Chapter 80 - SOMEONE WANTED TO TALK

Veronica was in a dilemma about how she should act in front of Arthur. She had never fought with Catherine before, so she had no idea how to ignore a friend when she was mad at one. At that time, she heard someone speaking outside the tent she was in, "Miss Veronica, are you busy? May I come inside?"

"Sir Felix?" Veronica stood up and moved the curtain a little to make sure that it was indeed him. "What makes you come here at this hour?"

Felix said, "I have something to talk about. May I please come in?"

"Sure," Veronica let him in. "Please sit anywhere you want."

Nothing in there was suitable for people to sit except for the bed. Thus, Felix declined her offer, "No, it's fine. I'll just stand. I don't have much to talk about."

Veronica understood that he didn't feel comfortable and so she didn't push any further. This was a situation similar to what she had faced when she was in the temple occasionally. Male members usually refuse to sit on girls' beds. They would feel uncomfortable.

She did not sit either. She simply asked, "What do you want to talk about?"

Felix hesitated. He prepared his heart before coming here but he was still afraid. He was afraid of hearing a negative answer from her. He took a deep breath and stated, "Miss Veronica, you are from Utahill. Since you are a part of the healers' group, you must have visited the temple often. Have… you…" he licked his dry lips and continued, "have you ever seen Joana? She lived in the temple. Although she didn't tell me what she did there, I think she was a nun or something."

"Sir Felix," Veronica said, "I used to live in the temple. I know her." She disclosed the matter as she did not want to hide it from him anymore.

Felix's body swayed. He steadied his body by grabbing onto the corner of the bed. He seemed a lot more emotional than he was before. It was like he was holding his emotions back but he couldn't control them anymore after hearing her answer.

He took deep breaths before looking at her with pleading eyes, "Can you… can you please tell me how…" His eyes were becoming teary.

Veronica said, "Before I tell you about her, we were used to knowing her as Sister Ruth. Not as Joana. She was a Senior Nun. One night, she hung herself. Please don't get emotional for what I'm going to say."

She paused before continuing, "It seemed like she did something she shouldn't have and she was surprised that she didn't feel guilty about it. Since she didn't feel guilty even though she knew she was in the wrong, it drove her mad. She lost her peace of mind and she became restless…" She stopped there and then inquired, "Do you have any idea what she meant by 'she did something unspeakable'?" Her voice was filled with sympathy.

"Oh…" Felix sat on the bed as he couldn't stand anymore. "Is this my fault? It must be it."

Veronica stepped closer to him in concern. "What's wrong?"

Felix panted heavily in grief as he told her, "We… one night we slept together."

Veronica froze. "You did what?!" This time, she realized what sleeping together meant. It wasn't just simple sleeping that would make Sister Ruth drive crazy. The couple had sex and she realized what sleeping together really meant.

She was taken aback. She couldn't imagine a nun of all people would break the law. This was forbidden and so unheard of. What surprised her most was that Sister Ruth didn't regret what she had done. But, it came with a price.

"She didn't feel regret but this is what drove her mad. She thought she sinned and so, she killed herself. Ah!" Felix groaned painfully and covered his face. Tears fell from his eyes like a waterfall and he couldn't stop them. He blamed himself as he couldn't protect her. Back then, everything happened so naturally. He didn't even think that she would be having a hard time for what they did. It was the best night they had and none of them would ever forget that.

Veronica's heart was beating rapidly. She didn't know what to tell him. Her head was blank. She sat on the bed right beside him. Both of them were in their own world. One was grieving in regret, another one was speechless.

A long time later, Felix wiped his tears and asked, "Was there anything she said to me before she… committed suicide?" His voice choked when he said 'committed suicide'.

Veronica said, "She spoke to no one. I think she wanted to protect you. She didn't even write down how you look or what your name was. There was a vague mention of you. But she adored you from the bottom of her heart. I know that much."

"If she didn't speak to anyone, how did you come to know about it?" Felix seemed a bit cautious. It was natural for him to suspect or doubt her.

If the temple found out about Sister Ruth's misdeed, they wouldn't stand still. They would try to find out the truth at any cost. After that, they would cover it up so that other people wouldn't do the same mistake.

Veronica sighed and took out a diary from her bag. She handed it to him and said, "This is Sister Ruth's diary. We are aggrieved after she passed away. I wanted to know the truth behind her sudden death. So, I investigated a little. I found her diary. I think you should have it."

Felix took the diary with his shaky hands. After that, he carefully opened the diary and saw Sister Ruth's handwriting. His eyes were filled with tears once more. "This is her handwriting…" he said. Then, he looked at Veronica and said, "Thank you. Thank you so much, Miss Veronica."

Veronica responded, "It is nothing. I'm glad I could be of help. If you find anything after reading her diary, please do tell me. I want to help you in discovering the truth." This was her request to him. She waited for him to reply.