Chapter 101 That Wouldn't Happen

Boarding one edge of the longest desk, her footsteps came to a stop as her short heels reluctantly stopped their Tip tap tip tap-singing sound. Beside the classic table, and in the relaxing silence of the chamber she opened to me, one of her hands, that was previously anxiously stroking the strategic board's smooth wooden surface, went up and unbuttoned the single button keeping her white cape on her shoulders.

Swiftly, by first letting it slide down her exposed, delicate shoulders, she took it off with both hands and folded it on the chair beside her. She was very feminine and sensual, and now that she was presentable, and after she pressed her fingers flat against the smooth board on her right, she heaved out the deepest of sighs, as her other hand was placed on her resourceful breast. That was a very long sigh indeed.

What were we doing, then? Both she and I stopped. I was still pretty much standing by the entrance, not even three steps in, and the lady was standing beside that rustic longboard, upon which were all sorts of little strategic warfare-related decorations or pawns, laid out on a long map, fighting their own fight. Still observing our silence, I walked a few additional steps inside, hoping to move things along, and it worked… which I believed made the royal lady alert again since she could overhear my, the little monster's, footsteps behind her back.

Giving a start, she also then walked additional steps onward. I mean, it was about time. Was she planning on making me wait here for so long? The lady still pressed her pale fingers on the surface of the giant wooden board. The board was very long and not so wide. It had two ends, and she now seemed to be headed to the other end of it. Ah, and she began talking to herself out loud again.

"Seriously… Cheer up, myself," she whispered so faintly. Was that such a habit of hers to talk to herself like this out loud even in the faintest of whispers? If it was, the scared girl probably needed to keep her mouth shut, but I didn't tell her that. In any case, maybe it was my fault for being so silent. I mean, she probably felt all by herself, no? I liked to talk to myself out loud when I was alone, too.

"I've already said I'd be taking care of 'that'... Yes, I'd go about doing 'that,' eventually. Although I could only dream of it up until now… I can now certainly pull 'that' off…!"

Did she really think I couldn't hear that soliloquy, though? Or were my sharp senses teamed together with "Mana Perception" that effective? I guess any normal person couldn't make out what she said, at least.

Reflexively, now that her weak, meager back and frail shoulders were exposed to me, I couldn't help but envision myself jumping at her neck to tear her head off, but I bit my tongue and suppressed my urge to. Her whisper didn't stop yet, and I paid attention to it again.

"...That's right…! My older brothers all have done 'that'... They said that though 'it' was unlawful and forbidden by the law, I, their stupid, ignorant younger sister, was so very naive to think doing 'that' wasn't either necessary… or hell, even already practiced by the affluent nobility… Nobles, to safely deal with every matter of the palace-life, had to at least have a handful of 'soldiers' of their own they could trust… Otherwise, as the eldest son said, you never knew when your head would fall down…! You just had to keep it a secret… But… The scoundrels…! When they proposed to help me with 'that' and I accepted… they but laughed at my face, so arrogantly, and exclaimed that a woman had absolutely no need for 'that'...! A woman, they said…! What, was I supposed to clam up and obediently get married to the first duke's son, or whatever, coming to ask for my hand…! I don't think so…! …So I could only dream of it up until today, but now… I have 'it'...! That, and I've been entrusted with the heroes from the other world's training… So I can only succeed: I'll prove my worth to Father here, and come back with a powerful soldier, too! I could only dream of it up until now, but now, as per a miracle, that powerful soldier is, on a silver tray, simply offered to me? Yes it is! I shall seize it!"

By the end of her silent speech, the royal lady got a bit too carried away, started to speak louder than she intended to, exclaiming her words out loud for all to hear, shook her fist in front of her, and slammed it on the other end of the long strategic board.

Hesitant, I asked her whether everything was all right. When her eyes quickly darted back on me, she pressed her lips together, didn't utter a word for a second, but then cried out that she was indeed. "I am!" She seemed like a fun and passionate person. Oh, and at once, again, as if she were a single lonely soul on the stage of her life, she spoke some more words to herself: Should she really go about recruiting the "powerful weapon," though?

What if she was just turned down? It was all too scary, by the way. If she wasn't wrong, the level of that "powerful weapon" was almost in the fifties—that was quite a lot. Yes, the girl was mostly bizarre. Little did I understand all she spoke about, when she said powerful weapon, irregular soldier, or a soldier that she would keep just to herself, she talked about me.

Giving herself a round of many slaps on one hand with the other, she admonished her fear and eventually said that "it" all was necessary, that if she didn't get herself together right now, she was really done with her life and get married to the first (good) suitor (of high nobility), and so she absolutely would despise that.

She also added that although she wasn't the kind of person to believe that a marriage had to be one of love instead of interest, she wouldn't simply marry the first fucking asshole; those were her words; that came ask her hand.

All of that being said (only to herself—I didn't hear anything), she noisily cleared her throat, said she would prove herself worthy out loud, and flashed me her best business smile. "So… I believe you must understand the reason why you were brought here, correct?" Her voice was still slightly trembling as she obviously feared me, but I decided to ignore it and commend her strength to pull through.

We had entered the chamber a moment ago already, but it was only now that the girl was ready to entertain her guest. It was about time she did. Standing by one end of the longboard, I was at the opposite chair where she had folded her white cape.

"Ahem. Please sit." I sat. "The reason why you—"

"Please sit," I echoed her words. She sat, too.

"Yes. So, the reason why you—"

"Yes, ma'am. I understand everything. Everything… truly everything. I'm not lost in the slightest, not at all. Yes, ma'am. So, uh, I understand that I'm not a monster and that I'm only here, with you ma'am, to discuss the business of… well, it's quite simple really—the business of trading my orc head for a handful of silvers. Or whatever currency suits yourself, really, I wouldn't mind. My old man says I have to be polite, so really, I promise I wouldn't mind. Okay? Hm. Anyway, we complete the quest, we trade orc heads and silvers, and we're done with it, ma'am."

I just thought I'd let her know. In my momentum of motivation and decisiveness, explaining with actions rather than words what I believed was the nature of my affair with the charming royal lady, I promptly took off the "Warlord Orc Head x1" Item Quest—as the System called it with the AR display—I had in the bag, and swung it up.

The stinking decaying head dived through the air, its silver hair dancing wildly all around itself—in the dull silence, both my and the lady's eyes jumped to observe it fly—but it evidently started to dive back down, and bam. I didn't think of the consequences of my act.

Thud!

The decaying head crashed itself down onto the giant strategic board, crushing the little soldier figurines and the like, spraying some blood on the giant map. Like a creamy cake flat on the ground, the warlord orc head made a squishy sound, and that was it.

Or no, it wasn't. I was embarrassed, now. I felt like chuckling a little since I found what just happened kind of amusing, but I had to keep a straight face, look the royal lady in the eyes, and repeat that such was the nature of our business here.

"Hand over the silvers, now, damn it! ...Would ya? …Uh, ma'am." Crap. That probably didn't go out as intended. But it was right. If, as I had reasoned, we were here to trade heads and silver coins, well, now she needed to hold her end of the deal and pour some silvers on me. That wouldn't happen.