Chapter 30 - Heartbroken

Finland left Caspar's penthouse with a sad heart and he made no move to stop her from leaving. He had expressed his love for this girl three times, and three times he was rejected. He was still a man, and he still had his pride. He couldn't bear another rejection.

As someone who had lived for a very long time, Caspar understood human nature quite well. He knew that Finland had her own fears and it was not her fault that she had a hard life before she met him.

Her bitter life turned her into someone who was afraid of getting hurt, so asking her to let go of the only family she ever had must be very difficult.

Too often people fall in love and follow their hearts, and in the process they throw everything away to be together with their loved ones. But, when the love begins to fade and the relationship ends, all those sacrifices become meaningless, Finland thought.

Caspar may be able to promise her his love, his wealth, and even his time for Finland, but the girl didn't feel like she was part of the Alchemist's clan.

Finland was yet to understand that commitment played a very important role in an Alchemist's life principles. That was why an Alchemist would not get married until they found someone whom they love completely, so if necessary, they would be able to live together forever. This search could last hundreds of years.

Alchemists would also not have children if they were not ready to become parents. That was why there were very few of them in the world, and that number decreased significantly during World War 1 and 2 several decades ago.

***

Ben wanted to take Finland home, but the girl refused politely. She took the bus and headed to Robertson Road No. 1. Along the way she tried to calm herself to hold back her tears, but when she arrived in front of Jean's apartment, her tears flowed profusely.

She knocked weakly on the door and a moment later Jean came out and found her crying in front of the door. He quickly helped Finland inside.

"What's the matter? Didn't you go to work today?"

After Finland sat on the couch, Jean poured some orange juice and gave it to the girl. "Drink first..."

Then he took out his handkerchief and carefully wiped the tears that flowed down Finland's face.

"Jean..." Finland finally buried her face in Jean's chest and sobbed there, "I may have met the man of my dreams... but I can't be with him, Jean... I'm very sad..."

"Why not? He doesn't want to be with you?"

"No… that's not it…" Finland sobbed, "His life is too complicated, it doesn't suit me. You know how we can't find information about him on the internet? If I go with him, you won't be able to find me later, too. And I won't be able to call and see you again. I can't live like that. You are my only family"

Jean stroked Finland's hair and tried to calm her down. He did not really understand what Finland was trying to say, but he was aware that Caspar gave Finland a requirement to leave Jean if she wanted to be with him, and the girl could not accept it.

"Finland... do you love him?" Jean tidied Finland's hair that fell over her face and fixed his gaze on the girl's brown eyes. "The most important thing is your feeling. Do you love him too? I know it's only been 3 months since you met him... but honestly this is the happiest I've seen you in the 4 years I've known you. You look alive and happy now. Maybe that's because you also fell in love with him."

Finland nodded.

"I love him, Jean. He is an amazing person. But love is not the main thing. My mother fell in love with my father and we know what happened to them, right? The love they had faded even before I was born, and my mother suffered until her death. I don't want to be blinded by a moment of love. This too shall pass..."

Finland covered her face with both hands and sobbed again. "It's just n common heartbreak... I only need time to calm myself down and forget about him... My heart will eventually heal. I just need to focus on my work for the next three years, and then I can move to Paris to live with you, as previously planned..."

Jean looked at Finland for a long time. He was not sure that Finland would recover that easily; he had never seen Finland like this before.

"Okay... I am going to stay in Singapore for a month to make sure you're okay." Jean embraced Finland and patted her back fondly. "Do you want to stay here tonight? I'll make you your favorite soup."

Finland nodded weakly.

Jean told Finland to rest in his room while he cooked a simple soup that Finland liked. When the soup was done, he found the girl fast asleep in his bed. Finally, he stored the soup for later. Jean then climbed into the bed and hugged Finland from behind. He sighed deeply.

"I know you are afraid of falling in love because you have never experienced any form of affection from anyone; you have never been hugged, soothed, defended, nor loved... You know that if you open your heart to someone, it means that you give that person the power to break it... Love means giving power to someone to hurt you but trusting them not to."

As a child who also grew up in loneliness, Jean understood how Finland is feeling. As children, they didn't experience a warm loving home growing up. They didn't understand the meaning of a parent's love and they long for acceptance, protection, and even a mere hug.

But Finland's experience was far worse compared to his because she also had to work to support herself and she was often harassed by girls who didn't like her because they were jealous of her beauty.

Every cell in the girl's body was always ready to fight and defend herself. Her heart may opened to Caspar since their first meeting, but her brain would not let her surrender.

Now her brain was whispering to her broken heart all the reasons why she cannot be with the person she loved.