Chapter 879 Lost Girl

Chapter 879 Lost Girl　　With her mind catching on to what had just happened, Kanzaki’s eyes opened wide. A moment later, she reflexively pulled her head back, ending that brief connection.

She then gently touched her lips while her eyes focused on mine, perhaps wondering if what happened was real or not.

As it was too short and it only happened accidentally, we might as well not count it as such. In any case, looking at how she reacted, the girl was more surprised that kissing someone was that easy. She probably couldn’t wrap her head around why it was a hurdle in her previous relationship.

While she was lost in her thoughts, I smiled and praised her. “Mhm… See that? You can do it even without taking up lessons or guidance. It’s that easy.”

“T-that’s not—”

Escaping her swirling thoughts about what happened, Kanzaki tried to argue but my next words cut her off. “Yes, it is. You did it that easily. Accident or not, you passed the hurdle. However, I have to apologize for having your first kiss like that.”

I put a hand on top of her head and patted it as I continued to rain down praises.

Before confusion filled her mind, I continued.

“You don’t have to look as though you’re lost, Kanzaki. I admire your honesty. And I understand your reason for asking me for a lesson. However, I believe you also understand that it’s pretty pointless to ask someone for it. I mean, in the first place, you don’t need one. You only needed the courage or determination to successfully do it.”

I told her to be honest and when she did, I was saying this. Am I discouraging her? Pretty much, yeah.

She said she wanted to do it for herself, even presenting tempting conditions such as ‘letting me do what I wanted to do’. However, I knew for myself that I was already too different from the past me.

And even with my interest in her returning, I now found this situation absurd.

Kanzaki didn’t have any experience. And because of what happened with her previous relationship, she probably acquired the courage to ask me, someone she pretty much blackmailed for guidance back then. In her mind, I was probably the same guy as before, the one who was disappointed because she refused the practical lesson. That’s why she’s expecting that I would easily accept her proposal.

As she’s not in any relationship at the moment, she deemed it the best time to rack up experience points, and who better to ask for it?

However, it didn’t go the way that she expected it to happen.

“If you say it like that… Then are you…?”

“Yes, I’m sorry but I won’t give you a lesson, Kanzaki. There’s no need for one. Although I’m tempted by the offer, I can only decline it.”

“W-why? I mustered my courage to bring you here… You told me to be honest and I did… Why back out now?”

“I already told you why.”

Not only she didn’t need one, but also I wouldn’t be able to keep this a secret from my girls. She wanted to downplay it as a simple lesson but in the end, that’s just an excuse.

If I accepted her request for a lesson, I would surely be inclined to take her in as we progressed with it. That’s how it was going to happen with Otsuka-senpai, after all.

Not that I didn’t want to create the same situation like that but in Kanzaki’s case, it’s not curiosity but her desire to stamp out what happened with her failed relationship. She’s probably only saying that this didn’t involve her ex, yet that guy’s the whole reason why she’s now desperate to ask someone like me.

Moreover, I felt the tug in my mind about not cheating on my girls. If I accepted and they heard of this situation from me, I could somehow imagine their disappointment…

Because in the first place, the only connection I had with Kanzaki was that photo she took and used to compel me in giving her a lesson.

It’s too weak. Weak enough that even with my interest resurfacing, I didn’t have the inclination to make her mine. She smells good and her body is definitely tempting, yet I couldn’t find a strong reason why I would like her the same as I like and love my girls.

I mean, I’m more inclined to make Izumi-senpai mine than do the same for Kanzaki.

Last but not the least, she didn’t have any interest in me. I’m only a convenient person to her. She picked me because there’s no one else to pick from and we already had that history.

I could be anyone else so long as it fitted what she’s looking for…

Besides, even if I rejected her. I already imparted the lesson she needed to understand… And that’s enough.

At least, in my opinion. However, looking at the girl in front of me, I probably failed...

“… Y-you won’t change your mind?” Lost at my rejection, Kanzaki now looked desperate with that question. She grasped my hand again and put it on her cheeks.

But instead of feeling her willingness to go through what she proposed, what I felt was fear. She’s trembling slightly. Instead of absorbing and understanding what I just told her about not needing a lesson, her mind was focused on my rejection.

That’s why… It’s now my responsibility to turn her focus back to it.

“Kanzaki, let me repeat it. You don’t need a lesson. You can accomplish a kiss given the situation. But if you just wanted to get better at kissing, there’s no other suitable partner for it than your boyfriend.”

“I don’t have one… He broke up with me, remember?”

“Yes, he did. But do you really want to get better at it as soon as possible?”

“Y-ye… No.” The girl was about to blurt out yes but she changed it midway as she quickly shook her head. And after doing so, she became downcast. Her trembling gradually grew stronger as though she were about to burst into tears.

“There you have it. You shouldn’t be too desperate for it, Kanzaki. Also, we could write off that first kiss of yours as something that didn’t happen. It’s an accident, after all.”

“N-no. It happened. We can’t just write it off.”

As though my words had affected her, the girl’s trembling stopped as she hurriedly shook her head, rejecting my words.

Following that, Kanzaki looked straight at me again, her hand tightening on mine. “Tell me, Onoda-kun. Did you reject me because of your girlfriend or… is there another reason?”

I see. With that question, I could say that the girl somehow managed to tide through my rejection… Then I better give her a proper answer.

“Yes, it’s because of my girlfriend. But there’s another reason.”

“Another reason?”

“Mhm… Because I’m interested in you.”

Upon hearing that, Kanzaki blanked out. Moments later, she blinked a few times as a puzzled expression crept on her face.

“Huh? That’s contradictory. If you’re interested then won’t it be a win for you if you accepted?”

“It’s not a win if I accept a lost girl’s request.”

“I… I’m not lost.” She tried to deny it but the stuttering gave her away.

“Yes, you are. It’s too obvious that what happened in your relationship is continuing to haunt you. Know this, Kanzaki, you’re not the one at fault. Don’t put yourself down just because of a coward’s mistake. You’re an excellent girl as you are... And that’s the truth.” After saying this, I lifted her hand and planted a kiss on it.