Chapter 20: "The Paperman"

Chapter 20: "The Paperman"

Matter existed in five distinct states: Solid, liquid, gas, plasma, and paperback. Gasses expanded to fill all available space and books were no different. Once they reached critical mass they exploded outward into every nook and crevice of a dwelling.

A large enough literary critical mass event could scatter books under coffee tables, behind sofas, on top of stairs and inside nightstands. Or even packed in moving boxes that you could swear you had already looked inside a dozen times. Relativistic effects could result in books taking the place of other items such as coasters or TV stands. In certain rare cases the explosion could stretch space itself as the books elbowed away the walls of reality to make room.

Once that started happening the process was impossible to reverse and the more books that were added to a collection the more pronounced the effects would become. What might have started out as a lone shelf might expand into a library stretching from floor to ceiling and wall to wall. Eventually if unchecked they might take over whole rooms and buildings.

The books rustled on their shelves as they felt the presence of a reader walking down the dusty corridor. Used books were different creatures than their freshly printed brethren. They were pencil marked, coffee stained, sometimes even dog eared but most importantly they knew what it was to be read, understood, maybe even loved... then thrown away.

The old cast iron stove at the front of the bookshop was almost a mercy compared to the anguish of lingering on forgotten shelves forever, hoping one day to be chosen, to be read again and maybe even passed on to others if they were good enough, funny enough, special enough. That glimmer of hope and their continued disappointment was enough to drive them mad.

And from their collective madness, frustration and loneliness something had come into being, something that shouldn’t have existed.

Six carelessly ran her fingers over the spines of the books leaving tracks in the dust. She didn’t notice how they shuddered from that brief moment of human contact. Growing bored she turned to go and found herself face to face with a man made completely out of paper.

His pages were yellowed with age and the ink on them was smudged. Layer upon layer of paper with words written in a dozen different languages folded over itself to create an origami monster. He lurched forward and grabbed her by the arms leaving papercuts where his fingers touched.

“Read!” He demanded. “Stay and read!”

“I don’t want to!” Six shouted as she struggled to escape. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She had to get away.

Bael looked to his wife, an unspoken conversation was taking place between them courtesy of their bond. Bael was in favor of shredding the creature to ribbons a quarter inch at a time but Maharet was trying to talk him out of it. She thought a cleansing fire might be a more suitable punishment. Eventually they reached a compromise.

“He seems like an honest sort, do you think we should let him go?” Bael asked, giving Six a wink to know that he was up to no good. She hadn’t been in on their conversation but she knew her guardians well enough and they weren’t the forgiving sort. Whatever they were planning wasn’t going to end well for the Paperman, and she was just fine with that.

Six broke the magic barrier with her shoe and gestured for the creature to depart. The Paperman went to step outside but hesitated. “You’re not going to destroy me?” He asked.

“Of course not.” Bael wrapped a protective arm around Six. “I have no intention of causing any harm towards your... person. You are free to go so long as you leave Six alone, you have my word that neither of us will attempt to do you harm.”

The Paperman stepped out of the circle and slowly backed away without taking his eyes off of the demons or the little girl. A low growl rose from the shadows behind him.

“I OF COURSE HAVE MADE NO SUCH PROMISES.” Titan rumbled.

There was a flurry of activity as the hellhound shredded then consumed the offending work of literature. When the job was done Maharet reached over to scratch behind Titan’s ears. His tail wagged from the affection. “Very well done.” She said. “But I can’t help but notice Six had to call us for help. Why were you not by her side?”

Titan gave her a guilty look and his tail fell. “THERE WAS A CHILD WITH SOMETHING CALLED A FRISBEE. I ALLOWED MYSELF TO BE DISTRACTED. IT WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN.”

“See that it doesn’t.” Maharet turned to face Bael. “I believe our neighbors will be wondering where we got off to. We should return the way we came. Six, keep Titan by your side and come home as soon as possible.”

The two demons held hands and vanished leaving Six and Titan alone in the bookshop. She looked over to her canine companion. “I don’t suppose you know the way out?” She asked.