EIGHTY-EIGHT: Diving

EIGHTY-EIGHT: Diving

88

Alden stood on the packed train, staring at the name of the approaching station as it scrolled over the door across from him.

O Cruzamento.

He watched the words. He'd research Manon a little more in Engaging with the Unexpected. People had been talking about what "goodness" was--a fairly common discussion point, he assumed, given the number of groans it had elicited. And typing her name into a search bar had suddenly seemed like a chore that had to be completed.

He'd learned that the boater's leader had an office within walking distance of this station. He didn't know what to do with the information now that he had it other than agonize over it.

Fortunately, another text from Boe came in to take his mind off things. [Pick up snacks for us.]

[Snacks?]

[Unhealthy ones.]

******

Half an hour later, Alden walked through the door of his apartment and spotted his friend sitting on the sofa. Victor was beside him, and Boe was typing on Aldens laptop.

Hey, Alden said, dropping his messenger bag on the kitchen counter and lifting up the net shopping bag full of snacks hed bought on his way over from the station. He was preserving it just for the practice. Why do we need unhealthy snacks?

Because were watching a movie, Boe announced. He picked up the remote and pointed it at the television.

Familiar music filled the room, and an equally familiar image of a sand dune appeared on the screen.

The End of the Lonely Earth documentary? Alden toed off his shoes and dumped the chips and candy on the coffee table. I dont mind, but didnt we have it memorized by seventh grade?

Us and everyone else, said Boe. But see, I think its going to be way funnier now that my friend is a wizard. And we can pause it every time that hammy narrator says something about the Artonans or Avowed and discuss it with our fresh perspectives. Mostly your fresh perspective. Since youve actually been hanging with both Artonans and Avowed, and I have not.

My job is to argue with the narrator. Got it.

Ill argue with him, too, of course. You cant leave me out of a good roasting.

Alden sat with his legs crossed on the floor and watched the familiar montage of images from the late 1950s and early 1960s that started the film. Telstar started to play while a woman in high heels and an apron pulled a crown roast out of the oven. A poster for the Four Pests Campaign turned into an image from the Vostok 1 launch turned into a scene of military personnel guarding students as they tried to integrate a school.

Photos of a Japanese city flooded by a typhoon faded into newspaper headlines about the Cuban Missile Crisis.

It was a rough time, said Boe.

Would we have nuked the planet by now?

Definitely.

I think so, too.

This was our lonely Earth, the narrator said in a deep voice that would have fit right into some of the radio snippets that would play later in the documentary. The late 1950s and early 1960s was a time full of humanitys highest highs and our lowest lows.

They didnt have to synch lowest lows with that clip of Elvis dancing. He looks like hes enjoying himself, Alden said.

That was uncalled for.

If we didnt blow ourselves up, wed have gotten over a lot of the rest of it without an alien intervention by now, right?Witness the debut of this chapter, unveiled through Ñôv€l--B1n.

I think we could have eradicated malaria on our own, said Boe. Given a few more years. It was great they did it for us, but we could probably have handled that one?

A lot of the things they fought about must have seemed serious one day and then insane the next. Youve got people all over the world saying some version of, You have a different god than me, so you should die. You like a different kind of political system than me, so die. You look different from me, so you cant sit in my restaurant.

Boe reached for a box of chocolate raisins. UhAlden...it's still like that in a lot of ways. We're literally on an island that was made because normal humans want to limit our access to the rest of the species.

Alden blinked. Right. That's...an unfortunate counterexample I somehow never considered any of the other times I watched this. My original thought was that it's not as bad for most people? It feels like there were so many more groups of humans sitting around feeling superior to other humans for no reason at all back then. And they were using it to justify all kinds of terrible shit. And then

Then one day, the narrator said dramatically as the wind howled across the Sahara, and a re-enactment began, we learned we were not alone after all.

A large group of wizards and Avowed, one from almost every resource world, appeared in a cloud of smoke.

Pretty understated of them to land in the desert, said Boe. Id have materialized on top of the White House or in Red Square. Or both. Maximum impact."

I highly doubt there was a cloud of smoke when they showed up. I bet it was either nothing at all or something so much creepier. Alden was remembering how the teleportation room on Alis-arths ship had smelled like blood. Anyway, if your whole personality was built on being right about everything and fundamentally better than anyone different from you, how do you feel when boomspace wizards and a ton of superpowered representatives from their empire invite themselves over to ask if youd like to join up?

Then one of the first things they do is that.

They both watched the screen. The footage now looked different from that filmed by human cameras at the time. It had been captured by the Artonans themselves using both magic and their own technology.

Tan-wyk and the others casually wandering away from that meeting with U.S. and Soviet leadership and then showing up in Bali a few hours later would have been a decent power move on its own, Boe noted. But why not record yourself stopping a volcanic eruption while youre there?

There were museums all over the world where you could experience various moments from that day, instead of just seeing it on a screen. The magic rooms made you feel like you were standing there, watching the pyroclastic flow that was going to kill you suddenly encounter an impenetrable wall of magic, the ash and rock piling skywards rapidly.

Heres my favorite line. Boe turned up the volume.

A couple of days later, Tan-wyk with her familiar crown of purple hair stood blinking into a cameraa human one this timeand said in response to a question about what the next stage of the operation would be, >

Boe was laughing so hard Alden couldnt hear the narrators next few words. The best part is that shes not just saying that! All the other members of the delegation go back to talking to world leaders and doing good deeds all over the rest of the planet, and she just stays right there for the next year, magically fixing things for the local villages and observing the rice-growing process.

She likes rice, said Alden. She beat a volcano, so she gets to take a break and enjoy as much Earth grain as she wants.

The volume was still high, so the narrators next words filled the room, Every human who witnessed such an amazing feat wanted to know, What is magic? And can we do it, too?

Here it comes, said Boe. The first official definition the Triplanets gave us of magic. Unfortunately, it was delivered by an Artonan who wasnt as cool as Tan-wyk.

He did take the time to deliver it in every known human language separately. Maybe he was really pumped and creative in the first three dozen, and by the time he got to English he was tired.

The man on the screen started to speak in a dull voice.

Magic is the process by which we wizards prove our existence and assert our dominion over all else that exists. If your planet chooses to form a Contract with us, we will present you with magical tools, healing, and conveniences that you will never otherwise be able to obtain. And a few among you will be granted the ability to wield magic yourselves, with the expectation that you will use those powers for the benefit of both your species and ours.

Boe paused the video. Such an idiot. The rest of the team was busy presenting themselves as helpful friends whod come to say hello and tell us about the chaos that was eating the universe, and then he set them back with a definition of magic that fueled everyones belief that the aliens had come to exert dominion over all of humanity in mustache-twirling villain fashion. Someone shot the ewtwee Avowed a couple of days after this aired.

That upset me so much the first time I heard about it. I know the ewtwee just dug the bullet out of her armor and then added it to her memories necklace. But how could anyone shootone of them? Theyre one of the most harmless aliens. She thought the bullet might have been a gift that was delivered too quickly.

Ewtwees looked sort of like large fennec foxes with furless, prehensile double tails. They wore charm belts and necklaces full of shiny objects that they liked.

I saw one in real life, said Boe. When I was around eight.

You did? You never told me that!

They werent a low population species, but Alden had still only ever seen them on screens.

He must have been an Avowed working for an Artonan visitor, but he was alone at the time. He was coming out of a jewelry store, and he was glittering like hed bought out the whole place. I wanted to say hello to him, but my mom dragged me away before I could.

A few seconds passed, then Boe looked at Alden expectantly. So?

So what?

Youre a wizard. Say wizard things about magic. Comment on the first definition.

Oh! Replay what he said.

You have the attention span of a flea.

Some jerk made me go to school today. I burned myself out debating superterrorism and talking to Lute Velra.

Boe replayed the section of the video; Alden listened to it closely.

Its only one sentence, It sounds like its not an answer to the question at all, and he has a massive wizard-superiority complex, said Boe. The definitions the other ambassadors gave when they were cleaning up his mess were much more satisfying to most people.

The other answers mostly imply that magic is a kind of special energy Artonan wizards have inside of them and they use it to manipulate the universe, said Alden.

Thats right. And thats the explanation thats most popular. Remember that kid in seventh grade who called it Alien Spirit Gas? said Boe.

Alden did. The unfortunate boy had been subjected to fart sounds whenever he walked into classrooms after that.

Some people think its mystery energy, Boe continued. Some people think its more like prayer with replicable results. Othersand quite a few Avowedthink doing spells is like outputting code that the world responds to. And the Artonans muddy the waters by not outright disagreeing with any of it. Ive got you here now, soreveal the truth.

Well, magic does a lot of different stuff. So its not like you can point at any one of those ideas and say, This is completely wrong. Even the prayer onepeople who think that are probably thinking of wordchains, right? And outputting code makes a lot more sense as a concept if youre an Avowed with a spell impression.

Does it?

Yes! A few more times at least. Can I show you some others, too?

******

An hour later, they sat on the floor in the wreckage of the living room. All the furniture was tipped over. Several chip bags had been used as targets, and crumbs littered the floor. There was a faint smell of smoke in the air from the little bits of paper that had been burned in lieu of candles, they both had very sanitized hands, and the last chiming notes of the song spell were fading from the air.

Victor had abandoned them to their madness long ago.

Alden laid on his stomach on a battered sofa cushion and watched Boe. His friends back was propped against the bottom of the overturned sofa, and he was trying to get the wax paper wrapper off a smashed caramel. He was relaxed and happy. They both were because Alden had asked if he wanted to share the emotion.

Boe had seemed surprised. Alden just thought it was the obvious thing to do.

And there was another reason

Nows a good time.

Big anxiety spike, Boe said without looking over at him. Hed been verbally identifying Aldens emotions for a while now, maybe as an attempt to fully disclose what he was reading.

I know. Could you shield up again?

Done.

I wanted you to know its fun for me. Doing magic.

Thats an understatement. Youve got this very specific emotion when you do it. Like self-affirmation and a success high all rolled up together. I havent felt anything quite like it before.

Alden took a deep breath. [My affixations hurt now.]

Boes fingers stopped prying at the caramel wrapper. His eyes met Aldens.

[I dont know why Im texting it. I guess its easier. When the System does my affixations now, I can feel it. Changing me.]

Oh, Boe said quietly.

[The work the Artona I Contract did on me after I got back from all that time away was I couldnt even use my skill after it happened. Not until a couple of weeks ago. And its still this thing thatsometimes I cant sleep. I dont want to talk about it. But I did want you to understand why I freaked out yesterday when you were trying to tell me about U-type affixations. And why Im not sure about teaching anyone else.]

Boe hadnt looked away.

Alden did himself, letting his eyes fall on the dirty floor.

Anyway, he said after clearing his throat, "now that Im back in action again, Ive been memorizing new spells. I think Ill be able to cast a couple of them really soon. Theres this one that crushes the hell out of stuff. Close range. Baseball-sized crush zone. Sphere or pancake depending on how I adjust it. I think its going to be like having permanent access to a hydraulic press. Im going to flatten all the things. I dont know how practical it will really be in everyday life

Extreme crushing doesnt have to be practical, Boe said in a casual voice. You should just enjoy it.

Alden smiled. Right. Alsoclose range flash freezing. Ive got both of those down, and Im basically just waiting until my authority develops enough so that I can do them. I think I'm almost there.

The freezing spell goes well with your new passion for keeping inappropriate things in your pockets.

Exactly! I can make frozen food and keep it frozen. All I need is a spell to heat it back up, and Im a one-man kitchen.

You can make tiny flames, Boe pointed out. Just learn to cook over an open fire, and youre set.

Alden gasped. Im amazing.

Youre shaping up to be the ideal camping buddy if nothing else. You even entertain people with finger songs.

The spell I plan to memorize after those is very similar to the graduation spell. It makes a sharper force shape, a triangle that flies through the air like a thrown dagger. Spells that cut and smash in different ways seem to be particularly common uses for auriads, but they arent the only kinds. Theres an honest-to-goodness object summoning spell at the end of the book. Im drooling over it.

Anything in your line of sight below a certain size could be summoned.

They talked about some of the other spells Alden was looking forward to, and then, out of the blue, Boe asked, Does having the tattoo bother you?

Alden looked at him in surprise. In what way?

In any way.

The level of restrictiveness I agreed to is inconvenient, Alden said after thinking about it briefly. There are a lot of things I cant say that I would like to tell a few people. Like you. But I did agree to it. And I got a lot in exchange. I honestly think the wizard who made the contract with me wasmore than I was ready to deal with. But he was pretty fair to me other than that.

So no lingering negative associations with tattoos in general, said Boe. Do people give you a lot of shit for having it?

I havent shown it to many humans other than you and Jeremy. The doctor who did my physical exam for CNH was appropriate about ignoring it. And I know the worst you two are going to think is that I was a dumbass who got in over my head. Not that I agreed to a private contract because I was committing murders off-the-record, or that I took money in exchange for letting some creep do experiments on me.

Yeah, I assume the most common use of them is to protect sensitive info instead of covering dark deeds. Or that theyre fake and the Artonan-obsessives who have them just wish wizards wanted to tat match with them.

Alden brightened. Im getting one on my face!

Excuse me, what?

With Kibby! When she gets her summoning rights for the first time, Im going to be her first Avowed summons. And the entire purpose of the mission will be matching facial tattoos.

What will the contract be? Boe asked slowly.

Eternal friendship and respect, Alden said. Its all decided.

When is this happening?

More than a decade from now most likely. But its happening.

Okay. You look really excited about having blue ink on your face forever, soway to go. Also that makes me feel much less worried about what I was about to ask you. Can you make a magical contract with someone? Like can you do the wizard part of it?

I dont really know how to. Kibby kept asking me for one because she thought it would be like an authority handshake with magic ink added. And I do think its probably something pretty simple at the core. But I dont know how. I understand how tattoo design works, but I think to make it all come together Id need instructions.

Do you have any way to get those kinds of instructions without risking revealing your wizardness?

Alden considered it. Im not sure. I could ask some people I know really general questions just out of curiosity and hope the answers were enough to go on. I could try to buy a magic book with the info in it

Oh yes. Trying to shop some kind of Avowed magical black market is a very smart thing to do for someone in your position, Boe said sarcastically.

Or I could trial and error it. We might end up looking like the walls in a public bathroom before I got done. Im assuming youre asking because you want one with me?

Boe nodded. I spent all day trying to negotiate with the System. Shithead didnt give me so much as an exclamation point in answer. Finally, I asked if I could tell you everything without losing its help if I formed a wizards contract with you, and it woke up.

It actually agreed? Alden asked, surprised. And impressed. He hadnt realized you could successfully negotiate with Earth. Maybe he needed to try harder in the future.

It sent me a picture of those concentric triangles on your chest. And the words, Yes. If you both make not revealing the information to anyone else in the future part of the bargain.

Oh. So it only agreed because in that scenario you telling me would actually give us both less freedom to do what we want than we have now. That checks out.

A surefire, Shut Boe up, solution seems to be really tempting for it. I guess making myself less of a future variable must take a load off its plate.

Alden pushed himself up from his cushion. Is this big secret something you actually want to tell me? Or is it something you feel like you have to do for my sake? Because if its the second, then I dont need it.

I regretted a lot of things when you disappeared. This was one. I want to.

Then Ill figure it out. I dont think Ill manage it before you leave, though. I cant possibly get the info I need in the next few days, unless the Systems willing to give me the instructions itself. System, could you do that?

[No.]

Boe looked startled. It answered on my interface, too.

Group chat with the System. What an afternoon.

Can we not just do a magical contract through you somehow? Alden asked. System-moderated. Youre the Contract for an entire planet. This should be right up your alley.

[You completing such an agreement yourselves will produce a more ideal result.]

Why? Alden and Boe asked at the same time.

The System didnt answer.

Of course not.

Its a good idea for you to learn anyway, Boe said. If youre going to wizard, you should wizard all the way. And I would sleep much better if you would contract lock a lot of the news youve already given me in my head.

You sound like Kibby. Contract with me, Alden! I will not reveal your secrets even under torture.

She does sound cool. By the way, where are all these alien kid videos that youve been promising me?

*