Chapter 244 - HEART WRENCHING PAIN

He cleared his throat and asked her, "What do you want to do? Do you want to go back to your friend or stay here a little more?"

"…" Veronica lowered her head and wiped her face with her handkerchief. She did her utmost to calm down.

Without looking at him, she replied in a broken voice, "I have to go back to my friend."

She told herself, 'I shouldn't let Zinnia know what I witnessed. I need to clear my head before I make a big mistake.'

Max didn't argue. "Let's go back then. You can wash your face there before you meet her."

"Thank you, Max." Although she wasn't feeling well, she knew she had to thank him for opening her eyes.

"Don't mention it. You are my friend, right?" Max grinned at her.

At the bar, Zinnia finished her dinner and five mugs of beer. Even so, she didn't get drunk.

She saw Veronica coming from the back door and said, "You took long enough."

"There was a little mishap. I needed to clean the floor," Veronica lied.

Zinnia observed her face and asked in concern, "You don't look well. Are you okay?"

Veronica forced a smile. "Not really. The smell of the beer was too much. I vomited. I don't feel well."

"We can go home and rest. You want to go tomorrow, right?"

"Yes, let's go back." Veronica agreed easily as she wanted a quiet place.

After reaching home, she went to her bedroom that she shared with Arthur. She sat on the bed and looked around.

Every inch of the room reminded her of him. She could smell a distinct fragrance of his body. It was like he was everywhere in the room.

A pang of pain turned her entire body numb. Her body trembled and she didn't know how to stop it.

She looked down and covered her face with her cold hands.

'Arthur, what am I going to do? You said you loved me. What kind of love is that? Isn't love supposed to be loyal? Is there any other kind of love? Doesn't love mean being loyal and true to each other?'

'That's why I have been learning since I was a child. Whatever I learned, cannot be wrong, can it? I don't want to believe what you told me is a lie. I want to trust you. I should trust my husband and take his side.'

'But… after what I had witnessed, how can I… how can I trust you?'

Later at night, she kept trembling. She felt cold. She covered herself with the comforter, but it didn't work. She couldn't warm up her body.

Late at night, around 3 am, she woke up from a nightmare. 

She dreamed that she was being chased by dark smoke. She ran away as fast as she could. But the darkness won and she was engulfed by thick black smoke. 

She woke up sweating. Her heart was thumping loudly. 

To find support, she glanced at the bed and didn't find Arthur.

Her glittering eyes turned dull. Her thumping heart slowly cooled down.

She recalled what those women said at Morina's Palace.

"She was nothing. She will be nothing."

She let out an empty laugh. Loneliness crushed her.

'I thought he would come last night. I'm so pathetic. I shouldn't have thought of anything. I shouldn't have expected anything. When will I learn?'

She got up from the bed in slow motion. The comforter slid from her body. The chilling temperature made her shiver.

'Why am I so cold?' she wondered.

Covering her body with the comforter, she walked forward. She opened the door of the balcony and stepped outside. 

Her fingers touched the railing, The wooden railing was cold. 

She remembered their home in Tybu. The whole building was made of stone. Even the balcony railing.

Thinking of that, she pitifully smiled. 

'What home? Whose home? When the husband isn't there to support his wife, can the wife call his home her home?'

'Men in Tybu are frivolous. That's why girls are more alert. They don't want to be taken advantage of. They are independent and have separate homes. They won't be homeless if their husband abandons them someday.'

'But what about me? What will happen to me? I don't have a home or money.'

All of a sudden, Veronica felt hopeless. Her heart was empty. Her brain was occupied with nothing. 

Looking down at the dark, quiet street, she had a new type of thought.

'As long as I'm with him, I'll keep trying to bring him back to me. I won't be able to tolerate him with another woman. I will turn into a jealous wife.'

'Men hate this kind of woman, don't they? Arthur most certainly won't like me interfering in his life. He might think of me as a nuisance.' 

'If I disappear from Arthur's life, would he be happy? He might feel better if he could live a life without being bothered by a jealous wife.'

'Even so, should I plan everything myself? I don't even know what was the reason behind his flirting with those women. I should ask him and talk this out like a real couple, shouldn't I?'

The vision of Arthur kissing and hugging other women in Morina's Palace abruptly came to her.

Her whole body trembled. 'How can I face him like this? I don't want to face him or talk to him.'

'What if my fear turns into reality? What if he says he is bored with me and he doesn't want me anymore.' 

She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head.

I believed in him and I want to believe in him. But that scene in the room… it couldn't be an illusion. He can't use magic to make someone else do this job here. He has no power here. It's not magic or an illusion.'

'If he was on an assignment, he could have told me. But he didn't. He kept it a secret.  How can I keep trusting him after what I saw with my eyes?'

While thinking, her head suddenly became dizzy. She didn't notice before that she wasn't feeling well due to her thoughts and worry about Arthur.

Her body swayed and leaned forward. She couldn't balance herself and fell out of the balcony.