Chapter Jaxona Does the Impossible!

Chapter Jaxona Does the Impossible!

Vulzzzzrup lounged at his club and took a long puff from a hookah like device he was sharing with some of his friends as they laughed and swapped stories. As he was reaching for a fried beetle his communicator beeped.

Tossing the beetle into his wide mouth he looked at it.

>Invitation to hyperchat from Minnow1240

“What the shit?” he muttered.

“You look like you just saw a wrathful spirit.” one of his friends chuckled as they blew out a cloud of pale blue smoke.

“Yeah... I gotta deal with this. Keep my spot clear.” Vulzzzzrup said as he lumbered his way out of the club. Once outside he grabbed his communicator.

>>Who is this? How did you get this channel?

>>Who do you think?

>>I do not favor the taste of excrement so stop feeding it to me. Minnow1240 is dead.

>>Don’t your people have a saying “The greater the evil the longer it lingers”?

>>Stop with the nonsense.

>>All you need to know is that I somehow know their handle, password, and how to reach you. I also know a lot of other things...

>>So what do you want?

>>Just information. The Federation lost their eyes in the Republic. Your agents are alive and well. I need fresh intel and I thought who better to ask than my favorite toad.

>>And why would you think I would have anything like that? I’m just a textile merchant.

>>I don’t have much time so why don’t we drop the act. I know you are a senior member of the Cabal. I also know a lot of other very very interesting things about you. So why don’t you just save both of us a lot of time and answer my fucking questions, old friend.

Vulzzzzrup groaned and turned his eyes skyward.

>>Fine. What do you want to know? How is the icy grip of the inner hells, by the way?

>>You have no idea.

***

Jaxona woke with a strangled yelp. Oh by the black abyss, she thought trying to shake the images from her head. Nope, she wouldn’t be going back to sleep tonight.

Dim lights glowed at her command as she fetched around the pool that was her apartment trying to shake herself fully awake. Her eyes fell upon a sealed bottle sitting in a polished stone niche.

Nope! She thought. It wasn’t that bad... yet. Besides, she had to be on point! She had a presentation to make at the morning briefing!

She wiggled over to the bot’s docking bay and squirmed inside. She queried the time. Crap. It was a long time until morning.

She walked out of her apartment and locked the door. She walked down the hallway and out into the night and headed towards a twenty four hour diner popular with students. A few stimulant balls and some studying (she had a lot to read up on) was just what the doctor ordered. An all-nighter was a welcome taste of normalcy.

***

Jaxona managed to both pace her bot back and forth as well as twirl inside her globe as she made her presentation.

“... The wars over control of the power and wealth that the Red Jelly promised nearly consumed our civilization. Even once the secret became known to all the problems didn’t stop. Remember, we developed anti-aging technology while we were still planetbound. Strict population controls that quickly became racial eugenics were put in place causing more dissent and conflict and then finally there were issues with the extreme long life itself. Our brains weren’t designed to live forever just like the brains of most sapient races. Eventually madness and depravity slowly took over entire generations starting with the oldest and most powerful. This resulted in some of the darkest days of our entire history. Eventually the Red Jelly became to be perceived more of a curse than a blessing and, after yet another war, the technology was utterly destroyed, wiped from history. That’s why we are taking this situation so seriously. Our history shows the incredibly destabilizing effects that this sort of thing can have for centuries after its initial appearance.

In this first phase we are beginning to see history repeat itself. Those initially in possession of this technology are, just as before, using it to rapidly increase their political power and influence with total control of their government as the expected end result. Because of who in particular wields their version of the Red Jelly this is even more troubling to the Forum.

We cannot suppress this technology in the Republic without subduing the Republic itself, something that we feel is simply not possible. They will have to deal with this on their own. The only thing we can hope to do is halt the expansion of this technology into the Federation, thwart the designs of Patricia Hu regarding us and, if possible, remove her from the equation entirely which would be ideal for both the Federation and the Republic. You have the complete support of the Kalent Forum on this matter and we will back any measure short of a war with the Republic which we can all agree would be the worst possible outcome.”

She was nearly beside herself! She was actually doing some briefing during the morning briefing! She had even been given permission to give the task force a small bit of Kalent history. This was amazing!

“Thank you, Jaxona,” Senior Agent [email protected]@ said. “We appreciate this insight into your history and culture and the insight it gives us concerning the threat that we now face.”

Jaxona beamed as she did her trademark happy swirl inside her globe.

“And that will be all, gentlebeings,” [email protected]@ said. “Good hunting and as always be careful.”

Everyone stood up and started filing towards the door. As Jaxona was cleaning up the conference room and collecting tablets (They had started using dedicated briefing tablets at her suggestion! [email protected]@ even complimented her on the idea!) she called out to [email protected]@ as he was leaving.

“Excuse me, Senior Agent [email protected]@?” she asked.

[email protected]@ just stopped and closed his eyes. What now? He couldn’t drop a pellet without that guppy asking him about it. He just took a deep breath and didn’t say any one of the half dozen things that immediately lept to mind. The Kalent was a good kid and completely out of her depth. He smiled a little. She kind of reminded him of himself when he first started. So eager... So clueless...

“(Sigh) Yes, Jaxona?” he said as he turned around.

“Um... I was wondering,” Jaxona said as she picked up the last tablet and stowed it away in her bot, “During the briefing from the medical team I had a thought...”

Here it comes... [email protected]@ thought to himself. One of her “ideas” incoming...

“And that was?” [email protected]@ asked.

“Ok!” Jaxona exclaimed. “Now this might sound a little bit crazy but have we... have we considered trying to get the Terrans involved? Aren’t they like biology wizards or something?”

[email protected]@ snorted.

“Thanks. I needed a good laugh,” [email protected]@ chuckled. “Getting the Terrans involved? Good one! If we are considering bringing in outside help what about the eels?”

“Oh we are already involved!” Jaxona replied, “They haven’t said anything because they don’t have squat. They, um I mean we, are just as confused as you guys are. They haven’t said anything because ‘it is inefficient to communicate nothing’. Personally I think it’s because they... we hate admitting when we are stumped.”

“Heh, the almighty Kalent getting stumped by a Terran?” [email protected]@ chuckled.

“Yeah,” Jaxona giggled, “Oh it is chafing their anuses big time, just like th-” She suddenly fell silent.

[email protected]@ raised an eyebrow but said noting. Our little coffee-bot almost let something slip. Interesting. He made a note to engage her in idle conversation more often. Maybe something good would pop out by accident.

“As far as the Terrans go you aren’t alone in considering it, or weren’t alone in any event,” the Xvli said as he poured another cup of coffee from the insulated pitcher on the conference table. He sipped it with a smile. Jaxona made an excellent pot of coffee. “Our late director herself tried to talk to the ambassador,” [email protected]@ said. “She was certain that the ambassador was part of a faction that would oppose Patricia Hu. She got absolutely nowhere. Trying to get the Terrans, any Terran, to cooperate is a complete waste of time.”

“Yes but how did she approach?” Jaxona replied excitedly. “Did she just saunter in there all arrogant like and announce that she was there to save the day or did she offer them something?”

“You watch your fucking mouth!” [email protected]@ growled. He then paused. “Heh...” he chuckled shaking his head recalling that infuriating little smug expression she would sometimes have. “Arrogant? Oh she was never that...” He smiled fondly and sipped his coffee.

After a few moments he turned to Jaxona who was just standing there quietly twisting her robotic manipulators.

“Ok, spymaster,” he chuckled. “Exactly what could we offer him that would tempt him enough for the Jon Wintersmith, Lord of the Assholes, to cooperate. We have nothing.”

“We have four things!” Jaxona exclaimed jumping up and down with excitement. “Four of them, on slabs, in our lab... Corpses, real biological samples, not scans!” She spun around in her globe. “We think that he is part of a faction that is against Patricia but has that faction managed to get their hands on one of her special people yet? A scan sure but actual samples? Jon is a reasonable person deep down, he has to be. I’m certain he would listen to something that offered a real advantage.”

“Reasonable?” the Xvli chortled, “Ok, spymaster make it happen.”

“W-what?”

“You heard me,” [email protected]@ laughed, “It’s your idea so go and have a meeting with the reasonable Jon Wintersmith.”

“Really?!? Me?” Jaxona asked excitedly.

“Yep. You’re part of this task-force aren’t you? Why not?”

“Ok!” she enthused. “I’ll do it!” This was amazing! She never imagined that she would ever ever actually get to do “spy stuff”!

“What are you waiting for?” [email protected]@ smiled. “Get to it!”

“Got it, boss!” Jaxona said as she spun around in her globe. She then sprinted off at a breakneck pace.

“That was just wrong.” Kalph-Rasa laughed as she walked in holding a cup of tea in a taloned grip. “I thought you liked her.”

“Don’t push it guppy,” Jon smiled. “For now just this deal. Body for report.”

“Cool!” Jaxona grinned. “Yes! Woo!” she spun around in her globe happily.

“You are a little weird for a spy, you know that?”

“Oh I’m not a spy! I’m just the liaison.”

“Yeah, right.”

***

Patricia looked at the kneeling figures before her.

“What is the status of the porkies?”

“Things are proceeding according to plan,” Crimson replied, “We will soon reach critical mass.”

“Excellent,” Patricia replied, her eyes glittering with delight. “How many more before we can begin?”

“According to our science team, we would like to get at least ten more on each planet but with the interest that is being generated we will likely be able to easily exceed that soon. Everybody in the know wants our ‘treatment’.”

“Fantastic,” Patricia laughed. “Finally we are back on track. And what of Federation Intelligence?”

“We have encountered no resistance and haven't spotted any tails but we can only assume they are out there. I doubt we completely killed their interest when we killed their director.”

“Probably watching and waiting,” Patricia chuckled, “Only use the same operatives that we are currently utilizing. No sense having more of our people identified.”

The door to Patricia’s office flew open as the lookout burst in.

Patricia looked at her and raised her eyebrow.

“My Lady,” the lookout gasped as they fell to their knees. “A Kalent just entered the embassy, got a food bar from Toby, and then entered the ambassador’s office with no delay.”

“What?!?”

***

Patricia strode through the embassy. The Hatchet never missed! She had even left them a sample of that guppy’s body! If that assassin screwed her...

Toby looked up and took a sip of tea as Patricia walked into the lobby.

“Don’t worry, Deputy Ambassador,” Toby said with a pleasant smile. “You killed her. It’s a different one.”

Patricia successfully kept her expression even. That fucking beetroot!

“If you doubt me,” Toby smiled, “Just walk in there, you know, like you did the other day?”

Patricia’s face started to turn red. He was laughing at her!

She took a moment to compose herself. The time would soon come where she could properly address this beetroot but for now, patience was called for.

“Hmm,” Patricia smiled, her face still flushed, “Enjoy pulling the dragon’s tail, don’t you?” she asked her eyes blazing with rage.

“Oh I would never do that,” Toby replied politely. “however, I have no problem plucking an old bird.”

“Enjoy the feather while you can, beetroot,” Patricia smiled her face returning to its normal hue.

The door opened to Jon’s office.

“Bye!” Jaxona exclaimed as she backed up and waved. “Bye!”

“Good-bye,” Jon’s voice chuckled from inside his office.

Jaxona scuttled over to Toby’s desk.

“Bye! Thanks for the food bar!” she exclaimed and then turned to Patricia with big eyes. “Oh my gosh I love your dress! It’s so pretty!”

“Why thank you,” Patricia replied with a beautiful smile as she examined Jaxona carefully.

“I’m so jealous of you terrestrials!” Jaxona said happily, “You get to wear the prettiest clothes! Well, I gotta run! Bye!”

Jaxona quickly scurried, her feet slipping on the tiles, out of the embassy.

Patricia just watched her go with a somewhat confused expression on her face. She then gave Toby a cold glance and walked away.

She was going to enjoy killing that beetroot.

“Gunny, you are now the first one on the grill, you know,” a silver haired female “security guard” chuckled once Patricia left.

“Totally worth it,” Toby replied, his eyestalks whipping back and forth.

***

[email protected]@ just stood there in shock as he stared at Jaxona.

“So,” he said in disbelief, “You got Jon to play ball.”

“Yep!” Jaxona said happily. “He was really nice!”

“The ambassador... nice?”

“He was! And I got snacks! Look!” Jaxona exclaimed as she pulled out the boxes of Powerbar Extremes. “Want one? They are really good!”

“So, you went to the Terran Embassy, got a meeting with Jon Wintersmith, he was nice, agreed to your deal, and you got treats?” [email protected]@ asked as he numbly accepted a Powerbar Extreme.

“Uh huh!” Jaxona said happily. “He said he has to make a few calls and since I didn’t have like some secret communications thingy for me to come back tomorrow to set up the meet!”

“And he was nice?”

“Yes! Super nice!”

“And you’re sure it was the ambassador?” [email protected]@ asked as he held up a picture of Jon Wintersmith. “It was this guy?”

“Yes!”

[email protected]@ just shook his head. “Ok, go back tomorrow and set up the meet then. We can do wherever and whenever they want so make it happen.”

“Sure!” Jaxona said happily. “Well I need to get the tablets loaded for the afternoon briefing. See ya!”

Jaxona scampered off.

Kalph-Rasa looked over at [email protected]@ with her feathered crest sticking straight up.

“What just happened?” she asked in shock.

“Our coffee-bot just succeed where even the late director failed that’s what happened,” [email protected]@ muttered watching Jaxona almost trip over the same desk she she almost tripped over this morning.

“Beginners luck?” Kalph-Rasa asked.

“Hmm...” [email protected]@ muttered as he scanned the powerbar and took a bite.

“Kalph, take a break from your current investigation and do some digging on our little coffee fetching grad student.”

“You got it boss.“