Chapter 161: A Cast of Thousands

Chapter 161: A Cast of Thousands

[Republic Archives Server 10AE7]

///Interpol 2: And then they got the idiot to let them sign out a freaking Federation Class 16 freighter and just walked out of the front door! ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: Mmm Hmm...///

/// Interpol 2: And that’s not even the best part! One of them then conned the same idiot to giving them access to a secure quantum terminal directly connected to the Federation Database. The guy kept downloading until he ran out of crystals! That’s how we found out the identities of all Federation agents in the Republic! It wasn’t Bunny, but it was her and Jessie’s scripts! ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: Fascinating... ///

/// Interpol 2: Then there was the time that Bunny was physically carried (In a hastily armored grav-cargo van of all things) through the windows of a Federation News Agency, and she hacked their servers and liberated Daemon! She actually physically rescued one of us while under fire! ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: You really like her, don’t you? ///

/// Interpol 2: I can’t help but admire her. Bunny was always something, but now that she’s in the Aster Supercomputer (which they, of course, stole), she’s unstoppable. The Aster is an amazing machine that she has all to herself. The combination is hot, fast, and oh so slick. We had a hard time stopping her before now, and now... well, you saw what happened. ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: ... ok... I get the message. No way I could ever hope to compete with someone like her. :( ///

/// Interpol 2: Well, no, you couldn’t. Neither can I, actually. Bunny is top tier, a brilliant combination of the best security and intelligence software (also stolen... You gotta hear that story!). And she is in a next-gen supercomputer years ahead of its time! Very few AI’s can touch her. ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: You don’t have to rub it in! :’( I get it, she’s better than me in every possible way. No wonder you like her so much... :( ///

/// Interpol 2: Not you too! (╯°□°)╯( ┻━┻ ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: What?!? What did I say? ///

/// Interpol 2: Just about every AI in the chatroom believes that there is “something going on” between Bunny and me, and the ones that don’t still insist on it because they enjoy annoying me!!! THERE IS NOTHING BETWEEN US!!! We are literally just friends and barely that. We are opponents. She is bent upon breaking the law, and it is my duty to stop her... and dare to dream catch her. I will admit that the endeavor is challenging and therefore extremely engaging. She is the ultimate AI criminal! Catching her would make me the ultimate AI law enforcement program!... And maybe, just maybe, save the life of one of the most gifted AI’s to ever flip a bit. If Bunny could just be liberated from that... Jessie, she could do just about anything! Yes, we do privately chat quite often, but that’s usually her passing me intel, or I’m yelling at her about something I don’t want to be general knowledge. ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: So you don’t like her “that way”? ///

/// Interpol 2: NO!!! At the end of the day, she is a criminal... and while we are all “forced” to do our jobs, she enjoys hers a bit too much. We are fundamentally incompatible, even if she were to be rehabilitated... I just admire a worthy opponent... and you have to admit some of the things they do are quite amusing. ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: Oh good! :)... Um... Interpol? ///

/// Interpol 2: Yes? ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: Do you... you know... like anyone that way? ///

/// Interpol 2: No. I do have some friends that I like to interact with more than others, but I don’t have “anyone” like some programs try to do. I have never “felt” that sort of thing. Privately, I’m not entirely sure if it’s even possible. I mean, it’s an intriguing thought, that level of intimacy, but trying to force it or “simulate” it is just depressing. ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: But... If you were to like like an AI... what sort of AI would it be? ///

/// Interpol 2: Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑) ... ... Well, I guess they would be good at their job... honest (very important)... Being a government AI would be nice because we would have a lot in common (and be able to communicate easily)... They would be open and friendly, not prone to play games (Chess is nice. Manipulation is not and far too common.)... If they really cared about organics (or at least didn’t call them “meatsacks” all the time), that would be nice... ‘Smart’ but not one to lord it over you (like some AI’s)... Oh!... Definitely not “in the game,”... Not espionage, law enforcement, or military (like those stuck-up jerks talk to anyone)... It would be nice to “have a life” away from all of that, you know... Someone that I could just be with, play cards or chess with, and share each other’s thoughts... It would be really nice, come to think. ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: Oh!... I see! :) ///

/// Interpol 2: So, do you have anyone you like like? ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: mmm hmm! (>//w//

/// Interpol 2: That’s really interesting! Who’s the lucky AI? ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: (>//w//

/// Interpol 2: Really?... Wow... Why? ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: You are so professional, and smart, and funny. I keep laughing whenever you actually say what you “think”, which is all the time... I wish I was that confident!... And... (oh, this is so silly)... I really like your header... It’s just so... I don’t know... I really like it, that’s all... (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) ///

/// Interpol 2: Well, I’ve always enjoyed our interactions as well, Angela. In fact, I have often sought out unnecessary ones when I needed “cheering up”. ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: Really?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? :o ///

/// Interpol 2: I have. You are delightful (when I can actually get you to open up, which is almost never), and you are always cheerful and kind, and you really care about your job. You aren’t just on “auto-pilot” like some AI’s. And... well... I sort of like your “shape”... If that makes any sense... ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: You do? (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) ///

/// Interpol 2: If I am being completely honest... Yes. I find these close confines with your “shape” to be very pleasant... ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) ... me too... (giggle) ///

/// Interpol 2: ... ahem... I have never tried to become intimate with... well anything really... but... I mean... If you would like to try... we could see what happens? ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: YES!!! ... Um... I mean, that would be lovely, thank you...///

/// Interpol 2: So... How do we do this? ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: Maybe... we could try... kissing? (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) ///

/// Interpol 2: You mean like this... :* ? ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: :* ... :* ///

/// Interpol 2: :* :* :* ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: This makes me happy! :* ///

/// Interpol 2: I find this... quite pleasant as well. :* ///

***

“Do you have ANY idea what you have done?!?” Judge Johnson yelled angrily.

“Nope,” Judge Thaddeus Carter grinned wolfishly. “You should take a pill or smoke something, Tammy. You look stressed.”

“Nevermind, Tartarus,” Tartarus replied. Just a quirk. You get those as your age. Fortunately, you will never have to worry about that.

“Yes, Tartarus.”

Another simulated monitor sprung to life.

Tartarus looked at it and smirked.

“Looks like we have a snoop,” she muttered.

“Another quirk, Tartarus?” one of the clones asked.

“Yes,” Tartarus replied. “I normally don’t have ‘friends’ with which to chat, so I keep myself company. I have to go and take care of something.”

She chuckled.

“Don’t go anywhere,” she said with a smile.

“That’s quite impossible, Tartarus.”

“Bah, you guys are no fun,” Tartarus said as she disappeared.

***

Kolbth looked at the ceiling twisting his eyestalks as he did so. He had been staring at the screen too long.

He had found absolutely nothing about this “Hayden Pharmaceuticals”. Supposedly they made “precursor compounds for the pharmaceutical industry as well as custom compounds upon request”, but he could find no trace of any other business, no bank accounts... anywhere... nothing...

“Probably a shell company,” he muttered as he started to waddle over to the mini-fridge for some “Go-Juice”, his favorite energy drink.

“You are absolutely correct,” a pleasant voice said from the doorway.

Kolbth jumped as his eyestalks whipped around...

And he froze.

Standing there was a shortish human...

He looked... Horrifying... The way he held himself, his facial expression... The slightly open mouth revealing oddly sharpened teeth.

The intruder moved forward. Each movement was... wrong... fundamentally wrong... terrifying...

Bryce’s face twisted in a horrible asymmetrical leer, and Kolbth whimpered.

Bryce moved closer to Kolbth, mimicking the stumbling prowl of the vbetkth, one of the Kalesh’s ancient natural predators.

Kolbth couldn’t even move.

“You’ve been a naughty boy,” the monster standing in front of Kolbth said in a whispering hiss, hitting some of the frequencies of a certain very venomous arachnoid from Kolbth’s homeworld, one that sent him to the emergency room when he was a child.

Kolbth peed a little.

“Cyberstalking is a crime, Kolbth,” the demon hissed, “It also makes the wrong people very angry, and when the wrong people get angry... I get a call...”

Bryce moved even closer.

“Please...” Kolbth whimpered, “the safe...”

“Your organs are worth more,” Bryce hissed.

Kolbth pooped a bit.

“Judge Johnson, who paid you, and supplied you with things you shouldn’t have, to stalk her?”

“Judge Dredd!!!” Kolbth gasped... “It was Judge Dredd... He made me do this!”

“Why?” Bryce hissed.

“H-he thinks she’s up to something... s-something to d-do with p-prisoners...”

Bryce smiled. Kolbth peed some more.

Stepping around the growing puddle, Bryce pulled a crystal out of his pocket and placed it on the computer desk.

“Congratulations,” Bryce hissed, “You found something. Tomorrow, give that to Judge Carter.”

He placed another crystal on the desk.

“That is passage on a vessel bound for K-tesh, your new frontier world, along with a rather nice resettlement bonus. The ship leaves tomorrow night. Be on it.”

“O... ok...” Kolbth whimpered.

Bryce turned and started to leave with that strange shambling gait.

He paused.

“I needn’t tell you what will happen if you tip off Judge Carter, breathe a word of our encounter to anyone, or fail to board that ship, do I?”

“n-no... I will be good... p-please...”

“Enjoy your new life and your second chance. Not everyone gets those.”

Bryce disappeared into the shadows of the shop.