Chapter 21: Realization

Inside this quiet infirmary room, the sounds of ruffling clothes and suppressed moans of pleasure can be heard coming from a maiden's mouth.

Amidst all that is the occasional noises made from my kisses. 

Maemura is in my arms as I let myself indulge at kissing and licking every part of her neck and her nape. Ever since I saw this part of her, I longed for leaving a hickey on it. And now that I've taken an initial grasp on her I let myself loose.

"Stop Onoda. Huaa. Why are you suddenly this forceful?"

Maemura asks in between her moans. 

"I already kissed you earlier. Huaa auu. Unhand me. Sakuma is in front of me."

Even at this moment, she's still thinking about Sakuma. Even if it's me who's giving her pleasure, her mind is still on him.

"How cruel Satsuki. I am here, forget about Sakuma for now."

I then turn my focus on her ears, I nibble on it and lick until it turns red. My hands that were exploring her body aimlessly are now on her legs, caressing it, tracing it in my palms, remembering the shape of it. This number one asset of hers is now being held by me. If Sakuma wakes up like this, he will surely be surprised. Ah. This excitement brought by that possibility. It's filling me up again.

"Huaa Stop. I love Sakuma. Besides. Hauu.. I haven't allowed you to call me by my name."

"You're moaning like this, but you still have that clear head. What do you want me to call you then?"

My hands move up, from her legs up to her thighs, repeating the same thing, committing it all to my memory. No one touched this before and now it's being felt by me. Only me.

"Idiot Onoda. You keep on taking advantage… Hauu.. of me. Call me any way you want. I don't care. Just don't do that when we're in front of Sakuma."

"Let's leave Sakuma here then."

I take a step back, dragging her with me. Three steps and we're in the vicinity of the middle bed. Sakuma who's sleeping is now out of her reach.

I reach for the curtain and drag it to cover us. Enclosing us inside.

"We have to go back to class. We should stop now Onoda."

"Don't worry Satsuki, it's fine to be a little late. It will be rare to have a chance like this again."

I pull her by the arm, pulling her close to me again. But she. She keeps looking back at the direction where Sakuma is.

"I am here Satsuki, don't look there."

I whisper on her ears.

"Sakuma. He. He's just sleeping there. Am I betraying him?"

Maemura whispers in question.

Ah. She's thinking. Even if they're not a couple yet. Her love for him never wavers, but she's not resisting my advances. She's thinking if what she's doing is wrong. If she decided she does, she might break.

"You're not. Blame it on me. I'm the one making you do this."

I hold her face that's filled with worry. Slowly turning it to me.

"I want you Satsuki. You're not to blame. This is all on me."

I give her a kiss, I want to ease her worry.

"Onoda. You're right. This is all you. You're making me like this."

"Yes. So don't think about anything and just blame it all on me."

And another one.

"I love him Onoda."

"I know."

"And you still want me?"

"Yes."

"I will keep on looking at him."

"I don't care."

"I will keep longing for him."

"Go on."

"He will always be what I want the most."

"Sure."

"I will blame this all on you."

"Please do so."

"Why?"

"Because I want you to be mine."

Leaving that sentence hanging. The worry on her face eased up. She took my words, believing in it. Everything we'll be doing from now on will be my fault. Her heart is still for him. Exclusively for him. That's how strong her love is. Even if I do everything I want, she'll keep on going back to him. Ah. This is filling my secret desire more than what I received from others before.

Akane...

Ah!

Huh?! Why did I suddenly think of her?! I suddenly feel uneasy. What is this feeling?! I don't understand. Why?

I want to see her. I want to see Akane. What is this? Why am I feeling this uneasiness? Teach me. Tell me what is this I'm feeling.

Huh? Ah. I see. I understand

This situation I have now with Maemura.

I don't want this to happen to Akane.

I see.

This is why I'm feeling this uneasy.

I'm afraid.

Too afraid that this might also happen to Akane. What is this feeling? My head hurts.

I don't want Akane to experience the same thing Maemura is experiencing right now with me.

I see.

I want her.

Akane.

I don't want to see her with another guy.

I want her to be mine.

Only mine.

Is this love? I don't know.

I don't think so.

But this is different from my secret desire.

What is this?

Why did I only think of this now?

All those times, Akane was asking me to consider her and my response was always the same. 'I'm not interested in someone single'.

Why now?

Why only now?

Is it because I realized that my interpretation of my secret desire was wrong?

I don't know. That's not it.

Akane is special to me.

Yae. I don't care if she found another.

Only to Akane do I feel like this.

I don't want to hand her to anyone else.

I see.

My head hurts.

Akane.

I want to see you.

"Onoda?"

Ah? Maemura? What happened?

"What happened to you? You suddenly fell silent. Like you're deep inside your head. What are you thinking?"

Ah. Even after that realization. I still want Maemura to be mine. This hopeless maiden in love. I'll have her everything except her heart.

I pull Maemura and have her sit on my lap, directly on top of my cock. Her mouth that was just talking was immediately covered by my lips. I aggressively seek her tongue out and suck on it intensely. There's still the taste of lemonade on there, the proof of our secret connection.

My hands firmly grip her butt under her skirt. Massaging it forcefully. Imprinting my palms on it. Guiding it to rub herself to me.

"Wait Onoda. Hauuu. You're grabbing it too hard."

I see. I'm this selfish. Selfish enough but also afraid about thinking that there's someone else out there like me.

Like me who's satisfying his desire.

Even if there's only a small possibility.

I don't want Akane to be targeted.

I'll make sure she won't be.

But how?

She's mine. I won't hand her to anyone else.

I will never, even if I have to kill someone.

Kill. Why do I feel calm even when thinking of killing someone?

Ah. I'm really hopeless.

I'm contradicting myself by denying other existence like me.

But that doesn't matter. As long as they don't touch Akane, I don't care what they want to do.

But if I found someone like me...

Ah. I see.

I'm really broken.

I don't even feel hesitation about killing someone just now.

I will certainly do it if I found one.

Hopefully, there's none.

"Hauuu. You're making me breathless. Let me breathe first."

Maemura pulls her mouth and tongue away from me. She's gasping for breath. The hold she had on my shoulders tightened.

Ah. I didn't notice. I was ravishing her intensely that she almost ran out of breath.

That got me out of my thoughts. 

I loosen up my grip on her butt.

I suddenly lose motivation to do her.

I guess this is fine for now.

I can't just continue after all that.

My head hurts.

I just stare at her beautiful face. Even if it seeks Sakuma, it's me who made her like that. That flushed face. I'll make that look at me. Those neck of hers that was smeared by my saliva, a little more sucking and it might've turned to a hickey. That is mine

I won't let her go. She's also mine. I revel at the idea of her being mine while her heart is only for Sakuma.

This is how it usually is right? All those girls I stole all love someone.

But I wonder why does it invoke that feeling in me to recognize how special Akane is.

Ah. Right. I understand now.

It was because of me deciding to take the blame of whatever that will happen between us.

It never happened before. Not to any girls I've stolen. Not even with Kana. This is the first time of me encountering someone like Maemura who has this kind of deep love.

It made me be aware of Akane.

It made me want her.

I want to keep her by my side. Akane is mine.

The sound of the bell indicating the start of the classes put us back to reality.

"Ah, it's already time! Let's stop for now Onoda."

She immediately stood up and went to look at Sakuma who's still sleeping. That immediate decision of hers is amazing. This girl is this amazing.

"Ms. Hayashi said this idiot will wake up later right?"

Looking at Maemura like this, my secret desire is on full throttle. But I held myself back. I should thank her. She made me realize something I was neglecting. Thank her for waking me up. So for now, no matter how I want to satisfy my desire. I'll let her off.

And Yae. She's right.

Akane, if she disappeared, I will never be fixed.

She's that essential to me.

"Yes. Let's go now."

I stand up and pull Maemura out of the infirmary.

"H-hey? Why did you pull me out? I'm still looking at Sakuma."

"I know you will watch him sleeping until he wakes up if I don't pull you out."

Yes, this hopeless maiden in love. She's certain to do that. Even with me pleasuring her, she can't stop thinking about Sakuma.

"Ah. You're right. I won't be able to leave. I guess I'm hopeless for that idiot."

"But you keep on insulting him. Are you a tsundere? Ah no, you don't show deredere in front of him. It's always tsuntsun."

"Tsundere? What the hell is that?"

"Nevermind. Let's go."

"Huh? Ah right. You owe me a punch Onoda. You're too forceful on me. I keep telling you to stop."

"I know. I'll let you punch me when we're alone again."

"Idiot. Pervert."

"I know. Satsuki, I will make you mine."

"Argh. Idiot Ruki. Don't call me like that in front of others."

Now, I got to another step with Maemura. Ah. Satsuki. I'll keep calling her that now. Well, I'll respect her wish to only do it when we're alone. At least for now.

Thanks to Kanzaki, Shio just let us in when we came back from the infirmary. Everyone knew what happened to Sakuma so she let that slide.

Surprisingly, Shio didn't have any reaction at seeing me. Maybe. She made up her mind about us. She's now back to being my class adviser. I see. Let's leave it for now. She probably needs more time.

That thing that happened in the infirmary made my head hurt. Just realising something I've been neglecting all along brought me this much pain. Why didn't I get medicine for my headache there? Such an idiot.

"A-are you okay? You look like you're in pain."

Rindou asks when I settled back in my seat.

"Just a headache."

Did it show on my face? Ah. I guess that really took a toll on me. It's horrifying to think about it again.

"Idiot. We're already there. Why didn't you say something? Do you also want to get supported by me to the infirmary?"

"No. I'll be fine. This much is nothing."

Ah. That is a good chance to tease Maemura but this headache is making me not want to do it.

I really want to see Akane.

Time passed and classes ended with nothing much to show for it. I don't know what happened to those other groups but they seem to be too quiet today.

Sakuma showed up during the 4th period. He looked refreshed at least. That made Maemura sigh in relief but right after that her foul mouth started shooting again abusing Sakuma like there's no tomorrow.

Well, I don't know when they will confess to each other, it all depends on Satsuki. That idiot Sakuma is still in the middle of thinking about whether he will confess or not. With what happened to him yesterday and today, he's probably thinking he lost some cool points on Satsuki.

If only he knew how crazy the girl is for him. He'll perform three somersaults right there at his seat. 

He doesn't really have to worry anyway, I'll take care of Satsuki in the meantime. That's how good of a friend I am.

During the lunch break, I ran into Andou or rather, she chased me from behind on the way to the cafeteria.

What is this scary girl thinking of doing? Did she find out another thing with her observation skills?

"You know Onoda.."

"What? Don't tell me, I'm stalking someone again?"

Andou laughs at my response.

"Relax. That's not it this time. You're clear."

"You know, I will become Ogawa and his group's enemy if they see you walking with me."

"Ah. I know you're smart. That's what I'm really aiming at!"

This scary girl. What the hell did I do to you? I haven't even drawn up a plan for dealing with you yet. And now you're here pitting me against a group with that absurd concept of 'power of friends'.

"Say Andou, did I offend you or something?"

"Uhm let's see. Not really, no."

"Then why?!"

"Well, I just found you as an interesting guy. And I have this feeling that if it's you, you won't fall for me. Am I right?"

Can you tone down the use of your skill, please? Use that on anyone but me.

She's right anyway, I only want to steal her if possible. Never would I fall for her. I don't even know that concept, not until Akane finished teaching me all about it.

"If I let you use me to push Ogawa to panic, what's in it for me?"

Andou's eyes and lips smiled at my response.

"I knew it. You're really something Onoda. I knew you'll get what I meant without me explaining it in detail. Okay then, I'll grant one of your wishes. Of course nothing sexual. I only want Ogawa, not you."

That's enough. Damn. This scary girl. Thanks for giving me a window of opportunity to start on your route!

This headache of mine. I'll bear with it for a little longer.

"Deal!"