Volume 8 - CH 24

Chapter 24 – Wataru Rolling in the God’s Palm

What is it? I was just about to get permission to go back to the Castle in peace. God of Entertainment-sama is smiling, but I have a bad feeling…

“Um, God of Entertainment-sama, what can I do for you?”

“Just a few more minutes. Everyone will be here soon. I heard that you, the Otherworlder, were coming, so I quickly gathered everyone.”

Everyone? Because I came? A bad premonition swelled. I want to go back to the Castle somehow. I look at Creator God-sama, but it seems that Creator God-sama really wants to drive God of War-sama into a corner. He is still trying to spread rumors about him. It’s exhausting.

Can’t Creator God-sama just use an oracle to tell the world about the God of War-sama’s peeping incident? While I was escaping from reality, the God of Gastronomy-sama and the Goddess of the Forest-sama came. They are beautiful.

“We’re all here, aren’t we? It would be better if the God of Gastronomy spoke instead of me, so please do.”

“I see. I understand. I would like to ask you a favor, Wataru-san.”

“A favor?”

If it were a request from the God of Gastronomy-sama, I would have nodded my head immediately, but the presence of the God of Entertainment-sama made me hesitate to make an immediate decision. I don’t want to be deceived, to be honest.

“Yes, I was just talking to the God of Entertainment, and I was wondering if you could open a luxury liner for us down there?”

“Huh? Well, when you say open up, do you mean to let people on the luxury liner?”

I feel like I’m being told something very unpleasant. My head hurts.

“Yes, the spread of food and entertainment on the luxury liner will enrich the culture down under. It’s a welcome thing for me and the God of Entertainment.”

Sure, the experience will spread. But it won’t benefit me. It would only cause me more trouble, and no matter how much the God of Gastronomy-sama asked me to do it, I couldn’t nod my head.

“Well, I’m sorry, but it’s difficult. If I open the luxury liner, not only will the number of ships I can summon decrease, but I won’t be able to use the luxury liner freely. It would be a problem because there would be no benefit for me, and it would only increase the danger.

I heard the voice of the God of Entertainment say, “Not even the God of Gastronomy can convince him?” Is he a black-hearted person? I really don’t like that type. It is also depressing that I refused the God of Gastronomy-sama’s request.

“Hmm, you’re right… Hey, Creator God-sama, can’t you do something about it?”

“Hmm? …Well, I think Wataru-kun will nod if you give him some benefits. For example, you could give him a date every time you visit him on the luxury liner. Why don’t you play with him in the pool and give him an ear waxing?”

“There’s no way he would nod his head for that. Right, Wataru-san?”

Ear waxing, he said…

“Is ear waxing the one with the lap pillow?”

“Look, he bites. Wataru-kun has a weakness for a little instant eroticism, you know. I think he will fall for a date and an ear waxing (lap pillow version) every time you go to the luxury liner. The rest is up to the God of Gastronomy.”

“I’m not so sure about that. Is it really okay for a god to go on a date with a human and clean his ear? It seems like I’m taking advantage of him, and I don’t like that.”

“It’s not like it’s going to be a physical relationship, so why not? Whether it will be a physical relationship or not depends on his efforts and the feelings of the God of Gastronomy, but if there is hope, you can’t resist it.”

I don’t want them to be explicit in front of me. But I can’t resist a date with the God of Gastronomy and… an ear waxing. No, no, it’s too easy, no matter how much I want it. What am I supposed to do?

“Really? Then I wonder if it’s okay? Wataru-san, will you grant my request for a date and ear waxing with me?”

“Yes! No, wait a minute.”

I let my normally sluggish brain work at full speed. If I don’t think this through properly, the God of Gastronomy-sama, or even the God of Entertainment-sama, might overrule my request.

“I have never seen such a serious expression on the face of the Otherworlder. Have you ever seen it, Creator God-sama?”

“I don’t know. I think I saw a similar face when he was involved in a war. I think it was when he was deciding whether or not to run away. Didn’t you see it, God of Entertainment?”

“I didn’t know there was such a scene. I missed it.”

The outsider is bothering me.

“Well, I wanted to go over a few things, so I have a few questions.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Well, first of all, God of Light-sama. Isn’t this time an interference with the lower world? You were angry with Creator God-sama for giving me information about Girasole, but…”

“Why are you asking the God of Light? I am here.”

“It’s because Creator God-sama is breaking the rules. It’s a matter of trust.” Said the God of Entertainment-sama.

“You are noisy, God of Entertainment.”

It is you who are noisy.

“Yes… normally that would be interference with the lower world, and that would be unacceptable. But because of Creator God-sama, your ship is treated as a sanctuary. So interference with the sanctuary is allowed. But until your ship became a sanctuary, there was almost no interference in any of the sanctuaries.”

So there is no problem. I’ll pretend I didn’t notice the part where she expressed her dissatisfaction with Creator God-sama.

“Thank you very much. So, is there anything I shouldn’t spread around if I do open it?”

“It’s a difficult decision, but it’s safer for the gods if you keep the machines for sale, the pictures, the books, and the sanctuary hidden. Other than that, they will not be able to develop it immediately, even if they get the hint from the look of it.”

“Are you saying that it is not good for the technology to spread directly to the public?”

“Yes, that’s right. We prefer trial and error. If they were given everything, it would only lead to a distorted society.”

I already feel distorted, but it would be wise to keep quiet.

“Next, I have a question for the God of Gastronomy-sama. If I could have a date with the God of Gastronomy-sama and have you clean my ears, I would be able to do my best in most things. But the problem is, I can’t do it when the God of Gastronomy-sama is on the luxury liner. If you’re busy or have something you can’t miss, that’s fine, but if you don’t come to visit, I can’t have a date with you or get my ears cleaned. I can’t accept that.”

“Wataru-kun, do you realize how pathetic you sound with such a serious face?”

“I doubt it. If I did, I wouldn’t have the personality to say such embarrassing things.”

“I know, right? God of Entertainment, you bought a camera, didn’t you? Why don’t you record it?”

“I’m just charging my batteries. Didn’t Creator God-sama buy one, too?”

“I’m also charging my batteries. I have been watching it over and over again.”

“Creator God-sama, you have a bad personality.”

These two pillars really bother me.

“It is kind of embarrassing to be told so directly. Whenever I don’t have anything important to do or any business to attend to, I will be there, okay?”

“Yes! Then… Oh, is it okay if we start after I buy a new luxury liner? It would be hard for me to use the Castle if I do it right away.”

“Yes, you can start at your own pace. Please do your best.”

“Yes, I’ll do my best!”

“Will you give me a minute?”

A kind of slim, nervous-looking male god suddenly appeared. He didn’t come to visit the Castle, did he? My memory of the male gods is a bit fuzzy.

“Ara, God of Commerce, what’s wrong?”

“It’s a principle of mine to take care of annoying things as soon as possible. God of Gastronomy, let me have a word with him.”

So this is the God of Commerce?

“Now, Otherworlder, you know that the Ship Summoning ability collects money in the divine realm. If you open the luxury liner, even more money will be collected. If I don’t do anything, the money won’t flow.”

I guess… I can’t say that I’m not involved in this matter.

“Nice to meet you, God of Commerce-sama, and thank you for all your help. I understand that the cause is me, and I will do whatever I can to help, but what can I do?” 

“Use the money. It can’t be helped that a lot of money is flowing into the divine realm because of the Ship Summoning, but there is a limit.”

“Um, I plan to buy a new luxury liner with the money I make.”

“You are free to spend the money you earned. In addition, I will give you the money I collected in the divine realm. You can use it in a way that is beneficial to the world. You can use it to your advantage a little, but I will not allow you to play around with it.”

Am I right in interpreting that to mean, “I’ll give you money, and you’ll do charity work? I’ve heard that my fault can distort the money, but I can’t help but think that it’s the fault of the Creator, God-sama. And it’s hard for me to find much I want other than the goods of the ship.

“Um, for example, can I use the money to have a luxury liner staffed by slaves?”

“Hmm… money can go around, but I wouldn’t say it’s for the good of the world.”

“What about buying illegal slaves and letting them go?”

“If you buy illegal slaves, the money will go to the bad guys, and the slave trade will spread even further. That would be counterproductive.”

It’s hard to say. I’ve never thought about what’s good for the world.

“For the world, you mean like… building a standard orphanage? And… shouldn’t we give to the church first?”

“…Even decent churches are eventually exploited by the scum at the top. You wouldn’t be able to tell the difference, so you shouldn’t give money to churches. Building an orphanage is a good idea. As long as you have a contract with the people you hire that doesn’t allow any wrongdoing; you should have no problem bringing in the funds.”

“How about I ask the God of Commerce-sama to show me a decent church, and I’ll donate to it?”

“I don’t mind, but if you donate large sums of money, eventually, people will sniff it out and take advantage of it. You’ll just have to repeat the small donations.”

“…I’d rather not.”

It’s a hassle. It’s hard to be useful to the world. The money I spent easily exceeded 100 billion yen, and it can’t be spent on the orphanage alone. Is there anything I can do?

I don’t like the idea of building a port or developing a port because I think the nobles would be involved. Ah, anyway, if I open the luxury liner, I’ll have to deal with the nobles… It’s too much trouble.

“Right now, I can’t think of anything else but an orphanage, so why not look for the next thing while building the orphanage? If push comes to shove, I can handle it by building many orphanages in different countries.”

I can’t think of anything, so I’ll just postpone it.

“Hmm, that’s good. Think about it carefully.”

“Yes, I’ll think about it.”

Finally, it’s over. I only came to ask for permission, but the conversation has grown unexpectedly. There’s a lot to think about. Is it worth it for a date and an ear cleaning?

…Well, normally, it would be underwhelming and not worth it, but the partner is a goddess. And even though I know I’ll be rolled around in the gods’ palms… for a date with the God of Gastronomy-sama and an ear cleaning, I can’t resist. I’ve answered that I’m going to do it, so I have to do it.

“Creator God-sama, can you please bring me back soon?”

“Wait, Wataru-san, please wait. Can you please hear my request as well?”

There was the Goddess of the Forest-sama. I’d like to avoid her just because I somehow know what she’s asking, but… I guess it’s impossible not to listen to her story. The goddess, with her beautiful and ample breasts, is lovely. I would like to grant her wish. But it is difficult for me to enter the dangerous forest.

“What is your request, Goddess of the Forest-sama?”

“You see… I will tell you where it is, and I want you to save the dark elf children. Can you help me?”

I knew it was about that. What should I do? I have so many things to do that I don’t think I’ll get around to it.

“Is that a no?”

The Goddess of the Forest-sama gave me a sad look as I struggled with this.

“There are more and more things to do, and I’m afraid I won’t get around to them. I must open the luxury liner and build an orphanage.”

“There is only one person I can ask to take care of these children. Can you do something for them? If it’s okay with you, I’ll do the same as the God of Gastronomy, a date, and an ear wax… Is that not enough for you?”

That’s… I can’t refuse; I don’t want to go into the dangerous forest. But I can’t refuse the request of the Goddess of the Forest-sama and, at the same time, accept the request of the God of Gastronomy-sama under the same conditions. And she looks so sad.

Most of all, I want to see the full breasts of the Goddess of the Forest-sama from below in her lap… I’ll have to do my best. And I want to know how she can wax my ears with those ample breasts of hers. It’s hard to see her hands, isn’t it?

“No, I can’t refuse when the Goddess of the Forest-sama asks me so much. I’ll do my best.”

“Thank you very much. Wataru-san.”

“Ah, he accepted. Aren’t you too easy, Wataru-kun?”

You’re so annoying, Creator God-sama. If the Creator God-sama hadn’t suggested such a wonderful condition, this wouldn’t have happened. I don’t know whether to be angry or praise him.

“But, Wataru-kun, if there are only three days when we visit you, do you really need to have your ears waxed twice in that time? It will be clean with only one of them.”

“…..Eh?”

“Don’t worry; it’ll be fine, Wataru-san. Even if they are almost clean, we will take our time and clean your ears carefully. It will be completely clean. Right, God of Gastronomy?”

“Y-yes, you’re right; we’ll take our time and clean your ears carefully, no matter what comes first or second. Don’t worry.”

Is that okay then? …It’s good, isn’t it? It’s the situation that matters. If they do it carefully, there’s no problem.

“You are right. As long as you take your time and do it carefully, it’ll be fine. Creator God-sama, please don’t say anything that will surprise me.”

“If you don’t mind, that’s fine. Anyway, God of Light, why don’t you ask him for something? There is still a day open for you, you know?”

“I don’t have anything to ask for right now. I’ll ask you when I have the chance.”

“I look forward to it.”

A date with the God of Light-sama and an earwax, that’s great, too. Even if my ears bleed, I’d like to ask for it one day. But suddenly I’ve got a lot to do. Will Girasole help me?

“Oh, um, is it okay if I tell the members who are with me about this request? I think I can get more cooperation if I tell them.”

Good, that’s fine. If I can use the names of the gods, it will be easier to convince them. Also, the God of Commerce-sama said that I could pay the fee for the request to Girasole with the money that the God of Commerce-sama would give me. That’s very generous of him. Now let’s ask Creator God-sama to bring me back.