Chapter Forty - Real Politics

Chapter Forty - Real Politics

Chapter Forty - Real Politics

I dont know when it happened, but somewhere along the way, people split along two lines. And yeah, I know, thats a generalization, which means its generally wrong. Anyway, on the one side, you got those that understood the more pragmatic side of politics, the realpolitik and the reasoning behind some of the bullshit.

Only some of it, mind you. Theres some bullshit thats just people being dumb.

On the other side of that line you have the fanatics. Wildly devoted to whatever echo-chambered message theyve been fed over and over again until its all they know, and they live in this constant state of thinking theyre right.

Anyway, I dont have time for all that political stuff.

--Jerry Grant, political commentator, 2045

***

Mayor Dupont looked at me for a long moment before saying anything. Is that why youre here? To ask that the city does something about this mess you caused in the sewers?

Two things, I said, my hand coming up in a peace symbol. First, I didnt cause the mess. The lack of foresight in letting a literal gang of self-mutilating lunatics take care of the sewage caused the mess. Second, Im not here to ask, Im here to inform you, personally, that shits about to hit the fan.

And thats a concern for me?

I blinked. Are you dumb? I asked. No, you cant be. Not if you got this fancy office and morning blow jobs. Ill bet youre corrupt as fuck, but you need to be able to put two and two together.

Dupont placed his fists on his desk and glared before leaning back. Lets presume that this sewer problem isnt your fault, which Ill only treat as a hypothetical. What do you expect the city to do?

Isnt the entire goal of the city to take care of... you know, the city? Roads and power lines and building permits and sewage?

No, the purpose of the city as a governmental institution is to make a profit by means of taxation and regulation. Punishing those who fail to comply with our rules and lubricating the economic machine for those who require assistance.

What? I asked.

That means that yes, we take care of infrastructure, because we are better situated to take care of that infrastructure than the companies which need it to exist.

I shook my head. Alright, I dont get it.

He sighed. Then go take a civics course and get out of my office.

Are you going to pipe it out to the ocean then? I asked.

We could, he said.

Arent there environmental agencies thatll throw a fit?

Dupont laughed. Girl, we are those agencies. And we only throw a fit when it means we can extort more cash from some corp that doesnt know to pay the bribes before the problem becomes obvious.

I shifted on my seat, thinking. I didnt quite know what to do, which was really annoying. So I leaned onto my elbows and asked a dumb question to pass the time while I mulled things over. Youre being very open about all of this. I could be recording you. Actually, I am literally recording you, theres no could about it.

Oh, I dont particularly care, Dupont said. In my time as mayor I have made a lot of the right people very happy. They know that any replacement might rock the boat. The voters could line up to suck my knob and I still wouldnt care about their opinions. They can clamour and scream and riot all they want.

Can you talk about your knob a bit less? Theres a kid in the room, I said.

Talk realpolitik, not dick, Rac sing-songed. Then she grinned. Realpolidick.

Please never repeat that again, I said. I refocused on the mayor. You know, I came in here expecting to threaten the shit out of you, not to get lectured about the benefits of corruption. I havent even pulled out my awesome new sword to skewer anything yet. Im kind of disappointed.

You wanted to solve everything with violence? Dupont asked. In that case, politics might not be the right line of work for you, Stray Cat. Here the violence is either delivered verbally or through an accidental car bomb.

So, you wont do anything to help until literally millions of people are fucked over? I asked.

Ill do something to help when the right people are fucked over, Dupont corrected.

I stood up. Right then, I said. Thanks for your time. I still think youre a sleazy fuck though.

Are you going to do anything about my doorframe? he asked. From the tone I think it was just a parting jab.

Fuck your doorframe, I said. Come on, Rac, were going to have to fix our problems ourselves.

And by ourselves, I meant that I had to make some new friends.

But first, I needed a shower and about ten hours of sleep.

***