CH 9.9

I heard the sound of the car leaving from behind. I turned around, looking at the leaving car, then entered inside.

It was quiet inside the house. Still, it would feel full soon when Yeon Woojeong got home. For now, I wanted to take a shower. When I met with the warm water, I felt it was a pity that we finished only after one round. There was no time to enjoy the afterglow because I got flustered.

Even so, the late regret subsided as I washed myself. After drying my hair, I entered the book room.

A yellow album. The most prominent color on the bookshelf was on the far right of the bookshelf, making me wonder why I only found it now. Sitting on the soft and round chair, I opened the first page.

There was only a group photo on the first page. The album itself was small enough to fit a couple of photos in one sheet.

There were children and adults in the picture. I wondered if it was a school photo, but looking closely, it didn’t seem like that. The first person to catch my eye was the young Yeon Woojeong, one head taller than the other children around him. 

The young Yeon Woojeong. Although he obviously had his childhood days, it felt somehow weird.

Yeon Woojeong was looking at the camera with his eyes scowling. He bent as if he hated the hand on his shoulder, giving the impression he was about to jump out at any moment. The young face, which had not changed much, showed complex emotions to be described only as rebellious.

The atmosphere and expression were completely different from the current Yeon Woojeong. The sleeves of the clothes and the hem of the pants he was wearing looked short and worn out.

I only looked at him blankly as if my head were hit, and then I slowly looked around. The one who put his hand on Yeon Woojeong’s shoulder was that chairman. His face, thinner and younger than when I saw him before, still had a benevolent smile on it. 

Next to him was Kim Sarang, the groom in the wedding, Jang Heemang, who greeted me, and… Kim Jihun as well. Everyone was young, but I could recognize their faces.

When I only looked at Yeon Woojeong, he looked like a middle and high school student, but when I looked at other children together, they looked like elementary and middle school students, so it was difficult to estimate their age. Yeon Woojeong not only stood tall but also caught the eye by himself because of his unique eyes and appearance.

The clothes worn by the children were all worn out. And it was the same with the building in the background.

Feeling a strange emotion, I turned the album over to the next page. The background of the next picture was completely different from the first picture. There was a garden with green grass and white tables with food placed everywhere. There was a family in front of it. Seok Jungwon. It seemed like it was his family. The woman I saw at the café that day was with him.

Seok Jungwon and a woman looked like his wife, a daughter, and another daughter. A family holding each other and smiling brightly. And next to them… Yeon Woojeong in a school uniform, looking sideways from a step away.

The picture was not black and white, but Yeon Woojeong seemed to be the only one painted black. He was completely an outsider in this picture. My heart ached when I saw the young boy who seemed to be unable to blend in.

When I moved on to the next page, Yeon Woojeong was right next to their family this time. I somehow pictured that process. Wouldn’t the person with the camera have told him to stick to the side, and that chairman found Yeon Woojeong away and pulled him closer? Yeon Woojeong, who was looking straight at the camera, was smiling awkwardly. Like a person smiling for the first time.

I extended my fingers carefully and touched Yeon Woojeong in the picture. I felt strange. It felt like I was happy, yet I was also sad. I never dreamed that there would be such an image in the past of Yeon Woojeong, which I did not know of, which I wanted to know everything about, which I wanted to have. 

I turned over to the next page. Some people were standing in front of a gate plate. Without any doubt, there was Yeon Woojeong and that man here, too. 

[Yeojeong-won]

A familiar building and name.

As soon as I saw the picture, I couldn’t help but know how Yeon Woojeong was helped by that man and what kind of person he was to Yeon Woojeong.

Ah. A strange feeling of helplessness, petty anger, and unknown joy were mixed.

I could never snatch the existence of that man from Yeon Woojeong. However, he and I may have lived similar times and moments from time to time. Then, rather than sympathizing with me…

I moved to the next page. Yeon Woojeong was alone in this picture. He was looking somewhere in the wide garden. I had no idea what was at the end of it, but he looked like he could disappear at any time.

Despite knowing that I could not grab him because it was a picture, I touched his face. The face in the picture somehow looked faint.

There was Seok Jungwon and his daughter, and Yeon Woojeong in the next page. Looking at the banner at the top of the picture, it seemed like it was a high school graduation ceremony. Yeon Woojeong was holding a bouquet, and the red roses really looked good on him. Apart from my dislike of that man and this woman, I thought it was fortunate that Yeon Woojeong was not alone on this day. He was smiling in this picture, but he still looked faint.

Yeon Woojeong in a neatly worn uniform with his hair shorter than now. I wanted to borrow the eyes of those who saw him at this moment for a moment.

How would it be if he and I attended the same school? I had no good friend, and hated it if someone talked to me, but if Yeon Woojeong approached me, I would never be able to ignore him. Would he play pranks with a sly smile like he is now? Or would he scowl at me like in the first picture? I guess it would be good either way.

I kept my eyes on Yeon Woojeong for a long time, and as soon as I turned the next page, I took a deep breath.

Suddenly, there was Yeon Woojeong and I. Yeon Woojeong, who smiled with his arms around my shoulders in front of the snowy sea, and me, who was expressionless next to him.

Yeon Woojeong was smiling brightly. With his unique mischievousness in his face.

Yeon Woojeong’s face and smile were clear even though he was covered by large snowflakes. It felt like the time we spent together that day came to mind vividly.

So he was smiling like this.

My eyes suddenly felt hot. It was because I suddenly remembered what I said to him in the past. What do you know—that question. It was me who didn’t know. Yeon Woojeong smiled at me despite hearing that.

I’m not kind at all. After learning that Yeon Woojeong had no family, I was glad that there were no fences to restrain him. I hated that that man and his family were important to him, but I liked the fact that there might be a distance between them because they made him feel uncomfortable. It must be wrong to have this kind of thought.

Was he unhappy in the past? If he picked me up because of his unhappiness, I think I would hold that unhappiness precious… It’s a fact that I can’t ever say to Yeon Woojeong. 

I felt a little down. How could Yeon Woojeong grow up like he is now? Can I be like him once I reach his age? I don’t think so. My world is so small that I can embrace nothing but him. It may be the mind, not the environment, that makes the gap.

Time flew by watching a thin album with only a few pictures. As it approached midnight, I heard the door open, and I immediately put down the album and went outside. As soon as I saw Yeon Woojeong, who took off his shoes with a tired face, I wanted to hug him. Without hesitating, I came closer and hugged him tight. He, tilted back for a moment, smiled and hugged me back.

“How have you been?”

“Good.”

“What did you do?”

“I saw the pictures.”

“Are you satisfied?”

I rubbed my cheek on his neck instead of answering. I was aware I was acting like a child, but I felt like I couldn’t stand it if I didn’t do this.

After doing that for a long time, Yeon Woojeong took me to the sofa with a smiling face and sat down.

“Ah, I can breathe finally.”

He loosened his necktie completely and buried his body on the sofa. He creased his eyes whenever he adjusted his position, and then he laid down using my lap as a pillow.

“What’s this? Cookie?”

“Yeah. I bought it.”

“This one too?”

Yeon Woojeong took the box and opened it. It was the one from Seo Jihee, and it was empty inside because I ate all of them.

“I was given that one.”

“From who?”

“My co-worker.”

He put down the box and then looked up at me. When I looked back absentmindedly, a vain laugh flowed out.

“You got a cookie from a girl, and you got mad at me like that?”

“What?”

“This isn’t right.”

“What? You are the only one for me.”

The eyes that playfully glared at me relaxed. He touched his forehead and smiled.

“Really, you speak beautifully without thinking.”

Yeon Woojeong lifted his hand and tickled my chin. When I avoided him because it was ticklish, he immediately put down his hand. We looked each other in the eyes without saying a word. A calming stillness surrounded us.

“Mr. Yeon.”

“Hmm.”

“Was it hard?”

“… I’m not sure. I didn’t know it was hard back then.”

As I caressed his head softly, he closed his eyes and opened them back.

“There aren’t many pictures.”

“I didn’t really like taking pictures.”

“You took a picture with me. Do you like it now?”

“It was our first picture. It came out good, right?”

“… yeah.”