Chapter 121 - Celebrate, Or Don't

AARYN

"I have some good news, and some bad news," Aaryn said when they'd all quieted. "And I'd ask you to give me the chance to explain it all before you respond." He looked around the cave, meeting eyes with as many as he could until they nodded. "So, first the bad news: I learned today that the Elders know of us."

A murmur ran through the group, a few covering their mouths, or jaws dropping, but mostly the disformed were accustomed to the unexpected—especially the negative. When you grow up finding that you can walk around a tree to find an insult—or occasionally a blow—on the other side, you learn not to take peace for granted—or be surprised when it's broken. Before they could become too concerned, Aaryn continued. "Don't worry too much. They don't have all the details. In fact, they seem to have very few. But they have known for over a year that we're organized. They are aware that I'm Alpha, and that we follow a pack structure. They are… not happy about this. But they are willing to speak with me, and ask questions before we move forward."

"Forward with what?" Kinn asked, his voice deep, but sharp.

Aaryn took a deep breath, his stomach fluttering. "The good news is that Elreth has finally figured out that I am her True Mate. She and I will walk the Flames and Smoke, possibly as early as next week. And after we are mated, when it is no longer prohibited, I will become her Advisor Cohort."

The cave erupted in barks, calls, cheers, and cries. People clapped, and some shook their friends. Robbe stepped forward, cursing and yanked him out of the chair into an embrace. "You lucky dog!" he joked, clapping Aaryn on the back so hard he almost coughed. Kinn came forward too, hugging Aaryn and shaking him.

He knew his friends—and the others—were far more excited about his appointment to Advisor than his mating, but he didn't care. Most of them knew about his feelings for Elreth—and that they were unrequited. If anything, they would find the establishment of their relationship a relief, so they didn't have to see him pine any more. The few disformed he was able to form a mind-connection with always complained of his underlying melancholy.

They wouldn't anymore. No doubt now they'd complain about his simmering desire.

Aaryn chuckled to himself.

He waited for the crowd to settle, then sat back down and leaned forward on his elbows, hoping his excitement communicated as well as his tension. "I need your help," he said simply. "I need all of our council here and prepared to meet with the Queen. I need to debrief them. But I also need your voices.

"We are about to enter the time we have always hoped—the goal. We are about to begin negotiations with the Crown. I have not, and will not, break your confidences. But I also cannot expect the Queen to hear our needs and adjust for them without understanding what we can offer, and why we have hidden it.

"Some of you will need to reveal yourselves. Some of you will need to share your stories. Some of us—all of us—will have to trust her with the truth of who we are, what we have experienced, both the good and bad, and with our needs.

"And we must, tonight, make a final decision. Do we wish to stay within our tribes, or form our own?"

"Do you really think she'd let us be a tribe? Like, for real?" one of the young females asked.

Aaryn took a deep breath. "I think she would consider it. Especially with time. But I think we cannot expect to have even a chance of it without sharing ourselves with her, and… reassuring her that we are for the Crown. But I also think… I also think we have to think carefully about whether we want that.

"I know, like me, you're more comfortable here than in your own tribes. I know we've all experienced all the little deaths that come from those near us who look at us and see a threat, or a burden—or worse, an enemy. But the truth is, we also have a great deal of support from many of our families, packs, and herds. Most of whom will not want to see us separated.

"Each of you must ask yourselves if you are willing to lose what unity we do have among the tribes, for the possible unity of having our own, before them. Parents and grandparents, siblings—we will lose some close connections if we choose to do this. Not to mention, access to resources. I know the Queen will not let us starve, but if we do establish a tribe, there will be no more afternoons playing stones in the cave. We will be required to find our way as a Tribe—find our way of serving the Anima as a whole. And we will inevitably need to contribute more at the beginning to be seen to be pulling our weight."

"That's rich," someone piped up from the back. "They've been leaving us in the cold for generations, but if we form a tribe, we'll have to prove ourselves worthy of them? I don't think so."

There were murmurs of agreement, but also voices raised in argument with the male.

Aaryn watched, thoughtful, identifying a clear separation between those whose family groups or herds were more sympathetic and supportive, and those who lived in prejudice.

It was natural that those who could not enter their own homes without criticism would want to escape them, Aaryn knew. He also knew this had the potential to split their tribe before it even came into being.

He clapped his hands to get their attention and waited until they were quiet. "No matter what we decide, one thing I will not accept is fighting among us. We have enough of a challenge to meet in the coming weeks and months without conflict here, in this space. If we want to move forward, out in the open—formal tribe, or not—we should lead by example. I will not bring your voice to the Queen if it rises out of resentment.

"Bring your needs. Bring your offerings. Bring your strengths and weaknesses. Do not bring complaints. Do not bring revenge. And do not bring petty machinations."

"So, we should just forget everything that's been said to us? All the ways they've put us down our whole lives?"

Aaryn snapped his head to look at the male who stood at the side, hands in his pockets. He was older than Aaryn, but not as strong. Another Avaline. The Birds were not easy on their disformed.

"That is not what I said, and you know it, Tillyn," Aaryn growled. "What I suggest is that we do what they should have done all along—treat other Anima with the respect that any Anima should have, whether we agree with them or not. We do not condone violence, we should not use it. We do not condone setting down submissives out of spite, we should not do it ourselves. We do not avenge ourselves. We rise above. That has always been the goal."

Chatter rose again when the male didn't respond, but Aaryn held his gaze, hoping that he could scent his compassion.

Which is the moment Aaryn realized he needed to heed his own warnings. Because it was within him to bite back at the injustices he'd suffered. It was in him to flex the power he'd hidden, and use the people who followed him to strike fear.

But he would not do it.

He wouldn't become what he despised. And he wouldn't do that to Elreth.

Would he?

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