CH 1.1

Lei Lei traversed to a small mountain village. When she opened her eyes, there was a group of old folk standing in front of her.

An aunty in her forties was sitting on the edge of the bed. When she saw her wake up, she was delighted, “Quickly! She’s awake!”

The group of people gathered around.

“She’s awake?”

“She’s really awake!”

…

“Everything was fine, why did you try to die?” The aunty sighed. Suddenly, she saw Lei Lei’s bewildered expression and immediately said with a face full of panic, “You… You don’t recognise us?”

Lei Lei calmed down, “Yes, I don’t recognise you.”

The aunty stomped her foot, “You fell from such a height, you must have lost your memory!”

Everyone looked at her with pity.

Amnesia? Lei Lei almost fainted again. She gritted her teeth, half happy and half upset. She was happy that she had fulfilled her wish to traverse time, but upset that those jerks had tricked her into falling into a landmine genre story. No, they took the initiative to pull an amnesia stunt!

She would not have amnesia, she would do it the other way around! She smiled confidently, “No, I don’t have amnesia.”

Everyone was stunned.

The aunty was doubtful, “Then do you remember your name?”

Lei Lei said, “My name is Lei Lei.”

The aunty shook her head, “This child really has amnesia. She can’t even remember her own name.”

She noticed that her hands did not have her usual healthy skin colour but was instead pale and smooth with long fingernails. Only then did Lei Lei realise she had entered someone else’s body. She was immediately invigorated and curious about her new identity, “Then what’s my name?”

Lei Lei almost fainted, “Chu Hua!”

“Yes, your name is Chun Hua. It’s only been about three months since you came to our Guyan Village, saying that you couldn’t find your relatives in Jinjiang City,” the aunty carefully explained to her, “You’re still young with a long road ahead of you. What are you doing seeking death? Fortunately, there was a tree in the middle of the cliff.”

Guyan Village? Jinjiang City?

“Wrong,” Lei Lei interrupted her suddenly and said firmly, “My name is not Chun Hua, it’s Lei Lei.”

The aunty panicked, “You’re talking nonsense again!”

She really could not accept that she was “Chun Hua”. Lei Lei tried to convince her, “It’s true, I actually lied to you on purpose back then…”

“Help her lie down, bring the medicine prescribed by Dr Zhao!”

“I don’t have amnesia, I’m telling the truth!”

“Feed it to her!”

Looking at the bowl of the black concoction, Lei Lei panicked. She jumped up and ran away, “I’m not drinking the medicine. I’m really not called Chun Hua, that was a lie!”

The aunty exclaimed, “Oh dear! There must be something wrong with her brain! Quick, hold her down!”

Five big men rushed up and held Lei Lei down, dragging her back to the bed.

“Waa—” Lei Lei’s eyes turned green, and she shrieked, “I don’t have amnesia! Did you hear me?! Hey, hey…”

The aunty used a pair of chopsticks to keep her mouth in place, “Have you guys ever seen Chun Hua speak so loudly?”

Everyone shook their heads.

“Her mind must have become muddled after falling down, poor child.”

Gulping down the bowl of medicine, the chopsticks were withdrawn. Lei Lei almost vomited. She was out of breath and did not have any strength left. She nodded incessantly, “Yes, I suddenly remembered, my name is Chun Hua.”

Everyone let go of her, “Should have said it earlier!”

The aunty looked at the sky outside the door and commanded two strong women, “It’s getting dark. You two stay here. We’ll take turns guarding her from now on. This girl is so pitiful.”

As she listened to everyone’s footsteps retreating, Lei Lei wanted to cry but had no tears. She really did not have amnesia. Those crazy grandmas, actually creating such a powerful setting!

In 2008, in a certain month, on a certain day, late at night, in a certain room.

In front of the screen, someone stretched themselves and there was a lazy smile on their lips. They smiled pleasantly, “To enter a landmine genre story, there will be thunder even if you don’t want it. Without giving you some small suffering, you won’t understand how powerful it is.”

On top of the small and shabby counter, there was a small wooden sign. A few small characters were written on it in red paint. The light in the small room was not very good and only up close could it be seen clearly: Jinjiang Time Traversing Corporation.

“Here it is.” Lei Lei heaved a sigh of relief.

A pure looking beauty was sitting at the counter, facing the computer with her eyes lit up.

Lei Lei leaned over curiously. It turned out that there was a glistening roast duck on the screen! In a daze, the beauty raised her head sharply and looked at her with shining eyes, “Hey, how does Peking duck taste?”

Lei Lei smiled in return, “Not bad.”

The beauty was satisfied, “Then that’s dinner settled!”

Lei Lei said hurriedly, “Well, I’m here for an interview.”

The beauty rolled her eyes, “Interview? What interview?”

Lei Lei hesitated, “I heard that you’re starting a time travel business…”

“Certainly,” the beauty immediately coughed twice. She put aside the roast duck and sat upright, nodding seriously, “Right. We recently started a time traversing business. Today is the last day for registration.”

Lei Lei said urgently, “I want to participate!”

“Register at the Human Resources Department.”

“Where is the Human Resources Department?”

“Right here,” the beauty smiled, “Hello, my name is Su Su. I’m the general manager of the Human Resources Department…”

Lei Lei immediately laughed, “Hello Ms Su! My name is Lei Lei.” She looked around, “Why are you alone?”

Me Su said, “Because I’m the general manager of the Human Resources Department.”

“I know.”

“Part-time staff.”

Lei Lei started to sweat and she looked around in surprise, “Can this be called a corporation? Can you really make people traverse through time?”

“Apart from us, who else in the world can help you fulfil your time travelling dream?!” Ms Su was excited and rose up, scattering the dust on the counter and scaring Lei Lei so much that she took a step back, “This is a new project from our R&D Department. It’s been certified by authorities and all the programs are idealised with various specialties, space, and time for you to choose from.” As she spoke, her eyes lit up suddenly and she pointed to the door, “Look, they’ve all signed up and have come today for the selection process.”

Three girls who were talking and laughing pushed open a door and walked in.

Lei Lei believed it a little, “I still have to choose?”

Ms Su sat down and regained her gracefulness. She gave a meaningful smile, “Of course, there are too many participants and opportunities are limited.”

Lei Lei immediately said, “Then I’m signing up. I want to go to the world of martial arts, action genre.”

“Let me check,” Ms Su suddenly disappeared from the counter and immediately, debris fluttered around the counter. After a long while, her head emerged from under the counter, “Unfortunately, the other genres are all full. The only one remaining is the landmine genre.”

Landmine genre! Lei Lei dodged a flying leather shoe, “Not going, not going, it’s too shocking!”

“What shock, it’s currently very popular. You might not necessarily have a chance yet,” Ms Su propped herself up with both hands on the counter and patiently explained, “I think your name is very fitting. Lei Lei, ah, one is Lei, two is also Lei. There’s a saying that ‘Lei Lei is healthier”. Little girl, don’t worry, your future is bright.”

(TLN: Landmine genre in Chinese is Tian Lei Wen. The character for Lei is ‘thunder’ but can generally mean shocking.)

Lei Lei could not accept this and she said with a smile, “Ms Su, please take a look. Is there anything else?”

Seeing those innocent eyes, Ms Su was helpless and bent down again in displeasure. Countless items were thrown out again and after a long while, she poked her head out happily, “There’s one that’s still not full. You can traverse through to a palace battle and with bodily abuse. Want to go or not?”

Bodily abuse? Lei Lei trembled and said cautiously, “What kind of abuse? Is it serious?”

“15 slaps.”

“That… should be fine.”

“100 lashes, plus violent treatment.”

“Ah, that… I won’t die, right?”

Ms Su stood up and gave her an incredulous look, “You won’t die.”

Lei Lei wiped her sweat, “That’s good.”

Ms Su looked at her seriously, “You still need to endure a miscarriage for the male lead and five slashes with a knife.”

“This…” Lei Lei considered it carefully for a long time and still decided to sacrifice her body to resist the landmine genre. She gritted her teeth and nodded, “Okay!”

Ms Su was shocked, “You’ll be treated like this, but you still want to go?”

Lei Lei was silent for a moment, “I understand that this is all for the setting up of the plot. You guys didn’t do it on purpose.”

“Oh my god!” Ms Su looked up to the sky and sighed. She jumped out from the counter and picked her up. Then she opened a door and kicked her in, “And you still say you won’t go to the landmine genre!”