“You fucking bitch you fell suddenly.” Shao Qun squatted down, “Hey, what kind of look are you giving me? Are you not convinced? Do you know who the boss of our school is? Huh?” Shao Qun was a little proud when he said ‘boss’. He had just started his third year of school and was besieged by his seniors at the beginning because he was too aggressive. As a result, he kept the other party out of sight for several weeks. It caused the entire school to jump around, and the influence of his family was not to be overlooked, and none of the teachers dared to offend him. In just a few months, he has become so dominant that no one dared to provoke him. To a boy in the middle of his adolescence, this so-called intimidation and “status” was something to boast about.

Shao Qun is a boy who has been spoiled by his family to the point of lawlessness. He likes everyone’s submissive attitude towards him, and he is happy to attack those who are not very submissive at first. But that doesn’t mean that a very submissive man doesn’t want to have a little fun, like this sissy in front of him.

When Li Chengxiu was reminded about the evil deeds of the gangster at school, he hurriedly lowered his eyes and said pleadingly: “It’s you.”

“Good that you know.” Shao Qun raised his chin proudly.

Shao Qun looked at Li Chengxiu, who was sitting on his knees with pursed lips and legs. It didn’t look pleasant, you say, how could he look like a girl even in a sitting posture? It’s really disgusting.

This kind of Li Chengxiu, in his eyes, was asking for a beating. He couldn’t help but slap him.

Li Chengxiu stared at him blankly, his eyes tinged red, but he didn’t dare to make a sound.

Shao Qun watched a tender red appear on his(LC) white cheeks, together with the red circles under his eyes, just like the rabbit he used to toss and play with, which made him feel particularly amused.

He couldn’t help pinching his(LC) cheek with his fingers. Mmm, it was creamy, and it felt so good to the touch. Not to mention that this person not only acts and behaves like a girl, his name is also girly, and he looks like a woman.

Li Chengxiu’s cheeks were sore from the pinching. He felt as if he was being watched by a wolf. He couldn’t help but worry that he could end his junior high school career with three months left.

Shao Qun looked at him like he didn’t dare to give a shit and felt bored again. There was still an hour or so before the school would start to fill up. How long did he have to stay in this damn place?

The only thing that can relieve his boredom is this sissy. His wimpish sissy look was so disgusting to look at that it annoyed him(SQ), and when he felt annoyed, he wanted to toss this sissy out.

Shao Qun adjusted himself into a comfortable sitting posture: “Hey, I heard that your father dumped you and your mother and ran away with a vixen. Is it true?”

Li Chengxiu looked up in surprise, not expecting this man to reveal his scars so directly, and in a tone of voice as if he had found something new. He froze and his eyes began to flush red again.

Shao Qun was enthused: “Your father really ran away with someone, didn’t he? I also heard that your mother is an alcoholic? She doesn’t care about you. Look at you, you’re so dirty all day, aren’t you embarrassed to come out?”

Li Chengxiu’s red eyes were filled with anger and sadness that he dared not vent. He stared at Shao Qun, his eyes blurring as he stared, his heart aching beyond words. The wound in his heart was being treated like a joke, he could not help but be angry and sad, but he did not even have the courage to express his anger, which made him even more aggrieved and sad.

“Cry, cry, cry, do you know anything else besides crying, are you a fucking man?” Shao Qun pushed his head several times rudely, freaking out at his wimpy look.

Li Chengxiu’s eyes filled with tears, but he did not dare to make a sound, lowering his head and staring blankly at the ground, wiping his eyes desperately with his hands on one side.

Shao Qun opened his mouth and wanted to say something when the iron door on the top floor was suddenly slammed vigorously against the wall with a loud noise, and both men were startled and looked back.

Several teenagers appeared at the door and saw Shao Qun at a glance, “Haha, finally I found you, you really know how to hide.”

Shao Qun pouted disdainfully: “It took you so long to find, I’m the last one, right?”

“Yeah, in the end, it was all of us together who helped him, hey……who is this?” One of them looked at Shao Qun and at the child curled up on the ground and weeping in surprise.

Li Chengxiu also stared blankly at the people who came in. He knew these people, they hung out with Shao Qun all day long, but he didn’t know their names.

“Hey, isn’t this that, sissy? Shao Qun, what are you doing with him, aren’t you afraid of contagion?”

The words made a burst of laughter.

“I ran into him when I came to hide, it’s not like I can go down.”

“Yo yo yo, look at you, you made someone’s girl cry, hahaha.” A tall, thin boy with brownish-red dyed hair walked up to Li Chengxiu and leaned over slightly to look at him.

Li Chengxiu buried his whole head in his knees like an ostrich, panicking so much that he didn’t dare to breathe. These people were the school’s famous hooligans, and the fact that he was alone with a group of them scared him so much that his heart began to beat wildly.

“Hey, what are you hiding from? Show me, haha, you even cried? Shao Qun, how did you bully him? Don’t you know his father doesn’t care about his mother and him, a beggar? Why are you still bullying him?” That said, everyone around them was in the mood for a good show.

“I’m bored, I’m hiding here and have nothing to do, so I’m letting him pass the time with me. Who knew he was such a crybaby? He’s just like a girl. It’s disgusting.”

“Just like the rumours, huh.” The redhead grabbed Li Chengxiu’s hair and tried to yank his face out. Li Chengxiu’s scalp hurt so much that he was forced to raise his head.

His tear-stained and reddened face provoked another round of jeers.

The person next to him(LC), imitating a woman’s voice, cried out strangely: “Oh, you don’t think it is dirty. Don’t you know that he never changes clothes or takes a bath? You are not afraid of getting sick.”

The red hair withdrew his hand exaggeratedly as if it had been scalded and kicked Li Chengxiu in disgust: “Damn it, if you really infect me with whatever worms you have, I’ll throw you into the river, to feed the fish.”

Shao Qun looked impatiently at the group of people surrounding Li Chengxiu, like if they had discovered a new world: “Have you had enough, I want to have something to drink, it’s hot here, let’s go, this bitch is too disgusting, why are you surrounding him?”

The group had cleared out in a moment, and the top floor, which had been noisy a second before, immediately became as cold and clear as the countless midday hours he had spent here.

Li Chengxiu stroked the painful scalp with trembling fingers. Then, he pressed his head and buried it in his knees, his shoulders heaving up and down uncontrollably, before letting out a small sob.

The redhead shook the water from his hands, “I’ve washed them several times, and I don’t know if they’re clean.”

“Come on, Da Li, don’t pretend to be clean here.”

“Hey, it’s better to wash it a few more times, I’m afraid his vigour will also be contagious.” Next to him, Li Wenxun held up the glasses on the bridge of his nose and spoke.

“What do you mean, the sissy is contagious too?”

He smiled somewhat mysteriously, “You guys don’t know, do you? People like them, I heard they are all……” he deliberately stretched his voice and looked at several people with a smirk.

Shao Qun frowned impatiently and took a large gulp of Coke: “Say what you heard, don’t whet people’s appetite.”

“I heard they are all Gay.”

“Gay?” The three men said in unison