Chapter 375 - Conflicted

Everything happened so quickly that Feng Xinying and Xie Yuansheng were panting and sweating. They were left for wanting more. Feng Xinying was sitting on him while he was still inside her. He held her tightly as though holding her for his precious life. He rested his face in her neck and kissed her collarbone. His warm breath were tingling Feng Xinying and she wanted him never to leave her again. 

After a while of feeling blissful, he looked up at her face and kissed on her lips again. He had restricted himself so much the past few days that he was scared of even looking at her. He would make food and run back to his room just so he didn't see her because whenever he would see her, his mind would go in a tizzy of lewd thoughts. Why was it becoming so impossible to resist a person he felt he was seeing for the first time or was it that he had known her for long? His feelings were all mixed up. And today she didn't resist him, which meant that she was attracted to him as he was to her. Or was it just a one night stand? He shuddered. 

He looked at her and said, "Feng Xinying, I am sorry but I can no longer resist you." 

Feng Xinying stroked his hair and goaded, "Why?" She wondered if he remembered anything of the past. Even if there were a small memory in his mind, she would work on it. 

"I have no idea," he replied. "But it looks as if the two of us fit together like pieces of a puzzle. I am confused at the moment as to why do I feel what I feel for you." 

From her past experience, Feng Xinying knew that Xie Yuansheng used to forget what happened the next day what happened in the previous drunken stupor, so this was her chance. "You said that there was a little girl, Yini whom you chased in your dreams. Who is that?" 

Xie Yuansheng didn't want to come out of her. He felt at home, secure and safe. He kept holding her once again rested his face on her neck. With one hand he circled her round and firm breasts while holding her waist with the other one. "I don't know… I chased her in my dreams because I love her…" As soon as he said that he wanted to bite his tongue. What would Feng Xinying think? Was he after her because of lust? "I mean- I mean, she is just a three year old child. I really want to find her…" 

Feng Xinying smiled as she rested her chin on his head. His love for her was so deep-rooted that he chased her in his dreams. The doctor had said that he had locked his current memories somewhere and they had to be unlocked slowly and softly. Only sweet memories were there, memories, which comforted him. "Do you like me?" 

He hid his face in her and replied, "Yes… I can't resist you… Please don't be angry with me." He was honest with her. He didn't know why his mind started bending towards her and from where did he muster enough so much courage to tell her, touch her, feel her and cherish her? He had started weaving threads of a rainbow. Was it all the alcohol in his system? He didn't want to go there. He just wanted to live in the moment. After a pause, he added, "But I want to find Yini. I feel she must have grown older. I think she needs me. I think she is waiting for me…" 

Feng Xinying felt she could cry. Even if he didn't remember her, he said that he couldn't resist her, which meant that he had started developing feelings for her somewhere in his heart, howsoever little that place was. She had to hold on that thread. "Then don't… Don't resist me." 

He looked up at her again, amused at her sentence. He thought she might get angry or kick him out, but she said just the opposite. "What about your husband?" he asked as he gently lifted her from his lap and placed her on the bed. 

As he lied beside her, she asked, "What about Yini? Do you love her so much?" 

Xie Yuansheng loved Yini and he had to find her. Yes, he had to find her. "I have to get to my Yini," he replied conflicted between her and Feng Xinying. Yini was in his dreams while she was in his life. Why was it that the two of them were tied to different people? He turned to her with a pained look in his eyes. He loved Yini and now he was getting attracted to Feng Xinying. Who was conspiring against him in this situation? This entire world was involved in conspiracy and each and every little speck on this earth was involved in this conspiracy. 

"What will happen once you find her?" she asked softly as he curled his arms around her waist and brought her closer. 

"Ah!" she winced a little. 

He raised his head and asked, "What happened Feng Xinying? Did I hurt you?" 

She bit her lip and thought that if she told him that she was pregnant, he would react differently as he was already torn between Yini and her. She decided to keep that a secret for some days. She had to until it became too obvious but she was hoping that in the meantime his memories would return. Even though she had to keep the process light, she had to quicken the pace. "I have eaten a lot and so I don't like any pressure on my stomach."

"Oh! Sorry," he removed his hand from her. He got up and covered them with a blanket. He kept his hand on her thighs and once again buried his face in her neck. All this felt so natural that he relaxed and soon fell off to sleep. He didn't realize as to when his hand slid between her thighs and when she turned towards him and kept her legs on his. 

--- Until he woke up in the morning!