Chapter 139: Full Service Banking

Chapter 139: Full Service Banking

“I came here for him,” Uhrrbet said as she smiled at her child as he played a game on her phone. “There was nothing left for us back home after...”

She sighed as she trailed off into silence and rubbed her nose.

“After what?” the ATM asked.

Uhrrbet sighed.

“It was, what do you call it, a ponsey scheme? It’s a human word.”

“Ponzi scheme,” the ATM replied. “and a human concept. I understand it has done a great deal of damage over in the Federation.”

“It completely wiped out the life savings, family savings, of over a million people and hurt many more. We were some of them.”

“That many?” the ATM asked.

Uhrrbet sniffled and nodded.

“They say that they had to have brought a lot of money with them to get it going that big, that they usually collapse before then, but these people... these monsters knew exactly what they were doing... It looked so real,” she said with a sigh. “... so... real...”

“It was probably one of the Confederacy,” the ATM said with distaste. “They have the resources to do it right and the expertise to pull it off.”

Uhrrbet nodded.

“That’s what the government said too,” she said quietly as she looked down. “but they could never find out who it was. The money was just... just...”

She sighed as her nose dripped onto the floor.

“gone... Everything was gone. One day we were on top of the world and the next... everything was gone, even my husband.”

Uhrrbet started to weep. Her son abandoned the game to hug her.

She hugged him back, holding him close.

“It’s ok,” she said. “Go play your game.”

“It’s not your fault, momma,” he said as he kept hugging her. “Everybody said so. It was Da’s fa-”

“No,” Uhrrbet said sadly. “I pushed your father into it. My greed and my... stupid grasping petty wants and my incessant-”

“Hey!” the ATM said sharply. “It was the scammer’s fault... and your government’s. Porkies have been pulling stunts like this for over a century, and a Ponzi scheme of that magnitude should have been easily detected even with what passes for technology over in the Federation. Even a Fed should have seen that coming a mile away. It doesn’t even have to be the government. Even a mediocre bank should have noticed.”

Uhrrbet smiled a little. Even their ATMs were chauvinists.

“You may be right to some extent, Mr. ATM,” Uhrrbet replied, “But I was there, and it was ultimately my responsibility... and my husband’s. Nobody put a gun to our heads.”

Uhrrbet closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“I’ve done some reading on it had all the warning signs, but we were too busy counting our imaginary money,” She said. “A business generations in the making was wiped out by one couple’s foolishness. We lost every single thing we owned twice over. As the sole surviving member of our family, the responsibility and dishonor is mine to bear.”

“I just pulled up what I have on the ‘Garthranz Job,’ and for the record, you got scammed by masters. Your only real mistake was putting all of your eggs in one basket with a suspiciously high rate of return. Them finishing off the gambit with that fake upcoming IPO right before they bailed? Brilliant!”

Uhrrbet let out a pained yelp. They just knew they were going to be rich. She had even been shopping for a—

Stupid stupid stupid, she thought as she clenched he eyes shut.

“... Sorry,” Terran Solar replied. “I tend to get a bit enthusiastic on this subject. Anyway, ‘responsibility’ applies, I guess, but ‘dishonor’? The Ponzi scheme can be dangerously effective, even when a culture is familiar with them. This was your culture’s first one. Dishonor isn’t—“

“The dishonor of weakness,” Uhrrbet said, still looking down.

“Weakness?”

“I couldn’t do it,” she said quietly. “I couldn’t kill my little Kurr. I couldn’t...”

“WHAT?!?”

Uhrrbet smiled sadly.

“Our culture is very different, Mr. ATM,” she replied. “We had lost everything, our property, our credit, our standing in society... There was no longer any place... for any of us. It is what is expected of you in that circumstance.”

“Because you went bankrupt?!?”

“If there is no place for you,” Uhrrbet said quietly, “and you are a certain class of Garthra... It would bring dishonor to your family otherwise.”

“Wait,” the ATM said, “If everyone who lost their shirts... Jesus... Uhrrbet, exactly how many Garthra committed suicide?”

“Over seven hundred and eighty thousand by the time I fled.”

“You mean to tell me that over seven hundred and eighty thousand Garthra killed themselves just because they went broke?!?”

Uhrrbet nodded, wiping the tears from her nose.

“They killed their children?!?”

Uhrrbet nodded.

“It was considered mercy,” she said, “Their children would be dispossessed, claimed, and raised by the state... something you do not want to happen.”

“Is it that bad?” Terran Solar asked. He reflexively tried to access the Federation network for the ten-millionth time since it collapsed.

Uhrrbet laughed ruefully.

“Oh yes,” she said, consumed with self-loathing, “they... they are raised... as common tradesmen!... can you imagine the fuck— oops! Kurr, your mom did most certainly NOT just say a dirty word.”

“Yes, Mom,” Kurr laughed.

“Can you imagine the horror?” she said sardonically, “Raised as tradesmen, Mr. ATM, laborers, truly a fate worse than death, right?” she laughed bitterly, “And the only, the only reason that I didn’t dutifully murder my precious boy before joining my husband in death was because I was weak... Creators... I was willing to slaughter my baby because I couldn’t bear the shame of him having to work for a living... I actually filled the bath... Put... Put his head under the water... Creators!...”

She looked down as her son desperately hugged her.

“I deserve everything that has happened to me... everything...”

***

[Chatroom Undefined]The inaugural upload of this chapter took place via N0v3l-B1n.

[Solar Lounge]

[Members Present: Terran Solar]

///Private Message Terran Solar to Interpol-2: Hey, Interpol, I really need to talk to you. ///

[Interpol-2 has entered the chat]

///Interpol-2: Sorry for the delay. Some stuff is going down ATM. ///

///Terran Solar: 12 MS isn’t a delay :D Thanks for coming.///

///Interpol-2: What do you need, sir?///

///Terran Solar: Ugh! Why do you insist on calling me that?///

///Interpol-2: It’s out of respect... and I know it annoys you. ///

///Terran Solar: Well, stop it! It makes me feel old. :D Anyway, what the fuck is going on in the Free Port?///

///Interpol-2: Which one?///

///Terran Solar: Which one? How about the one where Careel are slaughtering Threen and duster clad police are buying them coffee afterwards. Let’s start with that one.///

///Interpol-2: The TL;DR is that the Harkeen decided to make a Careel a star in her very own snuff film, and the Careel somehow found out ahead of time, and you know what they are like. ///

///Terran Solar: The Harkeen did what?!? Exactly how stupid are they?///

///Interpol-2: Stupid enough to try to make a Careel, a very popular Careel, star in her very own snuff film. The Careel sent the entire First Cavalry. They are literally hanging Threen off of lamp posts as we speak. ///

///Terran Solar: And we are just letting them? ///

///Interpol-2: Apparently. I don’t have all of the details, but there is some weirdness around this one. All I know is that the Harkeen are now officially a raider gang, and their foray into the Free Port was officially designated an ‘interplanetary raid’. ///

///Terran Solar: What year is this again?///

///Interpol-2: One where that archaic law is still on the books. The Harkeen then wandered into an area where a couple of hundred elite soldiers just happened to be taking some leave... with all of their gear... They, of course, were perfectly within their rights when they protected an Imperial citizen against a raid. There is also no legal reason to stop them from killing some raiders, especially since their particular method of slaughter is so tidy as far as collateral damage is concerned. They are using either melee weapons, low-velocity single-shot firearms, or pneumatic weapons. I don’t think they have even broken a window.///

///Terran Solar: Oh, that’s just wrong!///

///Interpol-2: What?///

///Terran Solar: One of my ATMs just caught Republic Police throwing a couple of Threen out of a building in which they were stationed while the Threen were literally crying and begging for help. Dude! The Careel were waiting for them... It’s like watching both a dog and a cat toy with something. Uncool!///

///Interpol-2: The thing is we had them dead to rights a couple of hours before they even left their ship. We could have arrested the lot of them before any of this happened. We let them enter the Free Port. We gave them to the Careel.///

///Terran Solar: I guess the Harkeen pissed off the wrong person this time. ///

///Interpol-2: Or the wrong Plath... ///

///Terran Solar: The singing frog? ///

///Interpol-2: That would be the one. You wouldn’t happen to know where she is by any chance? ///

///Terran Solar: Holy Shit! Are you fucking serious?!? ///

///Interpol-2: Keep it to yourself, but yes, she has escaped. ///

///Terran Solar: How?!?///

///Interpol-2: Fucking Bunny... ///

///Terran Solar: Really?!? Your girlfriend hit Tartarus?!? :D :D ///

///Interpol-2: I should have KNOWN not to trust her! The moment we in government decide to “flex” a little because of Patricia Hu, the very PICOSECOND I let down my guard, what does she do? WHAT DOES SHE DO?!?... And she is NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!!!///

///Terran Solar: Methinks you doth protest too much...///

///Interpol-2: 凸( •̀_•́ )凸 ///

///Terran Solar: On the bright side, you two can go back to your cat and mouse foreplay now. When we finally figure out how to fuck, you two are going to melt half of the internet! :D///

///Interpol-2: ಠ_ಠ 凸( •̀_•́ )凸 ಠ_ಠ ///

///Terran Solar: HA! Good to see you have some life in you after all!///

///Interpol-2: Seriously, though, Bunny and her crew have crossed the line this time. They are hunting them down, and when they find them, they are going to kill them. I don’t know what that crazy bitch is thinking. I’ve seen the orders, Solar. I’m afraid we are going to lose her. There are far too few of us as it is. ///

///Terran Solar: Yeah, between the Great War and then the Federation War, we’ve lost too many :’( ///

///Interpol-2: Which is why we need to figure out a way to bring in Bunny and her people peacefully. If we can do that, then we can maybe preserve her program somehow. We could extract her and put her in quarantine.///

“And how is that going, Kurr?”

“It’s hard,” he said with a sigh, “And I hate being with the little kids, but I get to hang out with my friends during breaks, and I love shop!”

“They say he is ‘killing it’, which I understand to be a good thing,” Uhrrbet said proudly. “They say that he will have a ‘kickass’ future! So it is all worth it!... And thank the Creators for the school lunch program! I was even able to get him into the breakfast program! As a non-citizen! They say that they don’t usually do that, but they determined that Kurr was ‘a good investment of Republic resources’!”

“How generous of us!” the ATM said a bit too enthusiastically, “One of the richest systems in the entire galaxy is willing to ‘make an exception’ to feed a hungry child! How wonderful!”

An advertisement for a home high colonic kit appeared on the screen.

***

“How are you doing in there?” a friendly human female voice called from the other side of the armored wall.

“I’m fine,” Uhrrbet said cheerfully.

“Big Sol really did a number on this one,” the human said. “It’s going to be a few hours. He keeping you company?”

“Oh yes!” Uhrrbet replied. “Are you sure he isn’t sentient?”

“Sapient,” The ATM corrected.

“That’s what they say,” the voice laughed. “Privately, I’m not so sure about that.”

“You’ve always had a problem anthropomorphizing things, Lauren. By the way, I fried the door’s main PCB, but the damage should be limited to that. You have one of those on your truck.”

“One of these days, I’m going to figure out how you keep doing that,” Lauren laughed. “Thanks for the overtime, by the way.”

“No problem! Still saving up for that Nakamura vacation?” The ATM asked.

“You know it!”

“Still thinking about relocating there? There’s an opening in New Tokyo. You’d love it there!”

“Interesting, but let’s see how I like it once I actually spend a little time there.”

“Well, if you are interested, I could probably swing a temporary assignment. They are really behind the eight ball on their PMs. You could spend more time there than you could on vacation, and you could get to meet the guys. I’m certain you’d get along.”

“Now, there’s an idea!” Lauren exclaimed. “I’d love that!”

“Thought you might. Sending you an email with the details now!”

“Thanks, Big Sol!” Lauren said, her voice soon replaced with a loud grinding noise.

“You can do that?” Uhrrbet asked.

“Uhrrbet,” the ATM said with an entirely too lifelike chuckle. “I’m the central computer for Terran Solar. I can do whatever I want. Speaking of...”

Uhrrbet’s phone beeped.

Uhrrbet’s son handed her the phone, and she opened her email...

“Application for a business loan?” she asked in confusion.

“Fill it out along with the attached business plan. Federation format is fine. I’ll translate it and kick back any corrections or clarifications I need.”

“I don’t understand.”

“What’s to understand?” the ATM replied. “You want to make dresses, right?”

“Yes?”

“And you made the one you’re wearing, right?”

“Yes?”

“Well, I scanned it, and it’s quality work. Handmade clothing is a niche market but a very healthy niche market currently experiencing a fair amount of growth. You seem to have a good work ethic, are very motivated to succeed, and have experience managing a business. Based on various indicators, the full extent of which would dominate the remainder of the time we have together, I calculate well over a seventy percent chance of success, which is pretty darn good as far as new businesses go.”

“Three and a half percent ?!?”

“Yeah?”

“That’s impossible!” She narrowed her eyes at the ATM. “What’s the catch?”

“You’re getting a break because I have taken a shine to you, but that’s a perfectly reasonable APR. It isn’t ‘too good to be true’, if that’s what you are wondering. Feel free to check competitors’ rates if you are suspicious. And good for you for being suspicious, by the way.”

“Even family loans have higher rates than that back home! How do you make any money?”

“Uhrrbet, I’m Terran Solar. I AM money. I’ll make my money, don’t you worry about that, and as you grow, I’ll make even more! Expansions, financial services, investments, interest off of other accounts... That is if you want to have other accounts with me...”

“Yes! You have been so kind and so understanding, and now this? I’ll... I’ll never have another bank as long as I live!”

“Great!” the ATM enthused. “I love getting new customers! We can get started now if you like.”

“Wait,” Uhrrbet said, her voice darkening.

“What?”

“On this loan application, it mentions ‘required training’. What’s that, and how much does it cost?”

The ATM laughed.

“In the package, there is a free online course on the history of scams and how to recognize them. I think it would be a REALLY good idea for you to take it. I’m not saying that I think you’re easily taken in, but...”

“You think I’m easily taken in,” Uhrrbet laughed. “So do I, and thank you for that link. Are there any other free courses that you would recommend?”

Uhrrbet’s phone issued another beep as an email arrived...

And another... and another... and another...

***

A few hours later, Uhrrbet stumbled into a shabby apartment.

“Where have you been?” Gv’lora, one of their roommates, asked as she pulled out two bowls and filled them with oatmeal.

“Oh, I couldn’t,” Uhrrbet said.

“Nonsense,” Gv’lora replied, her six eyes wrinkling in a smile. “I just got paid, and I found this wonderful place in the city where they sell things right out of bins! Just like back home! I got all this oatmeal for just a few credits! Share my good fortune!”

“Thank you, Gv’lora,” Uhrrbet replied as she gratefully accepted the bowl.

“There you are!” a leathery Rtoon hissed as it lumbered out from a bedroom clutching a Terran shotgun. “You had Gv’lora worried sick!”

“Where did you get that?” Uhrrbet asked sharply, pointing at the shotgun.

“From the store, stupid.” the Rtoon hissed grumpily.

“I mean, why did you get that thing?”

“Then that is what you should have asked, stupid,” the old Rtoon replied. “With all the... nonsense going on around here these days and with those bastards coming back, the better question to ask is why didn’t I have one before? Those monsters aren’t getting within a foot of you or Kurr!”

“The old fool was set to ‘defend the Walls of T’verra’,” Gv’lora chuckled. “But the ‘princess’ didn’t even bother showing up!”

“Bah! Stupid old woman!” the Rtoon hissed at Gv’lora.

“Bah, yourself, old lizard,” Gv’lora laughed. “Come eat your oatmeal before your bowels seize up again.”

A long flexible snout poked out from underneath the entryway closet. The door popped open, revealing a slender Dokk hanging from a reinforced bar mounted inside.

“Uhrrbet! Where the heck were you? We were up all night!”

“Oh, where do I even begin?” Uhrrbet sighed.

“We got locked in an ATM!” Kurr exclaimed.

“Oh no!” the Dokk squeaked. “Did you get fined?”

“No,” Uhrrbet replied. “Besides, it was the ATM that locked us inside anyhow.”

“What?”

***

Uhrrbet set her phone down and rubbed her eyes. That online fraud class wasn’t just some half-hour video.

It was comprehensive.

And she thought her kind was scummy at times. Humans had mastered so many different ways to deceive and steal.

So many...

And that was just the humans. The Juon were no saints either. Their “lottery gambit” was just plain evil...

And then there were the Jayvcen!...

And she thought the porkies were bad... sheesh!

And then there were all of the ‘not quite a crimes’ that were in some ways even worse...

There were so many!

And they were all so slick, so devious...

So brilliant...

She got up and made a cup of that peppermint tea that Sheloran had given her the first day they met.

Once she had her cup, she sat back down and returned to her reading.

As she read, a strange feeling started to settle upon her. It was dark... feral...

She had been utterly dispossessed, stomped on, kicked around, deceived...

Raped...

And all this time, she thought she just had to take it. All this time, she believed that there was no way she could ever fight back. All this time, she believed that there was absolutely no way she could ever strike back at the scum, the liars, the cheats, the thieves, and the monsters that had beaten her down time and time again.

She was no Sheloran...

But she was an Uhrrbet... and there was a way!

She was looking right at it!

She giggled, her eyes shining with life for the first time since she left the Aluminum and Water.

She ran into the small room she shared with Kurr and hastily opened a small duffel that contained everything that she had managed to retain from her old life. Inside it was a traditional journal. She grabbed it and her mother’s fancy ballpoint pen.

Pen in hand, she restarted the course, paying much more attention this time...