CH 3.2

The book room entered my eyes. I went inside and skimmed through the books, but the desire to read didn’t really come to me. Still, I was curious about the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, which Yeon Woojeong had fun reading, so I took the first volume of the novel. Sitting in the chair, I buried my body there. It was so squishy that it was rather uncomfortable. After turning around, trying to find a comfortable position, I returned to the first position and opened the book. 

Even after reading a few sentences, I couldn’t concentrate. I was a dunderhead and couldn’t study well even when I was in school. The only books I ever read were textbooks. Though I used to listen to someone reading a book when I was very young…

After closing the book, I turned my head to look at the bookshelf. Some books located at the bottom attracted me. The old book had a title in Chinese characters on the side cover so I couldn’t read it, but somehow, it piqued my curiosity. I got up, took that book, and opened it.

What stood out in the chapter consisting of only words that seemed dense and difficult were the traces of Yeon Woojeong scattered around.

Some words had checkmarks, some sentences had question marks, and some had asterisks. Meaningless lines scribbled in the corners. The small letters seemed to be roughly written, but it was not hard to recognize.

It was amazing. He surely studied diligently for him to be a prosecutor, but I never thought Yeon Woojeong would be so diligent as this. I thought that even if he had a smart brain, he wouldn’t work hard. 

As if some pages were difficult, one of the corners was completely dark. Cloud, burning sun, flat face, meaningless doodles. I touched them with the tip of my finger. Somehow, a smile bloomed.

What kind of student was he? I remembered the callus on his middle finger. The nerd who sat next to me cried, saying it hurt whenever he grabbed the pencil. I also remembered he said that it was a medal that could be owned by those who studied hard and they also compared them to each other.

As I flipped a page, I chased after the traces left by Yeon Woojeong. The time went fast. When I checked the time because I was hungry, it was already time for dinner. I felt like no matter what kind of book I read, it couldn’t be more fun than this one.

It seemed like Yeon Woojeong would be late as well today. I considered waiting for him, but finding it was ridiculous waiting for him when it wasn’t like we would eat together, I took out the ingredients to cook. There were vegetables trimmed for stir-fry, curry, and such in the vegetables ordered by Yeon Woojeong. I took out the stir-fry ones and canned ham.

I made fried rice and the portion was big. So, I pondered eating the remaining portion tomorrow, but then I thought of giving it to Yeon Woojeong. Yeon Woojeong said he wouldn’t eat what I cooked, but who knew, maybe he would eat it if I gave him.

Now, I was the only one receiving unilaterally, and my debt kept accumulating, but I had to reduce it even a bit.

After setting the remaining fried rice on the plate, I put it on the dining table. It seemed like he wouldn’t know if I just left it like this, so I went to the book room and rummaged through the desk drawer.

I took out the memo pad and ballpoint. Thinking about what I should write, I noted down three letters.

[eat.]

I brought along the memo paper and attached it to the plate. Then, I moved the plate to the corner of the table so that it could be easily noticed. If I leave it like this, he’ll eat it tonight or tomorrow morning, won’t he? I exhaled lightly and turned around.

.

.

.

The sofa was also soft, but the bed was surely more comfortable. I liked the sensation supporting my body whenever I turned around.

I felt like I dreamed about something. Though, I couldn’t remember it.

I put back the need to use the bathroom, but then I got up. Leaving the bed, I slowly walked down the stairs while holding the railing. There was no need to be extra careful because the light on the ceiling automatically turned on whenever I went up and down the stairs.

My eyelids were heavy. As I slowly blinked my eyes, I opened the bathroom door. The bright lighting suddenly rushed in. 

The sound of water pouring down. The steamy shower booth with the door opened. The white and firm arms, the smooth sides yet rough muscles, and the curve that appeared under the waist, also…

I roughly closed the door. The sound of the door closing shook the house like thunder. My heart ran wild like the first time I stole the wallet. As I breathed out in a stutter, I glared at the closed door. 

The water sound didn’t stop. I took a step back, and then I picked something that got stuck under my feet. Yeon Woojeong’s clothes were scattered.

There was a faint scent in the shirt I picked up. As I shoved my nose, I smelled a sweet scent. It was a scent that couldn’t be smelled from Yeon Woojeong.

Is this really Yeon Woojeong’s? I went to the kitchen and turned up the light. The white shirt entered my sight. Also… on the inner side behind the buttons, something red was stamped there. The moment my heart started beating hard again, the bathroom door opened.

I turned my head. Yeon Woojeong walked out with the robe worn loosely; water was dripping down from his hair. He looked at me with a somehow blank stare. Suddenly, anger rose inside.

“Why did you wash without locking the door?”

Yeon Woojeong blinked his eyes twice at my question, then he slowly parted his lips.

“Ah, sorry.”

A tone that didn’t feel sorry at all. I wanted to choke the white neck with water drops flowing down on it.

“You’re not sleeping?”

Yeon Woojeong asked slowly while picking up the scattered clothes. Then he took the shirt in my hand and walked past me, entering the laundry room. There was a faint smell of liquor from where he passed by me. Disgusting smell.

“Sleep.”

He came out of the laundry room, putting his hand on my head, then he walked past me again to his room. After roughly disheveling my hair touched by his hand, I threw the memo attached to the plate in the trash can.

I also wanted to throw away the fried rice, but there was nothing to take care of the food in Yeon Woojeong’s house because he only ate lunch boxes. I stared at the imposing plate, then I went up to the second floor and laid down on the bed. 

I pulled the blanket up and closed my eyes, but the senses from earlier tormented me. The sounds and scents, colors and lines, the contour… I crumpled the blanket. My thighs and abdomen throbbed hard. I felt like my chest was burning with the unknown sense I felt for the first time.

***

Since my sleeping place had changed, I didn’t hear the alarm anymore. Even if I didn’t wake him up, Yeon Woojeong woke up on his own. Well, that’s obvious. He would have woken up alone before I came here, so there was no way he needed my help.

Today, I dreamed again. There was someone struggling under me in my dream. No, actually they didn’t struggle. Even when I was choking the white neck, Yeon Woojeong was smiling. As if provoking, ‘can you kill me?’

Some other days, I dreamed another dream. There was a knife in my hand, and as I stabbed the white neck, the clear scarlet drops of blood scattered in the air. When I convulsed out of the dream, I repeatedly clenched in and out my hands to make sure of the reality.

Thanks to that, I couldn’t sleep. I continuously woke up from the light sleep, and I couldn’t help but wake up earlier even though I didn’t hear the alarm. If I blinked my eyes while waiting for a while, I could hear the sound of Yeon Woojeong heading to the bathroom. I waited until he left without doing anything, then I went downstairs.

The plate I left that day was still there the next morning. I ate that fried rice. After that, I was the only one who ate what I made.

Yeon Woojeong didn’t work overtime every day, and some days he returned earlier, so I had dinner before he returned and went to the second floor. Even if I shut myself on the second floor, Yeon Woojeong didn’t look for me. He said I made him feel lonely, why should he eat alone, but it was only him playing with me.

I was tired because of the stuffiness of an unknown thing filling my heart and the dreams that kept continuing. I was sure that I would get angry if I saw Yeon Woojeong’s face. Furthermore, I felt like I would do anything because I got angry. However, looking at how I kept killing Yeon Woojeong in my dreams…… I couldn’t understand why the anger formed my dreams. It’s not like Yeon Woojeong did anything to me.