CH 53

When Liao Yan was in high school, his family moved to City F due to his father’s job. He attended a high school where Alphas were the majority and suffered severe bullying.

The person who led the bullying was Xu Feiqing, one of the most rogue Alpha in the school.

The reason he was bullied was simple. As a transfer student with excellent looks and grades, he refused to accept the “olive branch” thrown by Xu Feiqing’s group and refused to join their small circle.

He had even stopped them from bullying a Beta classmate once.

As a result, Liao Yan, who had never fought before, became the new target of bullying in the school. Under Xu Feiqing’s domineering and unreasonable behavior, no one dared to stand up for Liao Yan.

During that gray period, he was isolated, attacked, stripped naked and photographed, and forced to do many things he didn’t want to do.

He was ridiculed even more: “Can someone like you even be an Alpha? Why don’t you spread your legs and be an Omega instead?”

Helpless, Liao Yan sought help from teachers, but in return, he faced even more intense bullying after a short period of peace. Xu Feiqing took advantage of his relatives’ slight influence in City F to act recklessly.

At that time, Liao Yan’s father faced difficulties at work and often worked overtime. His mother also ran around due to her father’s frequent hospitalizations, worrying endlessly.

Liao Yan knew well the hardships his parents endured, so he kept his own suffering hidden in his heart, which eventually led to severe depression.

From then on, Liao Yan no longer shone brightly. He grew out thick, heavy bangs, wore outdated glasses, and hunched his back, making an effort to diminish his presence.

He became less confident and no longer cheerful.

However, Xu Feiqing’s bullying did not stop due to Liao Yan’s display of weakness; the bullying continued.

But outstanding people are always outstanding, and even through all that struggle, Liao Yan successfully entered C University.

His father also resolved his work issues and received a promotion. His grandfather’s health improved significantly, and his mother no longer wore a distressed expression.

It seemed that everything was moving in a positive direction.

However, one evening, without any warning, Liao Yan jumped from the upper floor. The rain shelter on the building restricted his fall, and he was rushed to the hospital, where he was saved.

During that summer vacation, Liao Yan became so thin that he seemed like a mere skeleton.

He lay on the hospital bed, staring at the bright sun outside the window, his expression distant. Liao’s mother sat by his bedside, weeping, while his father stood silently.

A month later, Liao’s father quit his job. They moved away from that distressing city and settled in City C.

Liao’s father found a new job that didn’t require frequent overtime, although the salary was significantly lower. However, they had some savings, and they were not lacking money. Together, his parents wholeheartedly took care of their son.

The hospital became their most frequently visited place.

Gradually, Liao Yan began eating normally and attending classes at C University. He gained a little weight back but remained quiet.

Meanwhile, Liao’s mother often dreamt of her son attempting to take his life again, so she started staying by his side without moving an inch, even accompanying him to school.

When Liao Yan would have many classes, she would hire people to help him reduce stress. As he had no friends, she wanted to be his friend.

Her excessive interference, meticulousness, and fearful demeanor became a new wall for Liao Yan, making him feel suffocated. It was as if a voice constantly reminded Liao Yan: “You are not normal, you’re weak.”

Liao Yan wanted to become “normal,” but he couldn’t.

His heart was like a festering wound, and he himself was like a walking corpse wandering in the world.

One night at midnight, he silently went to the living room barefoot and poured water.

In the dim environment, the faint sounds of his mother crying and his father’s suppressed anger could be heard from their room.

A sliver of light seeped through the door crack, originally representing brightness, but for some reason, Liao Yan felt that he was far away from that light, unable to approach it again.

At that moment, his heartbeat slowed down, and he moved closer, pressing his body against his parents’ bedroom door.

The piercing words entered his ears.

“It’s because you insisted on working in F City and forced us to go with you that Xiao Yan turned out like this!”

“And what about you?” Liao’s father refused to back down, angrily questioning, “What were you doing during that time? I’ve said it before, bring your dad to F City, but you refused, saying he has a stubborn temper and can’t adapt to the environment. Fine, now that he got used to it the one who was sacrificed is Xiao Yan—”

“Now you’re blaming me? Liao Fangguo, is that what you’re really thinking? I know you’ve been resenting me for all these years!”

“What? I resent you?”

“Why wouldn’t you? It seems like you really do! For so many years, all you know is work. How many times have you really taken care of Xiao Yan?”

“If I don’t work, will our family be living off the air? You take care of him so well, why is he so weak and afraid to even speak up when he’s bullied then?”

“Xiao Yan is not weak! He’s just too kind. He shouldn’t have gone to that city and that high school!” She sarcastically remarked, “Yes, you have your work, that’s all you know.”

“…”

“I have to take care of the child, as well as both sides of the parents. And now, when something happens to the child, it’s my fault?You have no shame at all!”

“You don’t even know that he was forced to smoke!”

…

They blamed and reproached each other.

When self-blame could no longer erase the pain in their hearts, they began shifting blame onto one another. Deep down, they both knew that the biggest mistake was their own.

They neglected their child, and they missed the time when Liao Yan needed help the most.

Liao Yan listened for a long time, rooted to the spot.

Their endless arguments echoed in his mind, continuously repeating, clearly invading Liao Yan’s inner self and tearing at his sanity.

“Don’t… don’t say…”

Liao Yan repeatedly knocked his head against the wall, his voice like a mosquito’s hum, “It’s my fault… it’s my fault… I’m sorry…”

It was because he was too weak that the situation had come to this.

If only he weren’t an Alpha, then he wouldn’t have attracted attention, and he wouldn’t have become a target.

If only his personality were stronger, then he would have the courage to fight back, and he wouldn’t have fallen into this state.

If only his parents had a strong child, then their family wouldn’t be broken, and he wouldn’t be the source of guilt and arguments.

If only…

If there could be someone completely different from him to take his place.

……………………..

Liao Yan murmured, lying back on the bed, his gaze hollow lost in an unknown direction.

He was very tired.

He wanted to be free.

On a certain day in October, Liao Yan had cut his wrist and soaked himself in the bathtub, staining the water with a pool of blood.

When he was discovered, he was almost lifeless.

In the hospital corridor, a faint layer of white light shimmered.

Liao’s mother sat exhaustively in a chair, while Liao’s father pounded the wall heavily.

After a while, Liao’s father asked hoarsely, “Is what we did right or wrong?”

“…”

“If there’s a next time, let him go.”

Liao’s mother stared at Liao’s father with clenched teeth, trembling and unable to utter a syllable. She whimpered, her throat as heavy as cement, sinking relentlessly.

Liao’s father knelt down with tears streaming down his face, kneeling in front of his wife. “Let’s not argue or fight anymore. Let him go… Our child has suffered so much, over and over again, how much pain he must be in!”

Their brows were filled with age.

Liao’s mother turned her head, silently and despairingly pinching her own arm, her expression filled with the determination that if their child died, she would follow.

Their family was ruined.

Without Liao Yan, their home was no longer a home.

Liao Yan remained unconscious for several days until he woke up on a rainy morning.

Liao’s mother and father hadn’t left the hospital for a moment. They stayed by their child’s side until Liao Yan gradually regained consciousness.

“Xiao Yan! Xiao Yan, it’s Mom, Mom is here!” Liao’s mother’s voice was hoarse as she had aged almost ten years in appearance.

Liao’s father hurried to call the doctor.

Liao Yan took weak breaths, his gaze falling on his mother’s face, then drifting to the white ceiling. He kept looking around, everything seemed unfamiliar yet incredibly familiar.

Liao’s mother called his name, but he didn’t react at all.

Soon, doctors and nurses rushed in and performed a simple examination on Liao Yan, asking him questions that he could respond to.

However, for some reason, Liao Yan found his own name strangely unfamiliar. The doctor called him several times before he responded, his eyes filled with confusion.

Time passed second by second, and Liao Yan seemed tired. He closed his eyes again.

He felt like he had a long dream. In the dream, he transferred schools, was bullied, attempted suicide, was rescued, moved houses, witnessed his parents’ arguments, attempted suicide again, and smelled the scent of disinfectant…

The dream was chaotic, and he felt like an observer, exhausted from just watching.

When he woke up again, Liao’s mother and father were still by his side.

“Xiao Yan, are you thirsty? Have some water.” Liao’s father brought the thermos over, his steps unsteady. He hadn’t shaved for several days, his hands rough, trembling as he handed it to Liao’s mother.

Liao’s mother carefully brought the cup to Liao Yan’s lips.

Liao Yan took a small sip, and his dry throat felt much better.

Seeing him relax slightly, Liao’s mother asked in a gentle voice, “Xiao Yan, do you want to eat something? Mom will go home and make it.”

“…”

Liao Yan didn’t speak, he looked at the two people before him with confusion, and no matter how much they cared, there was a sense of distance in his eyes.

“Xiao Yan, it’s okay. Mom and Dad are by your side, everything is fine now.” Liao’s mother caressed his forehead, tears welling up in her eyes. “Mom is sorry…”.

Liao Yan just stared at her.

After a while, Liao Yan spoke hoarsely, “Who… are you?”

As soon as the words came out, before his parents could react, he was startled by his own unfamiliar voice.

That wasn’t his voice.

His body felt as heavy as a thousand pounds. Ignoring the panic of Liao’s parents, and disregarding the fact that he still had an IV drip, he struggled to sit up. He forcefully pushed away Liao’s mother, and barefooted, he walked toward the restroom in the hospital.

Liao’s father tried to grab him, but he angrily shouted, “Don’t touch me!” His eyes were full of hostility, as if he had completely transformed into a different person.

Liao’s father stood there in a daze, as the “son” stumbled and rushed into the restroom of the ward, locking the door.

Liao’s parents continuously knocked on the door and called out to him.

Inside the room, “he” stood in front of the mirror, wide-eyed and terrified.

“How… How can this be? Who is this?” He touched the mirror, desperately trying to get an answer. “This isn’t me, this isn’t me… Who are you?”

The person in the mirror mimicked his movements and expressions, completely unable to answer him.

“How… How did this happen… What’s going on?” He fell into a brief confusion.

The nurse unlocked the door with a key, and the light from outside flooded the windowless restroom, stinging his eyes, causing tears to flow.

He was Qu Xing.

He was the one who, in the welfare institution, destroyed his younger brother’s future with his own hands and heartlessly abandoned him.