Chapter 56 - Maybe this is my karma

Finland just finished taking a shower and was getting ready to sleep when Caspar called her.

When Finland saw Caspar's name appear on her phone screen, she immediately recalled the incident this afternoon when Katia said things that made Finland nervous, especially when she said that Caspar had dumped many women.

How many? Who were they?

After one minute, finally Finland picked up Caspar's call.

"Hello," she said softly.

"Hi, Finland. How was your day?" Caspar sounded a little worried because he heard Finland's unusual tone.

"I'm happy," Finland said briefly. "How was yours?"

"It's OK. I'm pretty busy, but I had a chance to meet my brother Aldebar. I told him about you. He was very impressed and invited you to come to Germany to attend his 200th birthday celebration."

Finland could only shake her head when Caspar casually talked about his brother's 200th birthday celebration. She didn't know when she would get used to Caspar and his family's weirdness...

"He was born in 1818?" Finland asked.

"End of 1818, right. December 31 to be exact." Caspar chuckled. "People like us only celebrate birthdays every 100 years. Aldebar and I usually hold big parties by inviting all relatives from the Alchemist clan. It is a rare opportunity to meet and exchange news. Otherwise, my people only meet in meetings once every 10 years or in large events such as weddings. Weddings are usually the only time that our clan accepts new members, namely ordinary people who will receive the immortality potion as a wedding gift from us. Like Louis, Flora's husband. We have had very few weddings because the Alchemists are very picky when it comes their life partners. There are times when we don't have any wedding at all in a hundred years."

"Oh..." Finland suddenly thought about Katia who said that Caspar dated many other women during their 50-year relationship and he usually dumped them after one month.

She then scolded Caspar, "Could it be that your people are not into marriage, not because you are all picky... but because you don't really value other people, and prefer dating different partners without having to make any commitments...?"

"Do you think I'm like that?" Caspar asked in surprise.

"Katia said you dated a lot of women, even during the time when you were engaged to her. That was why she left you. Ben also said that you had many women before you met me." Before Caspar could answer, Finland hastily added, "No... don't you blame Ben anymore. He was just telling me the truth, which Katia confirmed."

"Finland, since I met you at the airport four months ago, I did not date any other women," Caspar said firmly. "Why would I be with anyone else? I have found the one."

"You dumped women after one month, that's what I heard from Katia," Finland said softly. "Frankly, I'm afraid... You and Katia, who have been together for 50 years together, can break up. What about us? We have known each other for only four months... Do you understand how I feel?"

"I..." Caspar didn't know what to say.

"I admire you, and I think you're a very great person..." Finland said. "Last week I was almost sure that I really loved you... But at the same time, I was increasingly afraid that if my feelings for you would became deeper, then the pain when you leave me will get worse..."

Finland's soft voice did not sound angry, but sad and scared, and it tore Caspar's heart. He would rather see Finland angry and accuse him of being a player, than having her sound scared and sad like this.

He could imagine Finland's worried expression on the other side of the world. Her fear of being hurt, causing her to shrink and close her heart to him. How was she able to open her heart to a man who had the power to dump her like he dumped thousands of women for the hundreds of years he had lived.

"Honey... I understand. I swear I will never hurt you. It hurts me to see you hurt. I would never do it," Caspar said after a while. He then took a deep breath. "Maybe this is my karma for hurting all those women. Now, the only woman I love, can't open her heart to me..."

Finland bit her lip and said nothing more. She really wanted to trust Caspar and give him her heart. She loved Caspar. She missed him every day. But she could not deny that she was very afraid of being hurt.

Throughout her life Finland had put up wall to protect herself because she had suffered too much. She knew that if her heart were hurt by love, she would not be able to recover easily.

They fell silent for a while.

"Uhm... I won't bother you any longer, I know you're very busy," Finland finally said. "I also have to sleep. Tomorrow I will go wakeboarding with Jean. He will go back to Paris on Thursday, so we only have a few more days to have fun."

"Finland... let me know," Caspar said before hanging up. "What will make you believe that I am truly in love with you? That I have fallen in love with you, and that I have never felt this way before. What will make you believe that I want to take care of you and that I will never hurt you? What should I do?"

"I don't know..." Finland answered honestly. "You said to me, when you know, you will know. Right now, I don't know."

"Alright. Fair enough." Caspar sighed. "Have a good sleep."

"Thank you, good night."

Finland ended the call and tried to sleep. Her body was tired but her mind couldn't rest. All night long she tossed and turned on her bed trying to sleep, but she couldn't. Finally, she got up and cried until her tears dried.

Somewhere in Germany, in a large and beautiful castle, Caspar held his phone with a heavy heart. Beside him, a handsome man with long golden hair who looked like a prince from a fairytale, shook his head with concern.

"I agree with you. That must be karma," he said, smiling. "That's what you get for hurting so many women in the past."

"Aldebar, you will also get karma for mocking your troubled brother," Caspar scolded him. "One day you will know how it feels to love a woman who doesn't love you back."

"I am not afraid of that." Aldebar patted Caspar's shoulder and left the library. His casual smile irritated his brother.

Caspar sighed again, and murmured resentfully, "Surely this is indeed karma. Ugh..."

He paused for a moment thinking about what he had to do to reverse the bad karma that made him fall in love with a girl who wouldn't open her heart to accept his love.