CH 1.9

Riding the subway, I take out my phone. Although I don’t look at the handbook, I feel like I roughly know how to use this. Turning on the internet, I search for the thing I want and find there is a mart near that house. I only acquired a small machine, but the world has become very convenient. A convenience always calls for an inconvenience. I lived well when I didn’t have this, but if I live after I lost this, I will surely feel like not living. 

It is better to not use this unless it is for something important. I put the phone in my pocket and lean my back near the door. The things inside my pocket are the credit card and phone given by Yeon Woojeong. There are only two, but they feel weighty.

I get off the subway while touching the card. Remembering the map I saw on the phone earlier, I take a walk and find the mart.

I enter the mart and go to the section where they sell packaged underwear without turning my eyes elsewhere. Then, I take out two pairs of black underwear, and after thinking for a while, I take another one. On my way to the cashier, while holding three underwear, I see a kid running with a snack in his hand. When I stop and turn my head, there is a snack stand right next to me. Looking at various kinds of packaging, I choose a potato chip.

As I put them on the counter, the worker scans the barcodes with an expressionless face by rote. I take out Yeon Woojeong’s card that I kept touching inside the pocket and hand it out.

“Do you want a bag?”

There’s a paper with ‘50 won for a plastic bag’ written on it attached to the cashier. When I nod after being silent, the worker takes out a plastic bag and puts the items inside it. After that, the card is swiped in the reader. 

As soon as the card gets swiped, indescribable joy and anxiety run against each other and strike my head. The receipt comes out after the phrase noting the payment is completed, and the worker returns it along with the card. Holding the rustling bag, I leave the mart.

After returning to the officetel, I open all the packages of underwear and put them in the washing machine. While the washing machine is operating, I go to the living room, open the snack, and put it on top of the table. I put one of the thin and round snacks inside my mouth. It is salty and tasty.

I lean my head on the sofa and blankly stare at the ceiling. The tips of my fingers are cold and my eyes are hot. Peace brings pain. Even though I know the world never stops betraying me, I pray for this space, this time, to not betray me —at least for the time being. However, without fail, a wish is like a boat on the raging waves. It always gets turned upside down.

Just like what Yeon Woojeong said, a package arrives in the afternoon. All the things inside the big icebox are frozen lunch boxes. There are only bottles of mineral water and beer cans inside the refrigerator, and only ice cubes in the freezer. 

I put the lunch boxes inside the freezer. I never thought I would eat something like this. Well, he must be eating something like this, since the trace of the kitchen being used is near non-existent.

After recycling the empty icebox, I have nothing to do. As though he lives organized, the house is clean. I return to sit on the sofa. Then, I turn on the TV with the remote control on the table. I look at a few channels, but I don’t get interested.

And so, I spend the time doing nothing until 7 p.m. I’m hungry and the only foods are the lunch boxes. I’m thinking of eating that, but Yeon Woojeong has not come yet. But still, I think it is weird to call him just because of this, so I wait till 8 p.m. then I take out a lunch box and warm it. 

The lunch box with brown rice, dak-galbi, and vegetables is better than I thought. It is better than the lunch box sold in the convenience store, but it is different from homemade food. Still, considering my circumstances, this is a banquet.

I don’t need to wash the dish because it is a lunch box. I only wipe the spoon, then I throw out the emptied lunch box. After brushing my teeth and taking a shower, I change into the dried underwear. I fold the other underwear, but because there’s no place to store them, I put them under the sofa. 

I didn’t do much, but it is already 10. Yeon Woojeong still hasn’t come. I think it’s already time to get off work, but thinking of the piling documents on his table, and how he was on his phone all the lunch, it seems like he is very busy. It is strange to keep occupying a house without its owner. Whenever I stay somewhere, I always hope for the owner to never come, but I don’t really feel that way to Yeon Woojeong. 

I can wait until he comes, but I’m not used to waiting. It is better to sleep early. After turning off the light, I lay on the sofa and covered my body with the blanket.

I close my eyes. Falling asleep even though I’m not sleepy is one of my few abilities.

Noticing a presence, I wake up from my sleep. When I open my eyes, the light disappears. It seems like the light in the entrance is turned off.

Yeon Woojeong soon walks to the bathroom. I wonder why he uses the bathroom in the living room instead of the bathroom in his room. Come to think of it, it might be because that one is a bathtub, and this one is a shower booth. I close my eyes again.

The water sound doesn’t stop. After taking a long shower, Yeon Woojeong walks again, and his steps passing by the sofa stops. I open my eyes. He looks like someone who forgot that I am here.

“What are you looking at?”

A light, soundless laugh flows out at my question.

“Did I wake you up?”

“Yes.”

“I see. I’m home.”

He gets me speechless. Yeon Woojeong walks past the sofa and opens his bedroom. Before entering, he says good night and then closes the door. As I have already gotten used to the darkness, I can clearly see the closed door. After looking there for a long time, I close my eyes again. It takes no time for me to sleep again.