Chapter 199: The Baroness and the Mail Order Bride.

Chapter 199: The Baroness and the Mail Order Bride.

In an elegant establishment on Garthranz, Uhrrbet's homeworld, crystal flutes filled with expensive sparkling Varteen and glasses of a bewildering array of sizes and shapes filled with the expensive and intricate cocktails for which they were specifically designed shone in the light as plates of dozens of different sizes made of intricate ceramic piece work joined in kintsugi fashion bore meals that were more art than sustenance.

Overhead, crystal chandeliers shone brightly as a horde of servers bustled among the tables of the privileged.

Not every grey had been laid low by the Ponzi scheme, and for those who survived, the times that followed were very good indeed. Those with the capital and know-how devoured the fallen and cabals or, in some cases, outright monopolies now ruled Garthranz business and industry.

For those few, it was truly the beginnings of a gilded age, and the tables were filled with rich, pampered, and happy grays smiling as they indulged themselves on a pleasant night out...

...all but one.

Under the tablecloth, Marruna swatted one of the seemingly endless paws of her "suitor" away from her skirts once again.

"Stoppit!" she hissed.

The creature posing as one of her species just leered and grabbed at an elegantly dressed server who expertly evaded his grasping paw.

"Hey, beautiful," he drooled, "Get us another bottle!"

"Yes, sir," she said with only the barest flicker of an eye roll.

Nearby tables rolled their eyes more unabashedly, hissed, and muttered. Vkkart was an unmannerly, loathsome troll and one of the only "eligible" Garthra of marriageable age anywhere on the planet (or anywhere else, for that matter).

Even with all of his father's wealth, he was simply too much. Garthras had actually drowned themselves rather than subject themselves to a lifetime with him.

Marruna was only here at the insistence of her uncle, to whom she was a bit indebted, who wanted to make a deal with the turd's father.

" I said stoppit!" she hissed as she yanked his hand away again.

"C'mon, beautiful," Vkkart whispered, his snout getting far too close, "let me get a little feel of what I'm buying."

Oh, hell no.

"You aren't buying anything!" Marruna hissed. "I'm only here because my fool of an uncle wants to make a deal with your dick of a father and your dick of a father is enamored with the idea of a title."

"Oh please," he replied, his hand becoming more insistent, "This is probably the only good meal you've had in months. At least pay me properly for it."

twitch

Screw it... and her uncle. She would sell off some more shit. The middle class was eating that stuff up, and the market was finally warming up a little.

"I'm telling you," she hissed, "if you don't withdraw your hand right now, you are going to regret it."

"What are you going to do," he sneered as he tried to find his way past one of the slits in the overdress her uncle insisted that she wear. "You don't want to cause a scene, do y—"

"I warned you!" Marruna shouted loud enough for everyone to hear as she, in one fluid motion, seized a snail skewer from the dozens of pieces of silverware and thrust it under the tablecloth.

Vkkart shrieked as he jerked his hand away, the skewer shining in the light of the chandeliers as it protruded from his skin.

At a nearby table, young Dalmma quickly pulled out her phone and started filming.

"Dalmma," her mother said firmly as she pushed her daughter's phone down, "No."

Marruna lept to her feet and pulled out a surprisingly large plastic bag from her bejeweled purse (already partially filled with appetizers).

"You are a cad without culture and whose breeding is purely accidental!" she shouted as she dumped an entire steamed scale crawler into the bag, scandalizing the room.

"I curse you, the family who brought you into this world, and my fool of an uncle who browbeat me into allowing you to court me!" she exclaimed as she dumped the entire glittering tray of bread into the looter's bag she brought. "You are not only unmarriable, you are intolerable, loathsome to the extreme!"The original appearance of this chapter can be found at Ñøv€lß1n.

"Oh, go and kill yourself already, you placeless beggar!" Vkkart shouted as he pulled the skewer from his hand.

Marruna's face twitched a little.

More and more phones were being held aloft. This was too good! A scandal! Here?

"I would rather no place than my 'place' being that I was attached to my father's dick like a suckling babe!" Marruna shouted causing the room to gasp. "Pray tell, how much is your allowance, little boy?"

Marruna seized the nearly full bottle of expensive sparkling wine from the table.

"And I do have a place!" Marruna said as she ranted, now at the room, as she stomped towards the exit. "—I have a home and staff who rely on me and-"

" You are nothing but a squatter squatting with other squatters in YOUR FAMILY'S TOMB!" Vkkart shrieked back. "Your uncle told us all about you...you squatter... you... ghoul...”

Marruna stopped.

"Please, sir," she hissed dangerously as she sat down the doggy bag and started to remove her earrings. "I apologize, but I seem to have misheard you. Did you say something?"

Dalmma's mother quickly pulled out her phone.

"You heard me," Vkkart yelled, "lingering past death, lurking in your parent's home... WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN STINKING UP THE SAKKVIN WITH THE REST OF THOSE FOOLS, YOUR MOTHER, YOUR FATHER, YOUR SISTER, YOUR BROTHERS..."

Marruna thrust the hand holding the wine towards a server.

"Could you hold this for me for just a moment..."

***

"Uhrrbet!" Gv'lora gasped at the table laden with fresh fruits, savory meats, candied bugs, and sweets of every description laid out before her. "how did you manage all of this?"

"I'm starting my new business, and my loan came in!" Uhrrbet lied as she smiled, thinking of the Harkeen looking up at her with helpless rage fading to fear as she pulled the trigger. "I thought a celebration was in order."

"Bah," her Rtoon "landlord" (the guy who actually had the lease) scoffed, "You should put this in your business, not wasting it on us, not until your first sale at least."

"But I already have my first sale!" Uhrrbet exclaimed untruthfully, "I have an order for a custom outfit from one of the people at The Drop of Oil."

She offered him a skewer of fresh watermelon, his favorite.

"Can you cease being grumpy for just one meal?" she asked as she tempted him with it.

She then opened one of several bottles of Martinelle Sparkling Apple Cider, produced for over a thousand years (with a ten-year break, of course), and filled everyone's glasses.

"On my homeworld," she said, "before everyone starts a meal," she said smiling at the bat-like Dokk who had already dived in, "we have a custom of raising our glasses and the host making a very short speech."

"Better be," the Rtoon grumbled.

"Oh, be quiet and let her speak," Gv'lora said as she playfully tugged at her friend's (they shared the same bedroom kind of friend) ear.

"When we first came here," Uhrrbet said, her voice filling with emotion, "We were lost, alone, adrift... We had nothing... no one... and... and you all took us in. You all took us in even though we had nothing. You brought us into your life... your family... asking very little in return and forgiving when we didn't even have that... I..."

Uhrrbet paused to collect herself, her chest hitching.

"I don't have much family left... and the only family that matters is in this room. You saved us when we had nothing, shared freely what you had... And in the years to come, I swear that I will do the same... You are my family and I always take care of family..."

She raised her glass.

"Klor Vava!" she exclaimed and drank.

"Getting kinda cocky over one dress, ain't ya?" the Rtoon chuffed.

"Oh, shut up and eat," Uhrrbet laughed as she grabbed a slice of fresh pineapple.

"So we can eat now?" the Dokk, fruit juice and crumbs still sticking to the fur around his mouth.

Uhrrbet laughed with delight and nodded. The Dokk needed no further confirmation and attacked his plate.

She smiled. Her table was full, and her family was happy. It was a good day, one of many more to come.

She brought her cider to her lips, imagining that it was that Threen's blood.

She drank deeply and sighed.

This was what life was all about.

***

On Garthranz, Marruna awoke in her bed with an empty bottle still firmly in her grasp.

Her head and her fists throbbed.

She smiled and groaned roughly at the same time as she stared upward at the fine lace of her bed's canopy.

"Well, that tears it," she snickered.

In that strange, supernatural way she always did, her personal maid Bagga opened the door shortly after she awoke, wheeling in a large basin.

"Good morning, My Lady," Bagga smiled pleasantly.

"Morning, honored servant," Marruna mumbled as she ran her fingers through the tousled fur of her head.

They shared a grin.

"Did you have a pleasant evening, My Lady?"

"You betcha!" Marruna replied.

"And you procured quite the feast as well," Bagga smiled, "I've taken the liberty of salvaging what I could."

Marruna smiled as she sat, with some difficulty, upright. "We will feast upon the crawler during our breakfast. I want a claw!"

"Very good, My Lady," Bagga smiled, "It's been all I could do to keep them away. In fact, I fear your claw and my portion may already be forfeit."

"Oh well," Marruna chuckled and then examined the basin. "What's that, then?"

"It is a tincture of local herbs poured over ice," Bagga grinned, "They maintain that soft, dainty hands unused to... rough treatment... might find it soothing."

Marruna slid her hands into the icy basin and sighed.

"Well, the ice is helping anyway," she replied. "Hey... It's kind of tingly..."

"Our new... horticulturalist... seems quite knowledgeable," Bagga smiled. "As I recall, the cigarettes he crafted were especially appreciated by Your Ladyship?"

"I distinctly remember a pipe in your proper little paws as well, Bagga."

"Well," Bagga snickered, "such base things are more suited to base creatures as myself... and as such, I can tell you that it was of the highest quality... My Lady. Our gardener is a man of many talents."

"Am I mistaken in observing you admiring said 'talents'," Marruna said as Bagga laid out her clothing, "particularly in the area from which his tail protrudes, a magnificent tail if I do say so myself?"

"You know what they say, My Lady," Bagga smiled, "Base is as base does."

"Ooo?" Marruna asked as she let Bagga remove her nightshirt, "You and our strapping new gardener?"

"One doesn't kiss and tell, My Lady..." Bagga replied, "...though they might boast about a very successful endeavor should it proceed past that point..."

"Tell me!" Marruna exclaimed with excitement.

***

Marruna, clad in somewhat stained and ratty hunting attire with a dagger and blaster pistol in a wide sash across her waist, descended the stairs to the great hall where a table was laid, the centerpiece being a large crab/lobster the size of a decently sized turkey.

On the opposite wall, a holo emitter was displaying quite the scene. Marruna was in a big poofy dress, astride a prone gentleman, and beating the ever-loving shit out of him in the middle of a fine restaurant.

"Already?" Marruna asked as she and Bagga entered the room.

"Almost instantly," Bagga replied. "In fact, it preceded your arrival last night."

"Any messages?"

"Multiple ones, My Lady," Bagga smirked. "In particular, your aunt and uncle are particularly keen to converse."

"I can imagine," Marruna smirked back.

On the screen, an enraged Marruna shoved her paw down the gentleman's trousers.

"Is this what you wanted?!?" she screeched as she clenched her fist, causing the gentleman to scream. "Is that what you desired, dear sir?"

More screaming.

"Say you're daddy's little bitch!" the on-screen demoness shouted. "Say it!!!"

"Ahem..." Bagga said in a quiet manner that somehow filled the room, causing a motley-looking group of Garthras to turn about.

"Shit... shit shit," one of them said as they flailed at the remote for the holo, which quickly disappeared.

"Good morrow, Lady Marruna," the group said in unison (almost).

"Good morrow, my good people," Marruna said, bobbing slightly, keeping her head erect, and waving one of her hands graciously...

...then she grinned.

"So, what were you watching?"

"Our favorite Baroness kicking some greyfluff ass!" a young voice piped up as the group burst into laughter, and Marruna, dispensing with the appearance of formality, scampered to the head of the table as one Garthra flopped into a chair and grabbed their much less complicated eating utensils.

"Bakk!" Bagga snapped," Remain standing until the lady of the house sits!"

A burly Garthra whose fur was a patchwork of stripe, blond, and white for some reason, grabbed the smaller Garthra by the scruff of the neck and hauled them back up.

"Why do we gotta do all this crap?" Bakk whined, "Marruna don't give a shit."

" The Lady of Eastladen may not care, but I do," Bagga said with an air of authority that did not allow for dissent. "As to 'why' we must do so, it is essential that you all know how to conduct yourselves as members of a proper house, which we are. We must conduct ourselves in such a manner to convey a sense of legitimacy, stability, and continuity for House Eastladen."

Bagga softened her expression... slightly.

Marruna looked at her expectantly as Keenita nibbled a cookie and sipped her tea.

It wasn't what Keenita was accustomed to.

It was better.

"Eh?" Marruna asked, her facade slipping for a moment.

"It's wonderful, My Lady."

"So," Marruna said leaning forward and sniffing. "This isn't down the street. This is a long way down some very interesting roads. Why did you really come out here?"

"Just to pay my respects to a fellow member of—"

"Spare the peekpellets," Marruna said, "It's not like we know each other. In fact, I've never seen you once in my life. Why did you come all the way out here? Did my uncle send you?" she added with a dangerous edge to her voice.

"No!" Keenita exclaimed with a mixture of shock and horror. She could only imagine the infighting that must be happening, especially after what transpired last night.

"Then, why are you here... really?"

Keenita took a deep breath and steeled herself.

"I apologize, but I misunderstood your situation," she said, "I am embarrassed to say that I came here with a trunk full of food and wine with which to ingratiate myself and..."

"Wine?" Marruna asked as her ears pricked up.

"...and then I was going to try to bribe you to perform a task for someone beneath you. I... I'm sorry, Baroness. I beg your forgiveness, and I will take my leave now."

"Now, let's not be hasty," Marruna smiled. "Why don't you sit down and have another cookie while my people unload your car."

***

A bit later, Marruna and Keenita sat at a table with an empty bottle of wine and two mostly eaten fleer breast sandwiches. (Keenita brought some really nice bread!)

"Well, that blows," Marruna said as she finished off her sandwich.

"My poor little Maadle," Keenita said, "He only had his presentation last month, and now he's been forced to marry that... that Garthra..."

"I would have used another word," Marruna said, "but 'Garthra' works."

Marruna picked at a plate of wild berries.

"I get that you are pissed," Marruna said, "But what do you want me to do about it?"

"Well... Creators, I'm so embarrassed now..." Keenita said as she shook her head, "But I saw... you know... the 'incident'..."

"Ah yes," Marruna chuckled, "daddy's little bitch."

Keenita, relaxed by half a bottle of wine, giggled.

"I still can't believe he actually said it," Marruna laughed. "So what does that have to do with anything? You didn't come out here to give me a bottle and an arm clasp."

"The wedding is in a month," Keenita said, her nose a bright scarlet from both embarrassment and more wine than she was used to, "and I might have come across some rather... interesting... information about my future daughter-in-law and her family. It would be a shame if it were to come out in a very loud, very public, and very hard to cover up manner in front of the entire assembly of their friends, family, and business contacts during the presentation and cordial assembly before the exchange of vows... and signatures."

"You wanted me to cause a scene!" Marruna laughed, clapping her hands.

"And the bride-to-be can be quite... volatile... if she had the feces beaten from her frame as well..."

"So you came to the new mistress of meltdowns to ply her with drink and cash to crash your little party to raise hell and kick butt?"

"Yes," Keenita sighed. "Disgraceful, isn't it? Please forgive me, Your Ladyship."

"And how much were you planning on offering me?" Marruna asked, her eyes aglow.

***

Uhrrbet sat in her new dress shop. The machines, supplies, and basic fabrics that she knew would be used were yet to be delivered.

That was ok. That wasn't why she was here.

Locking the door, she entered the back room, where she set up a camera and a laptop.

She pulled up the video concerning "the incident" and watched it with delight. She hated that asshole.

After viewing it just one more time, she quickly changed into a ragged and stained t-shirt and pulled up her image on the computer.

Using the software she purchased from the chuckies, she quickly added some dinginess to the wall behind her, as well as a few bugs crawling on the wall.

Perfect.

She then turned her attention to herself, made certain things smaller, certain things bigger, smoothed her very, very manly arms, and over the course of a couple of hours, created the Garthranz version of Cinderella.

Perfect.

She stripped off her clothes. Fur color match and skin overlays complete. Now to adjust things, so it wasn't an actual match... and even more attractive.

Perfect.

She then set up a scanner over to the side. She stood in front of it and waved her hands up and down as well as bent over forward and back.

The construct on the screen matched her movements perfectly.

Perfect.

She took a deep breath and centered herself. This time she wouldn't be killed if she got it wrong.

That just made it harder. She really wanted to sell this one.

She picked up the communicator and activated the laptop, which synced to it, displaying the construct.

She smiled.

Perfect.

***

Vkkart lay in his bed surrounded by ice, on his head, on his face...

stuffed into his pajamas...

He had been beaten by a girl...

Humiliated...

...and everyone knew...

everyone...

There was "viral," and there is what that video was. On the news, they were joking that it was 'so viral it might as well be a human'...

...On the news!...

...the worst part was that everyone was calling him the ONE gray in the entire species that couldn't get laid...

His father wasn't returning his calls. His mother... Creators...

...He wished she hadn't. It was awful. She... She said...

...She said that there were other ways to dishonor a family than bankruptcy...

... and other ways to lose one's place...

Tears welled up in his eyes.

She had killed him. That bitch had killed him!

His phone rang. Wincing, he looked at the ID.

It wasn't yet another news program. It was...

... From the Republic?!?

Creators, he thought. If his dishonor had traveled that far he really would kill himself...

... all over his mother's favorite tapestry.

Bracing himself, he answered the phone.

It was a girl!!!

It was a gray! She was wearing... well not much really. He could see her nips poking through the thin stained white garment she was wearing, and there were bugs crawling across the stained walls.

"Hello?" He asked in confusion.

"H-hi..." she said nervously, "I don't know if you remember me, but I'm Maaatisha."

"Maaatisha," he said as he sat bolt upright, "Yes, of course! I remember you!" he lied, "How could I not?"

"Oh dear!" she gasped as she raised her hand to her snout, "What happened to you?"

She doesn't know!!!

"Oh, this?" he replied dismissively, "Hoverbike accident. It looks worse than it feels."

"Oh good," she said. "I'm sorry to cut this short, but I don't have much time. This call is expensive, and I've spent the last of my money on it. I just had to see you one last time."

"You had to see... me?"

"Yes." she replied, looking downcast, "and to say that I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"I was one of the many wiped out by 'the scheme' and was introduced to you as a prospective bride. I..."

She broke down weeping.

"Maaatisha, what?"

"I don't have time!" she exclaimed, "I have to finish. I refused you. I refused you and your family's kindness, their generosity. I was vain and foolish, and I thought that I could do better, attract better..."

"And now look at me," she wailed as she pulled at her thin shirt, just happening to stretch it across her breasts.

Vkkart's pulse raced. A girl!!! A hot one!!! And she is sorry she didn't marry him?!?

"I was tricked into a false offer of prosperity and lured off-world," she wept, "I've been forced to... to work like a stripe... beaten... starved... and now... it's all over... I have been taken to the Republic..."

"But isn't that a good thing?" Vkkart asked, completely confused.

"It's all a lie!" Maaatisha wailed. "There aren't any jobs here, not for us. That 'little test'... It's impossible! They go to school for over ten years to be able to pass it. It would take us even longer!..."

She looked down.

"Time I don't have... not anymore..."

"W-what do you mean?" Vkkart asked.

"To get here, I had to go into debt with the Harkeen," she said. "to pay for passage, and then I couldn't pass the test and get a job... The interest piled up higher and higher..."

She broke down into tears again.

"No. Maaatisha," she said, "you don't have time. Cry later."

She looked directly into the camera, her chest heaving.

"The Harkeen were wiped out in the Republic, and the new boss, the one who now owns my debt, says that it's time to pay..."

She looked down...

"...with my body. They... they are..."

She wept for a few moments.

"Maaatisha!" Vkkart cried out in dismay.

"It's... it's ok..." she said. "I brought this on myself..."

She smiled shyly.

“But... before... that happens... I want the first eyes to lay themselves upon me to be of my own kind. I want Garthran eyes to see me as I am now, untouched... pure..."

"I want you to see me, Vkkart. You once asked to see what you were buying. I want to show you what I should have given you."

The thin garment fell to the ground, revealing an angelic vision of Garthran perfection, just as the screen went black with words "Call terminated, insufficient funds." glowing unmercifully.

"Noooooo!" Vkkart screamed.

***

Uhhbert, wearing a t-shirt and sweat pants, switched off "Maaatisha", closed the laptop, and shut down the scanner.

She smiled a jagged, toothy, crocodile-like smile.

Perfect.