Chapter 118 - Serious talk with Jean

"Tomorrow we will spend the whole day visiting the Louvre. That will be my third birthday present. Then, the day after, we will go to Palace of Versailles, it will also take all day because it is quite far and we need to take the train. Entering Versailles will be my fourth gift to you. Then, we will spend another whole day in Disneyland Paris, the fifth gift from me. Then, on Sunday, we can see Notredame, the Eiffel Tower and spend time on the canal by boat. After that we will go to my mother's home to have dinner together. Incidentally, Maman* is in Paris. I want to take my car from her place, so we can go to Colmar by car the next day."

"Wahhh... everything sounds so much fun! Thank you!" Finland was very happy to hear about their travel plans and Jean's planned gifts for her. She was also pleased that they would meet Jean's mother during her visit to Paris this time.

She only met Rosalind Marchal, Jean's mother, in Singapore once and was very impressed with her beauty. Even though her expression looked aloof, Rosalind Marchal treated Finland very well back then.

At the age of nearly 50 years old, she still looked very beautiful and she was still busy with various socialite charity activities. Jean himself admitted that he rarely met his mother.

"Want to watch a movie before we sleep?" Jean asked as he cleared their dishes. "There's a fun new horror movie on Netflix."

"Yes, please," Finland replied. She tried to refrain from looking sad all day.

She would miss the things they usually to do together such as watching movies while snacking on Jean's favorite carrot and yam slices, and of course, she would miss sharing stories with Jean every day about what she experienced.

Jean prepared a bowl of carrot slices for them, a bottle of port that Finland brought for him from Lisbon, and two glasses. He started the movie and sat comfortably next to Finland. They enjoyed watching Netflix while snacking on carrot slices and drinking port.

"It's a very scary story..." Finland commented after the movie was over. She sighed with relief, because finally the 90-minute tension ended. "I never thought this kind of horror movie would scare me, but it did."

"The director is indeed a genius," Jean agreed. "I was also not able to guess the ending earlier. I consider that a sign of a very good movie. If I switched into acting, I want to learn from directors like him."

"Did you get another acting offer?" Finland asked.

"More and more. When I went to Seattle a few months ago, I stopped by Los Angeles and met several directors there. Many interesting stories are being developed. I might think of moving to America to pursue a career in the movie industry."

Jean shrugged, "I still don't know. My life in Paris is quite comfortable. But, I don't want to stay in my comfort zone for too long. My initial plan was actually to wait until you finish your three-year work commitment in Singapore, then go on an adventure with you to make travel videos and stuff. However, it turns out now you're already married to Caspar. So, I think whatever you plan for the future, will definitely be around his life. I can no longer expect us to travel together around Europe and make travel videos..."

Finland knew that Jean was very smart, and she already thought Jean would think about this before Finland could talk about it. She felt a little guilty about getting married so quickly and keeping it a secret from Jean. She was sad that their plans for future failed because of her marriage.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hide my marriage from you..."

"I was wrong, Finland. I didn't think Caspar would be so serious with you in such a short time. I thought I still had time."

Jean suddenly sounded very serious.

"I've liked you since the first year of college. But I know myself, and my very busy schedule was not suitable for having a girlfriend. That was why I didn't want to tie you down as my girlfriend. But I tried my best to always help you, and be there for you, and protect you from men who are not serious with you, like Anthony Wu... I thought, once we are not too busy, we can somehow be together as a couple. We already have so many plans for the future... How you will move to Paris, how we will travel the world, how I will star in your travel videos..."

"Jean..." Finland looked at Jean with teary eyes. "I know... I thought so too. I liked you from the first time I saw you. You are probably the first person who respected and cared for me and the only person who fully understands me. But, I held back and killed my feelings for you, and decided to love you as a friend. I needed you more as my friend and family... I didn't need a lover, because a lover is able hurt my heart and leave me.

This relationship that we have, our pure friendship, is deeper than that of two lovers. I didn't want to lose you when our romance were to end. You were so kind to me. When everyone hurt me, I could always come to you. But if we dated and you broke my heart, who do I go to? Who do I have in this world besides you, Jean?"

Finland knew that Jean loved her, and in the past, she did love Jean too. But the past years Finland realized that she did not want to risk losing her best friend if the romantic relationship between them ended.

That was why, in her heart, she decided to love Jean like her own family, because she did not have anyone else in this world.

"I know..." Jean nodded. "I understand. When I see you two together, I know that you love him, and you look happy with him. So, I'm genuinely happy for you, Finland."

He hugged Finland and tried hard to stay calm. "Because of that, I want to pursue my other dream, Finland. I will forget my love for you and pursue a career in United States as an actor. I will let you go, so you can live your new life, and I pray that you will always be happy..."

This time Finland could not hold back her tears. She sobbed. It seemed like Jean really wanted to forget their relationship for their common good.

She knew that Jean loved her, but Jean was acting chivalrous by supporting Finland and Caspar's relationship, even though that would give him pain.

In her heart, Finland was more determined to give Jean the memory potion. It was better for Jean to forget her, so he wouldn't suffer too much because of losing her.

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*Maman = Mum (French)