CH 43

‘No. As I’ve said, I am you, the you that you were unable to accept. And only when you accept me together with the current you, then will you become who you really are.’ 

Accept me together with the current you, then will you become who you really are… 

When Mo Li Xin finally opened her eyes and was greeted with the sight of the ceiling above, that was the only sentence that kept echoing in her head. She revealed a bitter smile. Did this mean that she had finally gained the courage to accept it now? 

Ji Nan Feng kept his eyes on her the whole time. Thus, when he saw her opening her eyes, he was elated but also somewhat anxious. Especially when he saw her hollow gaze, and when her eyes were blank. It filled him with heartache and remorse.

“I feel like having porridge,” she suddenly stated.

She knew that there was someone next to her and it did not take a genius to know who that person was. She also figured out that she was no longer in Country B, but back in their home.

“Alright, I’ll make it right away. You just rest here and call for me if you need anything.” The man watching over her bounced up happily like a child and immediately went out to prepare. In his opinion, as long as she was willing to talk to him, he was already satisfied.

Mo Li Xin watched his retreating back, no one knew what she was thinking. After a while, she lifted the quilt and with the support of the side table, she stood and walked towards the window sill.

Mbl assx bye qzssa-vs-nlkzkdt okdesop yde fwpv swvpkel vbl okdeso oyp y okdeso zletl okvb y zso aykzkdt. Fbl fwpv pvsse vblal, zssjkdt kdvs vbl ekpvydnl kd y eygl.

Ebld Kk Lyd Wldt alvwadle okvb bla qyhsakvl nldvwau ltt okvb zlyd xlyv nsdtll vbyv bl ralryale ralhkswpzu, bl oyp tallvle okvb vbl pktbv sq bla elpszyvle pkzbswlvvl. G vbswtbv pweeldzu qzypble kdvs bkp xkde, vlaakqukdt bkx swv sq bkp okvp nywpkdt vbl csoz vs pxypb sdvs vbl taswde. Tl awpble qsaoyae, lxcaynkdt vbl osxyd qasx clbkde.

Tl clzzsole, “kd swa ralhkswp zkql, usw nbyple xl ckvvlazu qsa vball ulyap clqsal zlvvkdt ts. Gde vbld, R’hl ulyadle qsa usw qsa qkhl ulyap okvbswv yniwkakdt rlynl wdvkz vbl hlau lde. Ys Nk Dkd, eke usw jdso, vbl rykd R qlzv oyp ds zlpp vbyd uswap? Lso, usw oydv vs zlyhl xl yzsdl ytykd, bszekdt sd vs vbl elcv R’hl ulv vs alvwad?

“Zlp, R yexkv vbyv ralhkswpzu R’hl oasdtle usw yde sole usw y zsv. Jwv kd vbkp zkql, nyd usw dsv qllz xu pkdnlakvu vsoyaep usw? Mblal xyu cl yvsdlxldv yde R’x vaukdt vs xyjl yxldep. Zsw nyd bkv xl, pnsze xl, yde lhld ktdsal xl yde R’zz xllv yzz uswa elxydep. Gzz R’hl oydvle kp qsa y obszl yde nsxrzlvl usw, qsa usw vs cl byrru okvbswv osaaklp. Uyd usw dsv qwzqkzz vbkp zkvvzl ckv sq aliwlpv?

“R’x vlzzkdt usw, lhld kq usw rypp sd, R okzz dsv nbsspl vs alxykd yzkhl yzsdl. Fvwrkezu pvyukdt yzkhl zkjl ralhkswpzu, vaukdt vs pllj alhldtl yde fwpvknl qsa usw. R’zz qszzso usw kxxlekyvlzu. Ebld yzkhl, usw’al xu rlapsd, obld elye, usw’al xu tbspv. Ls xyvvla bso xwnb usw byvl xl, R’zz pvknj nzspl vs usw. Zsw’zz dlhla lpnyrl qasx xu taypr ds xyvvla bso xydu alkdnyadyvksdp usw ts vbaswtb. Ohld kq ol clnsxl ldlxklp, R’zz pvkzz rlpvla usw. Psd’v vbkdj vbyv usw’zz cl yczl vs tlv ake sq xl ps lypkzu!

“Gde… yde, usw’zz dlhla cl yczl vs tlv ake sq xl. Jlnywpl… R zshl usw. R zshl usw vs vbl lmvldv vbyv obld usw qasod, xu sod cseu kp kd ekpnsxqsav. Ebld usw’al byrru, kv qllzp zkjl vblal’p pwddu pjklp qsa vbswpydep sq xkzlp. Gde obld usw’al wrplv, kv qllzp zkjl vbl obszl sq Zlzzso Frakdtp oswze nawxczl kdvs ewpv. Fs, rzlypl… esd’v ekl, sjyu? R’x clttkdt usw… lhld kq, lhld kq usw pvyu fwpv vs vsavwal xl, R oswzed’v xkde. Kwpv… fwpv esd’v zlyhl xu pkel…” 

Mbl xyd’p hsknl tsv psqvla yde psqvla. Wasx vbl kdkvkyz aytl, qszzsole cu bkp ayxczkdt, vs bkp rzlyekdt. Ys Nk Dkd’p vbswtbvp olal kd y xlpp vss. Fbl bye dlhla plld bkx zkjl vbkp. Tl bye yzoyup clld nyzx yde nsxrsple altyaezlpp sq vbl pkvwyvksd. Fbl eke dsv vbkdj vbyv y rsolaqwz yde pwnnlppqwz xyd vbyv yzoyup bye lhlauvbkdt wdela bkp nsdvasz, oswze pweeldzu clnsxl ps hwzdlayczl. Zlv, kv oyp vbkp ekprzyu vbyv yzzsole vbl bwtl pvsdl ralppkdt sd bla blyav vs qkdyzzu cl alzlyple. Ohld vbl pwqqsnyvkdt qllzkdt vbyv bye clld pwaaswdekdt bla pllxle vs byhl ekprlaple. 

Mbkp oyp vbl qkapv vkxl pbl blyae bkx nsdqlpp bkp zshl qsa bla. Gde kv oyp yzps vbl qkapv vkxl pbl okvdlpple bkp hwzdlayczl pvyvl clnywpl sq bla.

At that moment, she suddenly understood. She finally knew why she did not hate and resent him, but still wanted to avoid him. She finally perceived why when she first came to and knew that he was beside her, she wanted to send him away so that she could digest her complicated thoughts. To plan her next steps, to formulate what to say to him, and everything else. Although she had no regrets, she lacked the courage she had from her previous life to go through all these again. She was at a loss, making her fearful and nervous of the slightest things. Thus, when she heard his confession, it had allowed her to finally be at ease.

“I just felt that today’s weather was very pleasant,” she loosen his arms and turned to face him.

Ji Nan Feng stared at her face, a little confused and unsure of what he just heard. 

“What did you say?” He asked in a daze.

“I said, the weather is good so I just want to look. Were you hoping so badly that I would jump down from here?”  

Mo Li Xin teased.

The man was stunned for a moment. When he finally processed her words, he immediately picked her up and spun around twice, “thank you… Thank you for trusting me once more. Xin’er, I am really happy!”

“If you continue spinning, the one in my stomach will not be able to take it,” Mo Li Xin casually and slowly enunciated.   

Ji Nan Feng’s actions immediately paused as he disgusted her words, “your stomach? Are you saying that we… we’re having a baby? Xin’er, truly? Am I really having a child? I’m not dreaming?” The man gently placed her down as he tried to control his excitement. He placed his hands on her shoulders, with his burning gaze on her belly, afraid that he might have misheard her words.

“Yes, I’m pregnant. With our child,” she confirmed. 

Seeing the man who was just seconds again extremely vulnerable suddenly became full of life again, this rapid change in his emotional state also seemed to trigger Mo Li Xin’s own happiness. Heeding her previous words, Gong Ze Yun did not disclose her pregnancy to Ji Nan Feng. Hence, she could see that he was genuinely over the moon.

The man tried to suppress his joy at her words so as to not show it on his face. He forced himself to calm down and brought her into his arms again. He rested her head against his chest, with his chin resting on top of her silky hair, and swore, “Xin’er, previously I’ve wronged you. But in this life, I will give my all and treat you well. I’ll make sure that the unfortunate events of our last life will not repeat themselves this time around. You’ll have a warm home and a husband who loves you. All of this is not done out of guilt, but I want to make up for my past mistakes because I love you. In our previous life, it was my stupidity that caused us to miss each other, so no matter what happens in this life, I promise to never leave.”

And as he had sworn, for the remaining of their lives, he fulfilled his promises to her. But of course, these were words verified in the future.

~~~~

In a blink of an eye, eight months had passed and the weather had started to get cold again. Within the hospital corridors, Mother Ji, Grandpa Ji, Grandpa Mo, as well as Brother Mo stood worriedly staring at the doors of a delivery room. The red light above the door was lit up, and occasionally, bursts of heart-piercing screams could be heard from within causing one’s heart to shake.

In the beginning, it was just preparing for any eventualities, they chose a well-known private hospital nearby. They were about ready to admit Mo Li Xin even though there were still about ten days from her delivery date. Who expected that early that morning, Mo Li Xin started experiencing severe contractions and was in a lot of pain. Fortunately, the nanny noticed, and the whole family rushed to the hospital.

However, before they arrived at the hospital, Mo Li Xin water broke, catching everyone unprepared. As for Ji Nan Feng, before dawn was upon them, he traveled to the south of the city on a two hours journey to get Mo Li Xin freshly picked winter bayberries because of the words she muttered when she was dreaming.

No one expected Mo Li Xin, who was ten days away from the delivery date, to suddenly experience such abdominal pain. Thankfully, they had made prior preparations, hence no major hiccups occurred.

“Doctor! Doctor, what’s happening?” Mother Ji hurriedly enquired when she saw a doctor stepping out of the room.

“The lady’s physique leans more to the cold side and her heart is not in its best condition. Right now, the situation is a bit dangerous. Fortunately, you all managed to spot this early and send her in. The doctor in charge is doing his best now. That’s all I can say for now, I’ve come out to grab something, there’s no time for delay, please excuse me,” the doctor told them before he wore his mask and hurried away.

“Why is it like this?…” Elder Mo could not stand it and almost fell backwards. Fortunately, Mo Shi Bai was able to support him in time. 

“Grandpa, don’t worry too much. Sister is a good person, and Heaven helps the worthy. One is bound for good fortune after surviving a great disaster. Additionally, the doctor said that the head doctor is still trying his best. They have not given up so it will be fine. You, on the other hand, should take note of your own health. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have the strength to carry your grandchild later,” Mo Shi Bai soothed.

“That’s right. You need to pay attention to your own health, don’t get too agitated,” Mother Ji echoed.

Yet, in her heart, she fretted on why her son had yet to arrive.

“Give a call and see where Ji’er is now,” Elder Ji said. 

“Okay, I’ll call-” Before Mother Ji finished her words, she saw Ji Nan Feng rushing over from the end of the passageway. He was perspiring profusely despite the cold winter.

“How is she?” Ji Nan Feng demanded before he could catch his breath. Hearing the intermittent screams of pain from the delivery room, he felt his whole person being drenched in ice.

If only he could, he really hoped to lessen her pain by taking it onto himself.

“The doctor said… he said that Li Xin is experiencing a difficult birth… There may be… may be dangers…” Mother Ji did not conceal anything from him. Some things could not be hidden, so it was better to be frank.

Initially, Ji Nan Feng was frozen on the spot. But the words seemed to strike him like lightning as he immediately rushed to go in, “I want to go in!” 

Before he could turn the door handle of the delivery room, he was pulled back by the doctor who had returned from getting his things, “You wish to go in? But go in and do what? Add on to the chaos? Just wait outside. I understand your feelings, but you entering would not be of any help. On the contrary, it might even interfere with our work. Please don’t worry, we’ll try our best.”

“Yes, Nan Feng, listen to the doctor. My worry is no less than yours but let’s just wait outside,” Mo Shi Bai advised.

Ji Nan Feng managed to force himself to calm down and let go of the door handle. 

As the doctor proceeded to enter, he was stopped again. 

“Remember, if something happens to the people inside, I won’t spare anyone from this hospital. And… if… there’s no other way… Save the mother, make sure she’s safe and sound,” he said solemnly.

Even if she might hate him when she wakes up, he would still make the same decision. No one can take her away from him, including his own flesh and blood.

The night in the hospital was surprisingly quiet. Not to mention, there were no other patients on that level, only their family.

Within the delivery room, the woman screamed and cried in pain until her voice became hoarse. She fainted over and woke up again.