Chapter 78: The Reason (2)

"Ah. I'm showing an unsightly appearance. Where's the tissue?"

Miwa-nee, noticing her tears, tried to wipe it away with her fingers.

Then she looked at me again, still with flowing tears.

"You can guess it now, right? Maybe I loved you before, Ruki. And I put that away when I made that decision. I never thought I'll be looking back at it again. But here we are."

"That night, even when you're asleep, I kept on talking to you. I did it with an almost silent voice. I don't want anybody to hear it but you. Even if you're sleeping."

Soon, Miwa-nee finally controlled her tears making her voice clearer. Neither Akane nor I talked and just waited for her

"I whispered how I came to start looking at you differently, how I tried to always take your attention, separating you from Akane."

"I whispered all those while you're asleep. Then I told you how I wanted to see you grow up to be something great. At some point, I started venting out all my frustrations."

I see. It's like what Shio did yesterday when I acted as a wall, but Miwa-nee did that when I was asleep.

"From how I can't find a stable job, how I can't find a better man like you, how you weren't born much earlier."

"Now that I'm remembering it, I couldn't help but recall the regrets I had after that decision. If I had waited, I could have a chance with you. But even if I go back to that time, I will still make the same decision. Now, I have Minoru. Isn't he cute? He somehow resembles you and me."

It's for her parents. I understand that decision she made. And yes, Minoru's cute that even I am also fond of him. Miwa-nee became a great mother. Maybe the years of taking care of me paid off that she became like that.

"Ah. I'm getting sidetracked. Ruki. I might've really set you on that path. There's no doubt. You told me about that desire to steal someone from somebody. It stemmed from what I whispered to you to grow up and steal me from my husband, and steal everyone you set your eyes on."

"It sounds stupid, right? But at that time, that's the only way you could also see me as yours considering how in love you two are to each other."

Eh? She's right. I probably only have eyes for Akane back then.

"I told you that if you found someone you like, you should do everything to get them to be yours. Don't let reasons such as they already have someone else to hinder you. Maybe I was hoping that even if I married that guy, you will one day come to get me."

This. She's hoping for me to steal her. But she's rejecting it now. But this sounds really like the core of my desire back then. I'm doing everything to get them before, not minding the means. But the first thing that stuck out from all that she said was to steal someone from another.

"I didn't know most of it would stick on you. And worst, it sets you on the path to stealing someone's beloved for 4 years. It's great that you've changed but the essence is still the same as what I told you."

"But one part that I didn't tell you was how you treasured each of them. Leading to your situation now. You've really grown to a great man like I told you but you're shouldering everyone on your own. If you continue taking in someone, you'll be buried."

Miwa-nee looked over me with eyes full of concern. She's really thinking about my future.

I didn't treasure them though. Only now that my desire changed and I started taking responsibility for those who stayed did I start treasuring them. They're mine, after all.

"Miwa-nee…"

"Still can't believe it? Akane, you do hate me now, don't you? It's fine. I deserve that. Because of my selfish venting, it made him like that."

Miwa-nee turned to Akane. I see, she predicted that Akane would react like that. She knew that what happened ruined the love we had for each other.

"N-no. I just can't believe it. He was sleeping. How did it get imprinted in his mind? But out of all the reasons I can think of, this confession from you is the most plausible."

Akane removed my hand that was covering her mouth and blurted that out. What she said makes sense. Is it really possible to have those imprinted in my mind that it grew into a desire? But her confession really is the closest and most possible reason.

"I also don't know. When did you start having that desire?"

"A week after you left, I witnessed a confession happening. And that immediately ignited my desire."

Hearing that, Miwa-nee sighed again. Like confirming that it's really because of that night.

"See? I'm sorry. That night might've really changed you."

"Husband, I think Miwa-nee is right."

Even Akane was convinced. That got triggered because I accidentally saw that confession. And those words of Miwa-nee from that night turned into a desire.

"You're right. Then can this be cured?"

"It might be too late. It has been 5 years. It's already deeply rooted in you. I'm sorry. I'll take responsibility for that."

As I thought. Even if it can be cured, can I really stop this desire completely?

"How will you take responsibility?"

Akane asked instead of me.

"You'll hate me more, Akane."

"No. Miwa-nee. I don't want to hate you. It's true that I kind of want to hate you but for husband and Minoru's sake, I will not do that."

This silly girl, she's putting down her hate for me. I'm really lucky to have her.

"Akane…"

"I'm your wife. This much I can tolerate. I'm still the only girl special for you, right?"

"That won't change, silly girl."

My extreme possessiveness only beats for her. She'll always be the special one.

"Then that's enough. Miwa-nee, how will you take responsibility?"

Akane smiled hearing my words then she turned her head back to ask Miwa-nee again.

"I just wanted to lecture both of you about being an adult. Why am I put into this situation? Haa. Since Ruki's desire was my fault, I will satisfy it to take responsibility."

"Miwa-nee..."

"I'm not done yet. Don't be too happy. I'm still a married woman, Ruki. I may have forced my decision before but that doesn't change the fact that I'm already tied to another man."

"I know that. Just give me a chance, Miwa-nee."

A chance is enough. I won't blame her for this desire. I don't regret everything I've done after all. 

"Do I still have a choice? I set you on that path, I have to take responsibility."

"Thank you Miwa-nee."

"Idiot husband, why are you thanking Miwa-nee. She's just feeling guilty so she had no choice but to satisfy your desire."

Akane retorted. Err. She's right. I'm really stupid. The one most affected by this confession by Miwa-nee is this silly girl.

"She's right, Ruki. Work hard but don't forget what I told you earlier. You two. Start thinking about the future. You can ask me or better, ask your parents."

"Yes."

The future. We're growing up. Not just me, all the girls around me as well. The time to decide what to do for our future will soon come. Kana will soon decide first. Maybe I'll ask her what she will do after she graduates.

"Akane, can I borrow Ruki for a second?"

"Alright. I'll reheat the tub, husband. Follow me in after you're done."

Akane looked at Miwa-nee and after a while, she conceded. She's making a concession for my desire again. This silly girl. I'll make it up to her later.

"Now that she's gone…"

"Miwa-nee."

After Akane left to go to the bathroom, Miwa-nee closed in on me and pulled me in her embrace.

"Shush. Don't talk. You two made me remember. You unsealed all those memories."

"I have no idea you looked at me like that before."

I responded and hugged her back. I remembered the time she used to do this. And yes, it's comfortable but I thought nothing wrong from it.

"I'm the worst, right? But it's true."

She used to look at me as more than a nephew, but she decided to forget all that. Now that it was brought up again, did it come back? I don't know.

"I'm not blaming you for being the reason for this desire, Miwa-nee. It made me be who I am right now. I don't regret anything that I've done."

"This idiot boy. That's why I'm feeling this guilty. You became like that because of me when you could live normally with Akane."

Ah. She's right. Living normally with Akane. Just like what I told Nami, that will certainly happen if this desire hadn't manifested. Loving only Akane. From a normal perspective that's a satisfying life.

"Like you said, it's too late now. And Akane, she's still here with me, being the special silly girl for me. And you too. I can't stop wanting you to be mine Miwa-nee, and I don't hate it."

"What have I done? To turn you like this…"

In essence, she's successful at her initial aim to make me look at her as well. I ended up wanting her. I want to steal her from her husband.

"Don't think about it anymore. I'll be stealing you soon, Miwa-nee."

"Now I don't know if I will be amazed or sad."

With a complicated expression on her face, Miwa-nee gave me a smile.

"Can I at least kiss you again, Miwa-nee?"

"Akane is waiting for you."

Just like how considerate Akane is to my desire, Miwa-nee wanted to make it up for that silly girl. She's already guilty enough to ask for this moment.

"I'll be spoiling her soon. But right now, you're the one in my arms Miwa-nee."

"This boy… go on. Maybe I also wanted that. You made me remember those times, I'll apologize to Akane again."

Miwa-nee's face closed in on mine. I didn't miss that chance to kiss her again. And my arms pulled her closer to me. This woman is the reason for my desire. I can't afford to blame her. In fact, I'm even thankful for her. I met a lot of girls who showed their affection to me, making me grow to who I am right now.

"Miwa-nee..."

"Stop the useless talk."

This time, Miwa-nee was the one kissing me more aggressively. Unlike yesterday night, she's sober and she knows what she's doing. Is this her suppressed feelings for me?

Using her tongue, she invaded my mouth and entwined her tongue with mine. Right now, maybe I'm the one occupying all her thoughts. She's indulging herself to me. I have to respond back. To make her understand.

With all those kisses, we ended back to the sofa, with me on top of her. I can see from Miwa-nee's eyes the affection she has for me. Even if she doesn't voice it out, I can feel it. This is like the love that Akane and the other girls shower me.

Her arms tightened and I let myself fall on top of her, putting all of my weight on her. Her mouth keeps on seeking mine. With every kiss, she's conveying the affection she has for me all those years.

I don't know if it will continue or she's just pouring it all out. All those emotions she suppressed in exchange for satisfying her parents.

Soon, only kissing proved to be not enough for me, I broke off our kiss and I went down to her neck, a few kisses at first, it then grew from licking to sucking it. Miwa-nee's hands were on my head and back. She's not rejecting it. She's even pushing me to do more.

I really became encouraged.

I was about to go down again but Akane's face suddenly surfaced on my mind. That silly girl, she's waiting for me. I don't want to make her sad. I want to see more of her smile…

I stopped and looked at Miwa-nee. She was confused about why I stopped but then realization dawned on her. She also got too into it.

Her flushed face that looks like she's drunk, reddened even further. Then she turned her face away from me. Not daring to look me in the eye.

"Go… This is enough, right?"

"I'll make time for you Miwa-nee. I really want you."

"Don't say anything more. Akane. Go to her now."

"Right."

I stood up and her arms naturally released me. I started walking to the bathroom but my eyes were still on Miwa-nee. But until the end, she didn't look at me again, she even turned her body face-down on the sofa.

Taking off my clothes, I opened the bathroom door and Akane's already there, dipping herself in the tub.

"How did it go?"

"It went well."

"That's great…"

"Akane, it's fine to show me if you're upset."

This silly girl, she's trying hard not to show it on her face but it's clearly written on it.

"No. I'm not upset, husband."

"You say that but you're pouting."

"Come and spoil me. I want to feel you more today."

"Alright. I'm getting in."

Her pout never left her face but it's fine. I understand what she's feeling right now. She's jealous. I have to make it up to her. I won't get tired doing this for her.

Right after I got in, Akane stood up and repositioned herself to lean her body to me. She took my arms and put it around herself.

Looking at how she's acting right now, I can't help but smile.

This feeling.

Do I love her? Maybe, I do now. In the heat of that moment with Miwa-nee, I remembered her. I don't want to make her wait and sad. I want to see her keep smiling.

Is this it? Am I starting to remember that emotion?

I want to make this silly girl smile, pamper her and take care of her. Now and in the future.

I still don't know about the other girls, but to Akane, I'm now feeling my heart beating fast for her.

Now that I know the reason for my desire, I'm starting to remember that emotion. No. This is my feelings for her that I have forgotten.

This silly girl. I can feel it. This is not just my possessiveness now. It's still there but this one's different. I love Akane. This is love. This is the love I have for her all those years. Auntie and Miwa-nee is really right. We do love each other back then. And now, it's all coming back to me.

Knowing the reason about the origin of my desire unlocked this forgotten emotion I have for this silly girl.

At the same time my arms tightened around her, I nibbled on one of her ears and whispered.

"Akane, I think I love you now."

When my words registered on her mind, Akane stiffened. Slowly, her head turned to me, her eyes staring directly at my eyes. She's crying. Her tears started flowing.

"C-can you say that again?"

She couldn't believe it. I guess that's the normal reaction. But I'll repeat it for her. Putting this emotion I'm remembering just now, I smiled and told her once again. The words she wanted to hear.

"I love you, Akane."