Chapter 63: Rumors

Engineers use destructive testing to determine how much strain a mechanism can handle before it breaks. According to the TV shows and movies Bael had watched, camping trips served much the same purpose. There were only so many misbehaving tents and unexpected run-ins with local wildlife that family members could take before they snapped.

That was why Bael had made sure that their first trip together would go perfectly. He had everything planned out in precise detail, complete with checklists. “Alright, how are we doing on snacks?” he asked Six. RêAd lateSt chapters at novelhall.com Only

The young witch looked at Murphy. The demonic SUV’s suspension had begun to sag from the sheer weight of all the food Bael was bringing. “We should be fine,” she said, before remembering who she was talking to, “But we can always stop for more supplies if we run low.”

Bael nodded as he checked everything over one last time. “Good thinking. I’ve mapped out some local restaurants I’ve been meaning to try.”

From her seat on the porch, Maharet watched with amusement as she petted an orange hellcat. She had also consumed a fair amount of human entertainment and knew her husband was headed for disaster. For starters, he had forgotten the tent poles and pegs. “Good luck!” the fire demon called out, “Are you sure you have everything?”

“Oh, right!” Bael said as he ran back to give his wife a kiss, “I’ll see you soon. Don’t cause too much trouble while I’m gone. I hear school politics can be hell.”

Arson made gagging noises as the two demons embraced. The hellcat was still annoyed that Six had decided to take Potato along instead of leaving the unfortunate angel for them to play with. Titan padded over and gave the hellcat a stern look. “I TRUST THAT YOU WILL KEEP THE CHAOS TO A MINIMUM WHILE WE ARE GONE.”

“Then your trust is misplaced,” the orange hellcat said with a grin that was slightly too wide for her face, “We’re going to have the time of our lives.”

Titan shook his head. “I SUSPECTED AS MUCH. GOOD LUCK GETTING PAST MY REPLACEMENT.”

Arson looked up at Maharet with concern. “What’s he talking about?”

The demoness laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m sure you will find out soon enough.”

***

Michael gave his friend a look that verged on smugness. “That’s the thing, he came to us. It was a natural conversion. By this time next week Bael Sharoth will be on the side of heaven, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.”

“Woah,” Uriel said, taking a second to process what had happened, “Why do you think he switched sides?”

Michael looked back and forth dramatically, as if trying to suss out any hidden ears that may be listening. “According to our spy, it has to do with family. Bael wants a better life for his adopted daughter, something hell can’t offer.”

“Our benefits package is pretty fucking good,” Uriel mused, “We’ve got dental, vision, and the retirement plan is in-fucking-credible.”

“Quite right,” Michel said, ”But keep the news under your halo until the paperwork goes through. I can think of any number of entities that won’t be happy to hear the news that Bael is joining our side. If hell doesn’t try and kill him, our people might.”

“Do you really think one of our people would be that much of an asshole?” Uriel asked, before realizing that he was talking about heaven’s bureaucracy, “Ok, that was a stupid question. But let me know when he comes available. I need to overhaul my department, and I could use a good axeman to help trim the fat.”

“I will,” Michael promised, “But whatever you do, don’t tell Gabriel. He’s on the warpath and doesn’t think we know about it.”

Uriel shook his head. “That fucking fossil? I’m surprised they keep him around. Since when does heaven need an army?”

“Rumor has it that he’s being reassigned soon, orders from up on high,” Michael said, leaning in close as if he were afraid to say it out loud, “He may be getting a gold watch treatment.”

“Well, it’s about fucking time,” Uriel replied with a laugh, “I’d be happy to take his budget and put it to some real use.”

Gabriel listened to their cruel words, his ears and cheeks burning. I’ll show them, he thought, I’ll show them all.