Chapter 530: Thirteen’s First Best Friend [Part 1]

In a bustling city, an extremely handsome young man with short blonde hair and gray eyes walked the streets in a leisurely manner.

The ladies who saw him would call out to him and blow him kisses, which the man responded to with a smile on his face.

"Look! It's the Heavenly Sword!"

"Kyaaah! He's so handsome!"

"Is his sword really that heavenly?"

"The most popular courtesans in the Black Rose Brothel said that the young master brought them to heaven when he spent a night with them."

"... I want to have a taste of that too."

The young man who seemed to be around eighteen years old walked around the City of Castella as if it was his own backyard.

Well, technically it was indeed his own backyard because his sect, the Heavenly Pavilion, governed not only the city but also its surrounding lands.

'Thirteen, what's our schedule for today?' the young man asked his best friend through his thoughts.

[You're scheduled to have lunch with Lady Amber in two hours, and an afternoon tea with Lady Noelle from the Stormwind Clan.]

[At dinner, you are to go to the Wisteria Manor to have a tryst with Lady Fischl. Her parents are currently on a business trip, so if you plan to mate with her, now would be a good time to do it.]

As a sigh escaped the young man's lips, he pinched the bridge of his nose.

'Thirteen, how many times should I tell you not to call it mate or mating?' the young man said in exasperation. 'Your words are too crude—and rude!'

[Huh? Why should I not call it mating? Its sole purpose is for reproduction and continuing your species. Should I have just said that 'if you plan to have sex with her, now is a good time to do it?]

'That's not it! You're being too literal with its meaning.'

[I see. So you have a problem with the way I phrased it. My mistake, then, if you plan to 'jam' it in, now is a good time to do it because her parents are away.]

[Since you've already done it with her maid, she might be more than happy to help you get under her young mistress' skirt. If you don't want to take responsibility, make sure to release it outside.]

'Aiyah... sometimes I wish that you were human like me, Thirteen.' The young man shook his head helplessly. 'Maybe if you experience what it feels like making love with someone, you'll be able to see it in a different way.'

[Vincent, I don't see any merits to mating aside from continuing your bloodline. Also, even if I get a physical body, I will not have Spermatozoon like you humans. However, lubrication using Machine Oil is possible. As long as I read the body temperature and stimulate the girl's *beep*, making her reach climax is 100% guaranteed.]

'Aish... this guy doesn't get it.' Vincent's face palmed because the only one whom he deemed as his best friend was completely clueless when it came to such things. 'Nevermind. Let's just go and have lunch with Amber as scheduled.'

[Wait, Vincent. I sense Beltran's group in that alley over there, and they seem to be harassing a young lady.]

With a voice filled with confidence, Vincent swung his blade, emitting a blinding flash.

"Heaven's Slash."

The exchange between the two cultivators ended in a heartbeat, with both of them standing back to back with each other.

A few seconds later, Beltran groaned before collapsing on the ground, facing upward.

On his chest was an indentation of a sword strike that knocked out all the wind from his body, rendering him unconscious.

"Send this scum back to the Sect, and make sure he behaves," Vincent said to Beltran's lackeys. "If he causes trouble in this city again, I'll make sure to tell my father to also expel the two of you, while having him confined in the Heat Chamber for a month. We'll see if he still won't contemplate his evil deeds there!"

""Yes, Young Master!""

The two lackeys hurriedly tried to support Beltran's body in order to carry him away. However, Thirteen said something to Vincent, which made him stop the two guys Beltran away.

[Vincent, this scum will just repeat his offenses again in the future. I think it's time for him to learn his lesson properly. You have earned 500 System Points in saving that girl, so I recommend buying this Chrysanthemum Breaker Spear.]

[Don't worry, it doesn't kill people. But if you use it to stab at a certain location, the sensation will be enough to give them PTSD in facing you again in battle. Would you like to purchase it?]

[Yes/No]

Vincent laughed and didn't hesitate to choose yes.

Suddenly a spear with a weird tip appeared in the young man's hand, making him blink in confusion.

"Um? Is this really a spear?" Vincent asked. "Why does the tip look weird?"

[It's a prototype spear of the Donger Series made from elastic yet very durable material. Its original name is Dildo Breaker Version 3. But the translation error caused it to be called Chrysanthemum Breaker Spear.]

'Dildo Breaker Version 3?' Vincent scratched his head as he held the spear with the weird tip that looked like an adult man's phallus. 'So... how do I use this?'

[All you need to do is...]

An evil smirk appeared on Vincent's face after hearing his best friend's instructions. He then took a fighting stance for a spear thrust and instructed the two lackeys, who were holding Beltran, to stay in their position.

[Make sure to cite the skill name out loud. It increases the power of the attack by at least 200% according to what my former host, Samantha, told me back then.]

"Alright!" Vincent shouted. "Take this! Chrysanthemum Breaker!"

With a thrust that seemed to pierce the heavens, Vincent's attack pierced through Beltran's *beep*, making him regain consciousness and groan in pain.

The pain was overwhelming, making Beltran's body convulse uncontrollably.

After that incident, the local bully of Castella City was sent by his father to a kingdom far from the territory of the Heavenly Pavilion, never to be seen or heard from again.