Chapter 175: Karashel and Esau... The Contract

Chapter 175: Karashel and Esau... The Contract

Memorandum: The Federation Judiciary Branch assessment of the “Baleean Contract.”

Originator: Chief Council’s Office

Recipient(s): Those affected by the above contract

Distribution: Restricted, official use only. Please do not distribute to the public

Body:

We have examined the “Baleean Contract” and, after careful and rigorous legal review and comparison to all applicable legal precedents, we have prepared this summary/digest for your convenience.

It in no way supersedes the actual contract, nor does it constitute an official ruling on any of the terms and conditions that now apply to the affected systems. This is simply a brief summary so that you can adequately prepare and take what timely actions as you deem appropriate. It is strongly suggested that you have your own legal teams thoroughly review the agreement, and we will be more than receptive to any possible arguments or challenges to the terms.

However, we are neither equipped nor inclined to support frivolous claims. Please ensure that your filings have merit.

We would also like to state that compliance with the contract does not constitute in and of itself acceptance of the terms. Considering the possible consequences, we strongly recommend compliance while you prepare any suits or other legal action.

It is not within our mandate to give specific legal advice. However, we are allowed to state that the actual clauses are quite valid, and most have successfully been defended in court. Many of the specifics, such as payment amounts, interest and service charges, time limits, and general scope, are beyond precedent and have never been agreed to before in the history of the Federation.

We would also strongly advise against armed opposition, insurgency, or any violent protests. The contract’s terms and conditions are very explicit in what will transpire should that take place. In addition, the Federation’s response under such circumstances is quite well documented. We will not tolerate another armed conflict at this time.

We would also strongly advise against trying to move assets such as ships, currency, commodities, etc., which are now the property of the Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation out of your systems in an attempt to hide or otherwise deprive the Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation of their legal property. This is theft and will be treated as the crime that it is, with all responsible parties facing prosecution.

The terms are as follows. Each statement is linked to the appropriate sections in your ‘trade’ agreement.

Definitions:

The signing party providing agricultural products is hereby designated as “the provider.” The signing party purchasing agricultural products is hereby designated as “the customer”.

Term: The Baleean Contract is for the length of one decillion standard Federation Years and will be auto-renewed at the provider’s sole discretion. Note: There is no limit to the length of an agreement. Many agreements in the Federation extend into the hundreds or thousands of years. Therefore, as singular as this figure is, it is valid.

Products supplied:

The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation will provide the goods at the volumes stated in your agreement. The delivery schedule is at the sole discretion of The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation. The customer has waived all claims for any and all damages, including loss of life for any shipping delays planned or unplanned.

The customer accepts that agricultural products are dependent upon many factors, and should it be inconvenient to supply the agreed-upon quantities that they will hold the provider blameless and not liable for any damages or loss of life. The customer also agrees that the contract will be valid regardless of the actual quantities delivered.

The prices are as stated. However, they are also subject to shipping and handling fees to be determined at the sole discretion of The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation. Their methods of shipping and handling are listed as proprietary and thus are not subject to review by any signing party.

As of signing the agreement, the customer agrees to the initial shipping and handling fee of 1 decillion credits per year.

This has been reviewed, and there is no regulation or limit for any fee. As singular as this figure is, any attempt to challenge any fee, no matter how egregious, has repeatedly failed. Any adjustment to this fee is at the sole discretion of The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation.

Penalties for non-payment:

Interest will be at 100 percent per standard Federation year, compounded hourly. The customer has agreed to any seizure of any and all public or private property by The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation in order to reclaim any losses due to non-payment.

If the seizure of private accounts, businesses, or property to settle debts is not legal by the customer’s current laws or constitution, legislation or constitutional amendment will be immediately enacted to allow said seizures.

Delivery of goods can and will be suspended until said legislation is enacted if it is felt by the provider that this is not being undertaken in a sufficiently timely manner at the sole discretion of the Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation.

Note: This extends to all accounts or property of the signing party’s government, including their SDF fleets and civilian shipping. This also extends to any private corporation or individual.

The exact schedule of seizures, their scope, and the enforcement of said recovery of debts is at the sole discretion of The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation.

Note:

Please move all shipping to stable orbits IMMEDIATELY. There is very clear precedent when it comes to repossession of shipping. If you do not have enough funds in your treasury (as stated in your financial disclosures, which are a matter of public record), then The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation has already requested the manufacturer’s shutdown codes for all vital systems and loss of function of all vital systems including life support can happen at any moment.

Note: Continued use of military or civilian ships owned by The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation is piracy and will be treated as such. Considering the current circumstances in which the Federation finds itself, piracy is not advised.

Exclusivity:

All goods and services to the signing parties and their people will be supplied by The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation. This extends to all transactions, both inter-system and domestic.

Note: This exclusivity is total. Any exchange of goods and services must be through The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation or licensed representative. This includes bartering.

Note: This extends to any labor provided to another with or without compensation.

Note: This extends to gifts.

Note: This extends to lending someone the use of any property somehow not owned by The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation.

Note: This extends to any goods or services “gifted” to the signing party or any of their people by people or governments not directly affected by the Baleean Contract.

Note: This extends to emergency aid provided by any non-profit organization such as Starshield.

The OooOkt’ councilor climbed out nervously, his segments heaving with anxiety and fear as he found himself surrounded by a group of heavily armed and armored Z’uush.

“G18Balto?” one of the Z’uush, cradling one of their horrifying sonic sledgehammers, rasped.

“Y-yes...” he stammered, backing towards his sedan. “I’m supposed to be meeting... someone... here.”

“Hi there!” a cheerful voice exclaimed behind him.

Squealing with shock, he whirled around to find a pink baleel perching on the hood of his sedan.

“K-Karashel!” he stammered, backing towards the Z’uush who chuckle clicked with amusement. Their new boss was an endless source of entertainment.

“So, did you get your spawn, spouse, and assets to safety?”

“Y-yes... thank you...” he stammered, wringing his manipulators.

“You guys going to split up?”

“W-we a-are going to t-try to work things out...” he replied, “the events of late... t-they have shown us what is r-really important.”

“That’s wonderful!” Karashel enthused. “I do hope it works out for you! And I hear Kai-Valen is a wonderful place to live!”

He blinked and twitched. He hadn’t told anyone where they were headed.

“The exchange rate for Imperial credits is pretty good right now as well!” she exclaimed, “Spoiler: liquidate and exchange everything now. I have a suspicion this is about as good as it’s gonna get.”

“T-thank you...”

“You got something for me?” Karashel asked, her tone slightly changing.

“Y-yes... ma’am...” he replied as he pulled out a crystal. “T-that’s all of the private correspondence between myself, the Judiciary Department, and t-the others...”

“Why, thank you!” Karashel smiled as she accepted the crystal. “You got a way off-world?”

“I-I have booked p-passage on—“

“Oooh, bad idea,” Karashel replied, “Your bosses aren’t going to be happy when you cut and run, and it’s going to be very clear very soon that I turned one of you. You need to disappear right now.”

G18Balto gasped and heaved.

“Not like that, silly,” Karashel giggled, “I’m a Baleel. We don’t do stuff like that. I mean, disappear like slip onto a freighter as an undocumented passenger and make a straight, shiny trail right to Kai-Valen.”

“O-oh!” he replied.

“Just so happens that my friends here can make that happen,” Karashel purred. “And I’ll even buy this sedan off of you so you can have some pocket money! How much?”

“Y-you can h-have...”

“Nonsense!” she giggle bubbled. “This is a Cal-Vhelk Azure Grand Regatta! I even like the color! I’m prepared to offer you full starbook value.”

“T-that is v-very generous... t-thank you.”

“Just so happens I’ve come into just a little bit of money,” Karashel giggled, “And I want a car even fancier than Caw’s!”

A quick transaction later and G18Balto crawl scuttled into a white cargo van.

“Bye!” Karashel called out as the van rolled into the night. “Have a good life!”

She looked over at one of the Z’uush.

“I like him,” she said, crinkling her eyes happily. “I hope it works out with his wife!”

“So why’d you do it?” the scarred Z’uush asked.

“Do what?”

“Hook that guy up like that? A lotta people would have just left him out to dry.”

“Always take care of people when you can,” Karashel smiled, “It’s not just nice. It’s smart. He turned, and I took care of him and his family, even got him out of the Federation. The next person I want to flip is going to remember that. Heck, somebody I don’t even know can be flipped is going to know that. As of now, I am unofficially the one and only way out of the snare. That’s valuable.”

She oozed into the sedan.

“For example,” she said excitedly, “do you know how long the wait list for one of these is? And look! The mods for his body type are just right!I love it!!!”

“Did you target him because of his car?”

“Mmmmmaybe...”