Chapter Forty-Six - Impeccable Mathematics

Chapter Forty-Six - Impeccable Mathematics

You want to distract an entire forum of people for a few hours? Mention a samurais weapons, then point out some random detail.

Just be sure to be somewhat wrong about it.

Hours of pleasure, guaranteed.

--Anonymous commentator, 2021

***

Okay, I said. So, two-ninety... whatever, I said.

Jessica nodded.

Now, we need to factor in a couple of things, I said. Whomever buys this place needs to renovate it. A whole lot. Not to mention cleaning the place up.

Thats factored into the price, she said.

I doubt it, I said. You know, I almost bled out over here? Hell, I used flesh eating nanite grenades in there.

The realtor blanched. Pardon?

Theyre designed to melt flesh so that the antithesis cant use it anymore, I said. The nanomachines dont last that long, dont worry, but youll still need specialists to clean up.

I will make note of it, Jessica said.

Now, there are two other things you should tell your clients. One, theyre on the hook for fucking up Longbows gun. Two, Deus Ex had to come over here for stuff, and shes a vindictive little bitch. Like seriously, just yesterday, she gave a couple dozen people cancer because it was faster than poking at them herself.

Jessica nodded slowly.

I leaned back, then hummed. How much can you bring the price down by? I asked. Id done my share of negotiating for stuff before. I wasnt great at it, but I could manage in a pinch. Buying stuff from a street vendor wasnt quite the same as buying anything worth hundreds of millions, but I figured some of it would crossover.

Jessica looked straight past me for a moment. We could, if we lower our expectations, and convince some of our clients to make a smaller profit, lower the price of the building all the way down to two hundred and seventy-five million.

I snorted. Thats barely a discount.

Its a significant drop in price. My clients will barely make any profit at that rate.

I shuffled a little. Ill give you one hundred million, I said.

Thats a solid no, Jessica said. I cant drop the price by that much.

I gestured for her to wait. Calm down, I can spice it up a little, I said before turning to Myalis. Hey, which one of my catalogues has the most valuable stuff? That is, if I were to sell it on an open market?

Bit creepy, Lucy said as she looked over the floor.

I had to agree. It had a very... carnival-after-dark look to it. You need to look past all the junk and stuff, I said. Theres a lot of room here.

Lucy nodded, then looked over her shoulder. Think shell take your bait? she asked.

Myalis hovered over. Some of her clients were actually listening in and communicating with each other. There was something of a bidding war behind the scenes. Some wished to get rid of their shares of the building the moment you came in, others wished to purchase those.

Really? I asked. Bit weird, no?

I suspect that its more a matter of potential risk. As it is, the share price has skyrocketed. I could influence it downwards, but such an obvious manipulation would be noticed.

So, the value of the building just went up? I asked. Thats the opposite of what I want.

The value of anything is entirely based on a persons willingness to pay for it. In this case, the owners of this building seem entirely willing to write off the monetary value of the building if it means obtaining something that is, to them, more valuable still.

Shes saying that the big-wigs want a go at your shiny shiny alien tech, Lucy said. And its worth more than this drafty old place.

That made sense, I supposed. Buildings were plentiful, exclusive blueprints to alien tech weren't. So, think we can get a better deal out of it? I asked.

Oh yeah, Lucy said. Just pretend that youll borrow the money from someone else, then when Jessica back there panics, say that youll be willing to trade the place for, like, peanuts.

Myalis wavered from side to side a little. As much as I would find that amusing, some of the clients on the line arent entirely clueless about the value of whats being offered. Theyre the ones trying to hold the price steady where it is. Others are driving it up, likely in hopes of selling their shares soon, and still others are selling now while they can. Its an interesting little scenario.

Awesome, I said. It was starting to dawn on me that maybe Id be the proud owner of... a place that needed some really extensive renovations. What am I getting myself into? I asked.

The usual amount of trouble, Myalis said.

Lucy giggled. Usual means that theres also an unusual amount somewhere.

I have a tier list, Myalis replied.

Lucy pulled me in for a hug, and I easily reciprocated. You alright? she asked.

I nodded. Im fine, I said. Its just a lot, you know? But... hey, we might have a place all to our own soon. A really expensive one.

Its kinda cool, she said. The kittens will love it.

Its kinda stressful, I replied. And yeah, they will, which isnt an endorsement of anything, Ive seen the kinds of things they love.

A cough from behind me had me turning. Jessica stood there, somewhat awkward. Miss Stray Cat, I think were ready to continue our negotiations.

***