Vol. 1 - Ch. 4 - A Loathsome Child

"...The Man Without Blessings, Rolf Buckman." I returned home and talked to myself in my room. The sunset sky outside the window looked more faded than usual. 

After the ceremony, on the carriage ride back from the church, Me, Emily, and Felicia were silent the whole way home. I'm usually a person who does not mind silence, but today's silence was a little more unbearable for me. 

Emily and Felicia were both giving me worried and sad glances. They didn't seem to know what to say to me. 

No magic power is an obvious anomaly. It indicates that they have little strength to fight. 

Humanity has long been at war with the demons. The demons share the same appearance as humans except for their brown skin, they are civilized, and they speak the same language as humans. However, their individual strength is completely different. Unlike humans, they are born with magical powers. Demons, who wield powerful magic, have proven to be formidable enemies to humans. 

To fight them, humans must also have magical power. Only magical defenses can prevent magical attacks, and only magical attacks can break through magical defenses. If we cannot use magic, we cannot fight against the demon tribe. And the Knights are basically an organization for fighting demons. There is no place for those without magical power, in other words, those who cannot fight demons. 

Those without magical power will not be treated kindly by the Knights. There is no precedent for "those without magical power," but it is certain. 

I've always wanted to be a knight. But I have no magical power. I don't have the fighting strength required of a knight. So what should I do? 

Well, I don't have to think about it. I will join the knighthood as planned. 

If I don't join the knighthood, there is no chance to be knighted. I am not willing to give up the knighthood, so no matter how small the chance is, if it is not zero, I have no choice but to bet on it.

There are battles that can be fought without magic power, such as the battle to clean up demonic beasts. Besides, there is no decent future for me, even if I remain here in the territory. Even if you are not a knight, the amount of magic power you have is directly related to your prosperity, and it's the same everywhere. I will not be able to succeed the baron's family as it is. Whether I stay here or go to the knighthood, I'm sure I'll still get a lot of criticism either way.

The lack of magical power means that one is not blessed by God. 

So to speak, it's an abomination. All thatt awaits you is contempt, ridicule, and discrimination. 

It's been quite a hard life... But, I still have a sword, holding the sword he has always used for training. It is an iron sword that has been used and scratched, but always kept clean. 

Yes, I still have my sword. I can wield a sword even without magic power. I will further hone my swordsmanship in the knighthood and fight with the sword. And I will become a knight. 

That is what I vowed in my heart.

Later that evening, there was no seat for me in the dining room. My parents, who were seated, didn't even look at me. Felicia turned to me for a moment, then immediately looked down. 

A servant approached. 

"This way." I followed her brief words and found myself in the kitchen. 

On the kitchen table, I saw a soup of vegetable scraps and black bread placed randomly on the table. The servant pointed at them silently and left. 

A wooden box was placed in front of the cooking table. It was probably supposed to be a chair. 

"Well, it's better to sit down and eat." I thought.

I sat down and picked up a loaf of black bread.

I tore off a piece of the crusty bread, dipped it in vegetable soup, and ate it. It wasn't bad. The cold, hard bread and the tasteless vegetable soup went surprisingly well together. 

This is how I will be treated from now on. Even in the knighthood, I will never be treated equally with everyone else. I am an unloved human being who has intruded into the land loved by the goddess. 

I am both foreign matter and a defective product. 

A "failure" that should be loathed. 

That is me. Rolf without blessings. I'll get used to this treatment. Even if the food is meager, if I don't eat properly, I won't have the strength to fight. I silently put the loaf of black bread in my mouth. 

After the meal, I crossed my arms and looked up at the ceiling. And then I thought about my divided family. This treatment was to be expected, but I felt a little surprised. I don't feel much anger or sadness toward my parents. I think that the connection between my parents and me is more genuine than it used to be. I somehow knew that they were looking at my talent and not at me. It is natural for parents to look at their children's talents, but I somehow understood that their gaze included "calculation". 

What they needed was not Rolf, but a capable next head of the family. I could see those kinds of thoughts somewhere in their eyes. 

"No... Is our familial bond really that worn?" 

Or perhaps this situation has made me think of such things with a hint of condescension in my thoughts. 

Discriminatory circumstances would deprive me of the opportunity to nurture my ego. After all, It is inevitable that a person would be strongly influenced by their environment in the development of their ego. 

Fifteen years old is the age at which one can join the Order of Knights, and one is regarded as an adult in this country. However, there is no doubt that he is still immature in terms of human nature, and he would need to mature his spirit from then on. That is what the Order of the Knights is all about.

It must be a great disadvantage for one to be placed in an environment where they are subjected to harm from those around them at that age. A person who has been hurt continuously will eventually become so fearful of being hurt that he or she will atrophy his or her ego. They worry about what others will say or do, they cannot act as they wish, and they are unwilling to make eye contact with anyone. 

I have seen such people on several occasions. 

And I am in an environment where such people are created. To avoid this, I must maintain a strong sense of self-discipline.

" Self-discipline, huh? "A smile of dismay came to my mouth as I said that. Shaking my head, I got up and went back to my room. Until, a figure appeared at the entrance. "Brother..." 

"Felicia."

My sister had a look on her face that I had never seen before. 

I thought to myself, "People make this kind of expression when they are sad but can't do anything about it." But I was also sad, sad because it was me who was causing her to make her such a face.

My parents appeared from behind her. 

"Felicia, don't get involved with that." they said.

"That's right, Felicia. If you associate with those who betrayed the Goddess, you too will be stained with the filth." 

Felicia kept her eyes down and said nothing.

Any form of conversation from here on out would be futile so I simply passed by the three of them in silence.  Sᴇaʀᴄh the NʘvᴇlFire.nᴇt website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of nøvels early and in the highest quality.

"Hey!" my father called out to me. 

"Felicia is the next head of the Buckman family. You know that, right?" 

"Yes, of course."

With that, I headed for my room without looking back.

My mother's voice followed. "You are not to have anything to do with Felicia from now on. Is that clear?"

"I understand." 

I am a man who has betrayed one of the most important things in an aristocratic family, the expectation of an heir. My parents' voices were filled with disappointment and hostility.