Chapter Forty-One - Big ol’ Mecha Cats

Chapter Forty-One - Big ol’ Mecha Cats

Chapter Forty-One - Big ol Mecha Cats

On every governmental document, there is a tiny checkbox, entirely hidden in the documents code.

This checkbox can only be checked off by solving a complex cryptographic code, the sort that adds a few megabytes to the size of the documents file.

It essentially reads as such:

If you are a samurai, check the following box:

Once checked, the document is considered complete regardless of how much or how little was filled on it. An analyst will check to determine if the providence truly does belong to a samurai, and will then file the document accordingly.

--IRS Blue book instructional manual.

***

To be entirely honest, I really didnt feel like working, and yes, contrary to what Lucy believed, shopping for stuff totally counted as working.

Mister Tentacles was over in the corner, doing nothing, and both Lucy and I had a lot of free time all of a sudden. There were at least a dozen very fun things we could have been doing instead.

But no, I had responsibilities and stuff to take care of first.

I sighed. Okay, from the top then, I said.

Wonderful! Myalis said. If you wish to follow the list Gomorrah outlined for you, then the first purchase you should look into is a method by which to secure your place of residence.

Lucy leaned back, still hugging the dumbass close. That might be tricky, she said.

Whats that? I asked.

We dont exactly have a place of residence.

I blinked, then gestured around the lavish room. Whats this then?

A hotel room? Its really nice, and Im sure with your crazy samurai money you could keep us here for a while, but its not permanent, she said. Whatll happen if you get hurt? Will we get kicked out? What if we want more kittens? Theyre already two or three to a room, which is fine since we have big beds here, but thats a temporary solution.

I leaned back into the very comfortable bed. Damn. Alright, so we need a house. Like, a proper place to stay in. Myalis, can you give me an idea of what a place would cost?

The range of prices for a home is rather huge, you are aware. Perhaps a few additional factors to narrow it down? Im assuming you want to stay within the same hemisphere?

Uh, right, thats true. Same city? Maybe... a place with enough room for all the kittens, and then a few more. I sat up then pulled my legs in and started to pull my boots off. My feet were... completely fine. It felt as though they should have been achey, but my alien boots were too good for that apparently. Maybe we can buy a place and renovate it?

The good news in that case is that quite a few buildings were recently evacuated and are being dealt with by local insurance companies. Some small businesses have also surrendered their leases.

Hmm, I said. It wouldnt cover everything though.

Buy different kinds. Like, Gomorrah said wed need some sort of electronic warfare sort of thing, right? Buy a cat like that. Oh, and one thats all shields and stuff, and one thats got, like, a cannon.

This is sounding expensive, I said.

Approximately four hundred points so far, Myalis said.

I reached up and pulled Lucy down onto me. Youre lucky Im such a softy, I said.

You really are, she said.

Okay, lets take this a little more seriously, I said. Mostly because the sooner we finished, the sooner I could ravish the girl pressing herself up against me. Let's say we spend five hundred points or so on home defence. Mobile stuff, like your giant cat drones. Thats... a fair amount of points, but not too many. I think... yeah, we should diversify things a little. Maybe a couple of more mobile drones, and a few specialized ones?

I heard the dumbass Myalis was controlling move closer to the bed. One electronic countermeasures drone. One heavy weapons platform, and three simpler weapons platforms?

Maybe replace one of the simpler ones with a drone that can use non-lethals? I asked. As a sort of first resort.

Non-lethal for someone trying to mess with the house, or the kittens? Lucy asked.

Mostly because I dont want the kittens to get caught in the splash damage, I said. Or for them to see someones head blow up. Though I watched the same shows as them, it wasnt too shocking to see that kind of thing, even in real life.

I see. I have picked out what I hope are the best options for what youre looking for, Myalis said. Do you want me to project an image of what they would look like?

Ohh! Lucy said as she rolled off me.

Myalis was such a fucking clam-jammer. I sat up just as five fuzzy holograms materialized, then sharpened into more precise images.

The drones looked like cats. Giant mechanical cats, without any fur and made of metallic plates in a dull black that I suspected the holograms couldnt do justice.

Those look like theyre pretty big, Lucy said.

Approximately the size of a Bengal tiger, Myalis said.

The five looked pretty similar, though one had a broader back, and another had a lot more fins along its sides and where its ribs would have been were it an organic creature. The heavy weapons platform and the electronic warfare one, if I had to guess.

These are Se-Cat-Urity Drones, Mar--

Wait wait, I cut her off. Se-Cat-Urity drones? Were you even trying with that name? Lucy giggled, which didnt help any.

Very well then, Ill send a ticket to have them renamed... Sent. Acknowledge. Accepted. The drones have officially been renamed. They are now classified as Personal Use, Security Systems, Model Y.

Lucys giggle turned into a full-blown laugh, and I started to look for something to throw at Myalis.

***