CH 10.9

A thought came into mind as I mulled over his words.

“So even if the moment is good, the end might not be.”

I regretted it after saying it. There was no need to show such pessimistic thoughts. I looked down at the lines surrounding the statue. I felt Yeon Woojeong’s gaze. He spoke after a quite long silence.

“That might be.”

I looked up at the voice adorned with a faint laughter. Even though it didn’t sound optimistic, the useless thoughts disappeared. His words didn’t sound pessimistic, strangely.

I walked slowly. I could look at the pictures with a more relaxed mind. This was my first time visiting such a place, but I didn’t feel bored. The quiet atmosphere, dim lighting, the color of the walls, and the letters written in between. Everything was like a painting that could be appreciated.

We got closer to the exit. The word “and” decorated the side of the exit illuminated by white lights. Somehow I felt like I came out after being locked for a long time.

“You prefer to eat right away, right?”

I nodded. Perhaps because I had lunch early, I was hungry.

The car left the quiet art gallery and entered the main street. There were many people on the narrow street, so the car moved slowly. I looked around. The lined restaurants were gorgeous, and all the young people walking down the street were flocking there.

“What will we eat?”

“Pizza. Pasta. Steak. Anything you want.”

Pizza. It must be tasty. I got even hungry.

We left the car in an alley. Following Yeon Woojeong, the place I arrived at was a small restaurant. The sign was small, and the door was low, so I had to go in while lowering my head.

I climbed the stairs to the rooftop. Light bulbs lit up along the railing, and the stoves prepared in the middle were heating the place. There were quite a lot of people eating here as though it wasn’t that cold. We sat down near the railing.

“Have you been here?”

“No. Miss Kim recommended this place.”

“She knows a lot of places.”

“Yeah. Let’s visit one by one.”

The staff brought over the menu while I nodded. I took a look one by one because there was a lot of menu, and Yeon Woojeong told me to choose everything I wanted to eat.

“This, this one, and this.”

Yeon Woojeong turned over the menu after I chose pizza, pasta, and steak with the recommended mark. 

“What about drinks? Do you want a cocktail?”

“I don’t drink.”

“There are also non-alcoholic ones.”

“No.”

“Then what about this one?”

“Okay.”

Yeon Woojeong called the staff and ordered an orangeade for me and a non-alcoholic cocktail for himself. Music flowed from a speaker placed in the corner. Yeon Woojeong bobbed his head lightly to that sound.

The bustling sound seemed to warm the surroundings. Just a few hours made me forget the troubles of these days. I didn’t believe that everything would be okay, but I wanted to enjoy this time without thinking about anything.

“How did you decide with your work?”

“I chose to quit.”

“Until when are you going to do it?”

“Until the next person comes.”

When I said the lie nonchalantly, Yeon Woojeong nodded frankly.

“What did Ms. Jihee said?”

“She invited me for a meal.”

“Did you decide to go?”

“Yeah.”

“Good for you, Kim Jiho.”

“What?”

“You got yourself a good friend.”

Friend. Are we friends? I am not sure if we could meet again after eating once. Or if she, who had a lot of friends, would think of me as her friend.

I felt uneasy after lying. Not telling and lying are different. The boundary between things that I felt nonchalant about and things that touched me exceptionally became blurred.

However, it didn’t happen if I left him in the dark. I didn’t want to use his comfort for this kind of thing, and I didn’t want to get comforted about my lowest point.

“Ah, what should we do with the remaining room?”

“The remaining room?”

“If we use one room for mine and one for yours, then there’s one left.”

“You don’t put your books there?”

“That would be good.”

“Just do what you want.”

“It’s our home, so how can I decide on it alone?”

He blurted out while smiling. My fingers stiffened. There was a huge difference between thinking secretly that it is our home and hearing Yeon Woojeong say it is our home.

I rubbed my palms. He looked as if he was excited to move to the new house.

“Why didn’t you move if you have a house?”

“There was no reason for me to move. And it’s annoying if there’s a lot of rooms.”

I madly liked the fact that I became his reason. I would erase everything that tried to ruin this moment.

My heart boiled. I kept my eyes on Yeon Woojeong, who was tilting his head, looking outside with his legs crossed. I had the thought of wanting to keep this moment. In a painting, photo, whatever. It would be easy to just take out my phone and open the camera, but I didn’t blink at all because I didn’t want to miss even a second.

Then he suddenly turned his head and looked at me. What can I do for him? I wanted his time to remain as a memory similar to mine.

I had nothing. I also could do nothing well. But I knew what he liked.

I pulled the corners of my lips up. The light smile that remained on Yeon Woojeong’s face faded.

“Why are you smiling?”

It was awkward to smile. I wanted to just pull down the corners of my lips because I never liked my smiling face. But the black eyes detained me. Suddenly, I wanted to be honest.

“There is nothing I can give to you.”

I wished Yeon Woojeong would frame and hang me as well. If he looked at me for an hour, two hours, not realizing the time passing. Although his value and mine were too different. 

He uncrossed his legs. The face looking at me got softer. A subtle smile decorated his lips. A light wind blew once. The song flowed like the wind. The sound around us filled our silence. Yeon Woojeong opened his mouth slowly after a moment passed.

“Some wish me happiness, and some wish me misfortune.”

“…”

“So I always think about the next.”

Yeon Woojeong’s head tilted sideways lightly. I felt his gaze scanning all over my face. I liked the trace left by his gaze.

“But when I’m with you, I think about now. You are giving me the moment.”

He closed his eyes in arch. It felt like the words he said poured into me.

“So don’t think you can’t give me anything.”

The calm voice made me want to pour out everything. I thought this moment would lead to the end. Yeon Woojeong is my life. I will return to my life no matter what.

The staff came and left the pizza on the table. I filled my mouth with thin and crispy pizza to suppress my emotions from coming up. Yeon Woojeong pushed the orange drink to me with a smile. The song wandered around like the wind.