C167

After chatting for a while, Shan Liang was brought back to the Northeast by her own driver.

About half an hour after I went back to the ward, Su Jiawang also came back.

He had bandages on his arms, and he looked hurt, and his face was as gentle and calm as ever, and he asked me how I was feeling, if I wanted to go for a walk, as if nothing had happened.

It was only now that I realized why he always seemed to have nothing to do with the world among the throngs of people, because he hid himself so deeply that he barely looked into the eyes of others, not because he was shy but because he was too careful not to reveal his thoughts.

He was like a mirage floating in the middle of a vast sea. I had lived here a million times, but it had never been a haven from the wind.

Gao Kan, on the other hand, truly exists within my life. His evilness, his goodness, his pain and happiness, his shrewdness, his childishness, his dark side, and his beauty of the sun, are all unreservedly revealed to me.

I really did have him.

That was the meaning of love.

I suddenly felt that everything was boring and uninteresting. The sadness from losing Su Jiawang had disappeared, and only my longing for Gao Kan remained. I really missed him to be by my side, so I hugged him and told him, "I'm afraid of this world, can he continue to protect me?"

-

Su Jiawang whispered into my ear again, "Glittering, what are you thinking about? I just heard from the nurse that you went to see Shan Liang? "

"Yes."

"You all … "What did they say?"

"Nothing, I told her some of your secrets."

"Secret?" Su Jiawang's tone of voice trembled unnoticeably, and he immediately averted his eyes from mine, his fingers unconsciously moving across the bed sheets.

I looked at him and said quietly, "I'll tell her, your favorite food, your favorite color, your favorite animals, your favorite places, your favorite female and male stars, your favorite music is jazz and rock and roll, you're actually left-handed, you travel on an airline plane, you're allergic to pollen in the spring, you wear only one brand of shirt …"

Only then did Su Jiawang stop his slashing of the bed sheets, lifted his eyelids, and looked at me. "Why did you tell her?"

"I think she truly loves you. She is a proud, willful, spoiled girl. I never thought that a person like her would fall in love with someone." I'm sorry, I lied.

I believed everything Shan Liang said just now, but I did not want to join their game. I had to move forward, walk towards a better world, and not stay within a field of deceit and calculation, unable to extricate myself from it.

She was having a good time, but that wasn't the point of my life.

I've been through too much gloom and despair. I want to pursue some beautiful things. I want to be better and healthier.

Hearing me say that, Su Jiawang fell into deep thought for a while, then said: "I didn't think you would still remember so many things about me, it's truly unbelievable."

"Why can't I remember? Jia Wang, I told you before, you are the most important person in my life, and that is the truth. Besides not being able to give you love, I … "No, you can't say that now, what you need is not my love..."

Su Jiawang grabbed my wrist, and shook it emotionally, then looked at me earnestly, "Glittering, it's not like that. I love you, I really do, maybe I didn't feel it before, but now, I can confirm my own heart, I really do love you."

Should I trust him?

I don't know, but it doesn't matter.

Because I no longer care about him.

I calmly asked Su Jiawang, "When did it start?"

"What?"

"I found out you loved me."

Su Jiawang muttered to himself for a few seconds, his gaze turned towards the window as he reminisced. He said slowly, "When your brother was interviewing the reporters, he mentioned about you being forced to donate your kidney. That day, I was performing at a charity party. After it was over, I went to the orphanage with the others to visit them. When I saw those homeless kids, I suddenly thought of you. "

"You smile so happily forever, with curved eyebrows, so much that I really thought you were living a happy life in the Su family. However, when I saw a child that was abandoned by his parents at such a young age, I suddenly felt the pain that I have never experienced before. What have you experienced?"

"So, you only pity me, not love." Regarding what Su Jiawang said, I am not the least bit touched.

"No, Winky, you know what? You, I think you are very pitiful, but I treat you well, not in pity, but from the bottom of my heart, I want to treat you well, to make you happy. Ever since I met you, you have been living your life with great effort. Although there are many things that girls of the same age do not have, you will not give in to this world, you will not give in to fate. You, on the other hand, are like a ray of sunlight, bright and bright, only sometimes too strong and stinging my eyes, so I can't really see you. "Recently, I have been dreaming of you. I wanted to see you, but for some reason, I was afraid to see you and felt that I was unworthy of you. In front of you, I feel so inferior that I didn't dare to look at myself."

He started to speak incoherently, but after I accepted that he wouldn't lie to himself anymore, my thoughts became even clearer, and I said to Su Jiawang: "Jia Wang, that's enough, while you're not saying that you love me, stop, I don't need your love for me. All these years, I have lived and grew up with all my might just for a better life and to be worthy of Gao Kan. Now that you know I love him, I won't hide it. I've been in love with him since I was thirteen, for a long, irreplaceable time. I still love him so far, but even so, I don't have to have him. For a girl as powerful as me, from the time I have nothing until now, I can lose anything and start all over again. "

Su Jiawang grinned from ear to ear, it was just a bitter smile on his face, "Glittering, can't we go back to the past?"

I bit my lower lip. My heart ached for a moment, but I said resolutely, "Jia Wang, I have already given you to another girl. We no longer owe each other anything. I wish you happiness. "

"Glittering …"

"Please, stop talking. I'm tired."

-

I pushed away Su Jiawang's hand that was holding onto my arm. He wasn't willing to let go, so I pushed hard, and in the end, after he fiercely held onto me for a bit, he compromised and let go of me.

He angrily stood up, kicked off his chair, and walked out. After walking a few steps, he stopped, turned around, and said to me: "Yi Shanshan, it's too late to say let go of me now, I'll still love you, like how you love Gao Kan, no matter how much you love me, I still want to protect you, just like how I thought on the first day after bringing you home."

I was unmoved, but he reminded me that there was something I wanted to ask him, but there was no right time.