103 We Can Not
“Sorry.”
“Eh?”
“I can’t,” Arthur said as he removed his hand from Aurora.
“Wait-” Aurora stopped her words as the waiter started placing their orders. She forced a smile until the waiter was no longer around their table. Aurora did not understand what Arthur meant, moreover, the man’s attitude seemed as if nothing had happened. “Arthur, what do you mean you can’t? We can do it, as long as you-”
“Aurora, the food has arrived. We’d better eat first,” Arthur cut in with a faint smile even though his eyes did not smile at all.
The woman bit her lower lip, then looked down at her favorite food that Arthur ordered. Again, she could not predict the attitude of her ex. As Arthur said, Aurora began to reach for her fork and knife and ate the food with mixed feelings.
There was no conversation between them, Arthur seemed to be enjoying his food while looking at the incredible view from their place.
Arthur glanced at Aurora, who looked gloomy and lethargic while bribing the beef steak. “You don’t like the menu? Should I have ordered the same menu as me?” Arthur asked.
“Huh? A-ah, no need! I like it, really. This is my favorite menu here,” Aurora replied with a sweet smile, not wanting to make Arthur trouble and considering it a burden. “I didn’t expect you to remember my favorite food.”
.....
Arthur paused, grabbed the wine glass, and took a sip. He did not want to respond to Aurora’s words because he knew the woman would be even more nostalgic when they were still dating.
After finishing eating, Arthur still did not want to discuss the conversation earlier, which made Aurora annoyed because the man kept avoiding it. Because Aurora did not bring a vehicle, Arthur was the one who would take the woman home safely.
“You didn’t get in the car?” Arthur asked in surprise, Aurora remained standing beside the car without any intention of getting into it.
Aurora glared in annoyance until they wanted to go home, Arthur did not mention the previous discussion at all. For the past few days, she had been trying to get Arthur to meet her in order to make him love her again. She realized that her ex-boyfriend had changed a lot from the one she used to know.
“Are we going to continue like this?” Aurora asked. “I want to-”
“We’ll discuss it on the road. Now come on in,” Arthur interrupted, staring at the woman flatly. Without waiting for Aurora, Arthur got into the car first.
Aurora obeyed Arthur’s words, she put on her seat belt, and when they were ready, Arthur started driving his car to take Aurora home.
“I told you, I can’t do it,” Arthur said, starting to speak in the silence between them.
Aurora looked down, her hands gripping the maroon velvet dress she was wearing. “Why? You really don’t love me anymore?”
“It would be a waste of time if we got back together.”
Aurora looked at the man with a hurt irritated look. “Why did you think that? You didn’t answer my question, Arthur! You still love me, don’t you?” Aurora asked, raising her voice.
Arthur pulled the car over to the side of a deserted street. He knew that this conversation would involve quite a bit of emotion, so he did not want to talk about it in the restaurant for fear of being noticed by other guests. Arthur took a deep breath before responding to his ex-girlfriend’s words.
“You’re not supposed to be like this, Aurie,” Arthur said, calling out the favorite name he had always used.
“I don’t understand your attitude at all. You can be a very warm and cold man at the same time! My feelings are like a toy for you, are you happy to treat me like this?!” Aurora hit Arthur’s arm with trembling hands, the nickname that came out of Arthur’s lips again made her hope for the man even more.
Arthur caught Aurora’s hand so she would not hit him again. He stared fixedly at Aurora, to be honest, this also made Arthur uncomfortable. Seeing a woman he used to love so much, had to come and beg for his love back. It should not be like this, even though Arthur was trying very hard to forget the beautiful woman in front of him right now.
“Sorry. I never intended to play with you, not at all,” Arthur said, gripping Aurora’s hand tighter. “But what I’m saying is serious, we can’t be together anymore. Everything will repeat itself and make both of us have to suffer again.”
The tears that had been held back for so long finally dripped down the woman’s smooth cheeks. “Can’t we work together to mend the relationship?” she asked, looking at Arthur with a hurt look.
Arthur could not stand staring at her for too long, he nodded slowly and preferred to look down at his hand which was still holding his ex-lover’s hand. There has been no intention to let go, for these two weeks he had tried his best not to touch Aurora’s even though she kept teasing him. He was afraid he could not hold himself back, which made him even more entangled in the shadows of their past.
Aurora smiled bitterly, removing Arthur’s hand from hers. “You really don’t love me anymore. I should have known, even though you just wanted to be nice to me, but I expected more.” Aurora’s voice was getting slower and hoarser; her tears kept flowing. The woman lowered her head, covering her face which made Arthur feel even more guilty.
“Aurie,” Arthur called softly as he tried to hold the woman’s hand again, but Aurora brushed it off roughly.
“Don’t call me by that name.”
“I don’t understand why you still love me after all those years. You’re beautiful, smart, classy, and everyone likes you. It’s not that difficult for you to find a man who is better than me,” Arthur said, starting to reveal the contents of his heart that he had been holding back all this time.
“It’s useless if I have all that if the man I love doesn’t love me too,” Aurora muttered very quietly, but Arthur could still hear it.
“I’m a jerk, Aurie. I’m worse than I used to be.”
“It’s because of me. I know you’re like that because of our relationship. You weren’t married until now because of me, right?” Aurora asked, looking back at Arthur.
Arthur did not answer, only returning Aurora’s gaze, which was still in tears. With his initiative, Arthur wiped the tears away.
“The reason I still love you is because of your caring nature and your knowledge of everything about me. You are trying to make me happy in your own way. You should realize why many women like you,” Aurora whispered. Her sobs grew louder, she was in between love and hate for Arthur’s attitude. The man refuses to be together, but his attitude continues to make Aurora hopeful.
“Auri-”
“I told you not to call me that if you don’t want to be loved even more!”
“O-okay. Come on, don’t cry. I’m really sorry. Your face will swell if you keep crying,” Arthur coaxed the woman like treating a child. Since he did not know what else to do to make Aurora stop crying, he took the body into his arms.
And it worked. In an instant, Aurora stopped crying in surprise.
“I’m sorry. I’m not ready to love someone again because I’m afraid the past will repeat itself.”
“Then I’ll-”
“I don’t want you to wait for me because I honestly don’t want to be with you anymore,” Arthur said honestly. He had to say it clearly so that Aurora would understand and not feel hopeful for him. “Let our relationship just be a thing of the past that can make you and me better people.”
Aurora bit her lower lip, her hand gripped Arthur’s white shirt. Her feelings of love were completely rejected.
“You can find a better man than me, Aurora,” Arthur continued as he let go of his embrace and then wiped the woman’s tears. He felt very guilty for hurting Aurora’s feelings, but this is how it has to be. Since the relationship ended, they had lived separately and Arthur did not want to go back to this woman in front of him. “From now on you have to open your heart, there are still many men who will treat you well, even after what I did for you.”
Aurora looked at Arthur sadly, Arthur’s current attitude was her fault. Arthur must be traumatized because of her, this is also one of the reasons why Aurora has been unable to forgive herself all this time. “If at that time I refused to help Dion, maybe we were still together,” Aurora said in a trembling voice.
“What happened in the past can’t be repeated. You don’t have to feel guilty anymore, it was my fault too.”
“Arthur.”
“Hmm?”
“Can we still be friends?” Aurora asked, making Arthur slightly surprised. “Are you going to avoid me again after this?”
Arthur turned his gaze in another direction, looking doubtful because he honestly intended to no longer have anything to do with Aurora.
“I’m really going to try to move on from you. So can we still be friends?”
“Wouldn’t it be difficult to move on if we still contacted each other?” Arthur asked.
The corners of Aurora’s lips curled downward, and her former enthusiasm subsided again.
“Okay, fine. We’ll give it a try, but if you get your hopes up on me again, I’ll just walk away from you, deal?” Arthur stretched out his hand for a handshake.
“De-deal,” Aurora said, accepting the outstretched hand, her smile again graced her beautiful face.
***
Kalea opened her eyes because her sleep time was a little disturbed. She was shocked and would have fallen if two strong hands did not hold her tightly.
“W-why did you-”
“Shh! Shut up, Zeline will wake up later.”
Kalea rubbed her eyes a few times to focus her eyes on someone who was holding her.
“Why did you come here, Arthur?” Kalea asked now in a lower voice.
“I miss you.”
“Shouldn’t you continue to be together-” Kalea did not continue her words for fear of saying the wrong thing.
“With whom?”
“Nothing.”
Arthur released Kalea’s body after they were in the other room. He deliberately moved his sugar baby from Zeline. “Don’t you miss me?” Arthur asked as he climbed onto the bed and narrowed the distance between them even more.
“I-I’m sleepy, Arthur. We’d better get some sleep.”
“I don’t want to,” The man refused, lifting Kalea’s chin and intending to kiss her if the sugar baby did not push her face.
“Your body smells of women’s perfume!”