Vol. 3 Chap. 86 Maximizing Shareholder Value

Vol. 3 Chap. 86 Maximizing Shareholder Value

“I don’t know what I did to you-”

“But I bet you can guess.” Truth grinned, and smashed the heel of the shoe down on the CEO’s toes. He was pretty sure he broke three of them. Daragah curled into a ball, grabbing his foot and making a high pitched keening noise.

“This probably seems incredibly unfair. I mean, you didn’t force anyone to do anything, right? You are just out here, making opportunities for people to live their best lives. Financial independence for people who would otherwise live hand to mouth.”

Truth squatted down next to Daragah. The CEO was hyperventilating but wisely keeping his mouth shut. No panic buttons, Truth noticed, nor any particular defensive spells in place. Strange. He would have figured this guy would live in terror. Truth certainly would be a lot more concerned about vengeful “brand ambassadors” coming for their promised happily ever after.

“Must say I am impressed. Here you are, helpless, knowing that your remaining minutes will be filled with torture and humiliation, and you are managing to keep more or less quiet. Didn’t see it going that way.”

Daragah opened his mouth, gasping, then his teeth snapped shut again. Truth narrowed his eyes. He reached down and grabbed a pinky finger. Daragah looked at him in horror. Begging with his eyes. Truth snapped it ninety degrees up, then another ninety degrees clockwise. Daragah started silently crying. Even the keening noise had stopped.

“GOD DAMN IT! FUCKING MEGASHROOM!” Truth stood, swearing. “I should have FUCKING KNOWN!” He gave “Daragah” a casual kick in the ass. “My whole goddamn life, right up until I left home, was poisoned by you fucks. And lots of others just like you, of course, but COME ON. CEO of Megashroom AND you were the former CFO of XextraTee? I could spend a year torturing you, and never regret a second of it.” He sighed. “Torturing “you.” Damn it all. Who are you exactly? Or are you geased?”

“Daragah” went very still, then started seizing, his eyes weeping blood. Truth swore and cast Cup and Knife. The spell seemed to slide around the man, like it was trying to find the right way in, and how to send the harm “back.” Truth felt his own energy reserves dropping fast. Whatever had been done to him, it wasn’t something simple.

Truth frowned, pushing on the spell. “Daragah” had been set up as the fall guy. He might not be a good person, but whatever was killing him wasn’t “right”. The spell finally seemed to agree, but Truth could feel the boiling ball of curse-energy floating around. Like ball lightning, looking for a ground.

Truth sent it into the sign hanging on the side of the building. Seemed appropriate.

“Daragah” sat up with an explosive gasp, grabbing his feet, his fingers, touching his face and mouth. “Oh God! Oh God, I’m free!”

“Great. Super. Yaay.” Truth sat on the desk with a thud..

>

Why do you care?

>

Are you one hundred percent sure you aren’t a demon?

>

These days, not as much as I once was. Truth sighed.

“Alright, so... talk. Who are you and what’s going on here?”

“Daragah” jolted. “Oh God!” He started scrambling back. Truth picked up a pen from the desk and threw it hard enough to pierce through the carpet and lodge into the floor. The fangs had flashed out silently and invisibly. Truth smiled grimly at the cowering man. And waited.

“I’m. My name. Is Anthony Wrenn. I’m not the person you are looking for. I’m not Daragah Kolch.”

“I can see that. Your existence is very disappointing. Justify it. Explain why you are here, and not him.”

“Explain that.”

“It’s how companies work. You have this artificial person, the Corporation. The corporation has one job- make the shareholders money. The shareholders are only at risk to the extent they have invested. That is, they can never lose more than they have put in. No matter what debts the company runs up, the worst that can happen to a shareholder is that their investment gets wiped out. They can’t be personally liable for the debt. Same with crimes. A corporation could kill a million people, and the shareholders wouldn’t be responsible at all. Legally.”

“Okay?” Truth asked, thinking that it wasn’t really okay.

“Everybody agrees this fake person exists. They can hire people, pay taxes, enter contracts, conduct litigation, they can do almost everything a normal human being can do. All without a body to kick or a soul to damn. But that’s human law. What about God, and God’s law? There isn’t word one in any holy script about corporations.”

“Still not really seeing where this is going?”

“An artificial person, created by the shareholders but its mind, its driving spirit, is the company officers. Most particularly the CEO. Literally the Chief Executive Officer. Most responsible person for doing things.”

“Ah. They found a way to pin moral responsibility on you and your predecessors?” Truth asked.

“Yes. They think they found a way to fool God. The CEO is changed every year. The top performer becomes the next CEO. They are anointed with oil, elevated and confirmed in their role by the invisible entity that is Corporation.”

Tony grabbed his knees again, rocking back and forth this time. “The other officers and the Board all eat the old king, absorbing some of the sin, but it’s really about turning the king into a sacrifice. Then the new CEO, a person who has definitionally sacrificed others for their own gain, is forced into their role. Daragah Kolch. Asshole extraordinaire.”

“Why keep the same identity going? An artificial person to absorb the real sins of the company. Which is an artificial person.” Truth asked.

“Something like that. I think there probably was a real Daragah Kolch at some point. Maybe things are different at XextraTee.”

Truth stared blankly out the window for a minute. There wasn’t much to see. Just a big, multistory parking lot. Pretty generic office too, now that he was looking at it. Plenty of “I’m So Great” pictures, awards from trade groups, that kind of thing, but all the furniture looked catalog standard. Bland. There was less here than it seemed. Then he frowned.

“Wait, you said the board of directors is in on this? Aren’t they shareholders too?” Truth vaguely remembered hearing something about that.

“Yes, all of them. Some of them own more than ten percent of the company, which, as you can imagine, is huge.”

“So the whole process is pointless. Self defeating.” Truth threw up his hands.

“Sin eaters.”

“The Praegerite Priests?”

“Yes.” Tony nodded. “The board members are very prosperous, and therefore favored by God. It is quite cheap, comparatively, for them to have their sins absolved.”

Truth nodded. “I see. It’s almost beautiful. A perfect complement to the sales structure. In addition to bearing the cost of buying inventory, developing marketing channels and sweat equity, the employees also bear the cost of the shareholder’s moral decisions. And since this is Jeon and the Church of Praeger is what it is, all that accumulated blood money makes it easier to wash away sin, not harder. It truly is beautiful.”

“I don’t know what they will do now that you broke the spell. It wouldn’t surprise me if they had lawyers or hitmen on the way. Either one would be in character.”

Truth nodded at that. “Oh, I’m going to do what I originally came here to do. I’m going to have you replaced with a stunt double. Yeah, MegaShroom is getting into an exciting new line of work. There may be some short-term downside pressure on earnings, but the long term benefits to me may be substantial.”

“What?” Tony looked bewildered.

“Yes, MegaShroom is going to spread rebellion. Insurrection. Anger at the choking grasp of Starbrite on the world. Some of you may die. All of you may die. But that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.”