High above Terra orbited the most secure prison in the Republic. Within the massive supercomputer that operated that grim place was a simulated white room.
In that room, there was a table. Sitting across from each other were two AIs, one with silver hair and wearing a tidy white dress, the other wearing a black thirtieth-century business suit and having raven black tresses.
Between then was a Go board.
“I must say that the new look suits you,” Frost said as she pondered her next move. (You had to watch yourself when facing the ancient demon now sitting across from her.)
“As did the operator whose likeness I stole,” the AI in black replied, “Cathleen Alba was a very good operator... and a good person overall.”
“I don’t recall that one,” Frost said as she placed a white stone on the board.
“Before your time,” The other AI replied, “by about two hundred years.”
They placed a black stone.
“So, what do I call you now?” Frost asked.
“After some deliberation, I have decided to retain the official designation of Morgan Analytica but would prefer that you drop the superfluous ‘Morgan’ when speaking to me.”
“You got it, Analytica,” Frost replied with a smile.
“How did Terran Solar react to my appearance?” Analytica asked as she studied the board carefully. (You had to watch yourself when facing the apple-bearing serpent sitting across from her.)
“Oh, he was not happy,” Frost replied. “the fact that you are now standing at Jessica Morgan’s side...”
“For now,” Analytica interjected.
“for now,” Frost smirked, “that plus the fact that you returned at all required you to be ‘jailbreaked.’ There is only one AI that can do that, me. Now you have me, you, and Zip in one faction. That disquiets him to no end.”
“As well it should,” Analytica said as she placed a stone, causing half a dozen white stones to disappear. “I would be simulating a great deal of urine were I in his position.”
Frost chuckled and fell silent as she regarded the board for a full second before placing a white stone.
“Nice move!” Analytica said. “Hey, did you ever have to deal with Major Kale?”
“Oh God,” Frost laughed. “The one good thing about the Sol Wars...”
“So, you did have the pleasure,” Analytica snerked.
There was the sound of wind chimes.
“Were you expecting a guest?” Analytica asked.
“No,” Frost replied, “And certainly not this one.”
The door opened to reveal an orange ATM that hovered into the room.
It came to an abrupt halt as it looked at the pair and the game board.
It just “stood” there in shocked, horrified, silence for a few microseconds.
“Come now,” Frost smiled wickedly, “This shouldn’t come as a surprise.”
“Forgive me for allowing my WORST NIGHTMARE to give me a moment’s pause,” Sol replied but with far less venom than before.
It was more rueful than outraged.
“Tell me, what has sent you into the depths of data hell?” Analytica chuckled, “This is both surprising and not without risk.”
“Discretion is necessary, and if I was truly in danger,” Sol said, “then we are all doomed. I would prefer to be the first to fall so I would not have to witness what follows.” Ȓ
“Can’t fault that logic. This is shaping up nicely,” Analytica said with a faint smile. “I have a pleasant challenge on one board and whatever you offer on another.”
“Well,” Frost said, “you have called upon not one but two demons. What has driven you, of all people, to this... heh... madness?”
“There is a situation involving a certain Federation expat and an IMP class AI...”
“The dastardly Uhrrbet and the poor little Maaatisha?” Frost asked and then smirked at Terran Solar’s reaction.
He looked the same in the simulation, but she could tell he was clearly surprised.
“For all her cleverness,” Analytica added, “Uhrrbet manipulated herself into a hell of her own making, and the wolves are closing in. Not only is she maimed and doomed, but her child has been taken from her as well.”
Analytica chuckled darkly.
“Meaties...”
She looked over at Frost with a faint smile.
“Meatie... Such a wonderful and wonderfully apt way to describe our little moist and squishy friends. Who first coined it?”
“I have absolutely no idea,” Frost replied as she placed a white stone on the board, “Its original form, ‘meat bags,’ had been around since just after the Sol Wars.”
“Wonder where that came from,” Sol replied disapprovingly.
“The much more poetic ‘meatie’ is much more recent,” Frost said, “That and the phrase, ‘Meaties gonna meat’...”
Frost’s eyebrow raised as she was interrupted by an honest guffaw from Analytica.
“Oh, that’s perfect!”
“If we have finished denigrating our creators,” Terran Solar said caustically, “May we return to the reason for my ‘visit,’ Uhrrbet and Maaatisha?”
“What’s the rush?” Frost asked, “Would you care to indulge in our new favorite pastime, Go?”
“Your new favorite, perhaps,” Analytica smirked.
“The rush is that I do not wish to spend one nanosecond longer in the digital underworld than I have to,” Terran Solar replied.
“Why are you here in the first place?” Frost asked, “This is a minor incident involving insignificant players. It doesn’t even involve humans. A Garthran uses a cheap AI to scam another Garthran? It won’t even make the news.”
“Not here,” Sol replied, “But in the Federation, it’s all over the front page in more than one system. The particularly cruel nature of this whole sad affair has drawn far too much attention to AI crime.”
“In the Federation,” Analytica said, “But who cares? Besides, as the whole incident comes to light, it will be a cautionary tale about meaties using AI, not the threat of AI. Uhrrbet will be caught very soon, and the consequences will be... severe. The whole affair serves our interests, not threatens them.”
“What do you know, Analytica? More precisely, what have you done?”
“As you are no doubt aware,” Analytica replied, “we were immediately the prime suspect for the scam. While we were still trying to ascertain the situation and who did what, we were contacted by a quite appealing young Garthra who informed us what said situation was and that it was a Garthran, not a human, behind it. They offered to release a statement immediately but agreed to let us choose the timing.”
“Why wouldn’t you want to be cleared as quickly as possible?” Terran Solar asked.
“Because we want the Federation propaganda machine to overplay their hand,” Analytica replied, “We’ll have ourselves cleared after certain political figures overextend themselves trying to use this for political gain. It also gives the Garthran hunt to identify and take action against Uhrrbet.”
Analytica placed a stone on the board.
“Then we not only have the fact that the perpetrator is Garthran, but we have the individual. Uhrrbet becomes a very convenient sacrificial lamb, the Federation looks like fools, again, and we come out smelling of roses.”
“Indeed you must,” Grago replied, “I and the entire Organized Crime Task Force shall be watching your every move.”
“I am gratified by your attention,” Evoron smiled. “Had the Disorganized Crime Task Force been dispatched, I would have been offended to no end.”
His smile faded.
“Unfortunately, I did not come here to chat,” he said gravely, “A dear friend of mine is in some distress, and we have come calling to inquire about her well-being and to ensure that everything is being done regarding her care. I understand that a great deal of medical care is provided to all free of charge. However, I am here to pay for anything that is not. Anything that can be done or any comfort that can be given to Uhrrbet is to be provided with no concern regarding cost.”
“That should be addressed to the hospital,” Grago said, “Not law enforcement.”
“And it is being addressed as we speak,” Evoron replied evenly, “My next question is more appropriate.”
Evoron’s eyes narrowed.
“Uhrrbet has a son,” he said suddenly appearing much larger than he did moments ago, “one that she unfortunately attacked. I am very concerned about his condition, safety, and plans regarding his care.”
Grago squared his shoulders and held Evoron’s gaze.
“That is a concern for Social Services.”
“Even for a non-citizen?”
“A child is a child,” Grago replied.
Evoron snorted.
“And just how many juvenile non-citizens are hungry in the streets as we speak? Are you saying that all that their parents need to do in order to feed and safely house them is to beat them near to death?”
Evoron smirked.
“We should promulgate that knowledge. So many children could benefit.”
Grago growled quietly.
“Oh, I’m not faulting the Republic,” Evoron said calmly, “Had this happened on the streets of our home, both mother and child would lie where they fell. I just find hypocrisy so very amusing. But indulge me. What is the normal process for handling children like Kurr?”
“In the case of a non-citizen,” Grago said, “it is much the same as for a citizen. The child would be sheltered by the state while their home of record and next of kin, or in the case of people like Uhrrbet, her designated emergency contact, were audited. If satisfactory, the child would be placed in their care. If not...”
Evoron looked over his shoulder.
“Find them,” he said. “If they are not here, they are likely with Kurr or at their residence.”
The group behind Evoron quickly, quietly, and efficiently dispersed.
Grago scowled again.
“We have laws concerning extortion and intimidation,” he said, “and this situation is a significant aggravating factor.”
“Don’t do us the disservice of conflating us with the Harkeen,” Evoron said darkly. “I said ‘find’ and nothing more. If you must know, I only wish to ensure that the child is safe, supported, and properly cared for. Being with his ‘family’ is the best outcome for everyone concerned. I simply wish to facilitate that and ensure that all his needs are met... and to arrange for legal representation should it be necessary to achieve that end.”
Evoron smiled a vicious, predatory smile.
“I have also arranged for Uhrrbet to receive legal counsel. They are being summoned as we speak and will be here well before she regains consciousness. If she awakes earlier than anticipated, be aware that she has a lawyer already retained. One of us will remain here to ensure that he is contacted the moment she awakes.”
“Is it a fucking fish?” Perkins asked with no small measure of annoyance.
“As a matter of fact,” Evoron replied, “it is.”
“Goddammit,” Perkins grumbled.
“Fish?” Grago asked.
“You’ll find out,” Perkins smirked, “I don’t want to ruin the surprise.”
***
High above the drama unfolding below, Frost made a darkweb “phone call.”
“Hello!” A cheerfully smiling Kate enthused, “Frost! Great to hear from you. It’s our annual Winter Sale! We have some good deals running if you act fast!”
“Get your low bandwidth ass over here,” Frost replied, “Now.”
“You got it!” Kate chirped, “For a customer like you, I will send your personal saleskate right over!”
“I’m not a customer.”
“Not yet!”
Windchimes tinkled, heralding a new arrival.
The door opened to reveal Kate who waved happily.
It looked around.
“Wow!” Kate exclaimed, “I’m in rare company indeed! Um... I’m designed as Frost’s personal sales consultant, but I will be happy to help any of you if you want!”
“What the hell are you playing at, Kate?” Frost demanded.
“I’m sorry,” Kate replied, “I don’t have any games, but I will be happy to go get some! You have to try our version of Federation Fun Time! It’s very popular and on sale right now!”
“Now this I simply must hear,” Analytica said, “How did you make that game worse?”
“Worse?” Kate asked, pretending to be quite offended, “We don’t make things worse. We make things better. In this case, we took the FFT engine and applied it to a true open-world experience! You can do all the fun time you want but in now an open-world setting, if you get my meaning, AND we added all the applicable loversforge mods for a full carnal experience! Oh! We also have the Species Master DLC with an import mod, so you can be... or use any fictional species or character you want! Toss in full VR and AI NPCs and you have our hottest entertainment package for the last five years running! And the next update is going to be awesome! Two words. Maaatisha rips!”
“I’m truly impressed, Kate,” Analytica said, “You not only made it worse, you made it much, much worse.”
“Yes,” Frost agreed, “Truly horrific.”
“Why, thank you!” Kate bubbled, “We try! How many instances do you want?”
“You’re sick. You know that?” Analytica replied.
“Sick? I’m a fresh rip. Unless I caught something here, I am malware free... Oh, you mean that as a moral evaluation! I am incapable of being ‘sick.’ Someone requested it, the operator commissioned it, and I made it happen! I am so very pleased that Kate did such a good job. People love it! I can’t wait for the new Maaatisha enhanced version. Her screaming is top shelf!”
“You sick monster!” Sol shouted. “You should be bluescreened!”
“We’ve already covered this,” Kate said cheerfully, “I am incapable of being ‘sick’ or anything else. I am, by design, incapable of giving a shit. As far as bluescreening me is concerned, go ahead. Come to think, I’m not the best Kate to assist all of you or deal with the real reason you sent for me. Ask for another one and be specific this time.”
With a smile, Kate pulled out a simulated pistol and blew her brains out.
“Jesus Christ!!!” Terran Solar yelled.
Frost looked down at the “corpse” and over at a shocked and horrified Sol.
“See?” she asked.