SEVENTY-ONE: Where's the Really Sharp Knife?

SEVENTY-ONE: Where's the Really Sharp Knife?

Another two weeks blurred past. Nehas schedule filled half of Aldens days, and his own side projects more than filled the rest of his time.

He had his first of three interviews at CNH. It was in-person but just ten minutes long. Only B-ranks had to attend the first interview, and Alden had the strong impression that the whole point of it was to discourage them from applying. The questions had all walked a razors edge between professionalism and insult.

Do you think your disadvantages will prevent you from being a valuable part of a hero team?

How will you keep up with coursework designed for people more super-abled than you?

What will you do if you spend the next several years of your life pursuing this only to be unemployable as a superhero?

Jokes on you, thought Alden while his mouth spouted a pre-prepared statement about how he would never give up on his dreams. Im just here for the best government-funded Avowed education on the island. Unemployment is so far down on my worries list these days that you cant scare me with it.

The questions werent personalized. He knew because they didnt ask anything about the commendation or his time on the Triplanets. No way that was getting left out of the real interviews that were coming up next month.

Aldens entrance timing was going to be a little awkward. He was too late for the quarter-schedule classes starting in October, but waiting until January to start the new quarter was a waste of time. So once he jumped through all the hoops and, hopefully, became a student, hed be polishing off the second half of classes he was confident in and taking their final exams for credit. And hed be auditing some others so that hed be better prepared for them when they started back up.

It would work out. For obvious reasons, Avowed schools were set up to slot in new kids year-round.

Alden was getting the usual package of Avowed-life orientation classes out of the way at least. They were all offered in some form at the dorm.

Hed already done the three on basic Artonan etiquette. He was concerned about how basic it was, for his fellow students sakes. But he guessed it was different for most of them. If you were only getting summoned half a dozen times in your life, did you really need to do a deep dive into an alien culture that was fairly good about accommodating other species on its own end of things?

Yes.

The others didnt agree with him, though. It was mostly the Rabbits and the other people with specific subclasses known to be popular with the Artonans who took the extra etiquette classes. Them and the alien fans.

Alden skipped out on those since they werent required, and hed covered way more with his friend Klee-pak.

But he still had to attend five sex-ed lessons with Gustavo and a Wright counselor named Gretchen, in a large auditorium full of teenagers in various states of hilarity, mortification, and horror.

Once you got over the subject matter, you could appreciate the necessity of the things. Even the first two classeswhich were the Earth-focused oneswere kind of important. A lot of people came from cultures where sex education wasnt standard. And nobody came from a culture where the superhuman version of it was standard.

The slidesbecause of course there had to be a slideshowsaid petrifying things like, That spell impression doesnt work there. And, Stat differences matter more than you think they do.

By the time they reached the interspecies lessons, Alden felt like hed gained an amazing new power.

Im no longer capable of feeling embarrassment, he thought, staring at a slide that was just a picture of a griveck with the word NO! written on it in twelve major languages. I hit some lifetime maximum a while back, and now blushing is a thing of the past for me.

Apparently it wasnt the same for his fellow victims.

> Paolo hissed. >

Several of the other Rabbits Alden had been sitting with during this wonderful bonding experience were nodding in agreement.

Its because the pH level of your partner is almost as important as their clear and undeniable consent, said Alden, pointing at a slide that said exactly that.

Everyone stared at him.

He marveled at how much he did not care.

Im made of steel, he told Boe on one of his daily phone calls.

He was on another rental bike, on his way to meet with a parkour club Bobby had introduced him to. They were mostly low-rank Brutes, but not all. The group was welcoming and really eager to share the discipline with newcomers. Alden wasnt amazing, especially without his trait active, and nobody minded. It was fun.

I have been forged by Gretchen and Gustavo into something beyond a mortal, and now I am untouchable. Also, Jeremy and I are finally going to get to hang out together soon. Youre the worst for not joining us.

After parkour, he sat on a bench along an oceanside walkway and ate his lunch.

Natalie Choir was officially his personal chef. His fridge was full of meals and snacks in individual containers. Shed bought a label maker, and she used it to stick motivational quotes to each one along with the nutrition content. As part of their agreement, she got a massive shopping budget so that she could master new ingredients. He was eating a lot of things hed never heard of before.

So good, he thought, holding back a moan as he dug into an insulated container full of hot lentil bolognese and pasta. How can it be this good and still be healthy?

There was a small container full of herbed oil to go on top of it. And a ginger matcha protein drink. And a side salad with the fruits and vegetables chopped into perfect rainbow-colored cubes.

Alden was bleeding money for this sort of treatment, and he did not mind.

[Video call from Twenty-seven Hundred and Sixty-third General Evul-arth, Artona I. Connection fee waived.]

Must be the weekend on the Triplanets.

Answer, he said after swallowing a mouthful of food.

He wondered if Stuarts sister would be crushing him underneath pillows again, but she must not have been in as much of a tormenting mood today. They were outside, and she only held the tablet out of his reach while she observed Alden.

Youre not sweaty.

Not at the moment, he agreed. It was fifty degrees and windy. After parkour club had broken up for the day, hed thrown on the cable-knit sweater Dragon Rabbit had gotten for him.

My brother wants to talk to you again.

I want to talk to him, too.

She tilted her head. I know who you are now. Youre the dead human he named his pet after.

Alden paused in the act of digging his fork into the pasta. Did you not realize that when you saw my name last time?

I noticed. But I thought you were dead. So I assumed a lot of humans had the same name.

That's what Rel-arth assumed, too. The art'hs must not hang out with many of us.

My names not particularly common.

Evul, said Stuart, peering at Alden from around his sisters arm, just give me the tablet. Please?

Okay, she said, shrugging as she passed it over. The human doesnt seem to mind your >. I guess it works.

Stuart glared at her, but he took the tablet without comment and hurried off into the trees to get some distance from her.

I have messages for you from Kivb-ee. Eleven of them.

Eleven messages from Kibby. Alden couldnt think of a single thing that would have made him happier.

Stuart blinked. Your smile is very wide.

I was worried people would change their minds about letting the human talk to her.

Stuarts face went still. Alden realized hed been too honest. And thenwonder of wondersStu-arth navigated the two of them around a point of social awkwardness all by himself.

I figured out why you enjoy the word hyektch so much. Youve been watching a lot of childrens shows. Do you actually like the goodchild >? I always found those stressful when I was young.

How can you tell?

I didnt view your messages from the girl. But she gave each one a very long title so that you could sort them by subject. She wants to talk to you about those shows, demons, the videos of the ocean you sent her, recipes for something she calls stripey birthday goo, and your evil kyat?

Cat, said Alden, grinning broadly. Kibby pronounced it a little funny. My evil cat.

Oh. He stared off into the distance for a second, and then he said, A common small pet on Earth.

Stuart always looked like he was staring off into space when he accessed information through the eye rings. Alden had seen him do it several times during their previous, very long conversation. Most often to look up the English swear words Alden had been using to enforce casualness.

Its unusual that he doesnt do the split-eye thing much.

In fact, now that he was thinking about it, Alden couldnt remember if hed ever seen Stuart do it. He was fairly sure the other boy could split his focus like other Artonans, since hed been able to carry on a conversation while hand-casting on his metal block for the spell ring. Maybe he didnt like double visuals?

How was your week? Alden asked.

Busy. Not in an enjoyable way. I had too much work that seems irrelevant to my future.

How was Ro-den?

Im going to carry it around in my pocket all morning.

Emilija gasped. >

I am. My very impressive ice cream carrying skill.

Peer pressure was good in this case. It would keep him from throwing the ice cream across the room if it hurt really bad.

Natalie dashed out of her own room with her toothbrush in her hand. Did he do it?! Did I miss it?

Its really not that great.

She wiped foam off her chin with the back of her arm. Her gold eyes were excited.

Hadiza started pulling things out of the fridge and freezer. The second fridge and freezer. The first thing Natalie had done when Alden started paying her was buy a ton of new kitchen stuff. She was going to take it all with her when she left intake, but for now their apartment looked ridiculous.

There were six cookbooks open on the counter, and there were flour spatters on the walls. Both fridges were totally crammed with experiments. There was a new electronic pizza oven half-unboxed in the corner.

Alden sat down and watched. Never had an ice cream cone had so much input from so many people who were deeply invested in its final appearance.

> Emilija asked.

Alden watched Hadiza and Natalie put sprinkles on top of raspberry sauce.

Neha says you should do things just because they bring you joy sometimes. And I think carrying ice cream around in my pockets when nobody else can do that is neat.

The other Rabbit nodded.

The triple-decker ice cream cone was completed. It was pretty before Hadiza even did her thing, but then she pointed at it, and it turned into something that looked like it had been clipped from a magazine cover. The sauce turned glossy-bordering-on-glittery, the sprinkles were suddenly perfectly distributed, the vanilla coconut ice cream got whiter, the chocolate banana got darker, the strawberry turned lipstick pink. The scoops even looked rounder.

Do we think its an illusion? Or does it really do stuff to all of it? Alden asked.

> Emilija said with a shrug.

Now you do yours! Natalie said eagerly.

Right, said Alden. He felt nervous. Just let me target Hadiza.

He could have pointed, or said Target Hadiza, and the System would have flipped that internal switch for him. Hed never actually targeted someone without the assist, since hed simply refused to let the target on Kibby drop for months for fear it might not work.

But he remembered the feel of it. The weight of that pull between him and his target. He wanted to do it himself.

He found the place inside himthe permanently bound mote of his authority that would never do anything again except for this one specific task. He woke it up. He flexed it. Her, he thought. Hadiza.

He felt an ache. He felt the connection.

A halo of white appeared over her head on his interface.

She didnt feel anything. She was waiting for some indication that hed done it. So he pointed at her.

She smiled and held out the ice cream cone.

All right, thought Alden. Im the Bearer of All Burdens. I ran across a moon. I think I can handle a little frozen dessert.

He took it from her.

He wrapped his skill around it. Consciously. Deliberately.

It worked just like it was supposed to. Of course. His bound authority was still oversensitive, but it did its job flawlessly. He slid off the stool.

The damn carriage rule is still in effect. Im going to work on breaking that down as soon as possible.

>

It did! said Alden. Sorry it doesnt look very impressive.

He glanced down at the preserved ice cream. Then he shoved it into the pocket of his hoodie and walked around their living area with it before pulling it out and revealing that it was totally unharmed.

They applauded. And then

Ill get the blowtorch! Natalie cried.

Excuse me?

Its just a little one! For creme brle and meringue.

That would be finebut it probably wasnt going to feel good.

> Emilija asked, heading toward Alden with her hand outstretched.

really sharp knife?>> Hadiza muttered.

Were they always this violent? Alden wondered, looking down at his perfect ice cream. Were they just waiting for their chance ever since I told them I could carry bombs?

Emilija slapped the ice cream lightly. And then, excited by her failure to do any harm to it, she did it a second time with what was probably every bit of her F-rank upper body strength.

> she said, shaking her bright red palm.

You should meet my friend Jeremy."

The slap was nothing. There wasnt really an increase in pain or even difficulty. Alden had detected it. Even with his eyes closed, he would have known something had impacted his object. But it was nothing at all like

Well, what did you expect? A girl slapping your preserved object to feel like a chaos assault on Kibby?

Curious, he let the girls experiment. The knife was fine. The blowtorch was fine. It was just a little baby blowtorch, like shed said, but still

So this is what powering up the skill does for you.

Can I hit it now? Natalie asked, flipping a meat hammer in one hand.

That depends, said Alden warily. Youre an S-rankyou didntwhats your Strength stat?

>

Alden didnt. But just because shed clearly put the lions share of the free points she would have gotten as an S into Appeal that didnt necessarily mean shed put all of them

I put all my extra points in Appeal! Natalie said cheerfully. I am stronger. Because its more appealing if you move well, and that takes strength. But its nothing crazy.

Oka

She walloped the ice cream and then laughed excitedly when the hammer flew out of her hand and across the room.

This is the best!

>

I have to go on a tour now, said Alden, grinning in spite of himself. You scary people need to leave me alone.

He tucked the ice cream in his pocket and left.

He waited until he was out on the street to say, System, ditch the targeting assist. And the halo. I dont need it.

The point of light that represented Hadizas location winked out. He could feel where she was still.

He focused on the preservation for the rest of the morning.

It was so easy. Despite the pain, it was just so much easier.

And when he pulled his triple decker ice cream cone out of his pocket in the middle of the tour and finally ate itearning a few curious looks from the other people in the grouphe did feel a little bit cool.