Chapter 109 INTERLUDE 8: FROM PAST TO PRESENT

[A FEW YEARS LATER]

Number 26, or rather Milia bathed under the moonlight with an incredibly sad expression.

Currently, in a clearing, she was surrounded by five people. Four men and one woman. All of them were wearing black tight-fitting clothes.

The atmosphere was incredibly quiet and heavily filled with repressed killing intent.

"Please, I beg you guys. Please give up. Just stop. We can still go back."

Sorrow filled her voice as she pleaded once again. She knew that once they began, there would be no holding back.

Even though she was stronger than them, it was impossible to win against all of them if she held back even in the slightest.

"Milia, you must understand. Those experiments are the next step to evolution. You should know yourself. The cow race is one of the weakest of the were beasts without any particular magic. But right now, you completely surpassed the limitations of your race. Do you understand just how incredible it is?"

She looked with disbelief at the man with raccoon ears who tried to explain their crazy ideas.

How could they forget all of the friends they lost and utter the same words those who once kidnapped them always uttered?

"Big Sis, it is you who don't understand. You cannot understand our feelings. We all went through the same sufferings. We all survived the same ordeals. So why? Why are you the only one?!"

The one who spoke this time was a tall tiger woman. She was also a girl she really liked and took under her wing back then.

Most of the children kidnapped for the experiments had been Werebeasts and Humans with a few Elves and Dwarves.

Demons and Angels hadn't been used because they were partially energy beings and as such unsuitable. Meanwhile, it was basically impossible to find a Chimera.

Milia felt her heart sink at those words from someone she always saw as her little sister, "Is that really what you think?"

She trailed her gaze on all of them before settling on one muscular man with two horns on his head.

"What about you guys? Do you all think the same?"

Seeing her husband as well as the others unable to look at her straight, a bitter feeling spread through her while she did her best to stop the tears that were threatening to spill.

How could they not understand that the experiments they suffered from weren't even one-tenth of what she went through?

To protect them, she didn't hesitate to take the biggest punishment.

To help them, she didn't hesitate to propose herself for the most dangerous experiments.

To save the maximum number of her friends, she took many more times the doses any of them should have taken.

Even after the experiment ended, she took on the most dangerous task just to lower the risk of them dying.

In the end, she upstaged the rebellion against the Crown's Hound by killing all the old leaders and, with the help of Mars, established the Crown's Shadow and the Three Divisions.

Even though her story was worthy of a legend, neither she ever unfolded her pains nor her sufferings.

She had nobody to confide in - not even her own husband could ease her suffering.

Despite this, her desire for them to live surpassed her desire to die; as such, she held on.

No matter how much she hurt, she held on.

No matter how great the danger was, she held on.

No matter how much she just wanted to lie down and close her eyes forever, she held on.

She never asked for a word of thanks, never asked for any rewards. Because in her mind, them being alive and well was a reward in itself.

'And all that for what? To hear this kind of bullshit?'

But now she couldn't help but mock herself,

'Perhaps I should have really died long ago.'

She really entertained the thought of dying right now, but she thought about the last four of their crews.

They didn't betray her. They still needed her.

Since they needed her, then she needed to live... As such, she had to kill the five in front of them.

All sorrow immediately vanished from her face. One singular thought repeated.

'I need to live, therefore I need to kill.'

Behind her, her shadow began to change shape. Her aura continued to rise until it blanketed the entire zone.

‘Even though the way he sucked my milk back then was quite naughty.’

She didn’t know if all babies were like this and at first, she had been a little creeped out with how smart he seemed for his age, but she chalked it up to his dragon heritage.

Now though, she always liked how cute his bored expression was when he received lessons he obviously already mastered but had to act like a dumb child.

Those days were quite happy. Despite this, the hole in her heart still seemed unable to be filled.

-----

But one day, as she crouched down to wash the prince while in her maid clothes, she heard him ask.

“Why do you always seem so sad?”

This question sent a tremor in her mind. She was sure that she always perfectly controlled her expressions.

“What makes you think that, your highness?”

“Hum, I don’t really know. I guess sometimes you look like you are about to cry. Is something the matter?”

She could have lied here and now and end the discussion. After all, what could such a young child understand? Even though he was far smarter than his age, this didn't matter much in this situation.

Still, she couldn’t help but answer

“A lot of people I used to care about aren’t here anymore.”

She was quite careful about using the words death. She didn’t know if he was already aware of the concept of life and death, and she didn’t want to have to explain it if he wasn’t.

Still, seeing how his expression went from curious to shocked than sad, it seemed that he did understand what she really meant.

“I see. It must have been hard, right?”

The prince, so small she could take him in her arms, tiptoed and patted her head with his wet and warm hand as if calming a young child.

“You know, I don’t have anyone here either. They say that only people who share the same pain can understand each other. So I guess you are family now?”

His words made no sense to her. What about the queen, the saint, or even the princess? How could a child even utter such words?

Still, even though pitifully childish and naive, even though completely senseless, those words struck a chord deep in her heart, breaking a tightly strung one.

Closing her eyes, Milia for the first time bawled like a little girl while laughing as she watched the little prince's shocked expression at her sudden outburst.

Sometimes, people didn’t need deep words full of meaning and sagesse.

What mattered more than anything was using the right words at the right times.

----

[12 YEARS LATER]

Since that day, she more or less retired from her functions as the leader of the crown’s shadow and spent most of her time taking care of him and observing him.

All his actions.

All his little gestures.

All his expressions.

All his words.

She laughed when she saw the princess follow him around like a little duck.

She helped him when he received the little pup as his first slave.

She felt sad when she saw his frustrated expression after failing to use his sword.

Sadness, happiness, tears, expectations, stress, worries. A myriad of expressions filled her.

Slowly, she watched the little cute baby turn into a handsome and admirable young man.

Slowly, her bedroom became more and more filled with different objects belonging to him.

Slowly, her feelings of affection toward him became more and more distorted. Changing from the feeling a mother had towards her child to the feeling a woman had for a man.

Then one day, she received an order from the queen,

“Milia, do you think you could find someone to help Sol become an adult, if you understand what I mean?”

That day, her distortions finally found the perfect outlet.

Smiling, she gracefully bowed down and answered,

“I have the perfect candidate in mind.”

The rest is history.