Chapter 214 - Advise Me This - Part 4

ELRETH

She walked stiffly back to the cave, pleading with him in her mind to follow, to come after her, to pull her into his chest, to… to give in. 

But he didn't follow her. She couldn't believe he didn't follow her. 

She paced the cave for twenty minutes before she accepted that he wasn't coming after her, then threw herself on the sleeping platform and wept like a baby.

She hadn't cried that hard since… since she was a cub.

How could he not see this? How could he not see that she was offering him the world on a plate? That she WANTED him to make the disformed a success. That she yearned for him to give her their perspective on every issue, not just them becoming a tribe! That's one of the reasons she wanted him as her cohort to begin with!

Why couldn't he see that if he didn't protect his relationship with her, his relationships with the disformed wouldn't work either?

Eventually her sobs subsided and she just lay there, staring at a spot on the wall where the sinking sun blazed through a small gap over the door and lit up a circle on the cave wall.

Then suddenly the door opened and the late afternoon sun made her squint. He closed the door quickly, leaving her blinking as he approached.

But he stopped before he reached the sleeping platforms. She'd sat up to look at him, but she didn't speak, just held her breath. What had he decided.

"I'm going for a walk," he said quietly. "I didn't want you to worry. I just… I need to think about all of this."

Her stomach sank. She wanted to scream at him, to demand that he see it her way. That he open his eyes to what she was offering. But she swallowed it all down and just nodded. "Okay."

"I'm not leaving, El, I just… I need to move and I need to think and I can't do that here."

She shrugged. "Okay."

"Stop saying that."

"Saying what?"

"Okay," he said in high pitched voice. "Clearly this isn't okay!"

"Well, what do you want me to say?" she snapped. "I can't understand what you even have to think about!"

"And that," he said, his voice low and hard, "Is part of the problem. This is a huge decision and you want me to make it in a blink. You want me to not even think it over. You want me to just do what you think is right. Well, I can be wrong, El, but so can you. So I need to think about this."

"Fine."

"Great."

"Be careful," she snapped.

"I will," he growled. Then he turned on his heel and stalked out.

Elreth threw herself back onto the pillows and started to cry again. But she calmed much more quickly this time. 

He was her mate. Her True Mate. They would get past this, she reminded herself. It was just going to take some time.

Ignoring the chill in the pit of her stomach, she got up and made her way out to the fire they'd built the night before, checking her bags on the way to see if she could find anything to eat. 

But nothing sounded good, and her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. So instead, she just made a fire and sat next to it praying that if he got lost or turned around, he'd see the smoke and come back.

That was all she needed, she decided after an hour… she just needed him to come back.

***** 

AARYN

He didn't get back to the cave until well after high moon. He was still a little angry, but mostly sheepish. He knew he'd made it worse by leaving, but he hadn't known what else to do. He couldn't think of a time when things had been so tense between them. He'd had to get away to be able to breathe. But all it had done was put a wall between them until he almost felt like he couldn't come back. 

When he finally crept into the cave, Elreth was curled up under the furs, her back to the middle of the bed. She didn't stir.

He stood at the foot of the platform for a moment, watching her, asking himself if he should wake her. But he was still so undecided, swinging back and forth about which way he should go… he was terrified she would be angry that he hadn't agreed with her yet. 

Then again, she'd probably be so tired that even if he had agreed with her, she'd bite his head off.

No, it was better to let her sleep. He would speak with her in the morning and pray that they could discuss it without yelling again. He'd hated that. 

It wasn't that they'd never fought—they'd been at it like cats and dogs since they were kids. But the truth was, he'd thought with the True Mate bond it would save them from those moments—or at least temper them. It had seemed that afternoon like the opposite was true. He'd never seen Elreth so quick to leap to anger, at least, not at him. And he'd found his own defenses rising so much faster than usual.

Why?

Aaryn sighed. He wished Reth were there, to ask him if this was normal or if there was something wrong with them—something wrong with their bond. Maybe because he was disformed?

Aaryn froze. That had never occurred to him before. Was it possible that being unable to shift affected his mate bond?

He knew disformed could have true mate bonds, but he'd never thought to ask them if their bonds appeared… different. 

Raking a hand through his hair, he turned and leaned against the sleeping platform to remove his leathers and shirt, then climbed carefully up to slip under the furs away from Elreth so he couldn't disturb her.

Then he lay there, swallowing and staring at the back of her head in the dark, wondering if things would ever be the same between them again. And wondering what he would do if they weren't.