CH 39

Gu Zhongyi hadn’t planned to confess his feelings like this. In his original plan, his confession would involve a room full of roses, a cozy candlelit dinner, treating it with great importance.

But that unexpected incident disrupted all his preparations.

He simply couldn’t wait any longer.

Lin Yuxing’s helplessness, Lin Yuxing’s tears, Lin Yuxing’s fear—all of them cut through his patience like sharp blades. They had been separated by fate for far too long.

Even if it was just for a minute or a second, Gu Zhongyi didn’t want to wait any longer.

Romance could make up for a lot of things, and moreover, Gu Zhongyi felt that it was the perfect time. Lin Yuxing’s reliance on him had filled him with courage.

Gu Zhongyi’s lips, warm and gentle, lightly left Lin Yuxing’s lips, carrying countless expressions of love.

Having traversed ten years to return to this world, every word he spoke carried weight. Like a dull iron that had been scorched by intense fire and then hammered into the shape he desired.

Gu Zhongyi transformed it into a light, feather-like touch, sincere as ever.

“Yuxing, I like you.”

His words were clear and distinct, the syllables forming a musical composition that entered Lin Yuxing’s ears.

Lin Yuxing was dazed, momentarily stunned in front of Gu Zhongyi.

But Gu Zhongyi was exceedingly greedy.

He became childish, impatient, unwilling to wait any longer. His voice pierced through the cold winter rain and the scorching summer sun, directly striking Lin Yuxing’s heart.

“Let’s be in a real relationship.”

“…”

“I want to be with you.”

Gu Zhongyi wanted to become a guiding light for Lin Yuxing to find his way home. He wanted to provide Lin Yuxing with a comforting embrace where he could freely express his worries.

If they had no home, then they could form a new “home” together.

Relying on each other, loving each other.

After a long silence, Lin Yuxing remained in a bewildered state.

A sourness welled up in Gu Zhongyi’s chest. He wanted to urge him, but he also didn’t dare. The two of them sat face to face, and Gu Zhongyi took a deep breath, firmly gripping Lin Yuxing’s shoulders.

That day he was determined to become Lin Yuxing’s lover.

And Lin Yuxing had no reaction at all. He didn’t say a word, just silently lowered his head. Following his gaze, Gu Zhongyi noticed Lin Yuxing’s hands fidgeting helplessly and cutely, unsure of where to place them.

Gu Zhongyi recalled Lin Yuxing’s confession when he was drunk and believed he wouldn’t be rejected.

But Lin Yuxing remained silent, which made Gu Zhongyi feel somewhat uneasy.

He called out softly, “Yuxing?”

Lin Yuxing’s lashes quivered at the sound. He hastily raised his head and stared straight at Gu Zhongyi’s handsome face for about three minutes.

Then, he slapped himself.

His force was too strong, and he hit the bruise on his face, aggravating the old injury and intensifying the pain.

That action startled Gu Zhongyi, his voice raising a few degrees. “Yuxing?!”

Tears streamed down Lin Yuxing’s face from the pain, and he immediately crouched on the ground, covering his face with a grimace. It wasn’t a pleasant sight, but it didn’t deter Gu Zhongyi, who had intense affection for him.

Lin Yuxing’s heart pounded like a drum, exceptionally splendid. However, at that moment, he was truly in pain and wished he could roll on the floor.

He endured it and then felt anxious.

That wasn’t a dream? It was actually real?

Gu Zhongyi confessed to him? Why? Had Gu Zhongyi gone crazy?

Lin Yuxing contemplated many thoughts, none of which excluded the possibility of Gu Zhongyi being insane.

He wanted to ask a few questions, but the force behind his own slap was so strong that his whole body trembled, making it difficult for him to even stand.

Helplessly, with Gu Zhongyi’s support, he trembled as he sat back on the edge of the bed.

When Lin Yuxing looked up again, he saw Gu Zhongyi’s face filled with anger, yet unable to vent his frustration.

Gu Zhongyi was obviously unhappy. “Why do you always do this?”

It wasn’t the first time Lin Yuxing had hit himself.

“…”

“Why do you hit yourself?” Gu Zhongyi said with concern with a hint of anger, “Why don’t you go to the mirror now and see what your face looks like?” He wanted to scold but couldn’t bring himself to do it. His face, which had just been filled with affection, now only showed annoyance.

“…”

For some reason, Lin Yuxing wasn’t afraid of him because Gu Zhongyi seemed unable to be angry with him.

Lin Yuxing was a bit awkward and inexperienced when it came to emotions, but he wasn’t stupid.

He moved his lips and thought of a reason. “I didn’t take my suppressants. Does it have such a big impact?” He quickly convinced himself, and guilt surged within him, thinking that it was all his fault.

If he had known Gu Zhongyi was coming, he would have definitely taken the suppressants.

He recalled how he had stuck to Gu Zhongyi throughout the day, and their pheromones must have been intertwined.

Sigh…

Feeling upset, Lin Yuxing lowered his head and came up with a solution. “I saw a pharmacy downstairs. I should be able to buy emergency suppressants.”

He thought that once he took the suppressants, Gu Zhongyi’s misconception of him would disappear.

Lin Yuxing was accustomed to ups and downs.

But he would feel heartbroken and cherish Gu Zhongyi’s confession as a precious memory throughout his life.

Upon hearing Lin Yuxing’s words, Gu Zhongyi immediately understood the problem.

Looking at Lin Yuxing, who was hanging his head in dejection, the anger he had felt gradually dissipated. It was his fault, he hadn’t explained clearly, and he had made Lin Yuxing uneasy.

Gu Zhongyi’s apologetic attitude was evident.

He took out the wound ointment he had gotten from the hospital in the afternoon, half-squatting down. Then he took out two medical cotton swabs and gently applied the ointment to Lin Yuxing, saying, “Don’t move.”

Lin Yuxing made a hissing sound, his whole body tensing up from the pain.

Gu Zhongyi furrowed his brows in concern. After finishing the treatment, he calmly said to Lin Yuxing, “It’s the same even if you take the suppressants.”

Unconsciously, Lin Yuxing bit his lip.

Gu Zhongyi said, “I like you not because of pheromones.”

Gu Zhongyi didn’t stand up; instead, he casually threw the cotton swabs into the trash bin. Half-squatting, he met Lin Yuxing’s gaze. His eyes were deep, gentle, like a guiding light in the night, a yearning for home. And what he wanted to give Lin Yuxing wasn’t just this tenderness but also a distant future.

But Gu Zhongyi didn’t want to make empty promises. He felt that the present moment was the most important.

He spoke each word very clearly.

“Before you gave me flowers, I already liked you.”

Since Lin Yuxing couldn’t understand and was confused, it would be better to make everything clear.

“So when you appeared with roses, I was overjoyed. But when I found out that the bouquet wasn’t from you, I felt disappointed. I thought for a long time about how I could start something with you.” He paused briefly and continued, “A beginning that would make you less resistant.”

Gu Zhongyi’s long eyelashes couldn’t hide his focused starry eyes. The coldness on his face had long disappeared, and he had become a worried teenager, concerned, troubled, and chasing after his love.

“When you agreed to a contract relationship with me, I was so excited that I couldn’t sleep the whole night. I wasn’t confident that you would respond to my feelings, but it didn’t stop me from wanting to be good to you and liking you.”

His words were sincere, leaving Lin Yuxing dumbfounded.

That was the Gu Zhongyi that Lin Yuxing didn’t know.

Gu Zhongyi had never been so talkative before, like he was now.

He spoke eloquently, his words clear.

Furthermore, Gu Zhongyi didn’t even hide his jealousy towards Xu Xiangchi anymore: “When I misunderstood that you had a high compatibility with another Alpha, I was so nervous that I broke out in a cold sweat. I was afraid of losing compatibility, so I was anxious and let you see my loss of control.”

“…”

“Yuxing, I like you, and I’ve always liked you.”

He was sincere, as if he had immersed the moon in water and transformed it into a reflection, offering it to Lin Yuxing’s hands, eager to receive a response.

Lin Yuxing thought he was in a dream, raising his hand, deciding to fully awaken himself.

Quickly, Gu Zhongyi grabbed Lin Yuxing’s wrist, hastily saying, “This isn’t a dream!” He knew about Lin Yuxing’s feelings for him “Could it be… my liking for you makes it hard for you to accept?”

Lin Yuxing’s mind couldn’t keep up with his mouth and instinctively replied, “…What else?”

In Lin Yuxing’s eyes, Gu Zhongyi was the handsome school idol with both talent and looks. He was also the sole heir of the Gu family and a high-quality Alpha that Omegas dreamt of.

Such an outstanding person, who clearly had better options, actually confessed to him after seeing his terrible family background?

Wasn’t that strange?

Upon realizing that this wasn’t a dream, Lin Yuxing’s doubts overwhelmed him. He couldn’t accept Gu Zhongyi’s confession with a clear conscience and muttered, “Why do you like me?”

Gu Zhongyi replied, “I think liking someone doesn’t need a reason.”

“I don’t understand.”

Lin Yuxing considered many things, lowering his head, unwilling to be swayed by Gu Zhongyi’s deep affection. He felt that it was very strange. Usually, he blushed and felt his heart race whenever he was around Gu Zhongyi. But now, when faced with a confession right in front of him, his heart was filled with worries instead. Besides confusion, he was left with only incomprehension.

“I don’t understand why you noticed me and came to like me,” Lin Yuxing tried to recall everything he had done. He didn’t think he had enough charm to attract Gu Zhongyi.

He murmured, “I’m not that great.”

Gu Zhongyi patiently summed up all the missed opportunities and concluded that it was love at first sight. Gu Zhongyi believed that Lin Yuxing didn’t need to know about those painful experiences; he just needed to find happiness.

Gu Zhongyi said gently, “Don’t speak ill of yourself. I think you’re great. The first time I saw you, I thought you were really amazing.”

The first sentence sounded familiar to Lin Yuxing. He felt like he had heard or seen it somewhere before.

But he wasn’t in the mood to think about it now. He tightly held his hands, nails digging into his palms. He thought of himself as such an ungrateful person, actually making Gu Zhongyi beg for a response.

Lin Yuxing suddenly felt that he was being unreasonable, but he knew that he couldn’t accept Gu Zhongyi’s confession.

Because sooner or later, Gu Zhongyi would regret it.

The tears on Lin Yuxing’s eyelashes seemed to not have dried yet, shimmering like small lakes under the light. He blinked, and the tiny water droplets fell like invisible flower petals, leaving faint shadows.

He spoke up, “I’m sorry, senior.”

Lin Yuxing was a coward. He was afraid of losing, so he always pretended that he didn’t need anything.

“I can’t accept your confession.”

Lin Yuxing liked Gu Zhongyi and was grateful to him, so he could only give Gu Zhongyi a satisfactory answer and give him a chance to completely escape from him.

It’s better to end the pain sooner than later.

Lin Yuxing recognized that he couldn’t hold onto anything, so he timidly hoped that he wouldn’t experience his past again.

Before Gu Zhongyi could ask, Lin Yuxing gritted his teeth and had already made a decision.

“Can you move a little further away from me? I want to show you something.”

“Yuxing?”

“After you see it, then decide if you still like me.”

Gu Zhongyi was speechless. He took a few steps back, retreating to a position that Lin Yuxing considered suitable, and stopped.

Lin Yuxing kept his head down and couldn’t look directly at Gu Zhongyi.

After a while, he stood up in front of Gu Zhongyi and took off his coat.

“…”

Lin Yuxing pursed his lips and continued to take off his turtleneck sweater. His slightly long hair became messy, with a few strands sticking up. His breathing became erratic, and his complexion grew worse.

Only a vest remained on his body.

With his thin figure, Lin Yuxing’s body looked frail. He grabbed the hem of the vest, swallowing a gulp of saliva, and stood still for a long time.

Gu Zhongyi suddenly realized what was happening and intervened, saying, “Enough!”

Lin Yuxing raised his head, stopping Gu Zhongyi from approaching. Tears swirled in his eyes, as he mustered the courage to take off the last piece of clothing.

His bare upper body, aside from being thin, showed no signs of damage.

Lin Yuxing felt the loss of warmth and took two heavy steps forward, turning his body around.

On his back, there was a scar, viciously covering his skin extending all the way to his glands.

It was this large and ugly scar that caused Lin Yuxing to be abandoned by the foster parents who had intended to adopt him, isolated by the children in the welfare home, and constantly treated as a defective product by Cheng Rong.

Behind him, Gu Zhongyi fell into a long silence.

Lin Yuxing couldn’t see Gu Zhongyi’s expression, nor did he dare to look.

He ended his first love with his own hands.

“The confession just now…” Lin Yuxing drifted away, trying to empty his mind to feel a bit better. His voice remained steady, without any fluctuations or choking. He simply said softly, “Let’s pretend it never happened.”

Lin Yuxing wouldn’t blame Gu Zhongyi for his retreat; he never expected Gu Zhongyi to accept it in the first place.

Once accustomed to disappointment, one learnt to endure.

However, contrary to his expectations, Gu Zhongyi took a few steps forward and tightly embraced him from behind.

His  tears fell onto Lin Yuxing’s shoulder, scorching his heart.

“Does it still hurt?”