Chapter 215: Progress (2)

"Blockhead. You don't need to flower up your words. Let's sit there..."

Shizu-senpai scowled to hide the hint of red which appeared on her face. I still don't know whether she's beginning to like me or she just wanted the company to spend the unexpected free time we managed to get.

"Ah. In that case, let me assist you, senpai."

I walked over and held out my hand to her.

This time, she took it albeit reluctantly after staring at my palm for more than 20 seconds. Her hand felt rough on the surface which speaks for her hardworking personality.

I tightened my grip on her hand and supported her as she stood up from her seat.

Without letting go of her hand, I pulled on her as we moved from her table to the long table where we ate the cake last time. When I looked back, Shizu-senpai's head was lowered to her face. This is probably her first time holding someone else's hand.

"Onoda-kun. You can let go of my hand now. There's no reason for this, right? It's only a few steps from my table to here."

"I have my reason, Shizu-senpai. I'm trying to take advantage of this chance."

I smirked and my answer instantly flared her up that her lowered head lifted to look at me.

"Then all the more reason to let go, Onoda"

"Just 5 minutes, senpai. Can I hold onto this hand for a little more?"

We already reached the table and sat next to each other. Of course, I let her sit first before moving my chair near hers.

I'm really trying to take advantage of this moment with her. After this, my next secretary work will be on Friday. I couldn't just show up to see her when there were my other girls who also wanted my attention. Even if they don't say it. It always shows whenever we're together.

"Haa… Why am I getting swept by your pace?"

Shizu-senpai sighed and resignedly stopped pulling her hand out of my grasp.

"Because I'm kind of an expert when it comes to it?"

"You... Alright, I give up. Treat this as me rewarding your effort for today."

In the end, she used the word 'reward' to ease her mind from letting me hold her hand. What I did was a bit scummy but yeah, she's more accepting of this straightforward approach than going around in circles.

"Then I'll gladly accept and savor this reward."

I smiled at her before fixing our hands. From just grabbing it, I slowly moved my fingers to fit in the gaps of her fingers. Her whole palm, as well as her fingers, really felt rough to the touch. Regardless, it's still pleasant.

As I was fixing our held hands to cross our fingers together, my eyes were fixed on her face, fully observing her reactions. Seeing her real self like this is truly fulfilling but is this enough to make her fall for me? I don't think so. This is just her giving up resisting from my advances. Whether she liked it or not, I will only know if she told me. It's hard to read what she's thinking.

"Stop staring at me like that, Onoda."

"Alright. I should really stop making you flustered. It feels like I'm forcing you to produce that kind of reaction."

"… I don't have any experience with this kind of thing. Anyone who approached me with the same intention as you were either used by me like the Vice President or shut down before they could say it. But you… why am I allowing you to do this?…"

Shizu-senpai shook her head. Her expression really looked troubled. She's still unaware that my approach was different from the others. Also, they're all looking at her facade, not the real her beneath that.

"Isn't because I've managed to see through your mask?"

"That's not all. I can just push you away and not deal with you. But here I am, letting you hold my hand and spend time with me, alone."

Ah. Right. She could do that. Shizu-senpai is confused about why she was doing this.

"I see. Have you ever liked someone, senpai?"

"No."

"Then what do you think of me? Your honest thoughts."

She lifted her eyes to observe me. Processing what she really thinks of me from all our interactions.

In the end, she whispered 3 words before lowering her head.

"… I hate you."

Hearing that from her, a bitter smile couldn't help but form on my lips. Good thing her eyes are lowered and she didn't see that.

Hating me is understandable but hearing it directly from her... It kind of stings.

"I see. Thank you for being hone--"

Shizu-senpai cut my words off.

"I'm not done, Onoda. I hate you, yet, I enjoy spending time with you."

"Huh? That's kind of contradicting."

"You asked for my honest thoughts. This is it."

Even if it's contradicting, I guess knowing that she enjoyed this time with me was enough to decrease the sting that I was feeling from hearing that she hated me.

"I see. Of course, you already knew that I'm the one enjoying this the most. Being here with you, it's relaxing. Even when we spent it in silence earlier, it's not as strained like the first time I was here."

"Really?"

"Un. And seeing you smile at me made it even better. I'm looking forward to seeing more of you that was still hiding in that shell of yours, senpai."

"… Then work harder for me."

"Is it fine? Even if you hate me?"

"Blockhead, you probably misunderstood. I didn't hate you as you. What I hate is how you enter into multiple relationships."

Err... I'm the blockhead when she's the one who said it vaguely. Of course, I will think of that as her hating on me.

But still… if that's what she hated, even if I managed to make her fall for me in the future, she wouldn't become mine.

"I see. If I'm not in any relationship, will you accept becoming my girlfriend, senpai?"

"… Maybe."

Shizu-senpai whispered her answer while stealing a glance at me.

"Then this means, I don't have any chance to make you mine."

"Is it really impossible for you to settle for one?"

"I told you already. I'm not normal, senpai. If I choose only one, then it will not be Nami or you. It will be my childhood friend who's living with me right now."

"Haa. You're always this stupidly honest… Don't you feel tired? You have all those girls you needed to satisfy but here you are, trying to get my affection as well."

"I do feel tired but this is how I am, senpai. I love all of them. Maybe what I'm feeling for you will also evolve to that. Each of their smiles is enough to chip away some of that feeling of tiredness. Just like how I like it whenever I see your genuine smile."

I cupped her face with my free hand and used my thumb to trace her lips. Pulling it on the side to turn it into an arc.

"If in the end, you chose to distance yourself from me. Seeing you become more confident to live as the real you is enough reward for me."

"…"

"You know. I accept it. There's the possibility that not everyone will stay with me in the end. Even so, I still love them and that's all that matters."

"… Then why are you making that sad face when you mentioned that possibility?"

"Eh? Did that appear again?"

"Onoda, could it be that you're just forcing yourself to accept that possibility? Truthfully, it's affecting you too much that it led you to work this hard for them, or us.

"Perhaps that's how it is, senpai. I'm afraid that that possibility will come true..."

"Alright, this is already five minutes. Thank you for granting me this reward."

I smiled at her and let go of her hand.

It's true. I'm really afraid. That's why I want to build that future for us. If they see it, they will not think of leaving me anymore. Such an optimistic view, eh?

"Give me your hand this time."

"Huh?"

"It's my turn to ask for a reward, right? Like you asked, all this time that I'm with you, I never put on that mask."

"I see. You're right. I have to reward you for it."

Once again, I put my hand on top of her palm and this time, it was Shizu-senpai who crossed our fingers together. Unlike earlier where it was only me who tightened my grip on her hand, even though her fingers were slightly shaking, she also did the same.

"Honestly. I liked this sensation of your hand on mine... I don't always say this but thank you for helping me, Onoda."

Shizu-senpai lifted her head and locked gazes with me, in time, her lips turned into an arc, showing that genuine smile of hers. Her free hand also went to my hand that was on her cheek.

She's usually straightforward with her words so these words coming from her were her honest thoughts.

I was already having an urge to take my phone out and snap a picture of hers but I resisted. She'll be flustered again if I did that.  Also, both of my hands weren't free.

"You're more than welcome, senpai. And like I thought, I truly like you. Even if you keep hating me, this one will not change."

I squeezed her hand softly and used my thumb to caress it. When she felt that, she also did the same and our eyes both went down to look at it.

"At first I only wanted to help you for Nami's sake. But when I realized I like you, doing this for you became my sole reason."

"… Blockhead."

Shizu-senpai whispered before her head slowly leaned on my shoulder. Most possibly, she didn't know what to say in response so she resorted to showing it in her action.

When I felt her head on my shoulder, I moved my hand on her cheek to fix her position so that she would be comfortable resting her head on it.

Like this, silence once again reigned between us. I could smell the scent of hair. I could hear the quickened beating of her heart. I could feel the soft breath she was exhaling. I could see how her hand tightened her grip on my hand and how her eyes continued to watch it.

Spending the rest of our time in silence again, we're inching closer. The scary Shizu-senpai which those close to her knew has already crumbled before me. This is the real her, someone who also needed a helping hand.

Maybe if it's not me who did this for her, given that she's straightforward, she would have already started dating the guy. Good thing no one did it before I showed up.

Soon enough, the rays of sunset that were entering from the room's window dimmed and the sky gradually turned dark.

When the time to leave comes, we naturally separate. Her cheek that was pressed on my shoulder was a bit red and both of our palms were sweaty but it didn't bother us. I just took out my handkerchief and wiped it for her.

"Well then, Shizu-senpai. See you again on Friday. Please go easy on Satsuki."

I said after picking up my bag.

"… Don't worry, I will."

After hearing her affirmation, I nodded at her and turned around. However, before I could start walking towards the door, I felt two arms slipping on my sides encircling me into an embrace. Afterwards, I felt another thud on my back when she leaned her head on my back.

"Shizu-senpai?"

"... See you on Friday."

After Shizu-senpai muttered that, her head and her arms released me. She can also be this assertive but yeah, it just meant she didn't want me to see the face she was making at the moment.