Chapter 104 Potential

Now she truly pitied me. What was it with her? I mean, so many crazy people in my life. She was scared senseless minutes ago, but now she had forgotten it all. Should I remind her I could be her nightmare at any time? I probably shouldn't, no. I guess she was maybe still a little afraid of me, in any case. As she was a noble lady of the palace, one of the direct descendants of the king, no less, she had a good poker face and couldn't let her true emotions show through easily.

But what a hypocrite anyway: was she really telling me she wouldn't want to kill a monster, too, if she was faced with one? Of course she would. But was she a hypocrite or only so stupid? What was more, it was only so faint, but there seemed to be the slightest touch of genuine affection, sorrow, and pity in her eyes. Kind of like an older sister caring for her crying kid brother who just scratched his knee playing outside. From the long distance between each other, she leaned closer and closer to me by the minute, exposing her cleavage and neck to me.

The way she was all so relaxed now was surreal, but I guess when she made it clear she didn't want to harm me, she might have truly believed I was not out to kill her.

And, I mean, that was certainly true. I didn't especially want to put her down, but I still entertained the thought. After all, I still didn't hear a word of what she had to say to me, the monster. As I didn't also plan to let her go if she knew about my identity, well, she shouldn't feel so safe. I wouldn't say a word about that, of course.

Then, I was about to speak but eventually didn't. With a relaxed posture, however, a little grin and a weightless, peaceful gaze, the royalty begged me to speak what was on my mind.

So I asked her why. I was a monster and it pained me, at first, to have people chase after me for the sole purpose of doing away with my existence, but I accepted it, in the end. It was just nature. I was the enemy of most of everyone, but I didn't have any bad feelings.

Not right now, at least. I killed people, too, and I would keep doing that, so it was only fair that I didn't complain about my enemies when they wanted to kill me, just like I hoped they wouldn't hate me when I killed them. Besides, some people still accepted me as I was, like my old man and the girl I might have loved, for example, so I was all right. But why didn't she want to put me down herself? She should be my enemy.

The girl squinted her eyes at me, leaned closer on the table board, and placed a finger on her lips. Whispering to herself as she used to, she mumbled that she shouldn't have treated me so formally from the beginning and that I was more of a lost kid than a scary monster if I wasn't pissed off, according to the few minutes of discussion she had shared with me.

Still, were my naive looks all just an act, maybe? Finally renewing her resolve to get herself the "powerful soldier" she needed, she decided to still be wary of me and answered me.

"Have I not told you already? I have an offer I would like to make to you." I asked her what an offer was. "Bluntly, we could… work together?" She didn't answer my question the way I wanted her to, but she let me know she could use my strength.

"Confused."

"You could work under me— for me, monster."

"Why?"

"Ahem. That is… Oh, am I not making sense to you, monster?"

"No, but…" I tilted my head to the side. "What is an offer, ma'am?" On my first day, the first human Receptacle I had allowed me to learn how to speak and understand all kinds of words without a problem at all, but there were still words I wanted to make sure I understood well depending on the context. That's why I asked again, with genuine interrogation. "Say, what is an offer, ma'am?"

Now, the royalty looked at me with confusion, analyzing me with big eyes and raised brows. After a second, her lips flashed into a real smile, she chuckled a little bit to herself, shaking her head with amusement, and it was then that the lady decided that she had been mistaken about me all along. "I can't believe it," she said.

I noticed she gazed at me just like she did before, with a certain fondness in her eyes and affection. Smiling at me and confessing to me she had been wrong about me all along, she told me I wasn't a monster.

Well, she repeated that I actually was, but that it was different. And so, after asking for my permission, she left her seat by the end of the long desk and accommodated herself right next to me. She was confident a boy like me wouldn't hurt her, her voice wasn't shaky at all anymore, and her eyes grew calmer and surer.

Her idea was the following one: all she had to do to be safe around the monster was not to piss him off, because he could actually be so sweet she was all good and safe. That was quite the change in her behavior, but I reasoned she must have been so determined to get herself the powerful weapon she needed.

That was that. Smiling more brightly, she seated herself right around the corner of the strategic board, pushing some pile of documents away and leaning closer to the table. Once she was perfectly accommodated, she went about it again.

"I understand you're confused… I haven't given any detail. Will you care to hear me, my offer, then?"

At long last, I nodded to her, mirroring her happy smile. From the crippling exchange of not so long ago, we went to friendly smiles and kind words. At first, her smile didn't seem half-genuine and sincere, not even close. Still, she was a noble lady of the palace, so her poker face was very well developed.

Even in the tensest of situations, she could manage to put on a brave smile and deal with whatever affair she had at the moment. Presently, her smile was different. It wasn't entirely genuine, but it probably was closer to half of that. While I was surprised by what could be referred to as both her foolishness and soothing friendliness, she quickly dived into her offer.

An offer. We quickly dived into it. Or maybe she alone did that. Mostly her lips danced up and down when her hands waved around. She spoke when she had to speak, and I carefully listened to everything she said. With the following question: What is potential? She introduced me to her talk.

So, right, what is potential? Potential, hm. That was the topic, for now. Potential was great, I liked it, and I wanted it. I didn't know much about it, but I liked the sonority of the word. I could say that it had potential as a word.

According to the royalty, or from what I understood of what she explained to me, potential was basically that—might. It was power, among other things. When someone had potential, they had the ability and power to do what they liked to do, but most of all what they should like to do.

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Thus, theirs was the potential to change and act on the future. That was right—they could, and should, seize the future with their big, large hands, palm and fingers, squeeze it really hard, and shape it into whatever form they should like to see.

But it isn't just that. Potential isn't just might and power. Or let's say that it is, but it should never go without being fulfilled. It couldn't be wasted. At any cost, it couldn't. This was the golden rule of potential. As a matter of fact, wasted potential was potential no more, the royalty explained.