SIXTY-FOUR: To a Quiet Rabbit

SIXTY-FOUR: To a Quiet Rabbit

Alden was stuck in the teleportation bay for so long that he finally took a seat on the floor of the phone booth-sized space and rested his back against the wall. About every five minutes, the security lady updated him and apologized again for the wait.

Theyd asked him if he was claustrophobic before telling him hed need to be here for a while. The problem seemed to be his very long stay on the Triplanets combined with his age and his lack of a psychological profile. Theyd wanted to know if hed been in a high-stress environment while he was away.

Probably I shouldnt have laughed.

Anyway, he was going to get a video call from a therapist who specialized in Avowed trauma soon. That would help everyone figure out if he was a healthy, happy new kid who could go to the intake dorms with the other baby Avowed whod recently arrived. Or if he was a damaged superhuman who needed to be closely monitored and kept apart from the general population for a while.

It makes sense.

Not so much for Aldenwhat was he going to do, preserve people to death?but if you imagined an S-rank with serious offensive power suddenly arriving back home from a bad situation

Alden thought the Artonans would probably do a decent job on their end of things under normal circumstances. They didnt have a reputation for dropping dangerously unstable people back on Earth, as far as he knew. But that didnt mean the Anesidorans should completely trust the process.

While he waited for his phone call, he rested his arms on top of his bag and accessed Wardrobe with a mental command.

He was just going to look at his tabs and his reward gift to make sure they were still there now that he wasnt on Artona I. He didnt want to open the present yet because if random stuff started appearing in the bay with him that would only add to the worries of the people who were trying to classify his threat level.

But, to his surprise, the image of the box in Christmas paper was gone.

When he focused on the empty space where it had been, words appeared:

[From: Mother

To: a Quiet Rabbit]

Alden was confused.

But a couple of seconds later, the particular mote of light that would let him access his main menus started flashing. Alden selected it and saw the Privileges button glowing again. The present is a privilege?

When he chose the button, he discovered a completely new option had been added to the category, and it was one hed never even heard of before.

[Choose Persona]

Temporarily forgetting his mental commands altogether, Alden lifted a hand and pressed it. Two large, semi-transparent information panes filled his vision. Each one had a picture of him as he currently lookedwide-eyed and dirtyin the top left corner. Each had a single additional tab with a logogram at the top. They both had a button at the bottom that said, Share Contract Verified Information.

The windows held a breakdown of his full Avowed profile. They included his rank, overall level, skill level, spells, stats, experienceall of it.

Alden had seen this profile with the share button before, when he was playing around with his interface. It was obviously the thing you would need for applying to schools and jobs, where they wouldnt want to just take you at your word that you could do some particular magic thing at a certain level.

But when Alden had seen it before there had only been a single, accurate profile. Now he had two to choose from.

And one of them was a lie.

Name: Samuel Alden Thorn

Preferred Name: Alden

Class: Rabbit

Rank: B Overall Level: 4

Commendation:Exceptional Bravery in the Absence of Obligation

Awarded by Fourth General Loh Alis-arth

Skills:

Let Me Take Your Luggage, B (Level 3)

Skill Type: item preservation (single item, total)

Flickerer, F (single level skill)

Skill Type: minor enchantment interruption temporary

Spell Impressions:

The Haunting Sphere, D

Light Candle, F

Trait:

Azure Rabbit

Trait Type: movement, limited to element ground

Enhancements:

Sympathy for Magic +4, Agility + 3, Dexterity +2.5, Speed + 2.5, Stamina +1.75, Strength + 1.5, Proprioception + 1.5, Appeal + 1, Visual Processing + 1, Processing +1.75 (in progress)

Recommendations and Merits:

Social Recommendation (LeafSong University, Artona III)

Emergency Response Merit (LeafSong University, Artona III)

Mr. Thorn, said the security womans voice, were detecting a significant increase in your heart rate. How are you feeling?

Way creeped out now that I know the teleportation bay monitors my vital signs.

UhIm fine, he said, trying not to look as shocked as he felt. Just going through some messages from home. Everyone thought I was dead, so its a lot to take in.

I can imagine. Give us a few more minutes to sort you out.

Yeah. Sure. No sweat. Im good in here.

Honestly, they could leave him to his own devices for the next hour, and he would probably still be trying to get over the fact that he now had a Contract verified fake persona he could use if he chose.

But they probably arent going to give me that long, so I should think fast.

He compared the fake to his real one.

His real rank and overall level was B-9.

He was guessing the star indicated his commendation from Alis-arththe one that had also earned him the embroidery shoulder patch design he could wear if he wanted. He couldnt think of what else it might be. And it was something way fancier than hed realized if the System thought it was important enough to tack onto his level.

His real skill section looked different of course:

Skills:

Let Me Take Your Luggage, B (Level 8)

Skill Type: item preservation (total)The debut release of this chapter happened at Ñòv€l-B1n.

enchantment preservation (end results vary)

I can see how this is going to start to look out of hand as I add new facets to the skill.

Right now it was kind of like Well, the skill does two similar things. Thats flexible. Lucky Alden.

But if he underwent a couple more affixations, even this pared-down, human-approved version of the description was going to make people do a double take and wonder what the heck it was.

Its level 8. And since he hadnt taken another spell or skill that meant the extra authority that was adding up to the ninth level had pretty much all gone to his foundational enhancements.

The math doesnt quite work out between the profiles as far as apparent level value goes. Must be more wiggle room between how the System presents the numbers than youd think.

She had said Earth sometimes pandered to peoples egos by rounding up.

I bet the version of the profile a summoner sees is more accurate.

Alden had not previously had access to something like that. But now there were the tabs with the logograms at the top of both the profiles. He selected the that tab on the real profile and held back a groan at the sight of it.

Why would you make something this unnecessarily complicated?

It wasnt a profile at all. He thought it was more of a 90-page long user manual for the Ryeh-bt known as Alden, but he wasnt quite sure.

He suddenly understood what Joe had meant when he said there wasnt a big flashing sign announcing what his skill was, and that many Artonans wouldnt even recognize it. Presumably summoners got plain verbal talent function descriptions when they ordered up an Avowed from the System.

Maybe they say something like, I need someone to preserve hazardous materials in a laboratory setting in a big hurry. And the System says, Let me introduce you to this foolish Rabbit who just bought a lab coat.

But if the summoner wanted to dig into it and see how the foolish Rabbit worked, they got this mess. It looked like it was lots of numbers plus some completely unfathomable magical codes. Like Alden was looking at the guts of a computer program written bywell, by aliens. And he was trying to guess what it was for. There were words that indicated he could preserve stuff. But beyond that, even with his new logogram flashcard translation perk trying to help him, it was indecipherable.

The name Bearer of All Burdens was nowhere to be seen.

I guess you learn how to interpret skill function in wizard school?

Or, if Artonans were even a little like humans, most of them half-learned it to pass their classes. Then they forgot it. And they just trusted the Systems recommendations and the Avoweds own word about their abilities when they needed to hire someone to do a job.

Probably goes double for Rabbits. If youre summoning someone in a hurry to do minor tasks, youre not reading through all of this.

More interestingly, there were several completely different measures of Aldens Rank in the profile manual. Including one that let the summoner know he was an Earth B. And another one that he kept staring at.

It was being translated as Priority Rank.

It was an absolutely massive number. And it constantly fluctuated.

The more he thought about it, the more Alden felt sure that this was his literal rank in importance. Among all known intelligent beings living under the rulership of the Triplanetary Government.

There are a lot of commas in that number, Alden thought as it was re-translated for him by the System. If I ever develop an arrogance problem, Ill just come here. And humble myself.

He compared the numbers on the real profile and the fake. They were both stupidly big. But the fake one was way higher.

Real me is a much larger speck of dust in the universal scheme of things. Good to know.

And on top of all that, there were so many other things to consider about the profiles.

Apparently Earth liked to call Alis-arth Fourth General in English? That seemed way off-base tonally. She wasnt really commanding troops from what Alden had seen. He was going to have to look up what the System was calling her in other languages.

It was also interesting that the fake profile was giving Alden a false skill and a false spell impression to explain away some of his abilities for him. Flickerer was clearly a cover for his new enchantment preservation. Light Candleit had to be something similar to the little hand-cast spell that hed been using to light the promise sticks for his lessons with Kibby.

Maybe it was even the exact same one, just the infallible, locked-into-your-being version of it they gave Avowed.

Thats nice. It would have looked bizarre to people if I didnt have the second spell impression at least.

But even with so many details to consider, Alden could barely pull his mind away from the most shocking thing about this gift.

By adding on the tab with the logogram, the System was making it clear that this new fake profile was designed to lie to Artonans, too.

Right now, the fake was enclosed by a gold border that said ACTIVE PERSONA along the left edge.

This was the thingit had to bethat the System used to tell wizards whether or not Alden was summonable for their job in the first place. It was what determined how he was actually used as an Avowed.

Andshe was going to help him lie about it.

To a quiet Rabbit, he thought in wonder.

She was going to help him stay under the radar, like hed said he wanted to.

Somewhere, the security people must have been worried about his heart rate again. Because he could hear his own pulse in his ears.

This isnt normal. This isnt even a little bit normal. All I did was wander around tracking dirt through the Primarys house for a while and drink wevvi with Stuart.

This one, stunning gift was something hed never even imagined he could ask for.

Alden felt a huge rush of relief. So they could still joke around with each other. It wasnt all going to be super serious. Thank goodness. My son whos three months older than me?

Age is just a number.

Alden grinned. Yeah. Anyway, Ill adopt you or declare you my blood brother or something if I have to. They seem to have a really strong focus on getting new Avowed settled into life on the island with minimal friction, so itll work out. Uhhow have you been?

Im fine, man. Ive been here on Earth. Eating chicken nuggets and going to high school.

And helping Aunt Connie. A lot, Alden added. She mentioned you in like every other voicemail she sent me. Thank you for that.

Jeremy looked surprised. Well, yeah! Obviously I wasnt just going to let her deal with everything on her own. It turns out my mom really likes having her over for dinner every other Saturday. Shes a lot more fun than the people from the law firm.

Alden hadnt realized Jeremy had gone so far as to pull Connie into his family circle.

Jeremy, you might actually be a saint.

No. I let her put your stuffed wombat in her room. She and Mr. Tiger Shorts are getting serious about each other, by the way. The things that poor innocent creature has seen by now

Alden laughed so hard he spilled hot tea all over the counter. Oh shit. He shook liquid from his fingers. Youre a cruel man. Why would you put that image in my brain?

Its your punishment for making me think you were gone. Jeremy tilted his head. Uhcan you tell me where you were? No details necessary if you dont want. Is it all top secret Avowed stuff a regular human guy cant hear? It wasnt that Manon person

No. It was just a random accident, Alden said. Mostly. I accepted a side quest from one of the professors at the university. To go to Moon Thegund.

Thatssome planet near Artona I? Jeremy asked.

Giant moon orbiting Kimnor. Its not a very important place even though its in the same solar system as the Mother Planet. I think it used to be more significant, but now its a low-population backwater with a System thats been half-broken since before Earth became a resource world. He found a roll of paper towels in a cabinet and started wiping up the mess hed made. Anyway, while I was there it went from half-broken to completely gone.

Jeremy frowned. Gone?

Yeah.

Likeno System at all?

Yep. It was a total collapse. Theres a big team of wizards there now. Theyre going to have to build a new one from scratch. Its something that takes a few months.

What was that even like?

Inconvenient, Alden said dryly, tossing the soggy paper towels in the trash. No teleports. No communications. I was on the wrong half of the moon, and there wasnt even something like a cell phone tower.

Damn. So youve been roughing it on a moon for six months?

Well, there was a giant mad scientists laboratory full of supplies. And a chaos event and some demons and a really cool little Artonan girl named Kibby.

Jeremys eyes were huge.

SeeI realize now I should probably have opened with the chaos problem. Alden ran a hand through his hair. That was why the System went down in the first place. I havent had a lot of practice telling the story.

What the heck, Alden?

They were very little demons. Like drunk hell bees.

Dude.

And they were only around for a couple of months.

Seriously?

Chaos sucks. By the way. Much, much more than anticipated.

Are you sure youre all right?

I have a fancy coffee pot in my intake apartment. And a pinball machine. And I have twelve million dollars.

Okaaay. Jeremys eyebrows were drawn together in concern. Those are all positives?

Wheres Boe?

It just popped out. Alden had been planning to talk to Jeremy about other things for longer. But ever since the last unanswered text, he had a knot of something like panic in his chest. No voicemails from Boe in months, no mention of him from Connie or Jeremy

Um Jeremy looked away from his phones camera.

Hes not dead, is he?

Alden wasnt joking. Some part of him that was now a little too used to horrible things happening was really waiting for Jeremy to say, Yes, Alden. Your closest friend died while you were away.

Hes fine, Jeremy said quickly. Or hell tell you hes fine and get super pissed if you disagree. When he bothers to contact you. Once every five or six weeks. Or maybe thats just me, and hell actually answer your messages. He says hes not ignoring me, that he just doesnt get my texts. But I dont know.

What happened while I was gone?

Jeremys face was uncharacteristically serious. I think your death really messed him up, he said. Way more than I realized at first. And he decided you were dead right away, man. The same day the official Missing on Assignment: Irretrievable status came in from the Artonans. He looked up some statistics on his phone, and then he said, So, hes dead.

"Oh."

Jeremy groaned. Alden, I was so mad. I could have strangled him. Connie and I were both telling each other, We could hear back from him any second now. Wait and see. And he came into the conversation with that.

Boes not Alden tried to think of how to put it. I dont think hopeful is part of his makeup? Hes always been that way. He didnt mean anything bad by it, he just prefers to operate on facts.

Alden understood it. When you had a choice between desperately hoping for something unlikely and moving forward with your lifehope wasnt always better. There was a reason people held funerals even without a body. Denial couldnt go on forever.

I get it. But its still hard to deal with someone like that when youre in the maybe-this-isnt-really-happening phase of your friend going missing, Jeremy replied. He apologized about it the next day. And then he was very, very nice for a while. To me and Connie and even people at school. Even the ones he hates.

That was possibly the most alarming thing Jeremy could have said.

He was great, actually, Jeremy admitted. For a few weeks. And I realize in hindsight that he must have been putting in crazy amounts of effort because emotionally supporting others is not something he usually does.

Actually, Boe could be good at that despite his own protests to the contrary. He just very rarely made an effort to be. Jeremy probably hadnt seen it before.

He finallyI think he just snapped. You were all over the local news. They dug up all the old Body Drainer stuff

They did? Alden hadnt expected that.

Sorry. Once it finally got out, it was a big thing. Tragic victim of the worst supervillain incident in Chicago in recent years becomes a B-rank Avowed, gets summoned on his way into the consulate to register, dies on his first assignment

Jeremy gave him an apologetic look. You only blipped across national news for a couple of days, but here, it was two weeks worth of seeing pictures of you and hearing hot takes from random people about the dumbest stuff. Should traumatized youth ever be selected as Avowed? Are Artonans evil for summoning fifteen-year-olds? Are humans evil for forcing fifteen-year-olds to leave their home countries? What did Alden Thorns friends and classmates think of him?

Ugh. They called me a traumatized youth? Like Body Drainer was still messing me up so bad I cant function? It was years ago.

I can send you clips of some of it if you

I never want to see it, Alden said. Its justnoise. With my name attached. Please tell me it finally died out.

Jeremy nodded. Yeah, youre old news now. Your return from the dead will probably change that for a minute, but you can just refuse to comment, right? And itll go away again.

The internet will remember, Alden said darkly.

Jeremy didnt disagree.

Anyway, we were steeped in that. And then there was your memorial thing at school right before summer break, and Boe was mad about it. I could tell. But he didnt say anything. And he went to it and sat there like a statue for the whole service. Then, when I got home, the window was open in my bedroom and hed dropped off your cat with a bag of food. There was a note on my pillow that said, Im taking a vacation from people.

A vacation from people?

He ran away from home. And everything else. Doesnt answer his phone. I was scared he had hurt himself or something, but he swung by around a week and a half later. He looked just as bad as he did at the funeral, and he was in one hell of a unique mood.

Unique how? Alden asked, dreading the answer.

Jeremy slouched against the sink. Honestly? he said in a near whisper. I think he wanted me to beat the shit out of him. He said the worst things to me. They weretoo fucking awful. To the point where I stopped being mad and started thinking he was actually going insane.

Jeremy

Once he realized I thought he needed an exorcist instead of an ass-kicking, he punched my bedroom wall, apologized, and left. I havent seen him in person since. I just get the occasional phone call. I thought maybe hed come back when school started again, but he didnt.

Alden didnt know what to say.

Sorry. Its not great news to come home to. I know you two have been best friends for years. Dont worry too much about him. His last call was actually normal. We argued about movies for a couple of hours. He seemed like himself again. And Im sure you being alive cant hurt.

Boe, you werent supposed to fall apart.

He recognized that it was an odd thing to think. Why couldnt Boe fall apart? Time hadnt just frozen here at home while he was away. People kept moving and changing and dealing with stuff.

He stared out over the apartments living room area without really seeing any of it.

Hey, said Jeremy, a note of forced cheer in his voice, youre going to see Connie today, right?

Alden shook himself. Yeah. I think so. I thought Id teleport her in later after I sorted some things. I have to find out if its okay for her to come stay here at the dorm overnight or if I need to get her a room someplace else.

Can I send Victor with her? Can you have pets?

Alden blinked. Ihave no idea. Wait. Did you say Boe left the cat with you?

Yeah. Your landlord is on a rat poisoning mission, and Connie was afraid Victor would eat one of them. Theres fur everywhere in my room. I have to keep him in there because my dad and my sister are allergic.

Victors more of a street cat who deigns to let me feed him. Hes not really a big fan of confinement. Isnt your room completely destroyed?

Hes used to it now. Its fine except for his weekly bath.

Alden had never once attempted to bathe the semi-evil cat. He valued his body too much.

About my room, though, said Jeremy, a strange expression on his face. Let me show you my new poster.

Poster?

Yeah, he said casually. Got it a few months ago. Havent shown it to anyone else. I dont think we should talk about it. I think you need to see it.

Sure?

Jeremy was already walking toward the stairs with his phone. A minute later, he opened the door into his familiar room and switched on the light. A shockingly fat and fluffy orange cat, with a collar and a bell, was stretched out on the duvet.

My poster, said Jeremy, striding over to a brick wall and turning the phone toward it so Alden could see.

ItsYellowstone National Park, said Alden, baffled. Thats outdoorsy of you.

Right? Jeremys tone was odd. Make sure you take a good look at this part.

While Alden watched, his friend pried up the tape at the bottom of the poster and lifted the paper.

There was a hole in the wall. Not a massive one. But a couple of bricks were missing, there were some cracks, and the copper pipes on the other side were visible.

Yellowstone, said Jeremy, dropping the poster back. I spend a lot of time thinking about it.

Alden stared.

Jeremy. Did you say Boe tried to hit you?

No. I was on the other side of the room. Guy just needed to relieve some tension. Hit the wall. After I refused to beat him up. Jeremy paused. Apparently he has a lot of faith in my workout routine.

Alden laughed. He wasnt sure if it was actually funny or if he was just too shocked for another response.

Thatasshole, he said finally.

Such an asshole, Jeremy agreed. Such a skinny, pale, weak-looking asshole.

They both stared at each other, and then, for some strange reason, they burst out laughing at the same time.

I really missed you, Alden said when theyd stopped cracking up. Sorry everything got turned sideways because of me. But I really did miss you so much.